Disclaimer: I do not own the song "I'm Ok". That song belongs to Christina Aguilera and her record company. NOT ME! I OWN NOTHING! SO NO SUEING! THANX!

Charm: Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in so frickin long. --; I've been grounded from ff.net and still am. --; The way I'm getting my stories up is by my bud Kayla! THANK GOD FOR YOU KAYLA! *gives her a hug and a cookie for being so awesome* Well I got an idea for this song after I received Christina's new CD about a week ago... "I'm Ok" is a very good song talking about abuse. And U can guess how it'll tie into this story... If ur thick reread "Filling in the Holes" and/or "Girls and Guys" to refresh ur memory! ^^

Squid: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Bri: Excuse me?! I AM NOT AN-

Charm: HEY! THAT'S THE WARDEN'S LINE BRI! *thwaks her*

Bri: *glares at charm* Watch it Charm... I know where u live.

Charm: OO;;; EEK! *hides behind Twitch (oh yeah I'm real safe there.. --;)* Oh and btw: I can't exactly remember Bri's mother's name... --; Sad i kno... I htink it's b/c I wrote about her dad so much I either never came up w/ a name for her or I don't remember it. --; So bare w/ me here. ^^ Oh and this gets pretty graphic with abusive flashbacks. I'm finally gonna reveal why Bri's father went from loving her at the age of four to beating her at the age of five.

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Chapter Four: I'm Ok

It had been two weeks since Brianna and Squid had found out Brianna was pregnant. About one week ago Squid had bought some tickets to fly him and Brianna to New Orleans so she could check on her brother. Brianna really wanted to know wether or not the letters were true. Brianna was spending most of her time at home since there had been no new cases since the last case she took. She was packing her and Squid's things for their trip. They were leaving in two days.

Squid was working a lot lately. He wanted to get his hours in before he left to New Orleans with Brianna. Brianna didn't mind of course. It was his own decision and she had to respect that just like hers to go to New Orleans again. Brianna was now supposedly about a month pregnant now since her doctor had said Brianna was about two weeks pregnant when she was first told. Brianna hadn't told anyone yet. Neither had Squid.

Brianna was watching TV in the livingroom of her home when she heard a knock on the door. Brianna got up and and answered the door and found Michelle, Twitch, Zigzag, and Shaily on her porch. Shaily, of course, was in the front, pounding on the door. Brianna smiled and let her friends into the house. Brianna returned to her seat on the couch and Shaily occupied the place to the left of Brianna and Michelle the other side. Twitch and Zigzag leaned agianest the wall.

"Spill it Bri!" blurted out Shaily.

Brianna blinked. "What're ya talkin' about?" Brianna asked.

"What's been goin' on here lately! Ya hardly ever come out of this house anymore!" growled Shaily.

Brianna laughed. "Oh I haven't told ya guys yet have I?"

"Told us what?" asked Michelle, blinking.

"I'm pregnant... About a month to be exact," Brianna explained.

Michelle and Shaily's eyes widened. Twitch and Zigzag groaned. "OH MY GOD! YAY! ANOTHER BABY SHOWER!" squealed Shaily,from her position on the couch. Brianna stared at Shaily. Maybe she shouldn't've told her. "RRRRRICKY!!! DIDYA HEAR!" she giggled, looking her husband. Zigzag rolled his eyes and nodded, not wanting to hear any more of the subject.

"SHAILY! CALM DOWN! IT ISN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL!" shouted Brianna, angered by her friend's overreaction. Michelle laughed.

Shaily blushed and sat down. She looked at Brianna with her big blue eyes. "If you ever need someone to talk to come to me. I've got three more month of pregnancy to go... So I know what'll happen... And besides... You're going to drive Alan crazy as the months go on," Shaily snickered. Brianna smiled and glanced at Michelle who had a grin on her face.

Zigzag cleared his throat and everyone looked at him. "What is it Ricky?" asked Shaily, slightly annoyed.

"Can we PLEASE go?!" he grunted. Shaily sighed and nodded.

"I'll see you later. Well... Hopefully before you fly off to New Orleans!" Michelle and Shaily whispered, hugging Brianna. The two left with their husbands close behind. Brianna shut the door and laughed. God did she have some crazy friends?

* Two Days Later *

After sitting on a plane for four straight hours Squid and Brianna finally arrived at New Orleans. Brianna was excited about being back in her hometown and she was also slightly scared. She couldn't wait to see her one of her best friends again. Kayla Marie Lawerence was supposed to meet them at the airport.

"Brianna Lyn Barlow-Synch?" asked a familar voice coming from behind Brianna as Squid picked up their bags. Brianna grinned and turned to see Kayla.

"Oh MY GOD!" Brianna squealed, hugging Kayla tightly. "It's so good to see you!" Kayla hugged her just as tightly and nodded. "But honey... My name's Brianna Lyn Smith now."

"Shit! You done and got married?! Man, I never thought I'd see ya married Bri," laughed Kayla. "So what's new, besides your marriage?" They all started walking and Brianna had three bags in her hands. Squid had three and Kayla offered to take some for Brianna.

Brianna smiled, "COuldya wait 'til we get to yer car, Kaze?"

Kayla nodded and laughed. "Sure."

When they finally reached Kayla's car Squid put all of the luggage into the trunk. They got into Kayla's car. Kayla in the driver's seat, Brianna in the front passanger seat, and Squid stuck in the back. Brianna turned around and kissed him. "Sorry hon, but me and Kaze got a lot to catch up on," She explained to him. He rolled his eyes.

"So what's new with everyone... And you two?" asked Kayla as she started to drive to her home.

"Me and Alan've been married for a year... Zig and Shail have been married for like three and Shail's gonna have their baby in three months. Michelle and Twitch just got married about four months ago. Magnet and Susan have been engaged for about four years I think... And uhm...Sherri's engaged too," Brianna explained.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah... Something REAL big," Squid said, with a grin spreading on his face.

"Ooo! TELL ME!" Kayla squealed.

"I'm pregnant," Brianna said blushing. "A month to be exact." Kayla stared dumbstruck at Brianna. She smiled at Kayla. Kayla's jaw just dropped as she turned back at the road. It quickly turned into a smile.

"Oh my God... Congrats Bri and Squid," Kayla said, containing all her joy inside her. She was driving and didn't want to cause a wreck.

* 30 Minutes Later *

"Hey could we stop here...please." Brianna whispered. Squid and Kayla looked to see the cementary. They understood why and Kayla pulled over. Brianna got out oof the car and was followed by Squid. She walked up and down the rows until she found the tombstone she had wanted to find. It read:

Sheena Lyn Barlow-Synch.

Brianna sighed and ran her fingers down the pink marble tombstone with her mother's name ingraved in it.

//Once upon a time there was a girl//

//In her many years she had to learn//

Tears stung Brianna's eyes as she ran her fingers across the tombstone. "Mom..." she whispered. Squid sighed and decided Brianna was better off being alone for this. Brianna watched him leave, smiling. It was scarey how he could read her mind like that. Her gaze returned to her mother's tombstone. "I'm so sorry..."

* Flashback *

//How to grow up living in a war she called home//

"GOD DAMMIT! YOU SHUT UP WHEN I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" shouted Daniel Synch as he struck his wife. Brianna watched from her bedroom door. Fear burning in her eyes.

//Never noticed the shelter from the storm//

Brianna watched the fear flash across her mother's face. Her father's fist striking her across the face. Brianna wanted to cry. She shouldn't've seen this at her young age of five. Blood splattered againest the wall.

//Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face//

//Everytime my father's fist would put her in her place//

Five year old Brianna glanced at the clock on the wall. It was about eleven at night. Tears fell silently down Brianna's face. Her sister Sarah was behind her equally frightened by her father. Mark, being the oldest, was in the room with the girls and had Jason in his arms. He tried to comfort all of them but Brianna wouldn't stop watching the pain being inflicted on her mother.

//Hearing all the yelling//

//I would cry up in my room//

//Hoping it would be over soon//

Blood hit the walls. Screaming from her mother could be heard. Sarah was sobbing. Mark calming Jason down. Brianna was the only one who couldn't be heard. Her tears were silent but they were real. She never made a sound, but that wasn't what mattered. Her tears were still real.

* End of Flashback *

Brianna's tears fell to the grass. The pain she endured was nothing compared to her mother's. But Brianna knew that was a lie. Her mother had told Brianna when she was younger that she had went through more pain in watching then receiving. Brianna also still had a scar from a curling iron her father had caused. But Brianna still believed no matter what her mother recieved more beatings than herself. Brianna once heard a song on the radio about abuse. She couldn't remember the entire song but she knew the chorus. She slowly whispered,

//Bruises fade father but the pain remain the same//

//I still remember how you kept me so afraid//

//Strength is my mother for all the love she gave//

//And every morning that I wake I look back at yesterday//

//I'm ok//

* Flashback *

"Oh Brianna! Where the hell are you!?" slurred her father's drunken voice.

Brianna was hiding in her room. She had climbed into her closet. Her father was drunk. When he was drunk he was voilent. She was so afraid of him. Sarah was hiding in the closet as well, but further back since she had Jason in her hands. Mark was never struck by his father, nor Sarah or Jason. It was always Brianna.

"GET OUT HERE GOD DAMMIT!" roared her father's voice. Brianna slowly climbed out of her closet knowing if he found her hiding her beatings would be worse. Brianna came out of her room and looked up into her father's glossy drunken eyes. He smirked. "There ya are ya whore," his voice hissed, his slur getting more notable.

//Everyone wondered why I carried all this guilt//

//When it's you who helped me put up all these walls I've built//

"Ya know what..." her father rumbled looking down at his daughter's young face. "I hate you. I HATE YOU!" He swung the glass beer bottle at his daughter's head but she ducked. She soon found out that was a mistake.

//Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door//

//Echo of a broken child screaming//

//"Please no more"//

Crying, Brianna forced herself onto her knees and then to her feet again. She wasn't letting her father win. She took hit after hit. Blood running down her mouth from her teeth cutting into her cheeks from his fists' furry. Her cheeks bright red with hand marks across them. Brianna was wishing she was dead at that very moment. Her father was growing bored with just hittings now. "I HATE YOU!" he roared as he hit one last time so she fell to the kitchen floor. Blood spilled out of her mouth.She tried to push herself up. Her father kicked her in the stomach.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE! I HATE YOU!" he shouted over and over as Brianna took strike after strike.

//Daddy don't you understand the damage you have done?//

//For you it's just a memory//

//But for me it still lives on//

"It's because of you... girl!" hissed her father. She was hardly ever called Brianna by her father. The only time he did that was when he was about to beat her. "It's your fault! Ya hear me! You! It's all you!" her father took another swig of his beer. She cried. Tears slicking down her face, mixing with her blood on the kitchen floor. Her father sneered and lifted her up off the floor. He held her againest the wall.

"You wanna know why I hate you..." Brianna remained silent. She knew she wasn't to answer him. Even a slight nod would set her father off. "I hate you because yer the one causing us to go into money trouble... Everything's about you... from yer bitch of a mother..." His voice was extrememly slurred at this point. Brianna took every word as a strike to the face. "If it wasn't for YOU I wouldn't have ANY trouble! I wouldn't hafta work so much if it wasn't for you! IT'S YOU FUCKING FAULT!" Brianna was thrown againest the wall on the other side of the room. She hissed in pain but dared not move.

//Bruises fade father but the pain remain the same//

//I still remember how you kept me so afraid//

//Strength is my mother for all the love she gave//

//And every morning that I wake I look back at yesterday//

* End Of Flashback *

Brianna covered her face in tears as she thought of hearing those words from her father's mouth. If it wasn't for her... It was her fault.... She was only five! How could any of that be her fault. It was his own fault for wasting money on beer and liquior. His own fault! How dare he blame the money crisis on her!

//It's not so easy to forget//

//All the lines you left upon her neck//

//When I was thrown againest cold stairs//

//And everyday I'm afraid to come home//

//In fear of what I might see there//

Squid came up to Brianna, realizing how long she had been there. It had been too long. He kneeled down next to her. "Brianna..." he whispered. She turned and threw her arms around his neck. "Shhh," he said in her ear. "He can't hurt you anymore."

"Alan...He..." she stuttered.

"Take yer time."

"He blamed me... He hated me because he said I was causing money troubles when I was five... It was his own! He wasted all our money on liquor or beer... He blamed ME for it!" she cried into his shoulder. Squid stroked her hair. "Alan... Don't EVER EVER let me drink... Please," she whimpered, afterward. He nodded and she smiled weakly. "Thanks."

"No problem," he told her. He reassured her with a kiss on the mouth. Brianna broke the kiss and turned to the tombstone once again. She whispered the lyrics again.

//Bruises fade father but the pain remain the same//

//I still remember how you kept me so afraid//

//Strength is my mother for all the love you gave//

//And every morning that I wake I look back at yesterday//

//I'm ok//

Squid helped her to her feet. She smiled. "I love you Alan."

"I love you too," he replied as they headed back to Kayla's car.

//I'm Ok//

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Charm: I toldya it was graphic. Atleast one of the most graphic things I've written I think.

Squid: Omg.. That as just depressing.

Charm: Yeah so I need something to make me laugh now... Hmmm OOOO! ZIGGY!!!

Zig: What?

Charm: *gives him a lighter* HERE!

Zig: @.@ LIGHTER! BURN BURN BURN! BURNINESS!!! WOOHOO! *goes to set random things like my high school on fire (YAY)*

Charm: Yep that helped! ^^ REVIEW! THANX!