In the Bedroom
The silence of the people surrounding Buffy was broken buy the high pitch yells of the ambulance sirens. Angel rushed out the door, Buffy still unconscious in his arms. His heart was beating a 1000 miles a minute, worried, confused, and shocked at what went down at the Bronze. Suddenly Angel's self examination was interrupted by two paramedics coming his way.
"Sir, we need to get the girl to the hospital, can you please hand us the girl sir!" Angel was in a trance, not knowing if this was all just a cruel joke. Then Xander's hand clasped his shoulder.
"C'mon man, you have to give them Buffy or she could die, please Angel let her go!" Xander didn't know how to approach the situation.
"What if she wakes up and I am not there.. or worse what if she doesn't!" Angel quickly forced Buffy's petite body into their arms and hopped in the ambulance. Several hospital attendants were trying to get him out of the ambulance so that they would have room to work on her but Angel O'Connor didn't budge, he was abandoning his future wife.again.
Willow gently rested her arm on the paramedic, " Please let him stay, that's Buffy's family, he is her best friend and boyfriend. Please just let him stay."
"All right miss we will let him stay but you too have to ride in your own cars there is no more room in the ambulance!" Willow shook her head in compliance and grabbed Xander by the arm leading him to the car. The ride was quiet. Too quiet for Willow. She knew this wasn't something you put balloons up for and dance around but she had to lighten the mood somehow.
"Buffy would freak if she had seen herself with no make-up on!" Willow chuckleed uneasily waiting for Xander to reply.
"That wasn't funny Willow don't do that again please." Xander's face was straight and emotionless. I guess this hit the guys more than it hit here. She felt guilty for that.
Willow started to whimper a bit, "Xander I am so sorry, I know it was stupid but I have never felt like this before, I feel nervous and shaky like everything is wrong and I can't fix it with my books! And Buffy was finally getting everything and she now this! I can't take this Xander, I am 16 I am not supposed to have to deal with death."
"Willow oh God Willow I am sorry," He pulled her into an embrace as she pulled over onto a side road. "Will I know how you feel, it's tearing me up inside. But Buffy isn't dead, we don't know what is wrong with her but there is still hope right?" He needed assurance from the smartest girl at school to believe it.
"Right." She straightened up and drew her pink fuzzy sleeve to wipe away the tears. "I guess we should be there for Buffy when she wakes up?"
"Good idea!" Xander hugged Willow one last time and Willow pulled onto the road. Full speed ahead to Sunnydale hospital.
When they got to the hospital Angel was in the waiting room, hugging Joyce in a tight firm hug and Dawnie was sitting on his lap looking at her mother cry a bit. Angel tried to be their rock but cracked and began to cry too. Willow rushed over thinking she could take over for Angel, letting Joyce cry on her shoulder. Xander scooped up Dawn, and looked at Angel for answers. But from his eyes, there were none. Suddenly the doctor stepped out of room 103 and headed in their direction. Angel was the first to reach him but not first to here the new.
"Buffy is fine, she will have to stay here over night and the rest is up to you joyce. Right now she is resting and we are not permitting visitors until tomorrow so I suggest you all go home. Joyce I need a word with you. Alone." Joyce looked confused, Angel held her by the shoulder.
"Mrs.Summers Dawn come to my house I will look after her with mr.Giles." He said understanding.
"Thank-you Angel and if anything happens I will update you!" With the nod of his head, he picked up a sleeping Dawn and walked slowly out the exit door.
"This way Mrs.Summers." The doctor led her into Buffy's room where Buffy started to wake up. Joyce Ran to her side stroking her hair and smiling that she was all right.
"Mommy? Where am I? What happened? Where is Angel?" Buffy looked confused and tried to sit up but was too weak to do so, so she flopped back down with the help of her mother.
"Buffy," The doctor sounded serious, " Do you remember anything that happened tonight and before you went out?"
Buffy looked up and nodded, " Yes, I, I, remember I was getting ready for my date with Angel," Her mother smiled, "Yes mom, we are dating now!" Her mother grinned at her, she suspected as much. "Anyways, I remember I was feeling sick, I vomited before I left and felt a bit dizzy but was fine the whole night. Why? What's wrong with me?"
The doctor looked regrettively in her young eyes, " Buffy I don't know how to tell you this.." But was suddenly interrupted by Joyce.
"Buffy are you pregnant? Tell me the truth? Morning sickness vomiting! Buffy tell me right now!"
"Mom I.." But the doctor once again interrupted her.
"Mrs. Summers your daughter has terminal cancer, she has had for at least a week now and it's continuing to grow, its usually due to stress, and often hereditary there is not much of a chance that she will live, 3 months tops. I am sorry truly. I will leave you too alone." He blurted it all out and didn't look back Buffy always wondered how they could tell people they were dying with little to no emotions. And now she was one of them, the patients that got tossed aside that were too impossible. Things that only happened to other people and not me. Those are the lies I told myself.
Joyce crumpled down on the floor, weeping, Buffy just stared at the wall concentrating on one tile afraid to breakdown if she thought about her life with her friends, family and Angel. It wasn't too long till she finally drifted to sleep and the next morning would discuss her very short future. Her mother was up watching her sleep. So when she woke up she was startled to see her mother peering over at her as if it was the last time she would ever see her.
" Ak! Mom! What are you doing!" She clung the blanket more tightly to herself.
"Sorry sweetheart, I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Her mother shrugged. She went over that Buffy should live her "remaining days like she always did. Carry on with her normal life. What her mom didn't know was that she wasn't exactly, "normal" Her mother convinced her to tell Willow and Xander but she couldn't convince her to tell Angel she said it would break his heart if she did tell him and it would just be too hard. She was secretly plotting to keep Angel away for his and her benefit. Joyce stepped out of the room and led Willow and Xander into her room keeping Angel Company. At first Angel was a bit hurt that she hadn't wanted to see him first but realized she could be saving the best for last. After Buffy told Will and Xand her news, the trio embraced and shared many tears. Buffy herself couldn't keep it together. Xander was angry and Willow was just shocked. Buffy warned them not to tell Angel despite their desire to convince her otherwise. Before they went out she made them wipe their tears so Angel wouldn't suspect anything.
"Angel it's you turn," Angel smiled a bit and handed Dawn over to Joyce.
"Hey there beautiful," Angel came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Buffy smiled weakly then laughed a bit.
"Oh yeah I am sure seeing my hair all sweaty, and my skin pale without cosmetics is really beautiful, unless you are into that sorta thing," Buffy made a face and Angel laughed. It was still his Buffy in there.
" We aren't much for first dates are we?" Angel asked.
" I suppose we aren't" She smiled knowing she would have to end it soon.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Angel was itching to know what was wrong with his beloved.
"It's nothing really some sort of flu. I have been really weak lately."
"Oh your, you know.." Angel just made gestures. He was refereing to the conversation they had when Buffy turned 13 and she got the painters in' code word for becoming a woman!
"No! (she looked embarassed) Just physically tired. It's nothing to worry yourself about." She smiled weakly, oh yes it was. She was the slayer, invincible but in the end it will be the worst demon of all to kill her. Cancer. It wasn't fair that she finally got him and she woud be taken away! She started to cry without realizing it. Angel rushed to her side but she knew she would have to push him away.
"I am fine Angel, something in my eye, you know how it is! I really think you should go to L.A I mean there isn't much here for you and you could do a lot better there" Angel looked at her aghast.
" Where in the hell did that come from?" Buffy looked down. "Angel please I am really tired I need to rest."
"Alrite but there is no way in hell I am leaving you when you feel so crummy." he left dropping a bouquet of white lillies. Her favorite. Buffy looked down at her ring that Angel gave her, she would never get wear the engagement one. She flicked off the lights as Dawn and her mom entered. Dawn crawled into bed with Buffy. That was enough to comfort her thought Buffy, but Angel's kisses would be better.
After the first month Angel came by casually never expecting Buffy to get into their relationship right away. She was moved to her house and only her family and friends knew the truth about her weak state. Angel was always asking her how come she wasn;t better yet but she couldn't tell him it was to hard. That night Buffy sat in her room, it was the night she told Angel she didn't want to see him anymore. He took it roughly, he even smashed a vase and left but what hurt most was what he said. He told her that she had changed she wasn't who he wanted to love anymore and asked for the promise ring back. Buffy cried that night harder than she had every cried in all of her life. She turned on the radio to only make her feel worse when she listened to the lyrics of the song.
Michelle Branch- are you happy now
Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know there's just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care... yeah, yeah, yeah
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah,
Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you really have everything you want?
You could never give somethin' you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself
Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?
Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I've had that all I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I'm happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?
And that's when it came to her. She wasn't happy now that she had pushed Angel away. She was worse. The hardest thing in her life will to leave Angel and she wanted him with her during her remaining days. She was up all night pitying her self ad made a vow that she wouldn't spend her days wallowing in her bedroom thinking about what she was going to miss because she missed enough in her bedroom.
The silence of the people surrounding Buffy was broken buy the high pitch yells of the ambulance sirens. Angel rushed out the door, Buffy still unconscious in his arms. His heart was beating a 1000 miles a minute, worried, confused, and shocked at what went down at the Bronze. Suddenly Angel's self examination was interrupted by two paramedics coming his way.
"Sir, we need to get the girl to the hospital, can you please hand us the girl sir!" Angel was in a trance, not knowing if this was all just a cruel joke. Then Xander's hand clasped his shoulder.
"C'mon man, you have to give them Buffy or she could die, please Angel let her go!" Xander didn't know how to approach the situation.
"What if she wakes up and I am not there.. or worse what if she doesn't!" Angel quickly forced Buffy's petite body into their arms and hopped in the ambulance. Several hospital attendants were trying to get him out of the ambulance so that they would have room to work on her but Angel O'Connor didn't budge, he was abandoning his future wife.again.
Willow gently rested her arm on the paramedic, " Please let him stay, that's Buffy's family, he is her best friend and boyfriend. Please just let him stay."
"All right miss we will let him stay but you too have to ride in your own cars there is no more room in the ambulance!" Willow shook her head in compliance and grabbed Xander by the arm leading him to the car. The ride was quiet. Too quiet for Willow. She knew this wasn't something you put balloons up for and dance around but she had to lighten the mood somehow.
"Buffy would freak if she had seen herself with no make-up on!" Willow chuckleed uneasily waiting for Xander to reply.
"That wasn't funny Willow don't do that again please." Xander's face was straight and emotionless. I guess this hit the guys more than it hit here. She felt guilty for that.
Willow started to whimper a bit, "Xander I am so sorry, I know it was stupid but I have never felt like this before, I feel nervous and shaky like everything is wrong and I can't fix it with my books! And Buffy was finally getting everything and she now this! I can't take this Xander, I am 16 I am not supposed to have to deal with death."
"Willow oh God Willow I am sorry," He pulled her into an embrace as she pulled over onto a side road. "Will I know how you feel, it's tearing me up inside. But Buffy isn't dead, we don't know what is wrong with her but there is still hope right?" He needed assurance from the smartest girl at school to believe it.
"Right." She straightened up and drew her pink fuzzy sleeve to wipe away the tears. "I guess we should be there for Buffy when she wakes up?"
"Good idea!" Xander hugged Willow one last time and Willow pulled onto the road. Full speed ahead to Sunnydale hospital.
When they got to the hospital Angel was in the waiting room, hugging Joyce in a tight firm hug and Dawnie was sitting on his lap looking at her mother cry a bit. Angel tried to be their rock but cracked and began to cry too. Willow rushed over thinking she could take over for Angel, letting Joyce cry on her shoulder. Xander scooped up Dawn, and looked at Angel for answers. But from his eyes, there were none. Suddenly the doctor stepped out of room 103 and headed in their direction. Angel was the first to reach him but not first to here the new.
"Buffy is fine, she will have to stay here over night and the rest is up to you joyce. Right now she is resting and we are not permitting visitors until tomorrow so I suggest you all go home. Joyce I need a word with you. Alone." Joyce looked confused, Angel held her by the shoulder.
"Mrs.Summers Dawn come to my house I will look after her with mr.Giles." He said understanding.
"Thank-you Angel and if anything happens I will update you!" With the nod of his head, he picked up a sleeping Dawn and walked slowly out the exit door.
"This way Mrs.Summers." The doctor led her into Buffy's room where Buffy started to wake up. Joyce Ran to her side stroking her hair and smiling that she was all right.
"Mommy? Where am I? What happened? Where is Angel?" Buffy looked confused and tried to sit up but was too weak to do so, so she flopped back down with the help of her mother.
"Buffy," The doctor sounded serious, " Do you remember anything that happened tonight and before you went out?"
Buffy looked up and nodded, " Yes, I, I, remember I was getting ready for my date with Angel," Her mother smiled, "Yes mom, we are dating now!" Her mother grinned at her, she suspected as much. "Anyways, I remember I was feeling sick, I vomited before I left and felt a bit dizzy but was fine the whole night. Why? What's wrong with me?"
The doctor looked regrettively in her young eyes, " Buffy I don't know how to tell you this.." But was suddenly interrupted by Joyce.
"Buffy are you pregnant? Tell me the truth? Morning sickness vomiting! Buffy tell me right now!"
"Mom I.." But the doctor once again interrupted her.
"Mrs. Summers your daughter has terminal cancer, she has had for at least a week now and it's continuing to grow, its usually due to stress, and often hereditary there is not much of a chance that she will live, 3 months tops. I am sorry truly. I will leave you too alone." He blurted it all out and didn't look back Buffy always wondered how they could tell people they were dying with little to no emotions. And now she was one of them, the patients that got tossed aside that were too impossible. Things that only happened to other people and not me. Those are the lies I told myself.
Joyce crumpled down on the floor, weeping, Buffy just stared at the wall concentrating on one tile afraid to breakdown if she thought about her life with her friends, family and Angel. It wasn't too long till she finally drifted to sleep and the next morning would discuss her very short future. Her mother was up watching her sleep. So when she woke up she was startled to see her mother peering over at her as if it was the last time she would ever see her.
" Ak! Mom! What are you doing!" She clung the blanket more tightly to herself.
"Sorry sweetheart, I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Her mother shrugged. She went over that Buffy should live her "remaining days like she always did. Carry on with her normal life. What her mom didn't know was that she wasn't exactly, "normal" Her mother convinced her to tell Willow and Xander but she couldn't convince her to tell Angel she said it would break his heart if she did tell him and it would just be too hard. She was secretly plotting to keep Angel away for his and her benefit. Joyce stepped out of the room and led Willow and Xander into her room keeping Angel Company. At first Angel was a bit hurt that she hadn't wanted to see him first but realized she could be saving the best for last. After Buffy told Will and Xand her news, the trio embraced and shared many tears. Buffy herself couldn't keep it together. Xander was angry and Willow was just shocked. Buffy warned them not to tell Angel despite their desire to convince her otherwise. Before they went out she made them wipe their tears so Angel wouldn't suspect anything.
"Angel it's you turn," Angel smiled a bit and handed Dawn over to Joyce.
"Hey there beautiful," Angel came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Buffy smiled weakly then laughed a bit.
"Oh yeah I am sure seeing my hair all sweaty, and my skin pale without cosmetics is really beautiful, unless you are into that sorta thing," Buffy made a face and Angel laughed. It was still his Buffy in there.
" We aren't much for first dates are we?" Angel asked.
" I suppose we aren't" She smiled knowing she would have to end it soon.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Angel was itching to know what was wrong with his beloved.
"It's nothing really some sort of flu. I have been really weak lately."
"Oh your, you know.." Angel just made gestures. He was refereing to the conversation they had when Buffy turned 13 and she got the painters in' code word for becoming a woman!
"No! (she looked embarassed) Just physically tired. It's nothing to worry yourself about." She smiled weakly, oh yes it was. She was the slayer, invincible but in the end it will be the worst demon of all to kill her. Cancer. It wasn't fair that she finally got him and she woud be taken away! She started to cry without realizing it. Angel rushed to her side but she knew she would have to push him away.
"I am fine Angel, something in my eye, you know how it is! I really think you should go to L.A I mean there isn't much here for you and you could do a lot better there" Angel looked at her aghast.
" Where in the hell did that come from?" Buffy looked down. "Angel please I am really tired I need to rest."
"Alrite but there is no way in hell I am leaving you when you feel so crummy." he left dropping a bouquet of white lillies. Her favorite. Buffy looked down at her ring that Angel gave her, she would never get wear the engagement one. She flicked off the lights as Dawn and her mom entered. Dawn crawled into bed with Buffy. That was enough to comfort her thought Buffy, but Angel's kisses would be better.
After the first month Angel came by casually never expecting Buffy to get into their relationship right away. She was moved to her house and only her family and friends knew the truth about her weak state. Angel was always asking her how come she wasn;t better yet but she couldn't tell him it was to hard. That night Buffy sat in her room, it was the night she told Angel she didn't want to see him anymore. He took it roughly, he even smashed a vase and left but what hurt most was what he said. He told her that she had changed she wasn't who he wanted to love anymore and asked for the promise ring back. Buffy cried that night harder than she had every cried in all of her life. She turned on the radio to only make her feel worse when she listened to the lyrics of the song.
Michelle Branch- are you happy now
Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know there's just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care... yeah, yeah, yeah
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah,
Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you really have everything you want?
You could never give somethin' you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself
Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?
Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I've had that all I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I'm happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?
And that's when it came to her. She wasn't happy now that she had pushed Angel away. She was worse. The hardest thing in her life will to leave Angel and she wanted him with her during her remaining days. She was up all night pitying her self ad made a vow that she wouldn't spend her days wallowing in her bedroom thinking about what she was going to miss because she missed enough in her bedroom.