I'm ba-ack! Here's your next chapter for being so nice in your reveiws. I appreciate every single one of them! Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, I've got nothing interesting to say here today. My brains's taking a break.

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Speedo!

Chapter 3: The Shopping Trip From Hell

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Kagome was surprised. Getting her friends into the car proved to be less of a hassle than getting them dressed. It helped that Inuyasha had seen a car before because all he had to do was pick up the resistors, Miroku and Sango, throw them into the car and quickly shut the door. And since neither Miroku nor Sango knew how the door worked they were stuck. And then all Kagome had to do was threaten to not take them to the party which worked wonderfully. The whole trip to the mall not a word was heard from Miroku or Sango. Once they got to the mall Kagome's mom stopped the van so they could pile out.

"So what time should I be back to pick you guys up?" she asked, turning to look at her daughter.

"Oh, an hour oughta cut it," replied Kagome. Right after she said that she happened to glance at her friends. Sango was cautiously poking the van window, Miroku was playing with the windshield wipers, and Inuyasha looked like he was about to give Miroku a wedgie. "You know what, you better make that two hours."

"Alright dear, have fun and good luck!" replied her mom before speeding out of the mall parking lot.

"Oh yeah, thanks a lot," grumbled Kagome. An ear-piercing shriek then broke through the air. Kagome turned to see Miroku pulling his pants down while Inuyasha and Sango rolled on the ground in laughter.

"Why me? Does no one want me to have kids?" whimpered Miroku, gingerly rubbing his crotch.

"Um Miroku? Please don't do that in public," Kagome said quickly.

"Why? It hurts!"

"You just don't do that."

Miroku painfully sighed but did as Kagome requested. Inuyasha and Sango also picked themselves off the ground.

"Can we get you guys your bathing suits now?" asked Kagome, placing her hands on her hips and looking annoyed. When her friends nodded she stomped over to the mall doors and opened one. When her friends reached the door she slammed it in their faces.

"Um Kagome?" ventured Sango. "Don't we need to go in there?"

"Of course," said Kagome, "but he can't go in like that."

Everyone followed her gaze to Inuyasha's ears. Inuyasha looked hesitantly at Kagome. "What do you plan on doing?" he asked nervously.

For an answer Kagome withdrew the pair of scissors she snagged from Sota's room. Inuyasha's face paled and he covered his ears with his hands. "You can't cut them off! They're mine! Mine!" he screeched.

Miroku cracked up at the distraught hanyou. At Inuyasha's glare Miroku explained himself. "You sound exactly like I did when Kagome brought the scissors out when the zipper attacked me. It's kind of weird. My favorite body part is well you know. I won't say it for fear of Sango hitting me. While your favorite body part are your ears. Isn't that kind of lame Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha swiped at Miroku with one hand. Miroku easily sidestepped it. "They're not my favorite body part! But that doesn't mean I'll allow them to get cut off!"

Now Kagome laughed. "Wow, you are very easily scared, you know that Inuyasha? Do you honestly think I would cut your ears off?" she asked.

"Maybe. Especially when you're doing that PMS thingy," he grumbled in reply.

Kagome figured it wouldn't be wise to murder Inuyasha in the mall parking lot so she instead pulled out of her other pocket a bandana. "Lower your head you idiot. I need to put this on."

Inuyasha stared at the bandana, a worried look on his face. "Will it hurt?" he asked.

"Lower your damn head. Now," said Kagome for an answer. "Or I'll say it."

That got Inuyasha to lower his head. Kagome swiftly tied the bandana around his head. She opened the door again. "Everyone inside," she ordered.

Everyone scampered into the mall and Inuyasha immediately covered his nose.

"Kagome, it stinks in here!" he complained.

"Oh well, deal with it," she replied before walking off. She turned around once to look at her friends. "Are you gonna follow me or stand there and look like idiots?"

As they caught up to Kagome Sango mumbled under her breath, "I wonder what's pissing Kagome off today?"

Miroku was about to respond when he discovered they had caught up to the girl in question. He logically decided to keep his comments to himself as he could almost see the steam pouring out of Kagome's ears.

The walk to the store was uneventful. Sango only had to hit Miroku three times for stopping to stare at girls. Once they got to the store, which was just some random department store that sold bathing suits, Kagome walked immediately to the men's section. She went to the bathing suit section and then stopped. She turned to face her friends and was surprised to see that Sango's face had gone pale.

"Sango what's wrong?" she asked.

"I can't wear those! They don't cover my chest!"

"Ooh Kagome, I like these bathing suits," remarked Miroku.

Kagome punched Miroku before comforting her friend. "Sango, we are in the men's section. These are the bathing suits for Inuyasha and Miroku. Our section is in another part of the store."

The color slowly returned to Sango's face and she gave a big sigh of relief. "Good, for a second there I thought I was a goner."

"My dear Sango, you may still wear one of these if you'd like."

This time Sango punched the monk. Before Sango could get around to murdering him Kagome quickly threw some money into Inuyasha's hand and dragged Sango away from the boys.

"Buy your and Miroku's swimsuits and then go to the food court. We'll meet you there."

"Where's the food court?" Inuyasha shouted after Kagome.

"It's the place you said smelled the worse!"

"Oh damn, not that hell hole again," he sighed, turning to Miroku. "Let's get this over with. Start looking for one you'd like," he growled.

"Aye aye Captain!" replied Miroku, giving Inuyasha a mock salute.

"You dummy, just start looking."

Miroku and Inuyasha spent the next ten minutes searching through the racks of swimsuits. Miroku eventually made his way over to a rack that was labeled "SPEEDO." Those garments appeared interesting to him so he called Inuyasha over.

"Hey Inuyasha, are these also swimsuits?"

"How the hell would I know. Why? You want one?"

"I don't know. Do girls like these?" Miroku pondered.

"Maybe. I've never exactly asked though."

"I think they would. After all, it does show off what I have to offer. What girl wouldn't want to see that?"

"I don't know. I guess it depends on if it would be flattering or embarrassing to show it off."

"Of course it would be flattering!"

"How do you know?" asked Inuyasha.

"Because I just do. So do you think I should get it?"

"I don't care. Do what you want." Inuyasha walked off and went back to the swimming trunks rack.

Miroku appeared to be in deep thought before finally grabbing a dark purple speedo. 'Wait til Sango sees me in this!'

Inuyasha looked around until he settles on a red pair of swimming trunks and then he met back up with Miroku. When he saw Miroku's choice of color he raised an eyebrow. "Purple? Isn't that sort of girly?"

"Hey, purple is my favorite color! And you're not much better. Red isn't exactly manly," shot back Miroku, clutching his speedo protectively.

"Feh, red is better than purple. And relax, I'm not gonna take it from you."

Miroku slightly relaxed his grip on his speedo and then looked around. "Hey Inuyasha? Where do we buy these things at?"

Inuyasha joined his friend in search, his face slowly plummeting. "Shit."

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"Hey Kagome do you think it was wise to leave the boys by themselves?" asked Sango as she searched for a swimsuit that covered more than 3% of her body.

"If we stayed there Miroku would be dead right now and you would be wanted for murder," Kagome casually replied, searching through the swimsuit that covered 3% of her body.

"Oh. I guess when you put it that way it makes sense."

"Of course it does. Besides, would you want Miroku in this section?"

"Another good point." Sango then growled in annoyance. "Kagome are there any less revealing bathing suits?"

Kerugma turned to her friend and couldn't help smiling. "Yes there are Sango. You see you have to look on the one-piece rack. You are currently searching through the two-piece rack."

Sango's face turned bright red and she quickly went to the one-piece rack. "That sounds logical," she mumbled.

Twenty minutes later both of them had picked out five bathing suits to try on. They went into the fitting rooms and proceeded to try them on. After each of them had one on they would open the doors and critique each other. Which is why it took another twenty minutes for them to try on the swimsuits. When they were finally done they picked out their favorite. Sango's was a simple dark green one-piece. The straps crisscrossed in the back but other than that it was simple. Kagome had picked out a blue bikini with a pattern of white Hawaiian flowers. The sides of the bottom piece were tied together and the top was tied in the back behind her neck.

"Oh wow Kagome, Inuyasha is going to love you in that!" gushed Sango.

Kagome looked down at the bikini she was holding in her hand. "You think?"

"How could he not? You'll be showing off most of your body. Plus you look really good in it."

"Thanks Sango. And I also feel sorry for you because Miroku will be all over you."

"Oh man, I sure hope not! Hopefully you'll take all of his attention!" replied Sango.

"No, don't say that! Miroku is all yours!" laughed Kagome.

"Thanks. Thanks a lot," Sango sarcastically replied.

Laughing the two girls made their way to the cashier. Once there Kagome bought the swimsuits and then she and Sango walked to the food court. They were surprised to see that the boys hadn't shown up yet. They found an empty table and sat down.

"Do you think they're ok?" asked Sango a little worriedly. "Shouldn't they have been done by now?"

"I would think so. Well maybe they're just really picky," replied Kagome, tapping her foot anxiously. The girls waited for another ten minutes.

Sango looked around the food court but still couldn't see Inuyasha or Miroku. "Do you think one of us should go search for them?" she wondered.

"Maybe…there they are! Inuyasha! Miroku! Over here!" shouted Kagome waving her arms in the air. The two boys made their way to the table and plopped down on the empty chairs.

"Kagome, I'm never going shopping again," groaned Inuyasha.

"Neither am I," agreed Miroku with a sigh.

"What happened?" asked Kagome, wondering what kind of mess they got into this time.

"You never told us where to buy the damn swimsuits at! We wondered around the store forever trying to find where to buy them!" exclaimed Inuyasha, looking extremely pissed.

"Wait. You mean to tell me that the big signs over the cashiers that said 'Check Out' didn't ring a bell?"

"No, they made sense to me," replied Miroku, rubbing the back of his head thoughtfully. "But when we went there they were all men. Why would I want to check out a man?"

Both Kagome and Sango slammed their heads on the table.

"Did I say something wrong?" mused Miroku.

"Beats me," replied Inuyasha.

Kagome and Sango lifted their heads off the table. They glanced at each other, stood up, and grabbed Inuyasha and Miroku's hair. They dragged them out of the mall paying no attention to the odd looks they received.

"Ow! Damn wench! What the hell was that for?" growled Inuyasha once they were outside.

"For being you," came the response.

"And what was you reason Sango? groaned Miroku, gently rubbing his sore head.

"Same reason."

"Oh well ok then. Thanks for the grand explanations," replied Inuyasha, sending a murderous look in Kagome's general direction. She chose to ignore it, instead opting to look for her mom's van. She didn't have to wait long as her mom pulled up five minutes later.

"Find what you needed?" asked Kagome's mom as they piled into the van.

"Yes," answered Kagome tiredly.

"Have fun?"

"NO!" was shouted by four people which caused Kagome's mom to suddenly swerve from surprise. Miroku and Sango clutched their seats looking terrified out of their minds. Kagome could catch snippets of a prayer Miroku was muttering under his breath. Needless to say the rest of the trip home was silent.

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Gotta love Miroku. Well next chapter will be the last one. This trip through the demented regions of my mind has to come to an end. But the next chapter will be really really long. The longest chapter I've ever written. I think it's about 13 pages. That's long. But that's because it will be the moment we've all been waiting for-the party! So make sure you review so you can later tune it for the concluding chapter of this…story. Yes, I'm grasping at straws when I call it a story. I'm not quite sure what it should be called. I'll create a new word for it. At some other time. Later!

Just some answers to a couple questions that were asked:

makeyourselfduo: No, you're not insane. If I say or spell something over and over again I either think it sounds funny or looks funny. Or maybe we're just both insane.

mirokuluver: Aww, how am I torturing you? But if I am torturing you that's also cool. : )