"…in this room

the hours of love

still make shadows.

when you left

you took almost

everything.

I kneel in the nights

before tigers

that will not let me be…"

--Charles Bukowski

Andy spots his son outside, sitting cross-legged in the grass, smoking when he arrives home from work. Nina has been nice enough to take him to his therapist's today so he could catch up on some work at the clinic. Ephram is still withdrawn, but he has been making more of an effort to communicate. Andy still notices that his attention is usually elsewhere, on his invisible mother.

"Ephram. I'm inside if you need me," Andy calls into the backyard. Ephram acknowledges him with a slight wave.

Ephram is feeling worse today than any other day since his release from the hospital. The therapist spent the majority of the session today telling him how much he had improved. Ephram doesn't think he has improved at all. If anything, the vision of his mother is becoming more determined to invade his life.

"Useless. You're not worth the blood in your veins. I'm ashamed of you. Not going to school. You just sit here and wallow in your misery. You're crazy…" His mother whispers.

"I'm not crazy," Ephram mutters aloud, taking a long drag off his cigarette.

"Crazy. That's exactly what you are. Insane. You're not sane," She snarls.

"What do I have to do to get you to shut up?" Ephram asks, looking at his mother. He looks into her rage-filled eyes, trying to ignore her bloodstained apparition.

"I'll always be with you, Ephram. Watching you, telling you the way it should be. That's what a mother is for…"

"You're not my mother."

"Yes, I am." She rolls her dead eyes at him. "I don't expect you to understand, you're too stupid…too crazy…"

"Fuck you," Ephram replies, staring off into the distance again as he lights a fresh cigarette to add to the small pile of used butts.

"You're not talking to me, are you?" Colin's voice startles him. He sits down beside Ephram.

In the last few days, Ephram has called Amy and Colin daily for short conversations but has discouraged them coming by.

"Nah. School's out already?"

"It's like five o'clock, dude. Amy doesn't know I'm here," Colin says, staring off in the direction that Ephram is looking at.

"Really? Why the social call?"

"I wanted to see you. See how you were, instead of just talking to you. You look healthier, Eph, but…you're still not okay," Colin replies.

""Cause I'm smoking?" Ephram asks.

"No, because you're still…it's still bothering you. Whatever's pulling you into the dark place is still there, isn't it?" Colin asks.

"The dark place?" Ephram laughs, dryly.

"That's what Bright calls it. Like you're a Jedi or something getting called over to the Dark Side," Colin smiles.

"I guess that works," Ephram replies, quietly.

"Is the therapy helping anymore?" Colin questions.

Ephram shakes his head slowly. "It never really helped. The problem…it's not going away…"

Colin waits patiently for him to continue.

"I'm crazy, Colin," Ephram states.

"You're not crazy," Colin remarks.

"You're crazy. Insane. Out of your mind and out of control," She hisses.

"Oh, I'm crazy alright. Demented. They think I'm probably schizophrenic…" Ephram sighs.

"Schizophrenic? Ephram?" Colin asks, surprised.

"I see her, Colin. I hear her. All the time, everywhere. She's there…"

"Who, Ephram?" Colin asks, confused.

"My mother. She died a year ago, Colin, but…she talks to me…" Ephram doesn't meet his friend's eyes as he confesses. "The things she says…my mother would never say such things to me…she loved me…"

"I never loved you, Ephram, you were too much of a disappointment. I kept waiting for you to do something worthwhile, but you continue to let me down…" His mother's ghost mutters.

Ephram takes a desperate drag off his cigarette as he continues. "I've done everything that the doctors have told me to do. I've followed all their advice but…I still see her, Colin. I hear her. I know she's not real, I mean, I'm not mentally deficient or anything, I know she's not real, but…"

"She's real to you, Ephram. I mean, fuck what the doctors tell you, if you see her…then she must…" Colin struggles to find words.

"She's not real, Colin. She's in my imagination…"

"Do you see her now? I mean, is she here, now?" Colin asks, seriously. Ephram's gaze flickers to his mom's form standing behind him. "Whoa. Damn, Ephram."

"I…I just don't know anything anymore. I'm out of options. I'm not getting better. I'm stuck…like this…nuts…" Ephram mutters.

"Ephram. You're not nuts. You're just having a bad time right now. I…you have to get better…" Colin replies, trying to raise his friend's spirits. "You can't…you don't want to die, Ephram…"

"I just want it to stop…I just need her to go away…I don't know how much longer I can take this…it's like I'm in hell…" Ephram states.

"I've heard Everwood called worse, Ephram," Colin jokes, quietly.

"Really?" Ephram smiles slightly.

"I don't know what to tell you, Ephram. You're not crazy, man. I don't know what you're going through, okay? But I know what its like to wake up every day and have nothing make sense. Nothing anybody says means anything because they don't understand. It's like hell and you're all alone…"

"I'm not alone, Colin. I could handle being alone. She's there." Ephram locks eyes with his mother.

"Ephram," Colin sighs.

"Thanks, Colin. For coming by. It means a lot," Ephram says.

"You're sitting around here all day, Ephram, thinking about this. Maybe you need to not think about it a little," Colin suggests.

"I tried that. I'm tired of drinking," Ephram mutters.

"I mean, get out for a while. Play basketball…" Colin smiles at Ephram's glare. "Or the piano or something…so you won't have to listen to her."

Ephram appreciates Colin not making fun or ignoring his mother's presence. "Maybe."

"I'll accept maybe," Colin nods. "Think about it."
"I will."

"Well, I have to go meet Amy and Bright," Colin says. "You want to come with?"

"Not today. But thanks. Maybe I'll have a good day soon. Tell Amy and Bright I said hello."

Colin leaves Ephram in the backyard, but he stops in the kitchen. "Dr. Brown?"

"Yes, Colin?"

"Ephram seems better, but he's still sick. He still sees her." Colin shuffles his feet. "I just don't know if he's talking to you and…I think you should know."
"I know he still sees her. I'm just taking it slowly." Andy sighs. "What do you think I should do?"

"I don't know. I offered to take him out, to get him distracted and he said he'd think about it. That's a start."

"Thank you, Colin. It helps that you came." Andy smiles.