Thanks to:
Oceanbang – A New Recruit pairing next chapter!
Southern Goth Gal – Pietro has a lovely singing voice too… Bet Buckethead's unhappy!
Furygrrl – always glad to make Jean and Scott be less prissy. And Tabby's totally bendy – saw it on 'Cruise Control! J
Holly Potter – Pietro sends his apologies for not appearing in this chapter, but he's on his way to your place right now to return your candy canes! Have him back in good condition in time for the next chapter please!
Human Lightshow – Evil Storm decreed no cure 'til she gets a song, so more insanity to come…heh heh heh!
Steph14Wales – Scott and Tabby is freaky – but it's gonna get weirder still! Hahaha!
Rift – I didn't think of doing a whole fic with Logan/Wanda, but now that you mention it, I could do something with that…
DemonRogue13 – I used your idea in this chapter too! Enjoy!
Maiden Genisis – Is this update fast enough? Two minutes after I got your review, not bad eh?
Author Note: I've changed the format from script style by popular demand, although songs will still be in script. I've redone the other chapters to fit in with this.
WARNING! If you are easily offended, the song within contains some lyrics that may piss you off. Please just choose not to read rather than reading then flaming.
Disclaimer: I don't own. And if you're offended, you were warned!
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Kitty went outside and sat under a tree rather than watch the display in the Professors office. On top of the nausea from watching Wanda and Logan, she couldn't believe that Jean was seeing her ex-boyfriend. Not that she still wanted him, but it would be nice if Jean had shown some sisterly solidarity.
She was startled when she heard a voice from the tree above.
Toad's voice floated down. "What's up yo?"
Kitty sighed. "I just can't believe that Lance and Jean are dating."
"Tell me about it." Toad leapt out of the tree and sat beside her. "The girl I love's in there swapping spit with Wolverine."
"Wouldn't it be nice if we could solve both our problems?"
Toad looked thoughtful. "There is one way…"
Kitty frowned at him. "What?"
Toad: If I had your number
I'd call you on the phone
I'd breathe a little heavy…
Maybe I'd start to groan
"Toad! That's disgusting!"
Toad: I don't love you
I'm just a horny Toad
I don't want your money
'Cause I got all I need…
"But you'd steal it if you could."
Toad: All I want is to rub your body until you start to bleed…
"EEEEEEWWW!! What kind of sick pervert are you!?"
Toad: I don't love you
I'm just a horny Toad
If I had your address
I'd come right to your door…
"Uh, Toad, you do have my address."
Toad: I'd knock all day 'til you let me in and then I'd knock some more…
"Ugh! Toad, that is NASTY."
Toad: I don't love you
I'm just a horny Toad
If you think I'm nasty
You ain't seen nothing yet
You see
I'm the kinda brother that the more you scream the nastier I get
I can't help it
I'm just a horny Toad
Now watch me dance!
Kitty watched in disbelief as Todd attempted to do a sexy dance. Surely he wasn't suggesting what she thought he was…
Toad: Run and tell your boyfriend
His loving has got you bored
Might as well pack his things and get his bad ass on the road
Coz you're livin on a lily pad
With a horny Toad…
Toad stopped his singing and dancing suddenly and looked vaguely ashamed. "Uh, sorry. Don't know what came over me."
"I should think you are sorry. That was rude!"
"Yeah."
"Still…"
"Yeah?"
"It would show those two a few things…"
"Yeah!"
"I am so gonna regret this…"
"So let's hurry before you change your mind!" Toad scooped her up in his arms and they bounced off into the sunset together.
Song was 'Horny Toad' by Prince/The Artist Formerly Known As Prince/ Bizarre Symbol Dude.