Thanks to:

DemonRogue13 – Sorry I didn't get your review for chapter 15 until I'd posted! Glad you approve of the Evan-torture.

Demon Maiden – I didn't get your review for chapter 15 'til I'd posted either – mail problems, grrr! Glad you liked it, although it's not Storm and Beast.

Steph14Wales – Writing Pyro is great fun! Now I know why you like writing Pyro fics. "Daniels is having a breakdown!" was my fave line!

Arikitten – it's been hard trying to think of girls…but my brain has spat up a couple of candidates, each one more disturbing than the last. Scary, no?

Bobtheheadlesschicken – I know the feeling, a girl with my name was in one episode of Evo and none of the X-Men could pronounce her name properly. Very aggravating! I will be having Angel appear near the end and you won't believe his laydee!

The Son of Logan and Ororo – Glad you liked! Sinatra next chapter!

XEvo Chic – If I can disturb people, then my job is done! I thought this chapter was more disturbing though – you have been warned!

Holly Potter – I'll mail you about Evans love interest and I'm glad you like the torment!

Rogue14 – It's one of those fics when you could do without some of the images it conjures up ;) Pietro will get his song out eventually!

XME – Thanks for the song! I've seen it on Barney the Dinosaur (did I just admit to that?) and it comes in very handy for a later chapter.

Human Lightshow – I'm updating hurriedly because I want this finished before I go on holiday at the end of the month. Glad you're enjoying it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing! Now I'm going to go cry in a corner…

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"Hello?"  A voice called out from the hallway.

Beast groaned. "Oh no. Not more people. Just as I thought we were out of women!"
"Oh, here you are!" Mrs Leech entered the room and smiled genially at the occupants. "I brought Dorian over to play with Jamie. He's acting very strangely today, keeps singing the Teletubbies theme tune! Is that boy having a nervous breakdown?"
"It's nothing to worry about Mrs Leech." The Beast smiled nervously. "This really isn't the best time I'm afraid, world to save and all that . . ."
"Hardly ze vorld." Kurt had unfortunately for al concerned, recovered the bottle of whisky that the Professor had been drinking from earlier. Another swig straight from the bottle and he was staggering over to the others. "Ve ist nicht . . .just Bayville."
"Sweet merciful crap." Rogue snatched the bottle away from him. "You know you're a mean drunk."
"Ich bin shober!" Kurt teleported at the other side of his sister, snatched the bottle with his tail and bamfed away, reappearing at the other side of the room and tripping over Evan, who was still gibbering on the floor.
"Can I have some of that?" Mrs Leech swiped the bottle and took a swig.

Beast looked serious. "You know, that's stuff's addictive."

"Just like ze fuzzy dude!" Kurt struggled to his feet.

"Look everyone," said Pietro hurriedly. "Before anyone decides to start singing, could I just – "

Kurt: I'm sick and tired of your excuses

            Can't deal with living anymore…

"Shit!" snarled Pietro.

"I told you he was a mean drunk," said Rogue as Kurt, unhappy at the interruption, curled his tail around Pietro's neck and tried to strangle him.

Kurt: I'll give you reasons to continue

            While you lie writhing on the floor

            I'll wash away your lies

            And have you hypnotised…

"Is that one of his powers, hypnotising people?" asked Mrs Leech.

"No." Bobby managed to prise Kurt's tail from around Pietro's neck.

"I guess he doesn't need it," said the woman admiringly.

"Oh no." Rogue shook her head in disbelief. "Please tell me you're not perving over my brother."

"Why not?" said Mrs Leech defensively. "Since Mr Leech left us, I've been going through a dry patch."

Pietro rubbed his neck and glared at Kurt. "Do any of these people have first names?"

Kurt: There'll be no compromise today

            I'll share your life of shame

            I think you know my name…

"I don't actually," said Mrs Leech.

Kurt: I'll introduce myself today

            I'm the demon alcohol

            Demon alcohol

            I'll get you…

"I hope so," murmured Mrs Leech, taking another drink from the bottle.

"Why doesn't anyone want some one their own age?" asked Sam. "I wouldn't go for an old lady."

"I'm not old!" said Mrs Leech indignantly. "And older women have experience."

Sam looked thoughtful. "Really?"

Kurt: If you could deal with your reflection

            I'm sure you'd see into my eyes

            There'll be no need for resurrection

            Let's drink to people of the lies

            Although that one's too much

            You know ten's not enough…

"How the hell is he managing to seduce her with this song?" asked Bobby irritably. "It's about getting drunk, there's nothing in there about getting it on."

"There's a lot of people who consider getting bombed a form of foreplay," said Rogue.

"Really?" Pietro sped over to the liquor cabinet. "Do you prefer vodka or gin?"

Kurt: There'll be no compromise today

            I'll watch you lose control

            Consume your very soul…

"See?" Mrs Leech smirked. "That's seductive." 

Kurt wrapped his tail around her waist and pulled her closer.

Kurt: I'm the demon alcohol

            Demon alcohol ha ha

            Demon alcohol

            Demon alcohol

            Let's party

            I'm sick and tired of resolutions

            You quit me time and time again

            Don't speak of suicide solutions

            You took my hand

            I'm here to stay…

Kurt took Mrs Leech by the hand and used his tail to swipe the bottle. Mrs Leech giggled. "There's lots more at my place and I'm sure your friends can look after Dorian for a while."

"No we – "

Beast spoke too late. Kurt teleported himself and Mrs Leech away. Unfortunately he misjudged the distance and reappeared in the doorway, the pair falling into an untidy heap. Laughing, they got up and decided to walk to the Leech house.

Evan looked up from his insane ramblings; just in time too see an apocalyptically drunk Kurt snuggling close to Mrs Leech.

"Oh dear God no!"

Evan went back to his mumbling. Occasionally he twitched.

Song is 'Demon Alcohol' by Ozzy Osbourne. I understand every word he says, does that make me equally bemused?