A/N: Firstly I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed for my
story however, I have come to realize that I need to finish this story
regardless I will have to finish this for me. So that is my task this week.
It will be hard because there are things I would rather not cut out but
have little relevance to the story such as the bitch fight which I have
been wanting to do ever since I started to read fan fiction, also, making
Angel extremely jealous however that didn't really come into play very much
with this genre of story I only used it slightly in the 3rd or 4th chapter
however I would like to thank you for reviewing and if you could generously
continue in doing so. I am touched you have read my piece, now on with the
writing.
Road to Recovery
Rachel had left that morning in Kevin's over sized tee and a pair of sneakers. Was she really what they said she was a replica of her mother? She could only hope she was. Her mother according to pictures was gorgeous, she remembered the little things she could about her father and the most dominate memory was that of his love for both of them. Rachel smiled to herself; they were so in love, why did fate have to be so cruel. It wasn't fair, nothing ever was.
So that was her father, she had to admit she had a sinking suspicion that he was close by. He would have to understand that it wasn't going to be easy, her forgiveness would cost him a pretty penny. He did however, look worn around the edges, his brown hair all scruffy and his brown eyes are now so cold. Whoever this man was, he was not her father, but at least, or so she thought, he was really trying to be.
In all honesty she knew that nothing would please her mother more than accepting him back into her life. She did miss him. They used to be so close. What happened? He could tell her everything and vice versa. They were each other's rocks. How could it have come to this. She supposed the death of her saintly mother contributed to a lot more pain than she ever knew.
Sadly she couldn't remember her mother, not a hair or a glimpse. All she knew was that she was magnificent. No one could tell her otherwise or she would get very defensive, uncle William learned that lesson awfully quickly when she was the tender age of ten.
On the brighter side of things, she had just spent the entire night with her godly boyfriend whose only concern was of her comfort and well-being. Her heart would have melted had she not been so hysteric. He truly was a great guy. One day maybe her dad could be the one to walk her down the aisle of the rest of her life. It was a comforting thought really. It was chilly outside and she needed to get to class maybe she could salvage something of the bond her and her father once had. However, she was still fuming mad.
"Rachel, oh my god, what happened to you?" Kate came rushing to her best- friend's side with a warm embrace, her hand on her friends shoulder. "I was so worried about you, I've been looking all over the place for you!"
"ugh, I would really rather not talk about it Kate, i-I've had a really bad day." Rachel's ees subsided to the floor.
"Rachel, honey, I get it, you don't want to talk but the rumors going around, I have to know, Rachel are they true?" Rachel looked up at her bewildered.
"What rumors?" Rachel looked totally oblivious to the situation that she had not so clearly walked into. "Kate tell me right now, what's up?"
"Well, if you haven't well, nothing I mean, it was only small really..."She dragged her sentence out. She was lying and Rachel could tell like it was a second sense or something.
"Kate!" Rachel held both of her shoulders very firmly, "I need to know what's going on, is this about Kevin?"
"Kevin? No, no, um, look we have assembly like right now, let's find Jake and Aly!" Rachel released her iron grip and her friend loosened up. Whatever was going on she didn't like it. She was new, who knew what kinda of rumors were being spread around school about it."
"Fine, let's go but then you better tell me what the hell is going on!" Rachel threatened and ran after her friend.
As they entered the auditorium they spotted Jake and Aly sitting comfortably in the corner of the large spacious room. "Oh goodie, you guys made it! Come sit her!" aly gestured to the vacant seat on her left.
"Thanks Aly!" Rachel smiled her sweetest smile and took a sit, at the moment she wasn't feeling very sweet. "So um, what's this all about?"
"I don't know, I think they are deciding class president, then there is some special presentation or something, who cares its all school related so it's the same old crap!" Jake rolled his eyes and tried not to stare at Rachel, ever since she had hooked up with Kevin she had been Off-limits so to speak. It bothered Jake but there was not much he could do in the ways of winning her heart so he stayed contented in being second best to Kevin.
"Shh, it's starting!" Aly, the total schooly chick hushed the gang in an attempt to actually hear what they were saying.
"Good Morning Sunnydale High, today is a very important day especially for all you seniors out there." Shouts of agreeance rang out throughout the auditorium. It was full of grade 11's and 12's and the occasionally 10th grader that just felt like shouting put forth the effort. "Today, we choose the class representative of 2004! As, I am sure you are all aware the following people have been running these past weeks, let's see, we have, Janet Craig, Michelle Walker, Thomas Doug, Allan Whitmore and finally Courtney sherk!" Everyone applauded to this years finalist all but Rachel. There were one or more people In that list who made her skin crawl and she would rather be put to death than clap in their praise.
"Now, the envelope, please!" drumming music was added to the back as to have a suspenseful intro, "And this year's class rep, is Courtney Sherk!! Congratulations!" The principal beamed in pride, they must be in an alliance, Rachel sighed. She was prepared for a living hell!
"Wow, like oh my god this is way cool! I mean, thanks to everyone who voted for me you are all just the best!" Rachel rolled her eyes, she made fun of half of them and the other half were probably just threatened. "And as class president I will make sure that some people don't have an unfair advantage then others. Well let's take little Miss Summers for example," Finally Rachel's and everyone sitting in the room's attention had peaked, what about her? "You see, Miss. Summers, made one of our favorite faculty members, umm, what was his name, ah yes, Mr. O'Connor, leave his substituting job," Waves of moans washed the crowd; he was very popular with the kids especially the teenage girls. "Well getting to my point Miss. Summers or should I say O'Connor, was unfairly achieving higher marks than the rest of the class because that yummy stud of a teacher is actually your father!" Rachel sunk so low in her chair she thought it was going to swallow her whole, wait scratch that, she wanted it to swallow her whole. "That's right Sunny dale High, you heard me! Miss. Popularity isn't really all that she is crack upped to be. Thank her for the departure of your favorite teacher!" Courtney looked out upon the sea of shocked faces to rest upon Rachel. With a twisted grin and a wink of her eye she stepped down and went back to her chair.
"Ugh, thank you Courtney, lovely speech." The teacher was just as shocked as the rest. "Well on further note.." He began to dwell on about the rest of the days activities but not before Rachel had the chance to run out of the auditorium like a dog with its tail between its legs. She wished she could have only missed the shocked stares of her best friends and peers, then maybe she wouldn't have to live in a cave for as long as she thought. With fresh tears spilling form her eyes she fled the room and sought out her little stall in the washroom that had her name on it, literally. Inscribed in a black ink, etched into the pink door was, "Rachel Summers, cry baby of the year." with a capital C written right next to it. Only realizing this now, she began to cry harder and began to see the similarities of her life and the porcelain toilet she was now resting her heaving shoulders on.
A small knock came from hall and Rachel held her breath. Whoever it was could wait, she was sure her problem far surpassed that of having to pee.
"Rachel, sweetie, come on, seriously it's not that bad, so what he's your dad, I mean, oh my god Rachel, that hottie is your father, can I come over, please!" Kate had her hands in the air, like a light had just gone off.
Fortunately she was able to get a few chuckles from Rachel, "I don't think that will be happening for a while Kate, I don't live with him."
"What?" Finally subsiding from a fit of giggles, Kate toughened up.
"I didn't know he was my dad, he, well he left when I was four." Rachel started to open the door and peered out with her hands loosely behind her back and her eyes towards the ground.
"Oh, honey I didn't know I swear it. Courtney is such a bee-otch! I mean I bet she doesn't even now, even that could put a dent in her icy heart." Kate tried to give her a re-assuring smile.
"But that's the thing, I don't want to put dents in people's hearts, metaphorically and literally," She scrunched her nose in disgust and continued, "I mean I don't want to be some sob story, I am fine, yes my mother did die and yes my father left, but I was raised by two incredible people that have shown me more love than I have ever known, and I am happy, or at least I was."
"What do you mean?" Kate wondered how she could possibly more upset now that her dad has finally committed to her.
"My life was fine until he showed up! I mean look, I had accepted it I moved on then he comes in here like I am his property and things are all up in the air again. At least before it didn't hurt knowing that my father left because he wasn't there, you can't miss something you haven't had. Now he is and he can give me a hug and we can do the father-daughter dances. Kate what if he meets me and decides I am not good enough, what if he doesn't like me or who I have become?" Rachel burst into more tears and Kate wrapped to firm arms around her neck.
"Hottie or no hottie, if he can't appreciate what a wonderful person you are than he is just plain stupid in my books. Rachel hunnie, it's impossible not to like you!"
"Courtney doesn't find it to hard!" Rachel sniffled.
"Courtney has the IQ of a prada stiletto and that's generous if I may say so myself, it doesn't matter what she thinks, a vegetable has more brain power than her, not to mention she is made of ice so you know!" Kate smiled and unraveled her arms from Rachel and swept away a stray, wet brown piece of hair.
"You really are the best Kate, plus you are too funny!" Rachel flashed her a smile to ease her concerns, "I guess I should make an appearance huh?"
"It might be wise!" Kate grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the stall.
"My hair?"
"Gorgeous! Now come on lets go make Courtney see what she "didn't" do!"
When the girls finally entered the hall way it was like all eyes were on Rachel. She was about obvious with the red puffy eyes and all but still it only meant that it really did affect people. She casually waved and walked towards here locker where she was greeted with the one person she wanted to stay and go at the same time. Go because of the mess she made of her outfit but stay because she just needed him.
"Kevin, ugh hey!" She tried to smile but it fell flat.
"Baby, are you okay?" Kevin brushed his hand against her arm and pulled her into a hug.
"I will manage but being in your arms makes It that much easier!"
"I hoped it would. Courtney is just being Courtz don't pay any attention to her, that will throw her off her game!"
"Oh I plan on payback, just haven't planned it yet!" She smirked evilly and Kate shivered, what ever she was planning it would be brutal!
"Hey, did you want me to drive you home?" It was about to be lunch but she just couldn't stand to stick it out all day so she shrugged and agreed to his proposition, "Sure, that would be so great!"
"Okay I'll get your bags you get your coat?"
"Yea thanks!" Rachel put a hand around his waist for support and shot a passing Courtney an icy glare and tightened the embrace with Kevin, making Courtney fume with jealousy.
"Actually sweetie, could you ugh, drive me to my d-da-dads!" She finally managed to squeak out. IT had been awhile since she had last used that word and thought of a person, "There are some things we need to sort out, once and for all.
Kevin smiled and began to drive in the opposite direction. She was making the right decision, he just hopped he didn't hurt her again.
POV angel
Angel sat at the edge of his bed idly slipping the photo of him and Buffy and Rachel's first day at the hospital as a family. "She hated him, no she didn't, yes she did," Angel went back and forth in his head, pondering the life long question, could she ever forgive him for being the coward he was! He had really fucked things up this time.
He quit his job today. He figured it would be for the best, as she would probably not want to work with him knowing that she wouldn't even be in the same room as him for like five seconds after discovering his dirty secret. He didn't want to leave her alone but that might be best for now. He could watch her from a distance. But what a joy it would be for him to be able to take part in her life.
"Damn it!" he cursed. The sharp glass of the picture cut into his hand as he had moved. He stalked over to the quaint sink in the small kitchen that occupied his stingy motel room. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and he abandoned the rag he was about to use to stop the bleeding. "Just, a second, be right with you!" He went over and used his left hand to open the door as he clutched the right one. As he turn the knob on the other side Rachel's heart clutched in her chest.
"Can I, well I mean, could I possibly, we need to talk!" She had one small hand on her hip and her lips quivered as she spoke. She was babbling, babbling like Buffy. He smiled dumbly.
"What?" She said her nerves turning to anger.
"Oh, nothing, of course, come in!" He was nervous too and she could tell.
"That, um, Kevin, he is my boyfriend," Angel looked up with fury in his eyes, she was way too young to date, she shouldn't be doing that until after she is married! "He is waiting outside so any funny business and he is coming in, got it!"
"Ugh, yea of course, course, I mean I would never, but, Rachel baby, just take a seat!" He flashed her one of his trademark grins her mother fell in love with all those years ago. She came to understand why they were so impressionable on her mother, he was like she had remembered him and her heart slowly began to melt.
"You are bleeding."
"I know."
"oh." Rachel looked down again,
"What's wrong Peanut," Angel let the last word slip, he hadn't called her that since she was a half-pint but it just seemed so familiar and loving. Rachel blushed and felt something tweak at her heart, "I am sorry I am just used to us being well so close."
"yea, I know." Rachel looked to the floor! "I mean, wait! No I don't you were never there, how could we have been close, I mean I am sure you fled as far away from me as you could get. Close my ass!" Rachel stopped; she knew how much he hated a dirty mouth on his "baby girl"
"Rachel!" He gave her a stern look and then shook it off, "I know, I was horrible and I was a horrible mistake, you have to believe me if I could take it back I would in a heart beat."
"I think you would, but it's not the same, you made that decision and you will have to pay for it. I mean sometimes I just wish you never came back! I wish you were wherever in the hell you were and my life was with Xander and Willow and sometimes I wish I wasn't your kid I wish mom married someone else!" Rachel through her hands up in the air even though shame crept up on her face, "Maybe he wouldn't have been such a coward."
"I accept that." Angel put his head down and swished his drink around.
"God, of course you do, you accept all my shit you don't even try to defend yourself, and tell me it wasn't you and you had to leave and god! What's wrong with you! You used to be a fighter, I mean I was four but you were my fighter! God! Figures I have a fake of a father and a freak of a mother!" Angel finally jumped off his seat.
"You can blame me for everything that goes wrong in your life but you ever speak illy of your mother so help me god I will do something I will regret! She died because of you, you took her away." Realization suddenly hit his face as he figured out what he had just said. He covered his mouth in utmost shock. He hadn't meant what he said, well sure he had thought about it before but he was never serious he couldn't live if Rachel had died instead of Buffy, she was his child.
Rachel's pupils dilated and she became very pale. Tears threatened to flow over her eyes and she picked up her purse in the one hand, "I-i-gotta go!" She said in a wry voice. With that she took a mad dash for the door and escaped her worst nightmare. Even her father had admitted that she was the one that killed her mother.
"Baby what's wrong?" Kevin looked so worried.
"Kevin, just drive!" Angel watched from the window and he pulled out and sped off down the road. If she didn't before she surely would hate him now.
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Later that night, when Rachel got home she ran into her bedroom after checking that Willow and Xander were gone, and boarded herself into her room. It was her mother's old house and this was her mother's old room. She rummaged through the closets and found nothing but a overly big leather jacket. Without a thought she slung it over her shoulder and headed out the window, Xander had bolted it shut after her last escape but she was able to break through it after some hard work. She needed to speak to someone she hadn't spoken to since that fateful night. As Rachel approached the cemetery she set down a few candles and a large blanket. After lighting a few matches, she hoped that the wicca that Willow used to practice might help her. After the candles were all light she began to sit up and speak to the tall, towering tombstone, "Buffy Ann Summers O'Connor."
"Mom?" She hesitated, she didn't usually just talk to a slab of stone, "it's me, um, Rachel, your daughter. I will, I am so sorry, that I killed, you I mean I never meant to, maybe if I hadn't been born none of this would have happened.."Before she could finish what she had to say she heard a step in the grass. When she turned around a man stood hunched over, but his face was distorted or something and he had super sharp teeth.
"Be careful what you wish for!" The man had a large smirk on his face and pounced on Rachel! "Won't they be pleased when they know I killed the one!" He smiled.
"the. One? I don't think I am this one, you have been mistaken, please let me go!" Rachel wept and started to back up on all fours across the muddy, wet grass.
"No, I am pretty sure I am not!" He bared his teeth and made a growling noise.
"ahhhhhh!!!" Rachel's scream pierced the night like a sharp knife.
"Now you will meet the same fate your worthless bitch of a mother did!" the man smirked, Rachel was huddled against a grave stone when suddenly the man just burst into a pile of dust. With her arms she shielded herself and looked to her savior.
"No one touches my daughter!" Angel said firmly, a stake in hand.
"Daddy?" Rachel said, tear streaking down her face, mud and twigs scattered on her face and clothes.
"Angel took her in his arms and lifted her up cradling her against his big chest. "Daddy's here and always will be from now on!" He put her shaken form in his car and began to drive home. It was the most silent and the longest ride Rachel had ever had.
As they got to the door Angel lifted her in but as soon as he reached the threshold, Rachel got up and straightened up and held up her hand out against his firm chest.
"Thank-you, for um saving me, seems like u and mom were famous for that!" She smiled.
"We are your parents, and despite what you think we love you to death."
"You've proved that point!" Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Rachel, those things I said I didn't mean them at all." Angel said quickly
"I think we both said some things we didn't need, but I have to admit, I am fifteen turning sixteen and what you said is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me. We used to be really close dad. Tonight, I think it was a break through and we have a lot of work to do before we can become all chummy again and we will have to work at it."
"Just let me get you settled in peanut!" Angel touched her arm but Rachel moved back.
"I love you dad, but I don't have to like you." With that Rachel closed the door and left Angel out in the cold, where he had been for the past few years of her life.
TBC
OKAY that took a while to write I agree but please review I think this was a big turning point and I need feeback!! Thnz luv sarah!
Road to Recovery
Rachel had left that morning in Kevin's over sized tee and a pair of sneakers. Was she really what they said she was a replica of her mother? She could only hope she was. Her mother according to pictures was gorgeous, she remembered the little things she could about her father and the most dominate memory was that of his love for both of them. Rachel smiled to herself; they were so in love, why did fate have to be so cruel. It wasn't fair, nothing ever was.
So that was her father, she had to admit she had a sinking suspicion that he was close by. He would have to understand that it wasn't going to be easy, her forgiveness would cost him a pretty penny. He did however, look worn around the edges, his brown hair all scruffy and his brown eyes are now so cold. Whoever this man was, he was not her father, but at least, or so she thought, he was really trying to be.
In all honesty she knew that nothing would please her mother more than accepting him back into her life. She did miss him. They used to be so close. What happened? He could tell her everything and vice versa. They were each other's rocks. How could it have come to this. She supposed the death of her saintly mother contributed to a lot more pain than she ever knew.
Sadly she couldn't remember her mother, not a hair or a glimpse. All she knew was that she was magnificent. No one could tell her otherwise or she would get very defensive, uncle William learned that lesson awfully quickly when she was the tender age of ten.
On the brighter side of things, she had just spent the entire night with her godly boyfriend whose only concern was of her comfort and well-being. Her heart would have melted had she not been so hysteric. He truly was a great guy. One day maybe her dad could be the one to walk her down the aisle of the rest of her life. It was a comforting thought really. It was chilly outside and she needed to get to class maybe she could salvage something of the bond her and her father once had. However, she was still fuming mad.
"Rachel, oh my god, what happened to you?" Kate came rushing to her best- friend's side with a warm embrace, her hand on her friends shoulder. "I was so worried about you, I've been looking all over the place for you!"
"ugh, I would really rather not talk about it Kate, i-I've had a really bad day." Rachel's ees subsided to the floor.
"Rachel, honey, I get it, you don't want to talk but the rumors going around, I have to know, Rachel are they true?" Rachel looked up at her bewildered.
"What rumors?" Rachel looked totally oblivious to the situation that she had not so clearly walked into. "Kate tell me right now, what's up?"
"Well, if you haven't well, nothing I mean, it was only small really..."She dragged her sentence out. She was lying and Rachel could tell like it was a second sense or something.
"Kate!" Rachel held both of her shoulders very firmly, "I need to know what's going on, is this about Kevin?"
"Kevin? No, no, um, look we have assembly like right now, let's find Jake and Aly!" Rachel released her iron grip and her friend loosened up. Whatever was going on she didn't like it. She was new, who knew what kinda of rumors were being spread around school about it."
"Fine, let's go but then you better tell me what the hell is going on!" Rachel threatened and ran after her friend.
As they entered the auditorium they spotted Jake and Aly sitting comfortably in the corner of the large spacious room. "Oh goodie, you guys made it! Come sit her!" aly gestured to the vacant seat on her left.
"Thanks Aly!" Rachel smiled her sweetest smile and took a sit, at the moment she wasn't feeling very sweet. "So um, what's this all about?"
"I don't know, I think they are deciding class president, then there is some special presentation or something, who cares its all school related so it's the same old crap!" Jake rolled his eyes and tried not to stare at Rachel, ever since she had hooked up with Kevin she had been Off-limits so to speak. It bothered Jake but there was not much he could do in the ways of winning her heart so he stayed contented in being second best to Kevin.
"Shh, it's starting!" Aly, the total schooly chick hushed the gang in an attempt to actually hear what they were saying.
"Good Morning Sunnydale High, today is a very important day especially for all you seniors out there." Shouts of agreeance rang out throughout the auditorium. It was full of grade 11's and 12's and the occasionally 10th grader that just felt like shouting put forth the effort. "Today, we choose the class representative of 2004! As, I am sure you are all aware the following people have been running these past weeks, let's see, we have, Janet Craig, Michelle Walker, Thomas Doug, Allan Whitmore and finally Courtney sherk!" Everyone applauded to this years finalist all but Rachel. There were one or more people In that list who made her skin crawl and she would rather be put to death than clap in their praise.
"Now, the envelope, please!" drumming music was added to the back as to have a suspenseful intro, "And this year's class rep, is Courtney Sherk!! Congratulations!" The principal beamed in pride, they must be in an alliance, Rachel sighed. She was prepared for a living hell!
"Wow, like oh my god this is way cool! I mean, thanks to everyone who voted for me you are all just the best!" Rachel rolled her eyes, she made fun of half of them and the other half were probably just threatened. "And as class president I will make sure that some people don't have an unfair advantage then others. Well let's take little Miss Summers for example," Finally Rachel's and everyone sitting in the room's attention had peaked, what about her? "You see, Miss. Summers, made one of our favorite faculty members, umm, what was his name, ah yes, Mr. O'Connor, leave his substituting job," Waves of moans washed the crowd; he was very popular with the kids especially the teenage girls. "Well getting to my point Miss. Summers or should I say O'Connor, was unfairly achieving higher marks than the rest of the class because that yummy stud of a teacher is actually your father!" Rachel sunk so low in her chair she thought it was going to swallow her whole, wait scratch that, she wanted it to swallow her whole. "That's right Sunny dale High, you heard me! Miss. Popularity isn't really all that she is crack upped to be. Thank her for the departure of your favorite teacher!" Courtney looked out upon the sea of shocked faces to rest upon Rachel. With a twisted grin and a wink of her eye she stepped down and went back to her chair.
"Ugh, thank you Courtney, lovely speech." The teacher was just as shocked as the rest. "Well on further note.." He began to dwell on about the rest of the days activities but not before Rachel had the chance to run out of the auditorium like a dog with its tail between its legs. She wished she could have only missed the shocked stares of her best friends and peers, then maybe she wouldn't have to live in a cave for as long as she thought. With fresh tears spilling form her eyes she fled the room and sought out her little stall in the washroom that had her name on it, literally. Inscribed in a black ink, etched into the pink door was, "Rachel Summers, cry baby of the year." with a capital C written right next to it. Only realizing this now, she began to cry harder and began to see the similarities of her life and the porcelain toilet she was now resting her heaving shoulders on.
A small knock came from hall and Rachel held her breath. Whoever it was could wait, she was sure her problem far surpassed that of having to pee.
"Rachel, sweetie, come on, seriously it's not that bad, so what he's your dad, I mean, oh my god Rachel, that hottie is your father, can I come over, please!" Kate had her hands in the air, like a light had just gone off.
Fortunately she was able to get a few chuckles from Rachel, "I don't think that will be happening for a while Kate, I don't live with him."
"What?" Finally subsiding from a fit of giggles, Kate toughened up.
"I didn't know he was my dad, he, well he left when I was four." Rachel started to open the door and peered out with her hands loosely behind her back and her eyes towards the ground.
"Oh, honey I didn't know I swear it. Courtney is such a bee-otch! I mean I bet she doesn't even now, even that could put a dent in her icy heart." Kate tried to give her a re-assuring smile.
"But that's the thing, I don't want to put dents in people's hearts, metaphorically and literally," She scrunched her nose in disgust and continued, "I mean I don't want to be some sob story, I am fine, yes my mother did die and yes my father left, but I was raised by two incredible people that have shown me more love than I have ever known, and I am happy, or at least I was."
"What do you mean?" Kate wondered how she could possibly more upset now that her dad has finally committed to her.
"My life was fine until he showed up! I mean look, I had accepted it I moved on then he comes in here like I am his property and things are all up in the air again. At least before it didn't hurt knowing that my father left because he wasn't there, you can't miss something you haven't had. Now he is and he can give me a hug and we can do the father-daughter dances. Kate what if he meets me and decides I am not good enough, what if he doesn't like me or who I have become?" Rachel burst into more tears and Kate wrapped to firm arms around her neck.
"Hottie or no hottie, if he can't appreciate what a wonderful person you are than he is just plain stupid in my books. Rachel hunnie, it's impossible not to like you!"
"Courtney doesn't find it to hard!" Rachel sniffled.
"Courtney has the IQ of a prada stiletto and that's generous if I may say so myself, it doesn't matter what she thinks, a vegetable has more brain power than her, not to mention she is made of ice so you know!" Kate smiled and unraveled her arms from Rachel and swept away a stray, wet brown piece of hair.
"You really are the best Kate, plus you are too funny!" Rachel flashed her a smile to ease her concerns, "I guess I should make an appearance huh?"
"It might be wise!" Kate grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the stall.
"My hair?"
"Gorgeous! Now come on lets go make Courtney see what she "didn't" do!"
When the girls finally entered the hall way it was like all eyes were on Rachel. She was about obvious with the red puffy eyes and all but still it only meant that it really did affect people. She casually waved and walked towards here locker where she was greeted with the one person she wanted to stay and go at the same time. Go because of the mess she made of her outfit but stay because she just needed him.
"Kevin, ugh hey!" She tried to smile but it fell flat.
"Baby, are you okay?" Kevin brushed his hand against her arm and pulled her into a hug.
"I will manage but being in your arms makes It that much easier!"
"I hoped it would. Courtney is just being Courtz don't pay any attention to her, that will throw her off her game!"
"Oh I plan on payback, just haven't planned it yet!" She smirked evilly and Kate shivered, what ever she was planning it would be brutal!
"Hey, did you want me to drive you home?" It was about to be lunch but she just couldn't stand to stick it out all day so she shrugged and agreed to his proposition, "Sure, that would be so great!"
"Okay I'll get your bags you get your coat?"
"Yea thanks!" Rachel put a hand around his waist for support and shot a passing Courtney an icy glare and tightened the embrace with Kevin, making Courtney fume with jealousy.
"Actually sweetie, could you ugh, drive me to my d-da-dads!" She finally managed to squeak out. IT had been awhile since she had last used that word and thought of a person, "There are some things we need to sort out, once and for all.
Kevin smiled and began to drive in the opposite direction. She was making the right decision, he just hopped he didn't hurt her again.
POV angel
Angel sat at the edge of his bed idly slipping the photo of him and Buffy and Rachel's first day at the hospital as a family. "She hated him, no she didn't, yes she did," Angel went back and forth in his head, pondering the life long question, could she ever forgive him for being the coward he was! He had really fucked things up this time.
He quit his job today. He figured it would be for the best, as she would probably not want to work with him knowing that she wouldn't even be in the same room as him for like five seconds after discovering his dirty secret. He didn't want to leave her alone but that might be best for now. He could watch her from a distance. But what a joy it would be for him to be able to take part in her life.
"Damn it!" he cursed. The sharp glass of the picture cut into his hand as he had moved. He stalked over to the quaint sink in the small kitchen that occupied his stingy motel room. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and he abandoned the rag he was about to use to stop the bleeding. "Just, a second, be right with you!" He went over and used his left hand to open the door as he clutched the right one. As he turn the knob on the other side Rachel's heart clutched in her chest.
"Can I, well I mean, could I possibly, we need to talk!" She had one small hand on her hip and her lips quivered as she spoke. She was babbling, babbling like Buffy. He smiled dumbly.
"What?" She said her nerves turning to anger.
"Oh, nothing, of course, come in!" He was nervous too and she could tell.
"That, um, Kevin, he is my boyfriend," Angel looked up with fury in his eyes, she was way too young to date, she shouldn't be doing that until after she is married! "He is waiting outside so any funny business and he is coming in, got it!"
"Ugh, yea of course, course, I mean I would never, but, Rachel baby, just take a seat!" He flashed her one of his trademark grins her mother fell in love with all those years ago. She came to understand why they were so impressionable on her mother, he was like she had remembered him and her heart slowly began to melt.
"You are bleeding."
"I know."
"oh." Rachel looked down again,
"What's wrong Peanut," Angel let the last word slip, he hadn't called her that since she was a half-pint but it just seemed so familiar and loving. Rachel blushed and felt something tweak at her heart, "I am sorry I am just used to us being well so close."
"yea, I know." Rachel looked to the floor! "I mean, wait! No I don't you were never there, how could we have been close, I mean I am sure you fled as far away from me as you could get. Close my ass!" Rachel stopped; she knew how much he hated a dirty mouth on his "baby girl"
"Rachel!" He gave her a stern look and then shook it off, "I know, I was horrible and I was a horrible mistake, you have to believe me if I could take it back I would in a heart beat."
"I think you would, but it's not the same, you made that decision and you will have to pay for it. I mean sometimes I just wish you never came back! I wish you were wherever in the hell you were and my life was with Xander and Willow and sometimes I wish I wasn't your kid I wish mom married someone else!" Rachel through her hands up in the air even though shame crept up on her face, "Maybe he wouldn't have been such a coward."
"I accept that." Angel put his head down and swished his drink around.
"God, of course you do, you accept all my shit you don't even try to defend yourself, and tell me it wasn't you and you had to leave and god! What's wrong with you! You used to be a fighter, I mean I was four but you were my fighter! God! Figures I have a fake of a father and a freak of a mother!" Angel finally jumped off his seat.
"You can blame me for everything that goes wrong in your life but you ever speak illy of your mother so help me god I will do something I will regret! She died because of you, you took her away." Realization suddenly hit his face as he figured out what he had just said. He covered his mouth in utmost shock. He hadn't meant what he said, well sure he had thought about it before but he was never serious he couldn't live if Rachel had died instead of Buffy, she was his child.
Rachel's pupils dilated and she became very pale. Tears threatened to flow over her eyes and she picked up her purse in the one hand, "I-i-gotta go!" She said in a wry voice. With that she took a mad dash for the door and escaped her worst nightmare. Even her father had admitted that she was the one that killed her mother.
"Baby what's wrong?" Kevin looked so worried.
"Kevin, just drive!" Angel watched from the window and he pulled out and sped off down the road. If she didn't before she surely would hate him now.
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Later that night, when Rachel got home she ran into her bedroom after checking that Willow and Xander were gone, and boarded herself into her room. It was her mother's old house and this was her mother's old room. She rummaged through the closets and found nothing but a overly big leather jacket. Without a thought she slung it over her shoulder and headed out the window, Xander had bolted it shut after her last escape but she was able to break through it after some hard work. She needed to speak to someone she hadn't spoken to since that fateful night. As Rachel approached the cemetery she set down a few candles and a large blanket. After lighting a few matches, she hoped that the wicca that Willow used to practice might help her. After the candles were all light she began to sit up and speak to the tall, towering tombstone, "Buffy Ann Summers O'Connor."
"Mom?" She hesitated, she didn't usually just talk to a slab of stone, "it's me, um, Rachel, your daughter. I will, I am so sorry, that I killed, you I mean I never meant to, maybe if I hadn't been born none of this would have happened.."Before she could finish what she had to say she heard a step in the grass. When she turned around a man stood hunched over, but his face was distorted or something and he had super sharp teeth.
"Be careful what you wish for!" The man had a large smirk on his face and pounced on Rachel! "Won't they be pleased when they know I killed the one!" He smiled.
"the. One? I don't think I am this one, you have been mistaken, please let me go!" Rachel wept and started to back up on all fours across the muddy, wet grass.
"No, I am pretty sure I am not!" He bared his teeth and made a growling noise.
"ahhhhhh!!!" Rachel's scream pierced the night like a sharp knife.
"Now you will meet the same fate your worthless bitch of a mother did!" the man smirked, Rachel was huddled against a grave stone when suddenly the man just burst into a pile of dust. With her arms she shielded herself and looked to her savior.
"No one touches my daughter!" Angel said firmly, a stake in hand.
"Daddy?" Rachel said, tear streaking down her face, mud and twigs scattered on her face and clothes.
"Angel took her in his arms and lifted her up cradling her against his big chest. "Daddy's here and always will be from now on!" He put her shaken form in his car and began to drive home. It was the most silent and the longest ride Rachel had ever had.
As they got to the door Angel lifted her in but as soon as he reached the threshold, Rachel got up and straightened up and held up her hand out against his firm chest.
"Thank-you, for um saving me, seems like u and mom were famous for that!" She smiled.
"We are your parents, and despite what you think we love you to death."
"You've proved that point!" Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Rachel, those things I said I didn't mean them at all." Angel said quickly
"I think we both said some things we didn't need, but I have to admit, I am fifteen turning sixteen and what you said is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me. We used to be really close dad. Tonight, I think it was a break through and we have a lot of work to do before we can become all chummy again and we will have to work at it."
"Just let me get you settled in peanut!" Angel touched her arm but Rachel moved back.
"I love you dad, but I don't have to like you." With that Rachel closed the door and left Angel out in the cold, where he had been for the past few years of her life.
TBC
OKAY that took a while to write I agree but please review I think this was a big turning point and I need feeback!! Thnz luv sarah!