Merl, and me-- we were young things still. I was about 700, he was maybe
800 at the time. Arthur was only about 15; he would be made King in a year
or two. Arthur liked to smoke with us because when we got stoned enough
Arthur could coax information about his destiny out of us.
The bird let out another grayish white blob on the stale hay, "Gods Merl," said Arthur taking a long drag of the hookah, "That bird," he exhaled the smoke, "It craps a lot,"
"That's why I call it Crappy," grinned Merl taking the pipe from Arthur.
"So what do you boys want to do today?" I asked, "We could grind our enemies bones to dust but gosh," I paused to take a drag of the pipe, "We did that yesterday."
"We could sit under the stairs and wait for the ladies to go down," said Arthur with his playful grin, "You know. maybe get a glimpse at their undergarments,"
"Dude," Merl and I laughed together, "You're such a loser."
"Yeah?" said Arthur smiling, "Yesterday you said I was destined to be King. How could a King be a loser?"
"You told him?" I cried as Merlin gave me a shrug.
"I was stoned,"
"That's no reason to tell him the mysteries of the future," I shouted at my friend, "what else did you tell him?'
"That was it dude!" Merlin said, calming me down, "Mordred and Gwenny. all in the vault,"
"Oh," pried Arthur, "I'll remember those names."
"Like hell you will," I said going to Merlin's drawers and looking for some alcohol, "You're more stoned then. King Lot on All Saints Day!"
The rain pounded on the thin straw roof the hovel. The small trickles coming from the ceiling were turning to steady streams. I placed a little tin pot down as another leak sprung got of the straw roof.
"We could. you know, like throw eggs at Lancelot," suggested Arthur.
"Little Woman," laughed Merlin inhaling the contents of the pipe, "Lancelot is such a girl,"
"Public humiliation to Lancelot?" I asked, then it hit me, "His little pool party is tomorrow," I replied grinning.
Arthur spat, "Were you invited?"
"No," said Merlin, "I wasn't! Were you, Mordred?"
"No. I wasn't," I said, grinning, "But I think that tomorrow should be. warm."
"Yeah, and I'm fairly sure I'd like a nice swim tomorrow." nodded Arthur, understanding what I was getting to.
" "Dudes," said Merlin as he sucked, "We got a license to party," he said snapping.
"Merl," I said, laughing as I wrestled the pipe away from my very high friend, "You're stoned,"
"Yeah," laughed the sorcerer, "Nimue's goanna flip a shit, again," He looked at his sundial, "You boys had better go home.. We still on for the pool hopping?"
"Yeah," I said, "I got confession in a few minutes, and I had better go."
"I'm back on work," complained Arthur, "I do wish I was made King sooner, then I wouldn't have to scrub pots. Lata brother," Arthur said slapping the 800-year-old wizard upside, "Word," he said, "See ya!"
I repeated the gestures, "Lata dawg,"
Arthur and I walked across the ground towards the castle. Arthur was a kitchen boy and I was the court monk. I was suppose to be making the court all Christian-ly and was doing a pretty bad job at it.
After dropping Arthur off in the kitchens I headed to my five o'clock for confession.
Pulling on my priestly robes as I entered the confession room, I asked, "Good day my child," I said, buttoning all those little buttons, 'Tell me your sins,"
"Hello Father," whispered a seductive voice from behind the screen, "Sins? I haven't done anything too naughty."
"Well, we are all sinners, my child," I said, trying to sound professional.
"Oh, I love it when you call me that," I heard the latch open, as the woman walked into my part of the confessional room, "It makes everything so. kinky," The young woman sat on my lap and shook back her long blonde hair, "Hello. father," said she, licking me up the face.
"Gwenhwyfar," I said in disgust, "Do we have to do this every time you are compelled to come to confession?"
"But Mordred," Gwenhwyfar moaned as she straddled my hips, "You turn me on,"
Pushing the slutty queen-to-be to the floor, I stood up, "If you have nothing to say to our lord god, I bid you good day," I said as I headed for the door.
"Oh, that's how you like it," purred Gwen licking her licks, "I'll get you. Monkey," she wrinkled her nose. I slammed the door of the confessional booth with disgust.
"I don't understand this at all," pondered Lindsey. "I thought you were Arthur's son.and stuff."
"Son?" said Mordred in surprise. "NO, my child, that was only in the Alternate Universe with King Hsiao...and Marion Zimmer Bradley.and Madonna."
"An AU," said Lindsey importantly.
"What did you guys get stoned off of?" mused Sarah. "Marijuana was in South America and you were all, like European. Opium was Asian."
"We used snuff. It's cocaine," said Mordred as he absorbed Sarah's vast knowledge of natural habitats for illegal substances.
The three sat in silence for a moment. "It must have been horrible when Merlyn left," observed Lindsey as she began braiding Sarah's hair."
"It was," said Mordred sadly. "Before Merlyn left, Camelot shone many colors-reds and purples and pinks and all shades of yellow. But after Merlyn left-he took all the pink with him."
Monk sat and brooded for several moments as a lone tear squeezed from his left eye in remembrance of his beloved sorcerer.
"That was very disturbing, Mor," said Sarah. "Keep things like that to yourself."
"I want to hear more of the story," whined Lindsey."
"Alright," said Mordred warmly.."
The bird let out another grayish white blob on the stale hay, "Gods Merl," said Arthur taking a long drag of the hookah, "That bird," he exhaled the smoke, "It craps a lot,"
"That's why I call it Crappy," grinned Merl taking the pipe from Arthur.
"So what do you boys want to do today?" I asked, "We could grind our enemies bones to dust but gosh," I paused to take a drag of the pipe, "We did that yesterday."
"We could sit under the stairs and wait for the ladies to go down," said Arthur with his playful grin, "You know. maybe get a glimpse at their undergarments,"
"Dude," Merl and I laughed together, "You're such a loser."
"Yeah?" said Arthur smiling, "Yesterday you said I was destined to be King. How could a King be a loser?"
"You told him?" I cried as Merlin gave me a shrug.
"I was stoned,"
"That's no reason to tell him the mysteries of the future," I shouted at my friend, "what else did you tell him?'
"That was it dude!" Merlin said, calming me down, "Mordred and Gwenny. all in the vault,"
"Oh," pried Arthur, "I'll remember those names."
"Like hell you will," I said going to Merlin's drawers and looking for some alcohol, "You're more stoned then. King Lot on All Saints Day!"
The rain pounded on the thin straw roof the hovel. The small trickles coming from the ceiling were turning to steady streams. I placed a little tin pot down as another leak sprung got of the straw roof.
"We could. you know, like throw eggs at Lancelot," suggested Arthur.
"Little Woman," laughed Merlin inhaling the contents of the pipe, "Lancelot is such a girl,"
"Public humiliation to Lancelot?" I asked, then it hit me, "His little pool party is tomorrow," I replied grinning.
Arthur spat, "Were you invited?"
"No," said Merlin, "I wasn't! Were you, Mordred?"
"No. I wasn't," I said, grinning, "But I think that tomorrow should be. warm."
"Yeah, and I'm fairly sure I'd like a nice swim tomorrow." nodded Arthur, understanding what I was getting to.
" "Dudes," said Merlin as he sucked, "We got a license to party," he said snapping.
"Merl," I said, laughing as I wrestled the pipe away from my very high friend, "You're stoned,"
"Yeah," laughed the sorcerer, "Nimue's goanna flip a shit, again," He looked at his sundial, "You boys had better go home.. We still on for the pool hopping?"
"Yeah," I said, "I got confession in a few minutes, and I had better go."
"I'm back on work," complained Arthur, "I do wish I was made King sooner, then I wouldn't have to scrub pots. Lata brother," Arthur said slapping the 800-year-old wizard upside, "Word," he said, "See ya!"
I repeated the gestures, "Lata dawg,"
Arthur and I walked across the ground towards the castle. Arthur was a kitchen boy and I was the court monk. I was suppose to be making the court all Christian-ly and was doing a pretty bad job at it.
After dropping Arthur off in the kitchens I headed to my five o'clock for confession.
Pulling on my priestly robes as I entered the confession room, I asked, "Good day my child," I said, buttoning all those little buttons, 'Tell me your sins,"
"Hello Father," whispered a seductive voice from behind the screen, "Sins? I haven't done anything too naughty."
"Well, we are all sinners, my child," I said, trying to sound professional.
"Oh, I love it when you call me that," I heard the latch open, as the woman walked into my part of the confessional room, "It makes everything so. kinky," The young woman sat on my lap and shook back her long blonde hair, "Hello. father," said she, licking me up the face.
"Gwenhwyfar," I said in disgust, "Do we have to do this every time you are compelled to come to confession?"
"But Mordred," Gwenhwyfar moaned as she straddled my hips, "You turn me on,"
Pushing the slutty queen-to-be to the floor, I stood up, "If you have nothing to say to our lord god, I bid you good day," I said as I headed for the door.
"Oh, that's how you like it," purred Gwen licking her licks, "I'll get you. Monkey," she wrinkled her nose. I slammed the door of the confessional booth with disgust.
"I don't understand this at all," pondered Lindsey. "I thought you were Arthur's son.and stuff."
"Son?" said Mordred in surprise. "NO, my child, that was only in the Alternate Universe with King Hsiao...and Marion Zimmer Bradley.and Madonna."
"An AU," said Lindsey importantly.
"What did you guys get stoned off of?" mused Sarah. "Marijuana was in South America and you were all, like European. Opium was Asian."
"We used snuff. It's cocaine," said Mordred as he absorbed Sarah's vast knowledge of natural habitats for illegal substances.
The three sat in silence for a moment. "It must have been horrible when Merlyn left," observed Lindsey as she began braiding Sarah's hair."
"It was," said Mordred sadly. "Before Merlyn left, Camelot shone many colors-reds and purples and pinks and all shades of yellow. But after Merlyn left-he took all the pink with him."
Monk sat and brooded for several moments as a lone tear squeezed from his left eye in remembrance of his beloved sorcerer.
"That was very disturbing, Mor," said Sarah. "Keep things like that to yourself."
"I want to hear more of the story," whined Lindsey."
"Alright," said Mordred warmly.."