Thanks to:
XEvo Chic – Couldn't leave Sabretooth loveless, he's misunderstood really!
Bobtheheadlesschicken – Like the 'Whose Line Is It Evoway?' fic and there's not too long to wait 'til the end of Power9 – next chapter is the final one!
PomagranateQueen – There's a little Rietro here and quite a bit in the next!
XME – Hey, Lance's room might be going floral but at least he's getting lucky ;)
The Son of Logan and Ororo – No background characters! Just Mrs S. and lil Morlock girl to go and then I'm done. For now…
Rage-girl-05 – Yup, paired up!
Steph14Wales – I like it when some one else joins in the song, it's fun that way!
Oceanbang – Sabretooth needs more romance on fanfic! Hmm, maybe next time I could pair him with some one REALLY scary…like X23! Damn, why have I just thought of that now, when it's too late!
Furygrrl – I can just see Sabretooth belting out a Bon Jovi song…maybe I'm just consuming too much sugar again! And there will be more gratuitous Jeance next chapter.
Holly Potter – That's you're fave song, cool! More Rietro here and in the next chapter!
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
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By the time the group managed to get inside the mansion, they wanted nothing more than to sit and relax for a while. But it was not to be; the moment they walked in they could hear the shouts coming from the ruined rec room.
"Here we go again," sighed Jean.
They went into the rec room to find the mutants that had previously been in other rooms in the mansion up to God-knows-what had assembled there. Magneto was pacing the floor, pausing occasionally to glare at Wanda and Pietro.
"What are you thinking? For crying out loud Pietro, she's an X-Man!"
"So's Rahne," pointed out Pietro.
"Not any more. She's joined the Acolytes. And she'll be your new mother one day, so treat her with some respect!"
""Father!" Wanda looked annoyed. "She's younger than us! And she chases parked cars! No way am I calling her Mommy!"
"Yes, let's talk about age gaps, shall we?"
"You said you'd celebrate the love that Logan and I share!"
"I was being pinned to the ground at the time. It doesn't count."
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Listen, bub," snarled Logan. "There's nothing ya can do about it so just accept it."
"Accept that you're sleeping with my daughter? And Pietro's smooching a Goth with a killer skin condition? Not likely."
"Lover," said Rahne, resting a hand on Magneto's arm and causing the rest of the room to shudder. "I think ye should let them get on with it. You're a few years older than me…"
"That's different!"
"How?" asked Pietro curiously.
"Wolverine's older than me."
"He doesn't look it," said Wanda smugly. "He's in much better shape. And so flexible!"
"Too much info there sis," grumbled Pietro.
Magneto glared at his daughter's boyfriend for a moment, then decided to go for an easier target for his wrath. "And Pietro, I thought better of you. I can understand you like the challenge, but when you get the milk you throw away the cow!"
"Who are you callin a cow?" snapped Rogue.
Professor Xavier frowned. Callisto was sat on his knee and no one in the room had met his eye since he came back downstairs. "What I wouldn't give for a distraction right now."
Pyro looked hopeful. "I could set something on fire! Like, uh…Evan!"
"No, I don't think…wait, what's that spiky freak doing to my wife!?"
"I thought she was your EX-wife," said Callisto irritably.
"Uh, it is!" The Professor used his powers to enter Evans mind and strip him of his sanity. Sadly, no one, including Evan, could see the difference.
Meanwhile, Magneto was in mid-rant. "And my Acolytes neglect their duties to chase women – Pyro and Logan's clone! You're as insane as my daughter! And where did Sabretooth go?"
"He's gone to live in the city with a doctor," said Lance. "He's a man-ho!"
"Sweet merciful crap!" Magneto looked highly disturbed by the thought. "Anyway –"
He was interrupted by a voice. "Excuse me, have any of you seen my daughter?"
"Uh, hello Mrs Sefton." Kurt looked slightly embarrassed and quickly removed his hand from Mrs Leech's behind. "I haven't seen her today at all."
"Have any of you?" asked Mrs Sefton hopefully.
"I'm not telling her," said Pietro.
Rogue shook her head. "Me either!"
"The thing is," said Jean hesitantly. "That due to a spate of poisoned water, mutants across Bayville have been serenading the objects of their desires and uh…"
"Amanda ran away with the Chemistry teacher," finished Lance.
"She's Jane to his Tarzan," said Tabby.
"They've gone native?" Mrs Sefton sighed. "I knew it was only a matter of time. She's always had that thing about hairy men."
"IF I may continue?" Magneto looked put out to be disturbed from his rant.
"Oh, don't mind me," said Mrs Sefton quickly. "I know how important it is to scream at your kids when they date the wrong person."
"Thank you. As I was saying…"
There was a huge crash from outside and Magneto looked skywards. "Must I suffer these constant interruptions?"
Yet another hole appeared in the rec room wall as the imposing figure of the Juggernaut smashed his way into the room. "I have come to kill my brother!"
"Eeeep!" said the Professor.
"We've beaten you before and we'll do it again!" said Scott in his best heroic voice.
"Um, excuse me?" Mrs Sefton looked nervous. "I think I'll just leave, if there's going to be killing."
"Wait!" said Juggernaut hurriedly. "Don't leave, there doesn't have to be killing!"
Magneto groaned. "Oh no. Not this again!"
Juggernaut: Hey baby I ain't askin much of you
No no no no no no no no
Baby I ain't askin much of you
Just a big a big a big hunka love will do…
Professor Xavier sighed in relief as his psychotic half-brother concentrated his attention on Mrs Sefton. "Uh, Callisto, can I hide out in the sewers with you in case she turns him down?"
Callisto shrugged. "Sure, let's go." The Professor wheeled them both out of the mansion and they weren't seen again for weeks.
Juggernaut: Don't be a stingy little momma
You're 'bout to starve me half to death
Now you can spare a kiss or two
And still have plenty left…
"I'm flattered," said Mrs Sefton worriedly. "But the thing is, I'm married."
Juggernaut: Oh no no baby
I ain't askin much of you
Just a big a big a big hunka love will do
That's right…
"There's no good way for this to end," said Rahne, pulling on Magneto's arm. "Let's go hide under the table."
"And while he's distracted…" Pietro took Rogues hand and pulled her from the room. "I have an idea and it's as hot as I am!"
Juggernaut: You're a natural born beehive
Filled with honey to the top
I ain't greedy baby
All I want is what you got…
"You do?" Mrs Sefton seemed to be warming to the idea. "Because Mr Sefton's been having a few problems in that area just recently…"
Juggernaut: Oh no no
Baby I ain't askin much of you
Just a big a big a big hunka love will do
That's right…
"Why's he singin anyway?" asked Jean. "I thought the toxic eliminators only affected mutants."
"When he awoke his dormant X-gene with mysticism, he musta left himself vulnerable to other things that affect mutants who's X-genes are active." Logan glared around as he received some confused looks from the others. "What? I've been around a while ya know, I've picked up a few things."
Juggernaut: I got a wishbone in my pocket…
"Is THAT what it is?" asked Mrs Sefton.
Kurt covered his eyes. "I thought she vas so respectable!"
Juggernaut: I got a rabbits foot around my wrist
I'd have all of the things that my lucky charms could bring
If you'd give me just one sweet kiss…
"You're soooo romantic," sighed Mrs Sefton. "Nothing like my husband!"
"Juggy romantic?" Scott gaped in disbelief. "Now I've heard everything!"
Juggernaut: Oh no no no no no no no no
Baby I ain't askin much of you
Just a big a hunka hunka hunka love will do
Just a big a big a big hunka love will do
Just a big a big a big hunka love will do…
"Oh my," said Mrs Sefton with a nervous laugh. "May I ask what you're power is?"
"I'm a human juggernaut baby," said Juggernaut with a leer.
"In that case, I'm all yours!"
Juggernaut lifted Mrs Sefton easily and carried her out of the room, through another wall. There was a sudden rush for the exits as the rec room became an actual wreck.
"Trust Juggy," said Storm irritably as Ray carefully brushed brick-dust from her clothes.
Kurt shook his head. "I just vish Amanda had been here to see zat. Teach her to cheat on me!"
Song is 'Big Hunk O' Love' by Elvis Presley.