Ryan and Kirsten had fun at the ballgame. As soon as they got to the stadium, Kirsten headed for the team store so she could outfit them as fans. Hats, jerseys, gloves – Ryan tried to protest ("It's too much") but Kirsten would have none of it ("Nonsense. We're at the game, we're going to look like fans.").

They had fabulous seats down the third base line. Kirsten was watching Ryan look around and take everything in. She asked him if he'd ever been to a baseball game before. He shook his head no, which made Kirsten glad she had thought of this.

As the national anthem was playing, a father with his son took their seats behind Ryan and Kirsten. The boy was about eight, with brown curly hair sticking out from under his Giants' ball cap, and he was wearing Giants' T-shirt. Ryan felt self-conscious in his authentic jersey – he would have preferred a regular T-shirt like the boy had on. The boy was very excited. He kept telling his dad what a great birthday present the ballgame was.

During the first inning, Kirsten was trying to decide between hot dogs or nachos. Ryan didn't know what Kirsten was planning to do with all the food she wanted to get at the game. Even before she finished her hot dog, she was looking for the popcorn vendor. Kirsten just kept insisting that they were going to get a complete, authentic baseball experience, and that included all the food that went with it.

The little boy behind them was spouting off the statistics of every player who came to bat. Kirsten turned around and commented that the boy must be a big fan. His father nodded his head and told her they watched every game on TV, but this was their first game live. Kirsten told them that this was Ryan's first live baseball game too.

The little boy looked at Ryan's jersey and said that he had wanted one for his first game but his dad said they were too expensive. Ryan was embarrassed and told the little boy that he actually like his T-shirt better. "But," he added in a stage whisper so Kirsten could hear him, "the crazy lady I'm with can't stop buying things." Kirsten looked at him and mockingly said, "Ha, ha, ha," but she was secretly happy that Ryan was comfortable enough to tease her.

In the third inning, Kirsten pointed out Lou Seal, the Giants' mascot. He was on the other side of the stadium, leading a group of fans in a conga line. Kirsten thought it looked fun, and wondered out loud if he would come over to their side and do it again. Ryan just glared and asked what kind of name Lou was for a seal, anyway. The little boy behind them piped up that his actual name was Luigi and he was found in the Bay. Ryan nodded politely, but Kirsten turned around and she and the boy discussed Lou's history. Ryan was tempted to point out that it was just a man in a suit and not a real seal, but he remembered how disappointed Seth was when he ruined the illusion about Spiderman at the Comic Book Fair. And Seth had been 16.

By the fifth inning, Lou Seal had worked his way over to their side of the field. To Kirsten's delight, he started another conga line. Kirsten wanted to join in, but the look of mortification on Ryan's face was just too much. After the conga line, Lou started the wave going. Kirsten was determined to participate, even though she had to pull on Ryan's arm to get him to stand up every time. Ryan was actually enjoying the crowd and would have participated willingly, but he was having more fun watching Kirsten get frustrated with his lack of enthusiasm.

In the seventh inning, Ryan caught a foul ball that was headed straight for Kirsten's head; she had been trying to get the peanut guy's attention and hadn't been watching the game. Kirsten loved seeing the grin on Ryan's face after he caught the ball. The boy behind them was so excited for Ryan and asked to see it. Ryan handed it to him and Kirsten was shocked to hear Ryan tell the boy that he could keep it. The boy's grin was even wider than Ryan's was when he caught the ball, and Kirsten wouldn't have thought that was possible.

The Giants ended up winning the game 7-5, though Ryan wasn't sure that Kirsten had watched any of it. She was right when she had said earlier that to her it was about the experience. As they drove back to the hotel, Ryan said, "Thanks, Kirsten. That was fun."

Kirsten smiled "Well, I'm glad you had a good time." She worried that she had been too enthusiastic for him. "The little boy behind us was cute. He sort of reminded me of Seth at that age. Except that Seth knew everything there was to know about Pokémon, not baseball teams. But you didn't have to give him your baseball."

"Did you see the look on his face? He would get way more enjoyment out of that ball than I would. If I took it home, it would wind up in a box somewhere. But he'd take it school, show it to his friends. I didn't need it."

Kirsten looked at Ryan. She wondered if there was ever anything he thought he needed.

That night, Ryan had a dream.

Ryan and Seth were coming home from school. Seth said something that made Ryan laugh. Ryan opened the door to the Cohens' house. When he walked inside, he realized he was in his house in Chino and Seth had disappeared. He looked around and saw his mom pouring herself a drink and she was mad. "I can't do this anymore, Ryan. I want you out of my house."

"But Mom, where am I going to go?"

Suddenly, Dawn turned into Kirsten. "San Francisco," she said. "You'll like it there. It's far away."

Ryan woke up with a start. His heart was racing and he was disoriented for a few seconds. Once he remembered where he was, he got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get a drink of water. That dream really freaked him out and he didn't want to go back to bed right away. If he were home, he'd pull out his sketchpad and do some drawing to think and relax. But he couldn't turn on a light – he'd wake up Kirsten. He could turn the light on in the bathroom but there really wasn't anywhere comfortable to sit and relax, except the bathtub. He couldn't, could he?

Ryan went back out the room, quietly got his sketchpad and a pillow, and went back to the bathroom. He put his pillow in the tub, climbed in and leaned back against it. It actually wasn't too bad. He felt a little silly, but it would work.

He started sketching and thinking. What was that dream? Why did the Cohen house turn into his mom's house and then why did Dawn turn into Kirsten? He knew he didn't want to go to San Francisco, but did he feel abandoned? Logically, CCA was the best choice. He wasn't comfortable with the amount of money it would cost compared to USC, but it obviously wasn't an issue to Kirsten, and he could eventually pay them back. But he had enjoyed the last two years, having people around who asked how his classes were going, who asked about his day. At USC, he'd have Seth around when he needed, could see Sandy and Kirsten whenever he wanted. He'd spent most of his life fending for himself; he wasn't quite ready to start again.

Ryan looked at his drawing. It was pretty much done, as was his thinking. He headed back to bed.

The next morning Kirsten woke up first. She had heard Ryan get up in the middle of the night and take his sketchpad to the bathroom. She wasn't sure what woke him up or kept him awake though and she thought she'd let him sleep in.

When Ryan woke up, he realized Kirsten was already up and dressed and reading the paper. He rubbed his face, trying to wake up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep in. I'll get ready." For some reason he felt apprehensive about Kirsten, but he didn't know why. It must be the residual effects of his dream, but he couldn't blame that on Kirsten.

Kirsten smiled at him. "Take your time. We're on vacation, remember?"

Ryan shook his head at her. "Right," he said. "I'll go get in the shower."

Ryan got undressed and stood under the hot water, wondering how he was going to tell Kirsten that he really didn't want to go to CCA, that he wanted to go to USC and stay near the Cohens. He could barely answer people when asked a direct question. Now he had to find some way to bring the subject up. Maybe Kirsten would start talking about CCA. And if she didn't? He'd worry about that later.

When Ryan got out of the shower he saw that Kirsten was looking at a tourist guide. "What do you want to do today, Ryan? I was thinking we could go over to Alcatraz. It's supposed to be a really interesting tour."

Ryan looked at Kirsten. "Um, yeah, touring a prison isn't really my idea of a good time."

Kirsten was a little disappointed. "Oh, OK," she said. Then she realized Ryan had actually spent time in jail and his dad was prison. Of course touring a prison wasn't interesting to him. "Oh! OK. Well, what do you want to do today?"

"I was thinking we could head back?" Kirsten started to protest but Ryan kept going. "I mean, we can drive back down the coast. You know, take our time, maybe take a couple of days. We can stop anywhere we think looks interesting and explore."

Kirsten smiled. "That sounds like a good idea."

TBC