Sooo… It turns out I've had this chapter done for quite some time but didn't realize I hadn't posted it… Soooo… Sorry? It was all Hiei's fault. gets killed
Okay... Reviews... I have a million here...
x Baka-Neko x- Glad you liked it. Here's the next chapter which I was so cruel as to accidentally not know I kept from you people.
Hakudoshi-chan- I'm updating! Jeez, don't hurt me...
KuramasGurl13- I always finish my stories. Sooner or later, they're always finished.
KumiHatari- Japanese is a cool language... Go ahead and speak it. I might have no idea what you mean, but that's cool too.
chocogurl- I shall update, for thee has... uh... I dunno. Just read the story. Kidding. Well, no, I'm not kidding about reading the story, but I suppose if you're reading this then you probably have every intention of scrolling down and reading chapter four, right?
Hedi Dracona- And I don't even have to try! I feel talented.
Mari Youma- The teacher... is gonna see Kurama's tape... and... doom will ensue? Stuff will happen? Whatever. It'll be funny, I'm sure.
Princess Krystal01- Glad you like it.
Kaida13- Nope. I'm the Queen of typos. Especially when I'm tired or when my hands are cold (both are true at the moment). I just usually fix my typos so nobody knows. I've made about five just in this comment thingy.
Agake Koi- Their profiles are on my bio... I have a couple pictures of Shadow drawn and posted on myotaku (I think there's a url on my bio)...Glad you like the story.
cat- Oh. My. God. I LOVE YOU, YOU JUST GAVE ME AN IDEA! huggles to death, then dances away to write, then realizes something semi-important hurries back to finish replies
Ookami Aya- Hiei is MY cute little demon. is brutally murdered by Hiei Well... Damn. But... Now I can go to Reikai and pester Koenma! I think.
Madame Arrow Foxfire- alsheimers again I forget what you could possibly be referring to... Cuz... I haven't read my own story in ages. But... Thanks for reviewing?
Black Cat- I don't need excuses from other people. I need to give excuses for not updating in ages... If I don't update, then nobody can review whether they are available to or not. starts reading list of already used excuses I think I've used every semi-believable one. Time to resort to lies. IT WAS THE CICADAS!
Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure- 400 strong demons have to restrain Hiei from killing CCC for saying that Shadow is equal to him, and for calling him a dumbass But hey, it's true. 400 strong demons can no longer control Hiei and Shadow Jaganshi is severaly mauled
KageYoukai- Yes, Your Highness. magical update appears Wow, look at that.
Heavenfire Hellfury- I think this one is a bit longer than the last one... Probably a lot longer, actually... I dunno.
Yayo- Sub teachers are cool if they're subbing for a normal teacher you hate and they're cooler than the normal teacher. I don't have to worry about subs for three months though, because I'M FREE! I'M FINALLY FREE!SUMMER VACATION ROCKS!
Aura Black Chan- Sorry it took so long for me to update. Like I said to... somebody else... (alsheimers again)... I need to be the one apologizing to all you people for taking so friggin long to get this chapter up.
Draikitha- "I'm lovin' it" makes me suddenly remember seeing a cup from McDonald's that said "I'm lovin' it" in like... six different languages (including Japanese! Yay!) And I commented on it and none of my friends knew what I was talking about cuz they don't know what Kanji is.
nutari- Updates shall ensue! I mean... No, that's supposed to be DOOM SHALL ENSUE! That's it! WHO IS MESSING WITH MY BRAIN TODAY?
Woo. That was a lot of reviews. Okay, well, oh, if you noticed in my comment to Black Cat I said "It was the cicadas," I got that from the Blues Brothers. That's a good movie, so you should watch it if you get the chance. It's funny. Have I already recommended that to you? I've lost track of everything I've said to the online world through 15 stories and 90 (this makes 91) chapters... I think.
CHAPTER FOUR
They're Plotting Something...
(Oh, doom, y'know?)
Yusuke looked at the test his language arts teacher had just dropped onto his desk.
32%. Surprisingly high, being as he'd guessed on more than half of them.
Hiei had managed to escape Shadow's wrath with his Jagan still in one piece on his forehead, thanks partially to Kurama, but also thanks to his Jagan, which can be quiet... persuasive...
Shadow, though half demon, was obviously weak-minded, as he'd managed to fuddle up her mind enough so that she still thought he was going to transform into a butterfly at any given moment. She was watching him with unwavering attention, barely ever blinking. It was kinda disturbing.
Why he'd ended up making her think he was a butterfly, he didn't know, but for some reason she thought he was. Oh well. It was better to have her stare at him like he might sprout wings any second than for her to gouge out his precious third eye. Or, while we're on the subject, his not-quite-as-precious-but-still-rather-important normal eyes. He looked at her, quirking an eyebrow.
Okay, maybe it wasn't.
"Shadow," he said dryly. "Stop staring at me."
"I can't. I might miss something."
Hiei walked away. She followed. He stopped. So did she. Briefly, he wondered whether she'd start doing jumping jacks if he did, but decided against testing that. Turning around, he slapped her across the face.
"SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU WEAK-MINDED WOMAN!"
Boom. She was on top of him in a second, snarling like a maniac.
"OH, JUST BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN I HAVE A WEAK MIND, HUH? WHAT THE HELL KINDA WAY TO THINK IS THAT?!"
"Well, you've been thinking I was a butterfly since yesterday, Shadow."
"NUH-UH!"
"Yeah. Would you mind letting go of my hair? That's kinda painful."
Shadow let go of his hair, which she'd been pulling to one side for some reason to tilt Hiei's head. She also jumped backwards a few feet since she'd been hanging onto him when he was still standing up.
"... Well? Are you saying all women are weak-minded? Or is it just me?"
"Nah. Eclipse probably is too. Don't worry, you're not alone."
SHWACK.
"Owie," Hiei said in an oddly high voice. He fell over backwards as baseball bat-wielding Shadow smirked.
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the element of surprise."
"Shut up, Shadow."
Shadow stuck out her tongue.
"Unless you want me to bit that tongue off, keep it inside your mouth," Hiei said coldly.
"What good'll that do? It's not quite safe there, either. If you really wanted to bite off my tongue, you get it while it's in my mouth, too," Shadow said dryly.
"It'd be harder to get to inside your mouth, so keep it there."
Shadow once again stuck out her tongue and he snapped his teeth. She quickly put her tongue back in her mouth with a startled look on her face. Then out of nowhere she said, "Women are better."
"We're not having a fist fight this time. Because men are superior and that's all there is to worry about," Hiei said. Shadow growled.
"What would you do if I kicked you out of my house?" Shadow asked.
"Live somewhere else."
"Where? A tree?" Shadow taunted.
"It always worked before," Hiei said, shrugging.
"..."
"What?"
"...You suck."
"No, Shadow, you suck."
"Oh? How would you know?"
The rest of the conversation has been censored due to Hiei starting to sound like my friend (who is a guy) at lunch in school. Which is scarily horrifying.
Kurama spotted Yusuke and Kuwabara on the way to Shadow's house and caught up to them.
"Kuwabara, tell me, do you think men are superior?" Kurama asked.
"You know... I think I read in some book somewhere that all men are equal under the eyes of God. D'ya think that applies to women, too?"
Kurama let out an exasperated groan, muttered something like "Useless" under his breath, and turned to Yusuke with his camera (that he'd obviously not forgotten at Shadow's house this time.). The boy was laughing at Kuwabara.
"Hey, baka, I think that might have been the Bible that said that, do you think so?" he said.
"I dunno. Who wrote it?"
"I could always be wrong, though," Yusuke said sarcastically, looking at the camera with a wink.
They turned into Shadow's yard and headed into her house. When inside they found Shadow sitting peacefully in front of her computer typing, with Hiei sitting Indian-style on the floor beside her.
"Hello," Kurama said.
"Hi," Shadow answered cheerfully.
"Whatcha doin'?" Kuwabara asked.
"Writing. A contract," Shadow said.
"A contract?" Kurama asked. The three boys swarmed over and hovered behind her, reading the writing on the computer screen.
In signing this contract we swear to abide by the terms stated below.
#1- Shadow and Hiei Jaganshi will live together in the house as equals and will no longer fight over superiority.
#2- The above stated will take turns caring for the house and the house's other occupants.
#3- Decisions will not be made without the consent of the other in the house.
#4- ... Dammit, it sounds like we're getting married.
"What the heck kind of number four is that?!" Kurama asked. Hiei glanced up at the screen.
"Well it does."
"Which we aren't," Shadow said thoughtfully.
"Well, a contract is a good idea, but I think it'd be a bit difficult for Shadow to abide by," Kurama said. "What brought this around?"
"Arguing over superiority again, of course," Shadow said. "Hiei won't admit that I'm better, so he decided that at least if I'm not better we could at least decide on being equals, and--"
"Then she decided that if we're equals, it's not fair that she's always the one doing all the work," Hiei said. "If you ask me, look at this house, and you can see she does a whole lotta work on it, right? So anyway," he pressed on quickly to avoid another bump on his head, "she decided that we should have a written contract."
"Ah."
Kurama thought for a minute.
"I think you guys should just keep living how you are now," Yusuke said. "There's nothing wrong with a good healthy argument once in a while."
"... Getting hit in the head repeatedly with a baseball bat isn't quite what I'd call healthy, Yusuke," Hiei pointed out.
"... Ah."
Eclipse appeared at the door. "HULLO, GROUP OF FRIENDS!" she screamed, interrupting their conversation. She danced into the room. Shadow had a thoughtful look come across her face.
"Ditch all this equality crap! I just had an idea!" She grabbed Eclipse's wrist and flew out of the room and up to her bedroom.
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Eclipse cheered all the way up the stairs as she flew behind Shadow like a rag doll. The door slammed shut behind them.
"Eclipse! Men are inferior, right? We have to think up a huge list of things about the guys we know that annoys us. Let's start with the easy one. Kuwabara."
"He's stupid, he's clumsy, he's weak, he smells bad, he's obsessed with cats, his voice sounds stupid, he's ugly, he's a big oaf, the way he runs is the slowest, stupidest way of running I've ever seen, he thinks he's cool when he's really not... Need I continue?" Eclipse said instantly.
"Wow. I never knew you could say so many insults in one sentence. Well actually I did. I've probably done worse before."
"Most likely."
So these two started thinking of all the annoying things they could about each of the guys downstairs, and they didn't have a very easy time of it when thinking of things for Kurama ("Well... he's really smart... does that count?") and Hiei (He's... uh... well... he's short... and... uh... violent?" "No more violent than you, Shadow.").
Kurama had noticed Shadow and Eclipse lurking around him ever since they came down the stairs. When he'd gone to do his homework at the dining room table, Shadow suddenly had some great interest in showing Eclipse her new fish that she'd had for three weeks. They were so distracting that even Kurama couldn't concentrate, and when he closed his book with an unintentionally loud snap, Shadow nearly jumped out of her body.
"What's up?" she asked. "Where're you going?"
"To my room to do my homework, since you two are the most distracting people I've ever met."
"Not your civics homework, right?"
"What? The interviews? I have two and a half weeks left for that, and I've already got four out of six. They can wait. Why are you so interested?"
"No reason," the girls said together, wearing identical looks of mock-innocence that were the type you'd see on one of those shirts that says something like "10% angel" or something... They looked maniacal.
"Sure... right..." Kurama muttered, walking away quickly. Halfway up the stairs he glanced back to see the two girls looking at him from around the corner.
"Are you stalking him or something?" Hiei asked, appearing out of nowhere behind them. The two girls did a slow 180 turn and the expressions on their faces didn't change. "Rightio..." he said nervously. He walked away too.
"Well, it seems we're out of danger for the moment. Kurama's in his room, so he won't be interviewing for a while," Eclipse said, losing the smile.
"Jolly good! Let's go maul people," Shadow said. The two ran upstairs to Shadow's vast layout of video games and proceeded to take turns virtually beating people up with a wide variety of weapons.
They learned two things: Number one: though it may look fun to hit people with frying pans, it really hurts. Number two: make sure that when you finally knock somebody unconscious with a frying pan (really, if it's a good frying pan, that won't take long) that they are not standing at the top of the stairs.
Hiei stared at the unconscious forms of Eclipse and Shadow, both gripping frying pans, sighed, and stepped over them, not giving a second's more attention to their injuries.
Nobody else even noticed until around seven o'clock when Shadow still hadn't called anybody down for dinner. Yusuke noticed first and went to Kurama.
"Hey, Kurama," he said unconcernedly, knocking on his bedroom door.
"Hmm?" Kurama asked, opening the door.
"I just thought you might want to do something with those two girls... Apparently they've beat each other senseless with iron frying pans."
Kurama's eyebrows raised a bit, but the look on his face was only that of mild interest.
"Oh, yeah, I noticed that a couple hours ago," Hiei said dryly from inside Kurama's room. Now Yusuke's eyebrows raised. Before Kurama could reply to Hiei's comment, Yusuke interrupted him.
"What's Hiei doing in your room?"
"Preventing me from doing my homework, actually. Hiei, what are you doing in my room?"
"I was carrying on somewhat of a conversation, I believe. What did you think, Yusuke?" Hiei asked, now beside Kurama.
"Oh, nothing..." Yusuke said, twiddling his thumbs.
The two demons stared at him for a minute.
"He probably thought I was screwing you or something..." Hiei said dryly, pushing past Yusuke and into the hall. Kurama looked down on Yusuke with some sort of un-Kurama-ish fury.
"No I didn't!!!" Yusuke squealed. Hiei laughed as Yusuke went tearing past him and down the stairs, tripping over Shadow's still form at the bottom.
"I wasn't really going to kill him..." Kurama said innocently.
"Just maim him, right?"
"... Perhaps."
"What should we do about those two bakas?" Hiei asked casually, pointing down the stairs.
"Something, I suppose," Kurama replied a somewhat bored tone.
"Yes... Probably, that would be something of a good idea."
And yet neither of them moved. They looked at each other.
"Well? Don't all volunteer at once," Hiei said.
BUT KURAMA... Never mind, dammit, I ain't even gonna finish that random thought... Psycho. I should be maimed with a frying pan. And 400 maniacs are all too eager to comply. Never mind... Oo
"You can help them," Kurama said. "Why am I always the healer?"
"Because you're smart. Go do something with them before they die," Hiei replied boredly.
"If they've been lying there for hours they're probably already dead."
"So? Then you should do something with their dead bodies. Like bury them."
"Well why don't you? You could cremate them."
"That's a lousy thought."
"So?"
"So go get your damned plants and heal them."
"I don't feel like it."
"Well you--"
"--you can't make me."
"Oh yeah?"
"I'd bet on it, shorty."
"Yeah, well you'd lose, then!"
The argument went for quite a while. Shadow leaned over to Eclipse.
"Did we add useless to our list?"
"Shut up! You're unconscious!"
"Oh. Right."
And they became unconscious again. That was a writer's oops. Actually, it was an intentional oops, but... Whatever.