It's short.
CHAPTER SIX
Last Interviews
"So, Koenma, are men superior?" Kurama asked, having explained the project to the teenager look-alike.
"Of course! Just look at me!"
Shadow appeared around one side of his chain, then jumped up onto the back of it, looking down at him. Her posture reminded Kurama somewhat of a vulture. "Yes, look at him. He still has a pacifier. And you're how old? Jeez..."
Eclipse appeared around one side of his chair. "And what does he do all day? Watch TV! And stamp papers! Look at that huge TV!"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE? WE LEFT YOU TWO UNCONSCIOUS ON THE FLOOR! YOU STRANGLED EACH OTHER!" Kurama bawled. However, Hiei wasn't wasting time screaming. He picked the both of them up and booted them out of Koenma's office, right into the path of some ogre carrying a 2-foor-high stack of papers. The guy tripped and papers went everywhere. Hiei quickly ducked back into the office and closed the door, smiling innocently. Kurama had watched through his camcorder screen, forgetting it was taping.
There were yelps and yells outside the office and the door burst open, sending Hiei sprawling across the polished floor.
"HOLY F---ING SHIT! THIS PLACE IS F---ING DANGEROUS! WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING WITH SUCH F---ING DANGEROUS CREATURES WORKING FOR YOU?!" Shadow screamed.
"Shadooow!!!" Kurama whined, his shoulders slumping. "I'm definitely getting an F on this project, thanks to you..."
"An F? You mean an F as in fu--" Shadow started. Kurama cut her off.
"SHUT UP! I need to go back through and censor this thing! Seriously!"
"Heh heh heh..."
"And it's NOT FUNNY!"
"I think it is," Shadow said, smirking. She was promptly chased back out into the havoc caused by her in the first place as Kurama darted after her, shouting every curse word he could think of plus a few he'd heard Hiei say and some he'd just made up.
Eventually, a good while later, they found Botan. Kurama explained his project to her.
"Oh dear, Kurama. I don't think I can give an opinion on that," she replied before he started filming. "I've met so many people... I just couldn't make an honest choice..."
"Well then who should I interview?!" Kurama asked pleadingly.
"Do you have to interview a girl?"
"Well, I'd prefer... Since I've got three guys already..."
"Then I'm sure Shizuru would have an opinion," Botan said, smiling.
"Shizuru. Great," Kurama muttered. "I suggested that, but then Hiei quickly changed my mind... I guess that's who we're stuck with, though."
"Oh, by the way, what happened to Shadow and Eclipse?"
The two girls were being held up by the collars of their shirts by a calm-looking Hiei. They had bruises and bumps on their heads.
"WE WERE BLUDGEONED!" Shadow cried triumphantly, jumping up. She was promptly clubbed in the head again and fell over again.
"... Oh."
Eventually, after taking Shadow and Eclipse home and leaving them lying on the porch, Kurama and Hiei started towards the Kuwabara's place.
When Kurama knocked, Shizuru was the one to answer the door.
"Oh, hey guys. If you're looking for my little brother, he's not here."
"Yeah, I know. I think he's at Shadow's. I need to talk to you. It's for school."
"You need to talk to me for school?"
"It's a project. Can we come in?"
"Oh. Right. Sure." She stood aside to let them in. Kurama stepped inside, but Hiei was staring down the hall.
"I'll be right back," he said, stalking off. Shizuru shrugged and closed the door.
"So, what is this project?"
"It's for civics. We had to interview six people to get their views on the question of superiority. I tried interviewing Botan, but she wouldn't give me and answer, she said she couldn't choose, so I have to ask you. Please refrain from using any extraneous foul language..."
The door opened back up and Hiei walked in, dragging a certain psychotic duo of half demon girls.
"They followed us here," he stated flatly.
"Are you two stalking me or something?" Kurama asked.
"Stalking? No! You just happen to going to all the same places we are!" Shadow said innocently.
"Yeah, that's a load of shit," Hiei muttered. Shadow looked up at him with wide eyes, horrified.
"Please, have mercy!!!" she wailed. Then she changed her tone. "Have mercy, or I'll kill you!"
"Shadow, I'm not going to kill you..."
"You aren't? You aren't even going to bludgeon me?"
"No."
"Yay!" Shadow jumped up and hugged Hiei. "Okay, do continue, Fox."
"Right..." Kurama muttered, focusing his camera on Shizuru and hitting record. "Okay, Shizuru. Are men superior?"
"No. Men are stupid. No offense to you two, of course."
"Right," Hiei muttered, but he was drowned out by Shadow and Eclipse, who suddenly jumped up cheering. They paraded around the room throwing confetti and singing some song you'd only hear on the Fourth of July in the US.
"OH HOORAY FOR THE RED WHITE AND BLUE!" Shadow sang, only knowing those words and filling in the rest with 'la.' Fireworks exploded around them and Eclipse followed her around throwing confetti and letting balloons float up to the ceiling. Shadow and Eclipse popped into either side of Kurama's video and blew party favors so they rolled out and nearly hit the camera.
"GET LOST, BOTH OF YOU!" Kurama screamed. Hiei, obviously acting as a sort of security guard, dragged them out of the room.
"They've screwed up every interview," Kurama explained.
"Those two girls are gonna give you an early death," Shizuru said.
"Well, there's the rare occasion that they're both nice girls, ya know? But like I said... It's rare."
"Yeah."
Kurama collapsed onto the couch, back at Shadow's house. He was going to watch this tape from beginning to end and write down everything that needed to be fixed. As Hiei had told him, it would take a while.
"Anybody else wanna watch this horrible failure of a project with me?" he called out, aware that there wasn't anyone else in the room. Despite that, though, everybody swarmed down the stairs and sat on the couch. Kurama groaned.
"Great."
Shadow had ended up beside him. She hugged him. "It'll be okay, Kurama... You got the project done, didn't you? Now all you have to do is censor it from things like Yusuke flashing me!"
"That's the least of my concerns, Shadow. Now let go of me."
"Yessir."
Yusuke and Kuwabara sat side by side eating popcorn, watching the video like it was a very interesting movie. Eclipse stood behind them and they were oblivious that she was stealing their popcorn and therefore, after their popcorn vanished, were wondering why their popcorn was gone so fast when they'd only had about two handfuls.
"You know, all that popcorn is gonna make you sick," Shadow said. "And you're not using my bathrooms. Go home."
"Shhhhh!" Yusuke and Kuwabara hissed, pointing to the TV.
Hiei watched with his eyebrows raised the entire time.
And Kurama, poor, poor Kurama, watched in horror, slack-jawed, wide-eyed, the only thing in his mind a huge red F for FAILURE!
"THIS IS HORRIBLE! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLY TERRIBLY AWFUL! I'M DEAD!" he exploded. Everybody stared as he curled up in a twitching ball on the couch with his hands over his ears.
"Oh. Damn," Shadow said casually.
(AN: Have you noticed how often I torture Kurama? Well, no Karasu this time, at least...)
Kurama jumped up and glared at her. "'Oh damn' is putting it quite mildly, don't you think, when this whole thing was your fault?"
"And Eclipse's!" Shadow said.
"Was not!" Eclipse denied.
"Yeah, I bet it wasn't. Then how come you help sabota---ah... I mean... HOw come you helped me prove women are better?"
"SABOTAGE?!" Kurama screamed. Everybody was watching this scene with as much interest as they'd watched Kurama's civics project. Yusuke and Kuwabara were sipping cans of soda through straws and eating M&M's. (Don't own, have no affiliation... :D)
However, their viewing was cut short as Kurama decided he would drag these two away to strangle them, since it wasn't something for the public to see, even if the 'public' was just his three close friends. So, he dragged them outside by their shirts and they vanished into the forest.
"... Why'd he drag them into the forest?" Yusuke asked.
"Because he doesn't want you guys to see him maul those two helpless girls," Hiei said absently, scratching his nose as he thought.
"Maul, huh?" Kuwabara said. "If Youko has anything to say about it, I bet they'll be doing something else."
Hiei suddenly lost his train of thought and slammed Kuwabara in the side of the head with a book.
"Pervert!"
....................................
Yeah, it was short, like I said. Next story to be updated: Youko Jaganshi...