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Chapter 21:
Red Badges

"Courage is acting in spite of fear."
--Howard W. Hunter

1300 Zulu
6 February 2004
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

Mac pulled Harm's Lexus into the parking lot and parked it in her usual spot. She got out of it, hurried around to the other side, pulled out the crutches, and handed them to Harm as he opened the door. "Be careful, Harm," she murmured as he carefully got out of the vehicle.

Harm leaned on his crutches and grimaced. "I've used crutches before, Colonel," he said testily.

"I know you have, sailor, but you didn't have three cracked ribs the last time you had to," she snapped.

Harm shook his head and took a step, carefully keeping his broken leg off the ground. "I'm sorry, Mac," he said. "I really don't want to be here."

"I know, Harm," she murmured. "I promise to try and keep this as short as I can."

"I want to get out of here." Harm stumped forward on his crutches. "I don't want Marine guards waiting outside Gram's house like they were at my apartment and the hospital room, either. I'm not some sort of precious possession to be coddled and guarded," he said with a growl.

"Stop right there, Harmon," Mac commanded. "Let me get one thing straight; you are the most important thing in the world to me right now, and there are a hell of a lot of people here who care about you. If I have to convince the Admiral to assign guards to you forever to keep some lunatic with a vendetta from coming after you, I will. Got that?"

Harm stopped at her tirade and listened with a bowed head. "Yes, ma'am," he said softly. He knew better than to argue when she was in this kind of mood. All it ever led to were bitter fights, and he didn't have the energy for one at the moment.

Mac steadied him as he propelled himself forward. He showed his ID to the guards at the front desk and followed her to the elevator. A few minutes later, they walked into the bullpen. "Captain on deck," came the call.

The entire staff came to attention as Harm and Mac went by. Admiral Chegwidden came out of his office, a small smile flitting about his lips. "Attention to orders," he said. "Rabb, you're out of uniform."

Harm started to wobble slightly on his crutches. "Sir," he said respectfully as he tried to come to attention.

"At ease, Captain," AJ said with a grin. "Coates! Get the Captain a chair, please, before he falls over."

"Aye, sir," came Jen's reply. She grabbed a desk chair and slid it up behind him. "Here you go, sir."

"Thank you, Coates," Harm said as he carefully lowered himself into the chair. From the look on the Admiral's face, he knew it would only land him in hot water to protest the special treatment. He wished that they wouldn't make such a fuss, but he guessed it was so people could see that his time with the CIA hadn't killed him off after all.

AJ stepped forward, motioned for Harm to hold his right hand up, and administered the oath. Harm put his brain on autopilot, refusing to let what was happening register. AJ smiled as they finished. "Son, since your mother couldn't be here, and I'm sure as hell not doing it, Colonel, will you do the honors?"

"Gladly, Admiral," Mac said with a grin. She laid Harm's new uniform coat on the nearest desk and came closer.

"Gently, Marine," Harm murmured.

A mischievous smile stole over her face as she leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss. She teased his lips apart and slipped her tongue in his mouth, completely ignoring the fact that it could probably get them in serious trouble. At Harriet's gasp, they broke off the kiss just in time to see her lean heavily against Bud.

As Harm caught sight of Sturgis's broad smirk, he felt his ears grow hot, and he was sure that he was turning bright red.

AJ cleared his throat. "Well, next time, I guess I should specify where the kiss is to be administered," he said gruffly, his eyes suspiciously bright.

"Congratulations, sir," Coates said with a smile. "We've missed you around here."

"There's one more matter we have to take care of before you leave town," AJ said. "Captain Rabb, you are hereby awarded your third distinguished flying cross for going above and beyond the call of duty when you landed a damaged C-130 without brakes on the deck of a carrier, thus saving the lives of all aboard." He pinned a medal on the front of Harm's jacket and motioned to Mac. "On the cheek this time, Colonel."

"Aye, sir," she said with a grin, then leaned down to kiss Harm on the cheek.

"The time and place of the Captain's wetdown will be after he returns from leave. Dismissed, people. Rabb and Mackenzie, I need you to come with me."

"Aye, sir," they said. Wordlessly accepting the crutches that Mac handed him , Harm struggled up from his chair,.

"I've got Secretary Sheffield in my office," AJ explained softly. "He didn't believe me when I told him that you're in no condition to fly to the Netherlands to defend him, or I would have put this off entirely until you're fit for duty. It was a near thing to convince him to come here instead of ordering us there."

"We'll be okay, sir," Mac answered. She put her hand on Harm's shoulder to lend him support. Harm flashed her a brief grateful glance then concentrated on the floor in front of him. With this lovely bit of news, he was wishing that one of Bud's Star Trek fantasies would come true so that Scotty could beam him anywhere but there.

The three of them walked into the admiral's office, and Mac closed the door behind them. "Captain Rabb, just the man I wanted to see," Sheffield said with a grin.

"Rabb, Mackenzie, have a seat," AJ ordered quietly.

Before they reached the chairs, Sheffield came over and made as if to clap Harm on the back. Harm flinched back, overbalanced, and almost fell before Mac reached out to steady him. He hadn't quite gotten used to moving around on crutches again, and the last time he'd had to do it, he'd at least been able to use his damaged leg for support.

"Don't touch me," he said harshly.

Sheffield shot him a startled look as Harm moved closer to Mac. He could handle being around people, but he still didn't like being touched. "Is there a problem, Captain?" Sheffield asked.

Harm simply moved as close to Mac as he could. "The Captain is on medical leave for good reason," AJ said calmly. "He needs some time to recover from his recent ordeal, and arrangements have been made for him to receive medical treatment at the VA medical center in Pittsburgh starting Monday."

"Psychiatric?" Sheffield asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"One of the Company's shrinks came to see him in the hospital," Mac said softly. "She said that he'll be okay, given the time and space to recover."

"Fine then," Sheffield said. "If he'll be okay, then he can still fly to the Hague."

Harm moved even closer to Mac, knowing instinctively that she would protect him. Before Mac could say anything, AJ spoke up. "No, sir." He handed the SecNav a sheet of paper. "This is from Rabb's doctor; with that leg, he has to stay stateside until it heals. And this is from the CIA shrink," he said, handing the SecNav another sheet of paper. "It says that his fiancée needs to stay with him for the duration of his recovery."

AJ allowed himself a small smile. "She apparently decided that the Captain and the Colonel are engaged."

Sheffield threw the papers on AJ's desk in disgust. "Fine. Colonel Mackenzie, since you are not the Captain's fiancée, then you can come to the International Criminal Court with me."

"Respectfully, sir, Harm is family. He's listed as next-of-kin on my paperwork just as I'm listed on his. If you order me to go, I'll resign." Mac folded her arms over her chest and glared at him.

"Before you say anything, I won't lose my best officers by ordering them to do something I know they won't do," AJ said. "I've already assigned you two competent lawyers, sir. The CNO is backing me up; Rabb and Mackenzie are off limits."

"Fine," Sheffield snapped, then turned, stomped out the door, and slammed it behind him.

"I'm sorry, son," AJ said. "I didn't want to subject either of you to that, but he was insistent."

Mac answered for both of them. "It's all right, sir. We understand."

"No, it's not," AJ said. "You shouldn't have to put up with that. The two of you are officially on leave." He handed them some papers and smiled. "The only orders I have for you are to keep me updated and to leave a number with Petty Officer Coates where I can contact you."

"Aye, aye sir," they answered together.

"I don't want to see you around here until your doctor clears you for duty, son." AJ smiled at both of them. "I may need you back sooner, Colonel, but you officially have six week's leave. Dismissed."

Mac came to attention and gave AJ a sharp nod, reaching out to steady Harm as he did the same. They left as quickly as Harm could, stopping at Jen's desk to give her the telephone number at the Rabb farm.

Before they could pick Harm's coat up from the bullpen, Harriet stopped them. "Get well soon, sir--we miss you around here."

Bud was right behind her. "Congratulations, sir. We'll talk about sending Little AJ out to see you."

"Thanks, Bud, Harriet." Harm murmured. "Grams will be glad to have him, and so will we."

"Tell Sturgis where he can reach us," Mac said. "You can get the number from Jennifer."

"Aye, ma'am," Harriet answered.

"We'll let you get going; I bet you have a long drive ahead of you." Bud said. He picked up Harm's new jacket and handed it to Mac.

She took it with a smile and the two of them headed towards the elevator. It wasn't long before they were climbing into the car. Mac made sure that Harm was comfortable before she stowed his crutches in the back. "Are you sure that you don't want to try stretching your leg across one of the back seats?" she asked quietly.

Harm shook his head. "I'm too tall, Mac. It wouldn't work."

She nodded, climbed in, and started the car. Harm turned and looked out the window, unwilling to talk, even to Mac. Now that he didn't have the pressure of a lot of people around him, things were better, but it troubled him to feel so uneasy around people who had been his friends.

The only problem was, he wasn't too sure he trusted them at the moment. Hell, the only people he knew he trusted right now were Sarah, Grams, and Little AJ, and he felt almost reluctant to let them close. He was a target. Getting close to him might be hazardous to their health.

Harm closed his eyes, hoping that it would keep Mac from trying to talk to him. He almost smiled as he felt her hand grasp his and give it a squeeze. It felt so good for her to touch him. It was one of the few things that was good in his life at the moment. Selfishly, he decided that he wanted her to stay and forget about the danger.

Harm didn't want anybody else to touch him but Sarah. He'd let Little AJ and Grams, but nobody else was allowed. Mac's touch was the only thing that soothed the nightmares, the only thing that kept him from the darkness. He sighed as she let go of his hand long enough to turn the radio to a soft jazz station. As she took his hand back, he let himself be soothed by the soft music and her warm touch. It wasn't long before he drifted back to sleep.