Disclaimer: First page.

A/N: Sorry it took so long, Uber-Writers block.

So Much Left to Learn

As Buffy walked from the room, she closed the door. She leaned her body against it, and cried. She never thought helping someone would be so bad, she didn't think he would act like that.

'He never wants help though,' She thought, 'He always has to do things himself.'

It was the rules they had placed without talking. He never expected anything back for what he did, the only thing he wanted, was to not be hated. Don't help Spike when he's beaten near death by a hell god. Use him when she was pulled from heaven, and ignore his feelings. Leave him thrashed in an alleyway for the sun to claim him. Always put the blame on him.

It was then that she realized, after all Spike has done for her, she's never done anything for him. She wouldn't even kill him when he asked her. She was not going to let him push her away for helping save his life. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and slammed the door open. She marched into the room, and the door crashed shut behind her.

Spike looked up in surprise, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, in what looked like an attempt to get up.

"You," Buffy said sternly, "Lie down."

He looked like he was about to argue, but she walked over to him, and firmly, but gently pushed him onto the bed.

"Stay right there," She commanded, and walked over to the first aid kit she had been using last night. She came back to the bed and threw off the covers; she unpacked the kit, and began redoing his bandages.

"Jesus Christ Buffy, what's gotten into you?" He asked her, propping himself up on his elbows.

"Lie down," She told him, "I am going to make you better, whether you like it or not."

"Buffy," He tried in a soft tone, "I can do this myself."

"That's why I'm doing it," She said, "I'm tired of watching you do everything for yourself, so from now on, every single scratch you get, I'm taking care of it for you, and if I hear one complaint, I'll kick your ass."

After bandaging the broken vampire he looked up with her with confusion in his eyes

"Why are you helping me?" Spike asked softly.

"I already told you, if you choose not to listen that's fine."

"Don't have to get all shirty Slayer, simple question."

"What is shirty? Did you just make that up?" Buffy asked raising an eyebrow.

Spike thought about it, "What if I did?"

"You're such a dope sometimes," She told him.

"A dope? I never heard that one before, pet."

"First time for everything." Buffy said with a smile.

"Can I get up now?" Spike asked. "Nu uh," She said. "Oh, come on, Slayer, you got to play nurse." Spike whined, "Now my turn to play hero." Spike smirked, "But if you wanna' play nurse some more..."

Buffy rolled her eyes, yup, it was still Spike.

Spike looked up at the blond beauty standing above him offering him her help, support, and all he could ask himself was why...He could ask her too apparently. "Why are you helping me?" He asked seriously.

Buffy looked down at him, "Because I don't want you to die." She said it half jokingly.

"But I deserve to-" Spike started.

"Stop that!" Buffy yelled.

Spike looked at her with a look of confusion, "Buffy-" He started.

Buffy sighed, "You have to stop, this soul has turned you into a whiny brat!" Buffy said, "It's like your PMSing or something."

"That's just wrong." He told her.

Buffy sighed, "I'm serious." Buffy said, "You need to get your act together."

A sunken look appeared in his eyes. Spike looked at her seriously, "I really don't get you Slayer, you scream at me for not having the bloody soul, I get it and you complain about that."

"I'm just trying to-"

"Buffy, you really don't get it do you? All this, everything, I did it for you." Spike said softly like a child.

Buffy looked at him and her eyes soften.

"You call me dirt, a soulless disgusting thing, so I go and get the bleeding soul" Spike explained, "And you still aren't happy?" Spike asked his eyes narrow, "So what? What can I do?!"

Buffy looks at him her heart heavy.

Spike looks at her and sighs. He didn't want to know what was going through her head already thinking he knew. He was dirt to her and that's all he would ever be.

"I want you to be you," Buffy said, "Cause as much as I hate to admit it, I like the witty vampire who got on my nerves every three seconds."

Spike looked at her, confusion fogging his crystal blue eyes.

Buffy never really looked into his eyes before, afraid she would get lost in them.

Spike looked at her, "What are you saying exactly?" Spike asked sitting up, pain shooting threw his chest like rockets. He groaned in pain, and Buffy lightly pushed him back down.

"I'm saying," She started keeping her hand on his chest and leaning in close to him, "That I love you."

"You wanna' run that past me again?" He asked her, his voice abnormally high.

"I," She said pointing to herself with her free hand, "Love," She pointed to her heart, "You," She poked him in the nose.

"Oh," He said, his eyes where wide open, and his voice squeaked.

A laugh bubbled from her, Spike stared up at the giggling blonde above him, and prayed it wasn't a dream. Spike reached out and caressed her cheek softly making sure she was still there. That it wasn't just him imagining it. "You know, if I wasn't stuck in a bloody bed right now it would go a lot better," Spike said softly searching her eyes.

Buffy smiled warmly. "I agree." She said. Buffy lay down on the bed and rested her head on his shoulder, his arms went around her, trying to find a way that was less painful.

He leaned his head in and kissed her softly on the top of her golden locks. Then he heard soft sniffling coming from her. He propped his head up slightly to see her face, fresh tears were trailing down her cheeks. "Love?"

Buffy looked up at him, and pushed his head back down. "Shhh," She told him, "Lie down, and get some sleep."

Spike's eyes pleaded with her, "Don't leave me?" He asked her, "Please..."

"Shhh," She said again, "Never again, I'm watching over you," She told him.

Fatigue caught up with Spike in a huge wave, as all his adrenaline left his body. His eyes began to close, and he fell asleep.

Buffy watched this broken man sleep. And knew she could never leave him.

A/N(again!): Thanks to sPikEsBaBeEgUrL (spelling/grammer?) for some of this story!