Author's Note: This fic was written as a response to a challenge I received, as did many others, from Keza. It took a while for me to get to it, but I finally sat down and wrote it all in one-shot. I'm quite happy with the way it came out, and I really hope you all enjoy it. This fic is dedicated to B for her birthday of past, and Falco for her birthday of future. Peace, love, and remember: Di mai di dimenticare. (Ask )
Disclaimer: This fic has no portrayal of any slash relationships portrayed. However incestual sexual abuse is mentioned briefly. THEREFORE, I ask that if you are uncomfortable with this subject matter (even hearing the words), please DO NOT READ. I don't explain or describe it at all, but it is mentioned and may disturb some readers. Thank you. I don't own Newsies, Blink, Racetrack, or Oscar Delancey. (FnoB, 7/26/04)
Non Dimenticherò Mai (I'll Never Forget)
by frogger-no-baka
When he looked back on it, he would say that the weather seemed to foreshadow the coming events. The cloudy skies, with not a drop of rain in sight. The autumn breeze typical of September was acting more like a gust, and one had to be careful not to end up in a pile of leaves simply when walking by the street. It was a time when Racetrack wished he were rich; wished he could actually afford a sweater. Wished he wasn't wearing last summer's clothes.
Racetrack was on his way to the alley by the Fighting Roar Bar. It was a quiet place, one that he liked to visit often. Most nearby citizens threw their day-old papers there, and he would sit there and actually just read what he had sold. He liked to be a bit more culturally aware then most, and sometimes it came in handy; customers will tend to let you keep the change if you can strike up a good conversation with them.
As he turned into the alley, he was greeted by a familiar figure. He smiled and raised a hand in greeting. The boy shivered as he waved in return. As Race got closer, he noticed that this was one of the few times when the boy wasn't wearing his token eye patch. As one of Blink's good friends, Race was privileged to know that there was indeed an eye under there—as well as horrible bruises around it. Race didn't know the specifics, but he knew that there was a horrible story lying there somewhere about child abuse and Blink's father being a sick asshole.
"Why are you here?" Race questioned. Blink quickly frowned in return, and Race realized how he must have come off. Happy as he was to see Blink here—the two rarely talked in the past week, as Blink was supposedly off in Queens—and finally get the chance to talk to him, he was a bit upset at what he considered this invasion of privacy. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "What I mean is… it's quite a surprise that the first time I see you when you come back is here… to what do I owe this occasion?"
"I haven't been in Queens, Racetrack. There's something I need to tell you."
Race nodded, still feeling a bit strange despite his faith that he and Blink didn't have any secrets. As far as Racetrack could think back, he'd told Blink everything there was for him to know, and the only thing Blink hadn't told him was the story of his abuse as a child. Maybe that was it. Maybe he had gone back to see his father? Who knew, really?
"Sit. Please" Race obliged and cleared away some papers from the top of a crate of milk. "Race… when I was younger… I… well… my father… he sexually abused me." Race's eyebrows shot up and he opened mouth to say something. Blink shook his head and put a finger to his lips. "Let me finish. I… he… he sexually abused me. I was nine at the time… and he… he was drunk, but he… well, we don't need to go into details. The point is, my father coerced me into doing a sexual act with him."
"Racetrack, what I want to say is… I… ever… I was old enough then to realize… I mean… I… e…" Blink sighed. Race watched him sincerely, knowing that this was a subject Blink avoided at all costs, and knew that he was about to say something truly important to him, yet truly hard to get out.
"I… Race, I have… f-f-f…f-f-f-f…" Blink stuttered quickly, obviously trying to come up with just the right words to say it. And Race was about on the edge of his seat. He equated the experience with a good horror story and it was coming to the climax. "I'm sexually attracted to boys."
Race immediately jumped up, shocked. "You… Blink… I… Blink, I… you… oh my god!" Blink's eyes looked tragic, and they turned towards Race, sadly. Suddenly, Racetrack felt rather self-conscious. Blink was… what did they call it? A boy-kisser? A… a fairy? Race thought about all of the times he had been with Blink, talked to Blink, touched Blink. Did that mean that all of this time Blink had just wanted to… to… the thought was too much and Race was overcome with fear. And now Blink seemed to be staring at him again!
Race backed up, and tripped, falling backwards onto a broken picture frame. He immediately jumped up to his feet. "Get away from me!" He shouted. "Stop looking at me like that! Stop… thinking about me like that!" Race shrieked. He was sure he was attracting attention, though people in this part of New York didn't care so much what you did. "Get away from me… you… you FAIRY!"
Race ran away in a panicked state, not sure what to do. He just ran as far as his legs would take him, not watching where he was going. He didn't notice a thing. Especially not Oscar Delancey standing right outside the alley.
---
Blink immediately crashed down onto a crate and wiped away tears from his eyes, dejected. He had finally come to terms with this himself, and his best friend, the one person who he trusted the most was scared and thought him a monster. Blink honestly didn't see how this situation could get any worse.
Oscar Delancey approached him, a grin on his face, brass knuckles and all. "Well. I didn't think this would be near so easy, fairy." Oscar spit out the word with a pure hatred on his tongue.
Blink was scared, but didn't let his guard down for a second. "I don't know what you're talking about!" He was sure the panic showing in his eyes would give him away.
"I think you know perfectly well what I'm talking about, boy-kisser. How do you want me to go about this, yellow-belly? You coward!""I'm not a coward. I've just never been tested."
Oscar laughed. "Well. Maybe it's about that time." That was the last thing Blink remembered. That, and the start of a heavy rainfall. Everything else went by too fast until he blacked out.
---
Race came back to his alley later that day after the sun had already fallen. Despite the rain, he needed the peace from the lodging house. As he approached, he found himself hoping that Blink was gone—though, even if he wasn't, Race was ready to talk. After about seven hours, he had decided that even if this whole idea was too foreign to him, he would keep Blink's secret, and try to understand.
Race was startled to see the blood all over his alley, and even more startled to see most of it leading to Blink's nose. Blink was lying on the ground, and in the dark, Race couldn't tell if he were breathing or not. Race hustled over, his mind full of frantic thoughts, the most present of them being Please don't let my best friend die. As Race kneeled down to Blink, he listened to the wheezy, sporadic breaths and multiple coughs that came in between them.
Race cried out for a doctor and looked into Blink's eyes. "What… Blink, how? How did it happen?"
"Oscar Delancey happened." Blink's voice was raspy, and Race, while not being a doctor, was sure that this was a bad change from the vibrant voice he was used to hearing. "Sure my face brings new meaning to the term knucklehead."
Race smiled a bit and rolled his eyes. "Huh? Tough crowd." Blink smiled. Race just shook his head. "If it was funny, then I'd be laughing." There was a silence for a bit, until Blink asked the question that was most inevitable. "I'm going to die, aren't I?"
Race didn't answer, but he was absolutely sure that the tears welling up in his eyes were a clear sign of what he thought. "Blink, I… need to tell you… I'll always love you. And I'll miss you… I… Blink, I… non dimenticherò mai, Blink. I'll never forget."
"Race… I should tell you… I… I should… tell you… you were never… I never…" Race nodded. He understood. Somehow, the back of his mind had already guessed that fact. Race opened his mouth to tell Blink that, but Blink shook his head. "No. Don't."
Race cried out in anguish, unsure. "But I have so much to say to you, Blink!"
"I'll always be listening. You of all people should know that… Racetrack, I… I…" Blink erupted into a fit of coughs. That was the last sound he made.
---
Looking back, Race remembered that within seconds after Blink died, the rain let up. He felt that this was an omen. Or perhaps a message. A message that wherever Race went, the light would be with him. It ensured him to keep his promise.
---
RnR