Title: Gundam Diaries Part 31 Duo
Author: Makoto Sagara
Archive: www.fanfiction.net, www.wufeiduo.net, www.foreverfandom.net, - Anywhere else, please ask first.
Category: Romance, Angst
Pairings: 2x5x2, 3x4, 1 plus 2, R plus 1
Rating: R
Warnings: shonen ai, language, angst, OOC, crazy Relena and torture of said onna
Disclaimers: Yeah, right, see, you're insane. I'm insane. Let's party. We all know that I don't own MSGW, so let's drop it before they come to take us away. (starts dancing)
A/N: And so it goes that this is the beginning of the end. Yes, that's right everyone. There are only five more chapters of this fic and the epilogue to go and then I will be done. I sat up with my brother and mapped out all the chapters and the sticky notes are taking over my computer. Poor Sparky the computer is covered in evil pink stickies, but I thought that they were only fitting as how they will soon die. (beams)
Dedication: To my brother, K-kun, for helping me map out these last six or so chapters and trying to help me get something done while I was a little bit bored. Your help was really invaluable, even if you really never know it. Also, many thanks go to all the reviewers and readers of this. Stick with me till the end, ne?
April 26th, AC 195... 21:45:50
Well, after spending a few days in Northern Africa, I was more than happy to go play with the other guys in the Himalayas to set up for the confrontation with that crazy bitch and her scary tagalong. Let's just say that OZ's involvement in Somalia and the surrounding countries won't be as heavy as it was before. Now, I can get onto the fun stuff that I can finally tell everyone about.
We're on Peacemillion right now for one. 'Fei's taking a long shower - I already had one - and Q and Tro are in the room next door, napping. I guess 'Fei and I are the only ones who haven't written up the details of the day, since the other two mentioned something about their cockpits and reports and journal entries. Guess that I'm not the only one who finds it therapeutic to write about what happens during a day's time. It's the nicest way to say what you feel without making everyone hate you, I suppose.
Anyway, I got up to the cabin yesterday, and was followed closely by Wufei. We quickly set up my special 'treat' for Relena. Everyone else thinks it's a bomb, but Relena should have fun watching a tape of the last time Fei-bebi and I boinked like bunnies here on Peacemillion. And if she doesn't, I'm sure that Doro-chan won't mind, once she stops hating me over the comment about waxing those brows she's got. Scary things....
Ok, so no sooner had we set that up when Q and T let all the cold air in from outside. Nothing has changed about the cold and me. I still hate it, and it still continues to try and freeze my ass off. Anyway, so we finished with all the preparations for our visitors around nine or so, and then the tiny cabin got really quiet. But, I was freezing my toes and nose off, and I guess I complained once too much, because 'Fei shoved me in front of the fireplace with a blanket and a warning to be quiet or go outside.
The next thing I knew, it was morning and 'Fei was shaking me awake. He was smiling faintly at me and I sat up, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes.
"Time?" I asked. I saw him glance at the one clock on the wall.
"Eight hundred. Are you ready for the day's plans?" he said.
"HELL YES! Hey, Q, ready to get Doro to eat out of your hand?" I yelled as I saw the blond come out of the W.C. [1]
"But of course," Quatre answered, his light blue eyes glowing dangerously. "Are you ready to talk to Relena again?"
"Breakfast is ready," Trowa said from the kitchenette area, and the sound of my stomach growling answered for me.
"I'll tell ya after some food," I said, running from the fireplace and to see what Tro had decided to spoil us with to eat. I wasn't disappointed as there were hash browns, eggs, toast, and orange juice sitting on the tiny table. "Where are we supposed to eat this, T-man?"
"Find somewhere, Duo," Wufei said from behind, and I answered by sticking my tongue out at him, before piling up the nearest plate I could find with so much food it was about to fall off. "Do you think you have enough?"
"Nope," I shot back, walking over to the couch with my plate very carefully. 'Waste not; want not' is what I always say. No use in actively wasting food, yanno?
Soon, everyone was sitting around, silently eating and, I guess, thinking. I know that I was thinking about what I was going to say to Relena and Dorothy. I had so much time to think about what I was going to say, and yet, I really didn't. Between the whole ordeal with Heero and Wufei and then the last mission I had, my confrontation with Ojou-san was far from my mind... Besides, who wants to think about some crazy bitch when there's such a sexy guy like my Wufei walking around? I would have to have been a total idiot, and I think we have established that I'm not one of those.
Anyhoo, (stole that from a story I found on the 'Net that came from the 20th century) when we were done eating, we all sat around one another, ready to start the day.
"So, who is going first to speak with them?" Trowa asked, breaking the silence.
"I AM," Quatre and I yelled at the same time.
"There is no way the both of you are going at the same time," Wufei said, glaring at the both of us, but getting one in return from me.
"No, that would hardly be productive. I would like to actually be able to have my last word with... Relena," Heero added, looking at Trowa and Quatre. I think he was really avoiding Wufei and I, but I couldn't prove it. Still can't, even now, but he's not here with us either.
"I suggest that I will go with Quatre, and Wufei can go with Duo," Trowa said.
"We hardly need babysitters. We are perfectly capable of containing ourselves," Quatre replied, the look on his face not reassuring anyone.
"I don't need anyone to hold my hand for this. I'm a big boy, and besides, there are some things that I want to say to her that no one but the two of us needs to know," I all but yelled. The three of them were annoying me with the implications of my impulsiveness. I am not that damn impulsive, and besides, this was Relena we were talking about. Were they afraid of me making out with the wacko who locked my boyfriend and I in a cabin in Siberia for a fucking week?
Wufei spoke up. "It is not about babysitters, Duo. It is the simple fact that there are two of them, and they will hardly be happy about being stuck up here with the five of us. It is a case of safety in numbers and back up. One can hardly talk to the other and still watch everything the other will do."
"Yes, I agree," stated Trowa, who was remaining the ever-present voice of reason.
"Whatever," I said, knowing they were right and looking at Q, who nodded, his face showing his unhappiness. "The Superman can watch his own ass against a couple of girls."
Heero opened his mouth to retort, but his laptop beeped. He got up and checked it. "Approaching, pink limo."
"Well, kids, it's show time," I said, moving towards the door for my boots. "Ready?" I looked at Wufei to see him nod and join me.
A few minutes later, we were all dressed for the most part, our shoes ready, bags packed, and everything put away except for Heero's laptop. We didn't have to wait much longer to hear the voices of the girls carrying inside.
"Relena, relax. If we get there five seconds later, I'm pretty sure that Heero isn't going to... spontaneously combust, or something silly like that," Dorothy said, sounding more than a mite annoyed to me
"You don't understand, Dorothy! If I'm even a second late, Heero will leave me. I just know it," Relena shrieked. At the sound of her voice, I felt my fists balling up, but I moved from the door, and stood next to Quatre.
"I'm going first, Catalonia," Relena said, her irritating voice trying to sound regal.
"Whatever, Relena, just go," Dorothy shot back, and there was a thump against the door and then a few whimpers that came from Relena.
"You didn't have to push me," the princess whined, thumping against the door a bit more.
"I didn't push you. I nearly lost my balance. I'm sorry you were in my way," Dorothy shot back, not sounding one bit sorry at all. Not that I blamed her much, and I found myself feeling bad about locking someone that quick with Relena for five seconds, let alone the three days we were going to trap them in the cabin/shack.
Then, the door opened to reveal Relena and Dorothy standing there. Relena was in this hideous pink snowsuit with matching hat, shoes and gloves. I nearly shuddered as she opened her mouth. Dorothy elbowed her in the ribs, and I took a look at the other blonde girl. She was dressed in a more pleasing colour, powder blue, and the look on her face was one of extreme pleasure and confusion.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Every one of us pilots shuddered as Relena's voice cut through the silence, and my left eye twitched. Heero reached for his gun, and was only stopped by Trowa shaking his head with a hand on 'Ro's arm.
To everyone's surprise, Quatre stepped up, a feral smile on his normally innocent looking face. "Hello, Miss Relena. Dorothy. Please, come in and sit down," he said, his voice cold and commanding. Both girls nodded dumbly and sat down on the couch, neither one fighting the presence of the rest of us. "Good. Now, this is what is going to happen," Q continued in that eerie voice. "Each of us has something to say to at least one of you." He looked pointedly at Dorothy, whose face seemed to register the fact that perhaps she was actually in danger.
"Heero?" Relena said, looking directly at him, and he gave her one of his infamous death glares. You know, the kind that doesn't really work on anyone.
Wufei snorted, and Trowa snickered. I just leveled my glare at the pink blob, wishing that she would just burn up with the power of my mind. Heero did the most incomprehensible thing. He grabbed his laptop from the table, walked to the door, snatched his jacket off the hooks by the door, and left, slamming the wooden structure behind him.
"Guess that's our cue to make an exit, 'Fei," I said, moving my eyes from Relena finally and walking to the door to get the hell out of there before I strangled the little bitch, making it impossible for anyone else get in a word edge-wise with her.
My lover and Heero followed me. Wufei surprised me by dragging me off to the side of the cabin, placing a hot, demanding kiss against my lips. I smiled and returned the kiss, happy but confused.
"What was that for, 'Fei?"
"I've wanted to do that since I saw you yesterday," he said quietly, keeping me as close as possible.
"Oh. Anything else?" I asked, smirking playfully at him.
"Yes, but not right now," he growled, pushing me away and walking towards the front door. I followed behind him, finally noticing how cold it was.
"'Fei? It's cold," I whined, trying to snuggle as close as I could to him.
Wufei growled, pulling me close. I sighed happily and rubbed up against him suggestively. I felt familiar eyes on me, and stuck my tongue out before burying my nose in Wufei's chest.
"Was that really necessary, Duo?" Wufei whispered. I shrugged.
"If he's gonna stare, I'd better give him something good to watch, right?"
Wufei snorted, but still held me close. It was cold, and there was no way he was gonna get away from me. Not even with Heero "Perfect Fucking Soldier" Yuy watching over the top of his laptop.
About twenty minutes later, Quatre came out, looking for all the world like a new man and as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I looked at him, then at Wufei, then at Heero, and then back at Q. He was smiling... But, it wasn't that cold smile he'd had for a while. It was a genuine smile, tinged with a little bit of mischievousness. I had to know...
"Er, Q, what happened?"
Quatre turned to look at me, his eyes reflecting the same odd mixture as his smile. "Nothing really. I just told them both what I thought, and well, when Dorothy said something out of line... I, uh, kind of... Well, let's just say that it was a good idea that Trowa was with me," he said, looking for all the world like a little kid telling his friends about a trick he had just pulled.
"Status?" Heero asked, for once looking human, and confused as hell.
"They're alive and awaiting the next 'visitors', as the case may be. Trowa's waiting for Duo and Wufei to come in before he leaves."
"Thanks for leaving them alive, and I promise not to do anything drastic myself. Got 'Feifei here to keep me in line," I said, winking at my lover, who was scowling. I started laughing. "Dun like that new name?"
"No," he snapped, striding over to the door and holding it open for me. I followed him, but on the way in, I shrugged and smiled at Quatre, who started to laugh like a maniac. "What did you do to Winner?"
"Nothing," I whispered, walking into the cabin. The scene before me was nearly hilarious. Relena looked as green as a spring leaf. Dorothy's face was battling between the colors white, red and green. She reminded me of some odd Christmas tree, and I really had to fight down the eruption of laughter that was bubbling up inside. "Thanks, Tro, we got it from here!"
"Good luck," he said, walking out to join his boyfriend. Wufei shut the door behind him and looked over at the two girls and scoffed in disgust.
I was about to say something, but before I even opened my mouth, I was suddenly attacked by a whirl of pink and dirty blonde. I raised my hands up to protect my face in a crossed fashion and when she landed, I pushed back with all my strength. Falling right on her stupid ass didn't even faze her. She just jumped back up and tried to grab my braid. I swept a foot out and took one of her legs from under her. She fell like a ton of bricks, and I grabbed a handful of her nasty hair and dragged her back to the couch.
"Do that again, and I will rip it out, you crazy bitch," I spat out at her. "You are already on my fucking list, and all I need is for you to try something stupid. We can call it self-defense, and I'm pretty sure no one would miss your dumb ass."
The ground seemed to shake all around us, and I smiled. "Well, it looks like your little entourage is now buried under a few layers of snow," I said coolly.
"What are you talking about, Maxwell?" Dorothy asked, her face finally settling on a lovely white shade.
I grinned at her. "Well, you didn't think that we were just going to let you waltz away after this, did you? I'm sure that Q told ya two that you'd have a bit of a... vacation. A trip from reality. Time to cool your heads, literally."
Relena looked at me and I sneered. "Oh, sound familiar, does it?" I asked. "I wonder why?" I made a mock of trying to think about. "Oh! Maybe because that's almost word for word what you told 'Fei and me when you locked us in that fucking cabin in Siberia?" I moved to get closer to her, but a hand on my arm stopped me. I looked around to see Wufei scowling, a predatory look on his face.
"I really must thank you for that experience, xi ai," he growled, his eyes dangerously slitted at her. "Fortunately for you, I don't hit women, even if they deserve it."
"You wouldn't dare!" she shrieked, trying to get up from the couch. I responded by shoving her down.
"Hell, he might not, but I do. Now, shut the fuck up. Your stupid little plan backfired, dumb ass," I said
"I told you that was a dumb idea, Relena," Dorothy interrupted.
"And right you were, Doro-chan. Want me to tell you why you fucked up so royally, Ojou-san? I wasn't a concern with Heero until after you locked 'Fei and I up in that cabin. He had no interest in me until that point in time, Stupid. Not to mention that you have officially pissed off five very dangerous criminals, which, the last time I checked, isn't something conducive to living a long and prosperous life. But, maybe that's just me."
"Maxwell, back down," Wufei said, his eyes cool.
"What? I'm just telling her the truth. It's not my fault that she underestimated me by thinking I was some dumb guy out to get laid." He raised one of those delicious eyebrows at me, and I shrugged. "Okay, so I was out to get laid, but I am not dumb. And that was the biggest mistake of your life. I saved you from being killed by Heero, and you repay me by throwing yourself in front of him, and then you do this shit. Well, Ojou-san, your number's up. Shinigami is in the house, and he's brought along his fire-breathing Dragon to play."
The Pink Pimple let out a whimper, and my smile grew colder as I looked at her. "A wise man once said that only a fool thinks the man that plays the fool is as such. Guess what that makes you?"
Relena sputtered and I tried to advance upon her, only to be grabbed forcefully by Wufei and kissed harshly. I purred as a hand pulled my hips towards his, and lost all train of thought as he continued to ravish my mouth with his own. When we pulled away for breath, I looked over my shoulder. Dorothy looked like she wanted to clap, and Relena was grinning.
"What are you smiling for, xi ai?" Wufei spat, his hands still wrapped around me possessively. "Do you actually think that your plan worked?"
I snorted. "Yes, she does. Maybe I should tell her that after I kissed Heero, he hit me, and then you came to my rescue, and that was way before she trapped us in that cabin. What do you think, 'Fei-bebi?"
Wufei smirked and turned me around. I could feel the proof of his passion for me pressing into my ass, and smiled. "I think it's a wonderful idea, xin ai," he whispered, licking my neck by my ear.
I purred, and regretfully pulled away. "Hmm, I don't think she's even worth that. But you know what, Ojou-san? One day, you'll realize that your obsession is a very scary thing and that day, I will gladly hit you in repayment. Oh, and Doro-chan, if I were you, I'd look into getting those dead small animals on your forehead taken care of," I said, grabbing Wufei and pulling him outside. "Okay, 'Ro, you're up. Don't make too much of a mess," I joked, smiling widely.
Heero dropped his laptop into Trowa's hands, quickly walking inside, and not saying anything to us. I cringed as Relena screamed out his name in her scary mating call. The door was slammed a bit hard, and then all was silent. I walked over to look at the laptop, and saw that rescue crews had already been informed of the avalanche.
"Guess they won't be staying buried for too long, eh?" I asked.
"I suppose not, Duo," Quatre replied, smiling widely. I returned the smile before walking over to Wufei.
"Oh, that reminds me. Howie said that I could bring my friends down to Peacemillion to warm up after our little mission up here. Anyone interested?" I looked up to see Wufei nod, and then turned to the blond and my bud.
"I don't see why not," Quatre murmured, looking at Trowa.
"I think it would be a nice change," Trowa added.
"Well, then it's settled. I'll tell Howie as soon as we head out. I think four hours is enough of a warning. What about you?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at my blond accomplice.
Quatre snickered, and I turned to look at Wufei. "'Smatter, Fei? Still upset with that nickname I called you earlier?"
"No," he said quietly before looking at me. "By the way, the way you inflected my name meant you were calling me 'fat fat'." I blushed.
"Er, sorry, Wufei. Didn't mean it like that," I responded, coming up to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. "You are so not fat," I purred in his ear. "Now, what's wrong with you?"
"Are... are you going to invite Yuy as well?"
I shrugged. "Hadn't thought about it, I guess. You want me to?"
He sighed. "I am uncertain, but it seems only fair to extend the invitation to him as well."
I nodded, not feeling one bit better about the situation. Before anyone could say anything else, there was a sharp smack and the sound of stomping and a girl crying. We all turned as a group to look at the door where Heero was coming out, and I hastily dropped my arms from the familiar embrace around Wufei.
"We are done here," Heero stated flatly. He retrieved his laptop from the surprised Trowa, and I got a good look at his left cheek. There was a huge handprint there. I'll tell you one thing; Ojou-san has a mean right hand.
"Um, Heero," Quatre started, but he quickly let it die as he took in the cold look on Stone Boy's face.
I was shoved a bit forward, and I glared at my lover, but turned to face Heero. "Er, 'Ro, Howie invited us all back to..."
"No," he interrupted. "Thank you, but no. I'd rather not." He then closed his laptop and quickly hiked back to the little cliff we'd managed to find to shelter our Gundams under.
I cut a 'well, I tried' look at the other three, and Quatre just sighed. "I don't know. Why don't we just leave? It's cold, and I'm a bit worn out from dealing with them," he said, and he did indeed sound tired. It didn't even surprise me when Trowa scooped him up, threw him over his tall, broad shoulder, and carted the blond off, while he protested about being able to walk.
"Prove it," Trowa said, and that was the last that Wufei and I heard as they disappeared.
"Come on, Duo. Let's head off to see Howard and get out of this snow and cold. If I never had to be around it, it will be too soon for my tastes," Wufei replied, and I just smiled.
"Stole the words right out of my mouth, Justice Boy," I quipped, running as he turned on me and chased me to our Gundams.
We had no sooner taken off from under the cliff than a huge explosion was heard and a few solid sheets of snow and ice came down and buried the cabin. I patched into Wing. "Think it was big enough, 'Ro?"
"No. It was adequate for the situation," he said coldly before cutting the link. I just shrugged it off and headed due south and east. I then hailed Quatre and Trowa.
"Yo, you want the coordinates in case you all lose me? 'Cuz I'm not taking any chances and I'm using the cloaks," I said happily. Wufei already had 'em, so I wasn't worried about my sexy Fei-bebi.
"That would be nice," Trowa deadpanned, and Quatre just nodded.
"Alright, sending 'em now," I said, typing into the small keypad at my right. "'Kay, sent. See you two lovebirds there!" I cut the link and then put on 'Scythe's devastating cloaks and scramblers. I wouldn't be able to get any signals with those on, but I didn't think that I would need to.
Four hours later, I landed on the deck of Peacemillion, hopped down from 'Scythe's cockpit, was engulfed in about five zillion hugs and even a few kisses, and then saw my friends standing there.
"See you all made it here safely," I replied sheepishly.
"Well, Kiddo, who are you two friends? Hello Wufei," Howard called, coming closer.
"Heya, Howie. This Blondie here is Quatre. The tall silent one with the bang is Trowa. You know 'Fei already," I said around a yawn. "Hmm, that was fun, but I think I need to type up my report, get a long shower, and then get some shut eye."
"Well, I can get a few extra rooms set up for your two friends," Howard offered, eyeing Q and Tro.
"Dun bother, Howie. They can stay in 'Fei's room, and he can stay with me." I winked and dragged the other three with me. "The rooms have phone lines that you can hook your computers up to, if you need them. There's an acceptable sized bed in there. Still waiting to be slept in and everything," I quipped, shooting a look at Wufei, who seemed to be determined to mimic a beet.
We reached my room, and I pointed to the room next to it. "That's 'Fei's room. Notice the lack of personality as you enter. Q, you, me, dining hall in an hour."
"All riiiiight," Quatre drawled as Trowa pushed him inside the next room. I snickered as Wufei shoved me through the door of our room.
"Lack of personality?" he growled. "I'll show you lack of personality."
I stretched, taking off my jacket in the blistering heat and smiled. "I bet you will, but I'm gonna shower, type up my report while you shower, and then I'm taking Q out for a field trip. We can play tonight, okay?" I gave him a quick kiss and tore ass to the bathroom.
And that's about it. Fei's shower has stopped, so I think it's time that I got the hell out of here before he tries to make me live up to that part of the bargain before I'm ready to. Eh, I'll try and keep you posted. If I can, that is.
Till next time, my name's Duo Maxwell, and you are my biatch! See ya!
Notes:
[1] W.C. - Water Closet. Sorry, I've been rereading The Diary of Anne Frank as of late, and I think that term for the restroom just stuck with me.
Author: Makoto Sagara
Archive: www.fanfiction.net, www.wufeiduo.net, www.foreverfandom.net, - Anywhere else, please ask first.
Category: Romance, Angst
Pairings: 2x5x2, 3x4, 1 plus 2, R plus 1
Rating: R
Warnings: shonen ai, language, angst, OOC, crazy Relena and torture of said onna
Disclaimers: Yeah, right, see, you're insane. I'm insane. Let's party. We all know that I don't own MSGW, so let's drop it before they come to take us away. (starts dancing)
A/N: And so it goes that this is the beginning of the end. Yes, that's right everyone. There are only five more chapters of this fic and the epilogue to go and then I will be done. I sat up with my brother and mapped out all the chapters and the sticky notes are taking over my computer. Poor Sparky the computer is covered in evil pink stickies, but I thought that they were only fitting as how they will soon die. (beams)
Dedication: To my brother, K-kun, for helping me map out these last six or so chapters and trying to help me get something done while I was a little bit bored. Your help was really invaluable, even if you really never know it. Also, many thanks go to all the reviewers and readers of this. Stick with me till the end, ne?
April 26th, AC 195... 21:45:50
Well, after spending a few days in Northern Africa, I was more than happy to go play with the other guys in the Himalayas to set up for the confrontation with that crazy bitch and her scary tagalong. Let's just say that OZ's involvement in Somalia and the surrounding countries won't be as heavy as it was before. Now, I can get onto the fun stuff that I can finally tell everyone about.
We're on Peacemillion right now for one. 'Fei's taking a long shower - I already had one - and Q and Tro are in the room next door, napping. I guess 'Fei and I are the only ones who haven't written up the details of the day, since the other two mentioned something about their cockpits and reports and journal entries. Guess that I'm not the only one who finds it therapeutic to write about what happens during a day's time. It's the nicest way to say what you feel without making everyone hate you, I suppose.
Anyway, I got up to the cabin yesterday, and was followed closely by Wufei. We quickly set up my special 'treat' for Relena. Everyone else thinks it's a bomb, but Relena should have fun watching a tape of the last time Fei-bebi and I boinked like bunnies here on Peacemillion. And if she doesn't, I'm sure that Doro-chan won't mind, once she stops hating me over the comment about waxing those brows she's got. Scary things....
Ok, so no sooner had we set that up when Q and T let all the cold air in from outside. Nothing has changed about the cold and me. I still hate it, and it still continues to try and freeze my ass off. Anyway, so we finished with all the preparations for our visitors around nine or so, and then the tiny cabin got really quiet. But, I was freezing my toes and nose off, and I guess I complained once too much, because 'Fei shoved me in front of the fireplace with a blanket and a warning to be quiet or go outside.
The next thing I knew, it was morning and 'Fei was shaking me awake. He was smiling faintly at me and I sat up, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes.
"Time?" I asked. I saw him glance at the one clock on the wall.
"Eight hundred. Are you ready for the day's plans?" he said.
"HELL YES! Hey, Q, ready to get Doro to eat out of your hand?" I yelled as I saw the blond come out of the W.C. [1]
"But of course," Quatre answered, his light blue eyes glowing dangerously. "Are you ready to talk to Relena again?"
"Breakfast is ready," Trowa said from the kitchenette area, and the sound of my stomach growling answered for me.
"I'll tell ya after some food," I said, running from the fireplace and to see what Tro had decided to spoil us with to eat. I wasn't disappointed as there were hash browns, eggs, toast, and orange juice sitting on the tiny table. "Where are we supposed to eat this, T-man?"
"Find somewhere, Duo," Wufei said from behind, and I answered by sticking my tongue out at him, before piling up the nearest plate I could find with so much food it was about to fall off. "Do you think you have enough?"
"Nope," I shot back, walking over to the couch with my plate very carefully. 'Waste not; want not' is what I always say. No use in actively wasting food, yanno?
Soon, everyone was sitting around, silently eating and, I guess, thinking. I know that I was thinking about what I was going to say to Relena and Dorothy. I had so much time to think about what I was going to say, and yet, I really didn't. Between the whole ordeal with Heero and Wufei and then the last mission I had, my confrontation with Ojou-san was far from my mind... Besides, who wants to think about some crazy bitch when there's such a sexy guy like my Wufei walking around? I would have to have been a total idiot, and I think we have established that I'm not one of those.
Anyhoo, (stole that from a story I found on the 'Net that came from the 20th century) when we were done eating, we all sat around one another, ready to start the day.
"So, who is going first to speak with them?" Trowa asked, breaking the silence.
"I AM," Quatre and I yelled at the same time.
"There is no way the both of you are going at the same time," Wufei said, glaring at the both of us, but getting one in return from me.
"No, that would hardly be productive. I would like to actually be able to have my last word with... Relena," Heero added, looking at Trowa and Quatre. I think he was really avoiding Wufei and I, but I couldn't prove it. Still can't, even now, but he's not here with us either.
"I suggest that I will go with Quatre, and Wufei can go with Duo," Trowa said.
"We hardly need babysitters. We are perfectly capable of containing ourselves," Quatre replied, the look on his face not reassuring anyone.
"I don't need anyone to hold my hand for this. I'm a big boy, and besides, there are some things that I want to say to her that no one but the two of us needs to know," I all but yelled. The three of them were annoying me with the implications of my impulsiveness. I am not that damn impulsive, and besides, this was Relena we were talking about. Were they afraid of me making out with the wacko who locked my boyfriend and I in a cabin in Siberia for a fucking week?
Wufei spoke up. "It is not about babysitters, Duo. It is the simple fact that there are two of them, and they will hardly be happy about being stuck up here with the five of us. It is a case of safety in numbers and back up. One can hardly talk to the other and still watch everything the other will do."
"Yes, I agree," stated Trowa, who was remaining the ever-present voice of reason.
"Whatever," I said, knowing they were right and looking at Q, who nodded, his face showing his unhappiness. "The Superman can watch his own ass against a couple of girls."
Heero opened his mouth to retort, but his laptop beeped. He got up and checked it. "Approaching, pink limo."
"Well, kids, it's show time," I said, moving towards the door for my boots. "Ready?" I looked at Wufei to see him nod and join me.
A few minutes later, we were all dressed for the most part, our shoes ready, bags packed, and everything put away except for Heero's laptop. We didn't have to wait much longer to hear the voices of the girls carrying inside.
"Relena, relax. If we get there five seconds later, I'm pretty sure that Heero isn't going to... spontaneously combust, or something silly like that," Dorothy said, sounding more than a mite annoyed to me
"You don't understand, Dorothy! If I'm even a second late, Heero will leave me. I just know it," Relena shrieked. At the sound of her voice, I felt my fists balling up, but I moved from the door, and stood next to Quatre.
"I'm going first, Catalonia," Relena said, her irritating voice trying to sound regal.
"Whatever, Relena, just go," Dorothy shot back, and there was a thump against the door and then a few whimpers that came from Relena.
"You didn't have to push me," the princess whined, thumping against the door a bit more.
"I didn't push you. I nearly lost my balance. I'm sorry you were in my way," Dorothy shot back, not sounding one bit sorry at all. Not that I blamed her much, and I found myself feeling bad about locking someone that quick with Relena for five seconds, let alone the three days we were going to trap them in the cabin/shack.
Then, the door opened to reveal Relena and Dorothy standing there. Relena was in this hideous pink snowsuit with matching hat, shoes and gloves. I nearly shuddered as she opened her mouth. Dorothy elbowed her in the ribs, and I took a look at the other blonde girl. She was dressed in a more pleasing colour, powder blue, and the look on her face was one of extreme pleasure and confusion.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Every one of us pilots shuddered as Relena's voice cut through the silence, and my left eye twitched. Heero reached for his gun, and was only stopped by Trowa shaking his head with a hand on 'Ro's arm.
To everyone's surprise, Quatre stepped up, a feral smile on his normally innocent looking face. "Hello, Miss Relena. Dorothy. Please, come in and sit down," he said, his voice cold and commanding. Both girls nodded dumbly and sat down on the couch, neither one fighting the presence of the rest of us. "Good. Now, this is what is going to happen," Q continued in that eerie voice. "Each of us has something to say to at least one of you." He looked pointedly at Dorothy, whose face seemed to register the fact that perhaps she was actually in danger.
"Heero?" Relena said, looking directly at him, and he gave her one of his infamous death glares. You know, the kind that doesn't really work on anyone.
Wufei snorted, and Trowa snickered. I just leveled my glare at the pink blob, wishing that she would just burn up with the power of my mind. Heero did the most incomprehensible thing. He grabbed his laptop from the table, walked to the door, snatched his jacket off the hooks by the door, and left, slamming the wooden structure behind him.
"Guess that's our cue to make an exit, 'Fei," I said, moving my eyes from Relena finally and walking to the door to get the hell out of there before I strangled the little bitch, making it impossible for anyone else get in a word edge-wise with her.
My lover and Heero followed me. Wufei surprised me by dragging me off to the side of the cabin, placing a hot, demanding kiss against my lips. I smiled and returned the kiss, happy but confused.
"What was that for, 'Fei?"
"I've wanted to do that since I saw you yesterday," he said quietly, keeping me as close as possible.
"Oh. Anything else?" I asked, smirking playfully at him.
"Yes, but not right now," he growled, pushing me away and walking towards the front door. I followed behind him, finally noticing how cold it was.
"'Fei? It's cold," I whined, trying to snuggle as close as I could to him.
Wufei growled, pulling me close. I sighed happily and rubbed up against him suggestively. I felt familiar eyes on me, and stuck my tongue out before burying my nose in Wufei's chest.
"Was that really necessary, Duo?" Wufei whispered. I shrugged.
"If he's gonna stare, I'd better give him something good to watch, right?"
Wufei snorted, but still held me close. It was cold, and there was no way he was gonna get away from me. Not even with Heero "Perfect Fucking Soldier" Yuy watching over the top of his laptop.
About twenty minutes later, Quatre came out, looking for all the world like a new man and as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I looked at him, then at Wufei, then at Heero, and then back at Q. He was smiling... But, it wasn't that cold smile he'd had for a while. It was a genuine smile, tinged with a little bit of mischievousness. I had to know...
"Er, Q, what happened?"
Quatre turned to look at me, his eyes reflecting the same odd mixture as his smile. "Nothing really. I just told them both what I thought, and well, when Dorothy said something out of line... I, uh, kind of... Well, let's just say that it was a good idea that Trowa was with me," he said, looking for all the world like a little kid telling his friends about a trick he had just pulled.
"Status?" Heero asked, for once looking human, and confused as hell.
"They're alive and awaiting the next 'visitors', as the case may be. Trowa's waiting for Duo and Wufei to come in before he leaves."
"Thanks for leaving them alive, and I promise not to do anything drastic myself. Got 'Feifei here to keep me in line," I said, winking at my lover, who was scowling. I started laughing. "Dun like that new name?"
"No," he snapped, striding over to the door and holding it open for me. I followed him, but on the way in, I shrugged and smiled at Quatre, who started to laugh like a maniac. "What did you do to Winner?"
"Nothing," I whispered, walking into the cabin. The scene before me was nearly hilarious. Relena looked as green as a spring leaf. Dorothy's face was battling between the colors white, red and green. She reminded me of some odd Christmas tree, and I really had to fight down the eruption of laughter that was bubbling up inside. "Thanks, Tro, we got it from here!"
"Good luck," he said, walking out to join his boyfriend. Wufei shut the door behind him and looked over at the two girls and scoffed in disgust.
I was about to say something, but before I even opened my mouth, I was suddenly attacked by a whirl of pink and dirty blonde. I raised my hands up to protect my face in a crossed fashion and when she landed, I pushed back with all my strength. Falling right on her stupid ass didn't even faze her. She just jumped back up and tried to grab my braid. I swept a foot out and took one of her legs from under her. She fell like a ton of bricks, and I grabbed a handful of her nasty hair and dragged her back to the couch.
"Do that again, and I will rip it out, you crazy bitch," I spat out at her. "You are already on my fucking list, and all I need is for you to try something stupid. We can call it self-defense, and I'm pretty sure no one would miss your dumb ass."
The ground seemed to shake all around us, and I smiled. "Well, it looks like your little entourage is now buried under a few layers of snow," I said coolly.
"What are you talking about, Maxwell?" Dorothy asked, her face finally settling on a lovely white shade.
I grinned at her. "Well, you didn't think that we were just going to let you waltz away after this, did you? I'm sure that Q told ya two that you'd have a bit of a... vacation. A trip from reality. Time to cool your heads, literally."
Relena looked at me and I sneered. "Oh, sound familiar, does it?" I asked. "I wonder why?" I made a mock of trying to think about. "Oh! Maybe because that's almost word for word what you told 'Fei and me when you locked us in that fucking cabin in Siberia?" I moved to get closer to her, but a hand on my arm stopped me. I looked around to see Wufei scowling, a predatory look on his face.
"I really must thank you for that experience, xi ai," he growled, his eyes dangerously slitted at her. "Fortunately for you, I don't hit women, even if they deserve it."
"You wouldn't dare!" she shrieked, trying to get up from the couch. I responded by shoving her down.
"Hell, he might not, but I do. Now, shut the fuck up. Your stupid little plan backfired, dumb ass," I said
"I told you that was a dumb idea, Relena," Dorothy interrupted.
"And right you were, Doro-chan. Want me to tell you why you fucked up so royally, Ojou-san? I wasn't a concern with Heero until after you locked 'Fei and I up in that cabin. He had no interest in me until that point in time, Stupid. Not to mention that you have officially pissed off five very dangerous criminals, which, the last time I checked, isn't something conducive to living a long and prosperous life. But, maybe that's just me."
"Maxwell, back down," Wufei said, his eyes cool.
"What? I'm just telling her the truth. It's not my fault that she underestimated me by thinking I was some dumb guy out to get laid." He raised one of those delicious eyebrows at me, and I shrugged. "Okay, so I was out to get laid, but I am not dumb. And that was the biggest mistake of your life. I saved you from being killed by Heero, and you repay me by throwing yourself in front of him, and then you do this shit. Well, Ojou-san, your number's up. Shinigami is in the house, and he's brought along his fire-breathing Dragon to play."
The Pink Pimple let out a whimper, and my smile grew colder as I looked at her. "A wise man once said that only a fool thinks the man that plays the fool is as such. Guess what that makes you?"
Relena sputtered and I tried to advance upon her, only to be grabbed forcefully by Wufei and kissed harshly. I purred as a hand pulled my hips towards his, and lost all train of thought as he continued to ravish my mouth with his own. When we pulled away for breath, I looked over my shoulder. Dorothy looked like she wanted to clap, and Relena was grinning.
"What are you smiling for, xi ai?" Wufei spat, his hands still wrapped around me possessively. "Do you actually think that your plan worked?"
I snorted. "Yes, she does. Maybe I should tell her that after I kissed Heero, he hit me, and then you came to my rescue, and that was way before she trapped us in that cabin. What do you think, 'Fei-bebi?"
Wufei smirked and turned me around. I could feel the proof of his passion for me pressing into my ass, and smiled. "I think it's a wonderful idea, xin ai," he whispered, licking my neck by my ear.
I purred, and regretfully pulled away. "Hmm, I don't think she's even worth that. But you know what, Ojou-san? One day, you'll realize that your obsession is a very scary thing and that day, I will gladly hit you in repayment. Oh, and Doro-chan, if I were you, I'd look into getting those dead small animals on your forehead taken care of," I said, grabbing Wufei and pulling him outside. "Okay, 'Ro, you're up. Don't make too much of a mess," I joked, smiling widely.
Heero dropped his laptop into Trowa's hands, quickly walking inside, and not saying anything to us. I cringed as Relena screamed out his name in her scary mating call. The door was slammed a bit hard, and then all was silent. I walked over to look at the laptop, and saw that rescue crews had already been informed of the avalanche.
"Guess they won't be staying buried for too long, eh?" I asked.
"I suppose not, Duo," Quatre replied, smiling widely. I returned the smile before walking over to Wufei.
"Oh, that reminds me. Howie said that I could bring my friends down to Peacemillion to warm up after our little mission up here. Anyone interested?" I looked up to see Wufei nod, and then turned to the blond and my bud.
"I don't see why not," Quatre murmured, looking at Trowa.
"I think it would be a nice change," Trowa added.
"Well, then it's settled. I'll tell Howie as soon as we head out. I think four hours is enough of a warning. What about you?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at my blond accomplice.
Quatre snickered, and I turned to look at Wufei. "'Smatter, Fei? Still upset with that nickname I called you earlier?"
"No," he said quietly before looking at me. "By the way, the way you inflected my name meant you were calling me 'fat fat'." I blushed.
"Er, sorry, Wufei. Didn't mean it like that," I responded, coming up to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. "You are so not fat," I purred in his ear. "Now, what's wrong with you?"
"Are... are you going to invite Yuy as well?"
I shrugged. "Hadn't thought about it, I guess. You want me to?"
He sighed. "I am uncertain, but it seems only fair to extend the invitation to him as well."
I nodded, not feeling one bit better about the situation. Before anyone could say anything else, there was a sharp smack and the sound of stomping and a girl crying. We all turned as a group to look at the door where Heero was coming out, and I hastily dropped my arms from the familiar embrace around Wufei.
"We are done here," Heero stated flatly. He retrieved his laptop from the surprised Trowa, and I got a good look at his left cheek. There was a huge handprint there. I'll tell you one thing; Ojou-san has a mean right hand.
"Um, Heero," Quatre started, but he quickly let it die as he took in the cold look on Stone Boy's face.
I was shoved a bit forward, and I glared at my lover, but turned to face Heero. "Er, 'Ro, Howie invited us all back to..."
"No," he interrupted. "Thank you, but no. I'd rather not." He then closed his laptop and quickly hiked back to the little cliff we'd managed to find to shelter our Gundams under.
I cut a 'well, I tried' look at the other three, and Quatre just sighed. "I don't know. Why don't we just leave? It's cold, and I'm a bit worn out from dealing with them," he said, and he did indeed sound tired. It didn't even surprise me when Trowa scooped him up, threw him over his tall, broad shoulder, and carted the blond off, while he protested about being able to walk.
"Prove it," Trowa said, and that was the last that Wufei and I heard as they disappeared.
"Come on, Duo. Let's head off to see Howard and get out of this snow and cold. If I never had to be around it, it will be too soon for my tastes," Wufei replied, and I just smiled.
"Stole the words right out of my mouth, Justice Boy," I quipped, running as he turned on me and chased me to our Gundams.
We had no sooner taken off from under the cliff than a huge explosion was heard and a few solid sheets of snow and ice came down and buried the cabin. I patched into Wing. "Think it was big enough, 'Ro?"
"No. It was adequate for the situation," he said coldly before cutting the link. I just shrugged it off and headed due south and east. I then hailed Quatre and Trowa.
"Yo, you want the coordinates in case you all lose me? 'Cuz I'm not taking any chances and I'm using the cloaks," I said happily. Wufei already had 'em, so I wasn't worried about my sexy Fei-bebi.
"That would be nice," Trowa deadpanned, and Quatre just nodded.
"Alright, sending 'em now," I said, typing into the small keypad at my right. "'Kay, sent. See you two lovebirds there!" I cut the link and then put on 'Scythe's devastating cloaks and scramblers. I wouldn't be able to get any signals with those on, but I didn't think that I would need to.
Four hours later, I landed on the deck of Peacemillion, hopped down from 'Scythe's cockpit, was engulfed in about five zillion hugs and even a few kisses, and then saw my friends standing there.
"See you all made it here safely," I replied sheepishly.
"Well, Kiddo, who are you two friends? Hello Wufei," Howard called, coming closer.
"Heya, Howie. This Blondie here is Quatre. The tall silent one with the bang is Trowa. You know 'Fei already," I said around a yawn. "Hmm, that was fun, but I think I need to type up my report, get a long shower, and then get some shut eye."
"Well, I can get a few extra rooms set up for your two friends," Howard offered, eyeing Q and Tro.
"Dun bother, Howie. They can stay in 'Fei's room, and he can stay with me." I winked and dragged the other three with me. "The rooms have phone lines that you can hook your computers up to, if you need them. There's an acceptable sized bed in there. Still waiting to be slept in and everything," I quipped, shooting a look at Wufei, who seemed to be determined to mimic a beet.
We reached my room, and I pointed to the room next to it. "That's 'Fei's room. Notice the lack of personality as you enter. Q, you, me, dining hall in an hour."
"All riiiiight," Quatre drawled as Trowa pushed him inside the next room. I snickered as Wufei shoved me through the door of our room.
"Lack of personality?" he growled. "I'll show you lack of personality."
I stretched, taking off my jacket in the blistering heat and smiled. "I bet you will, but I'm gonna shower, type up my report while you shower, and then I'm taking Q out for a field trip. We can play tonight, okay?" I gave him a quick kiss and tore ass to the bathroom.
And that's about it. Fei's shower has stopped, so I think it's time that I got the hell out of here before he tries to make me live up to that part of the bargain before I'm ready to. Eh, I'll try and keep you posted. If I can, that is.
Till next time, my name's Duo Maxwell, and you are my biatch! See ya!
Notes:
[1] W.C. - Water Closet. Sorry, I've been rereading The Diary of Anne Frank as of late, and I think that term for the restroom just stuck with me.