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So goodbye, go ahead and fight it
Till you find out who you are,
And I, I will keep my love unspoken
Somewhere in my broken heart.

~~Billy Dean, "Somewhere in my broken heart."
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Gordo read the article. "This is what they wanted?"

I nodded. "Your editor told me that it was exactly what he wanted. They wanted an article with a bunch a scientific stuff, and then something to get the ratings up. They're trying to appeal to a different, bigger audience."

"It's a men's business magazine! Who else reads it besides middle-aged business men!" He scratches his head as he closes the magazine. "I shouldn't have suggested this to you. I just figured maybe it would help you get some things straight, but it seems to have just served as a way to diss men. You know, I don't appreciate being called scum."

"Gordo, you're not scum. Not to me. Now, who knows about your girlfriend. To her, you might be scum," I matter-of-factly say.

Gordo stands up from the kitchen table where we are seated, throws the magazine down, and says, "Lizzie, seriously, get over it."

"I am over it," I lie. "I'm just spreading around my education."

"You're twenty-three years old! The only education you have on the topic of romance is about a jerk guy who you dated solely based on appearance who cheated on you. Now you are seeking revenge on every guy you know. You won't give anyone a chance to have a relationship with you."

"Good!" I shout, standing up as well. "You're the one who wanted me to write an article about it!"

"Not about how men are scum!"

"But men are scum!"

"What's really behind these theories? What are you hiding?"

"Nothing. What you see is what you get. I just wish it was the same way with you!"

He growls in frustration and leans over the table. "Is this man hating just because Ronnie cheated on you? Because he found someone he liked more, someone who had more of his interests? Someone more designed for him? Come on, Lizzie! Tell me what your problem is!"

"You're just the same!" I shout, as I move around the table to him. "You're going to promise that girl the world! You'll promise her a large wedding and a comfy home!" He pushes past me into the living room. I follow him. "You'll kiss her and tell her how much she means to you, and then, as soon as she feels secure with your affection, you'll drop her! You'll find someone else and leave her to clean up after you!"

"Lizzie!" He shouts, spinning around with a flash of anger in his eyes.

I'm startled and back off. He plops himself down on the couch, head in his hands.

"It's not always men that are the scum, Lizzie." He pauses, and looks up at me. "She cheated on me. Cathy cheated on me with some guy from her office. I don't mean just going out with some guy, either. She didn't want to rush things with me, but when it came to him she ran the whole mile," He pauses again as I sit down by him. I'd never seen him torn up over a girl before. "I came to her office with some flowers. I was going to surprise her with lunch, but when I got there, I found them both on the couch in her office, and a pile of clothes in the floor beside them."

He leans back against the couch. "I really liked her, Lizzie. I think I loved her."

I feel a tinge of jealousy, because no way could she deserve his affection. I take his hand. "Gordo, you deserve so much more than her."

"I can't handle this right now," He says, letting go of my hand and standing up, heading towards his room.

I stare after him and ponder going to check on him, but decide against it. Miranda bursts through the door with the magazine. She just stares at me until I ask, "What did you think?"

"About what?"

"My article?"

"I think its always about you, that's what I think. You fall for some guy and its like men are worthy of some kind of hero worship. You get dumped and suddenly their sucking commitment phobic buttholes. I'm sorry, Lizzie, but the world does not revolve around your romantic status."

I stare at her open mouthed for a minute. "Oh my gosh, Miranda. You're in love."

A broad smile overtakes her face. "Yes! He's so great!"

I take one look at her, and ask, "Did you two…"

Her smile grows larger, although almost impossible, as she nods. "Yeah, and it was amazing, ya know? He's just so amazing!"

"Actually, I wouldn't know."

"Oh yeah, that's right. You've never gone that far before. How you've managed that is beyond me!"

I walk toward the kitchen and Miranda follows. I hop up on the kitchen counter. "No, not that! I mean I wouldn't know how amazing he is, considering I've never met him."

"Right. Maybe I should invite him over sometime!" Miranda paces around the kitchen table. "I'll give him a home cooked meal! And Gordo can bring his girlfriend, and you can," she suddenly stops as she looks toward me. "Oh, Lizzie, I am so sorry. That would be a bad idea."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine."

"Well, I do know a few guys I would love to set you up with."

"Actually, Gordo wouldn't invite his girlfriend either. They broke up."

"That's perfect!" Miranda exclaims, way too overjoyed. "I mean, that's too bad. But at least now you won't be alone. It can be a double date dinner!"

"Those are nice alliterations, but how about this; you just invite what's-his-name,"

"Michael."

"You invite Michael to dinner here, and Gordo and I will approve or disprove him. Think of it as taking your boyfriend home to meet the parents."

"That would make me nervous!"

"Good. Then you won't have the time or energy to bother with setting up your best friends," I smile at her and hop off the counter.

She looks around, and notices Gordo's coat. "Where is Gordo?"

I point to his closet, er, room. Miranda immediately heads in that direction. I follow her, glad that she's in the lead. She knocks, then just opens the door without a response. The dark room is lit up from the light in the kitchen, revealing Gordo laying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, arms crossed over his chest.

"Do ya need some company?" Miranda asks sweetly, entering the room and sitting on the edge of his bed. I step into the room, not sure if he's still mad at me or not.

"I'll be okay, Miranda. Thanks, though." She gets up from the bed and walks beside it, kissing him on the forehead, before exiting the room. I turn to leave but he stops me. "Hey, Lizzie." I turn around cautiously. I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it. "I shouldn't have shot out at you like that." He gets up and walks to where I'm standing in the doorway.

"I've shot out at you plenty of times."

"Call it even?"

I nod my head and reach my arms around his neck for a hug. Our eyes meet and we both slowly move our faces closer together. My fingers intertwine in his hair, and his hand moves up my back. My eyes close, as I expect his did as well, and our lips ever so slightly touch, not quite a kiss but almost. We both jerk back when we realize what had almost happened. We had kissed before, on the lips even, several times. I guess they all had honorable friendship intentions, as opposed to an occurrence in the heat of a moment.

He leans his forehead against mine. "Sorry, I'm kinda vulnerable right now. If you had plans to seduce me, now would be the time," he laughs slightly, and I can feel his warm breathe against my face. I smile and give him a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

"If you ever need to talk, I promise to try not to go on any guy hating tantrums."

"Thanks," he says as I exit his room.

I hurry to mine, shutting the door firmly behind me. "Phew."

Miranda looks at me from her bed. "You okay? What happened? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," I say. Then, knowing she would press the subject, I quickly divert to a subject I know she will go to. "So, you have to tell me about Michael."

"I thought you were through with tales of romance."

"Not when it concerns your tales of romance. Now, start from when he asked you out."