Author's Notes:
Most of you are probably wondering where the heck I have been. I wasn't going to explain why I've been gone, but then I realized that if I don't, it just makes it seem as though I've not cared about my writing, this story, or those of you who faithfully have been reading it. So for those reasons, I feel that I should share with you where I've been. I last updated about mid May. One of my closest friends' father died three days after I posted that chapter and I was spending a lot of time with her. Finals were also right around the corner so I had my hands full until about mid June with all that. Since then I've been taking driver's ed at my school over the summer and also working two separate jobs so I was working on the chapter as best as I could, but it didn't seem to be coming out right. Then, about two or three weeks ago, my grandmother was in the emergency room so I completely gave up on this chapter for a while, but now, here it is. I hope you all will still continue reading this story, even though it hasn't been updated regularly. For those of you who do, it means very much to me and I'm very grateful for any of the faithful readers out there, whom continue reading this with the same dedication they exhibited before. Thank you so much and again, I'm truly sorry for not updating or at least making you all aware of the situations that have been stopping me from updating and writing. Also, I want you all to know that I am currently working on Chapter 14 very hard. So here it is...Chapter 13...please review! Thank you to everyone! With all my love, Maddy

BTW: If you don't remember who Kellie, Alex, or Elizabeth (nicknamed Ellie) are, please go back to Chapter Four "Ideas And Honors" and that should help you remember them. Thank you.

Chapter Thirteen

Seth turned on the lamp next to his side of the bed the following morning. He glanced around as he sat up. He had a horrible headache and his eyes felt kind of achy. Suddenly, he remembered what had happened. Kellie and Alex. They were dead. Gone forever. He rubbed the side of his face as he turned to look at his wife.

She looked absolutely terrible…her dark chocolate brown hair was tangled and strewn across her pillow, her face blotchy and pale, and she also looked very sweaty. As Seth continued to stare at his distraught looking wife, the phone began ringing shrilly. He reached over and picked up the phone quickly, hoping it hadn't woken up Summer.

"Hello?" Seth said hoarsely into the phone.

"Seth? It's Mrs. Carlson…" Mrs. Carlson's normally jolly tone was cold and almost bitter this morning.

Seth bit his lip. What was he supposed to say to Kellie's mother? "Mrs. Carlson, how are you?" Seth asked softly, deciding that was the best way to go for now.

"As well as can be expected, honey, I suppose. How are you? How's Summer?" Mrs. Carlson asked, her voice filled with concern.

"Summer's not doing too well…she spent most of last night sobbing…she basically cried herself to sleep…I'm doing okay, I guess," Seth trailed off, seeing as how he didn't really know what else to say.

"Well, I'm calling because I wanted to ask a favor of you two, but if you two aren't up to it, I completely understand," Mrs. Carlson said as she paused to blow her nose. "Kellie and Alex left practically everything to you two…I don't know if you knew that, but when you agreed to be Elizabeth's guardians, they left everything to you."

When Seth heard Mrs. Carlson mention Elizabeth, something suddenly hit him. Something he hadn't thought of when he heard the news of Kellie and Alex's deaths. Elizabeth was his and Summer's child now. Their child to raise. Their child to watch and guide and guard. He was astounded that he didn't think of that right away, but he decided he must have completely forgotten about her, on account of the shock of what had happened to Alex and Kellie.

"Naturally, you own everything then-the house, their cars, the furniture…you two need to decide what you want to do with everything. I was wondering if you'd be willing to go over…to their house and start going through some of their stuff. I normally wouldn't ask you to do this so soon after…their deaths…but you'll need to get Elizabeth's belongings, I suppose," Mrs. Carlson said quietly.

Seth really didn't feel like going through one of his best friend's belongings and choosing what to get rid of and what to keep and all that, but he knew Mrs. Carlson needed them to do it. "Of course, I'll go over there and start going through everything. I'll bring Summer with me if she's feeling up to it," Seth paused for a moment before continuing on. "Do you need help with the funeral?" he asked softly.

"Oh, no, dear, Kellie and Alex's siblings are all working on that already…we'll, of course, let you know when that will be…other than that, there is the matter of…giving you two…Elizabeth. I picked her up from the hospital last night…I don't suppose the hospital even told you she was in the car since she's perfectly fine…the thing is, Seth, I was wondering if my husband and I could keep her with us until the funeral…it just makes me feel a little closer to Kellie…" Mrs. Carlson said as her voice trailed off, slightly breaking at the end of the last sentence.

"Of course, Mrs. Carlson, of course, you can," Seth told her. "We'll bring her home with us after the funeral…that way we'll have sometime to fix up a bedroom for her…and bring some of her stuff over here…" Seth said as he wondered if what he was saying was the appropriate way to be saying it. Seth shook his head a little, he was so confused and tired.

"Alright, well, thank you, Seth…thank you so much, dear, I really…really wish I could go over there and help you two sort things out, but…I just can't…go into their house…just not right this instant, any how…" Mrs. Carlson let her voice trail off.

Seth took this opportunity to end their conversation because he wanted to wake Summer up, something he had never wanted to do before in his life. He didn't want to talk to Mrs. Carlson about two of his best friends being dead, he wanted to talk to his wife. He felt that he was probably being very selfish at that moment in time, but he didn't particularly care either. "It's not a problem, Mrs. Carlson, really. If you need anything else, just give us a call, we're happy to help you out with anything you need," Seth told her softly. "I'm sorry, but I have to go get Summer up now and make sure she's alright," Seth added. They exchanged good byes and hung up. Seth knew he had been slightly curt and short with Mrs. Carlson at the end of their conversation, but he felt desperate to hold Summer in his arms, to know that she was safe and still here with him.

He put the phone back in its charger and turned around to face Summer. She was still asleep, looking anything but peaceful or angelic. She looked restless and distraught as if she were in horrible physical pain, at that exact moment. Seth gently stroked her arm with his fingertips, trying to gently wake her up. It wasn't working very well as Summer just kept moving her arm away from Seth's fingers. "Summer…Sum," Seth whispered softly as he poked Summer's side gently. Summer didn't seem to be responding to this at all either, so Seth started poking her a bit harder as he continued to talk to her, "Sum…honey, it's time to wake up."

Summer swatted Seth's hand away and groaned. Seth knew that if Summer was swatting things away from her, she had to be awake. Seth poked Summer twice more and as he attempted to poke her for third time, Summer rolled slightly over and smacked his chest. "Stop it now," Summer snapped. There was silence for a minute before Summer spoke up again. "I don't want to get out of bed…I don't want to ever get out of bed again," Summer said, her voice cracking on the second sentence.

Seth listened as Summer's breathing became rapid and watched as her body started to shake violently as she let her tears out and sobbed. "Sum," that was all Seth could say as he pulled his wife into his arms. He ran his hands through her unkempt dark chocolate brown hair. "Shh…everything's going to be alright, honey," Seth whispered reassuringly.

Summer shook her head and then buried her head into Seth's neck. "I can't believe they're gone…we're never going to see them again…I'm never going to have another two hour phone call with Kellie again…never going to hear Alex make another one of his silly puns…" Summer kept going on with what she wasn't going to do anymore, but Seth had stopped listening.

Something that Summer had said made Seth think of something. Alex had called him just a few days a go at work so that the four of them could get together and Seth never called him back. He never even told Summer about that call. He had been so busy thinking of himself and Summer that he completely forgot about one of his best friends. And now that person, that best friend, was dead. Seth would never get another message from him and would never return his calls ever again. Seth shook his head in disgust at himself; he just couldn't believe that he could be so wrapped up in his own life to not think about Alex and Kellie. Now he would never have the chance to make up for that. Seth tried to push these dark thoughts out of his head, but it appeared as though they were there to stay.

Summer's voice interrupted these thoughts and helped Seth shove them to the side for awhile. "Did I hear the phone ring before?" she asked softly as she laced her fingers through Seth's. "Because I thought I did…" Summer added as she glanced around the room, almost as if she was looking at it for the first time ever.

"Yeah, you did, sweetie…Mrs. Carlson called and asked us to go over to…their house and start…sorting through their stuff," Seth explained. "Especially because we have to get Ellie's stuff out of the house and into ours." Seth watched Summer's reaction to this carefully.

Summer nodded simply as her eyes continued to fill with salty tears. If she had forgotten that Ellie was theirs now, she hid it well. She leaned up slowly and kissed Seth's forehead, whom responded by kissing Summer's temple. Summer then crawled off the bed and walked into the bathroom.

Seth pulled himself off the bed and followed Summer into the bathroom. "Sum, you don't have to come with me if you don't want to…I understand if you'd rather go a different day…it's going to take awhile to go through everything…they left it all to us…Mrs. Carlson told me," Seth explained slowly as he paused often and studied Summer's face.

"No, no, I…I need to come with today. If I don't go today, I won't be able to make myself ever go into their house," Summer told him softly. She raised her eyes to the mirror in front of her and glanced at Seth's reflection. "Thank you, though, Seth, for offering to go by yourself."

Seth stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Summer's waist. He leaned his chin against her shoulder and said, "Sum, we're in this together. Everything is going to be fine…I promise you that, sweetie." He kissed the side of her head gently.

Summer stared at her tear stained reflection and hoped that he was right, that someday in the future they would be fine.

Seth put the emergency key Kellie and Alex had given Summer and him when they moved in into the golden lock and turned it slowly. The door swung open noisily, making puffy-eyed Summer, whom was standing behind Seth, with her arms wrapped around herself in a protective manner, jump. For a few moments, everything fell silent again.

Then the pair heard little paws scampering along the wooden floors, coming towards them. It was Riley, Kellie and Alex's newly trained, newly bought, white and brown shih tzu.

Seth stepped somewhat cautiously into the house and picked up the puppy. "You're coming home with us, too, I guess," Seth said softly.

Summer glared at him. "You," she snapped, "can not just come in here and claim their stuff as yours." She then sank down to the floor and looked around glumly. "This is their stuff...it belongs to them," Summer whispered desperately as if she was trying to prove something. "Not us, them," Summer insisted quietly, yet firmly.

Seth sighed. Summer was having a very hard time dealing with Kellie and Alex's deaths. He, with Riley in his arms, sat down next to Summer on the wooden floor. "I know, Sum, I know," he whispered painfully as he leaned over and placed one hand lovingly on her arm.

Summer sniffed loudly as she took a long look at the room. Every thing reminded her of Kellie and Alex. Not only things in their house, but also things outside of their house. Simple things like violets (Kellie's favorite flower), Friday's (Alex's favorite restaurant), cheesy info commercials (Kellie's favorite thing to do was patronize these), and the home shopping network (oddly enough, Alex's favorite channel-Summer always assumed this was because if Kellie was shopping at home by phone then he didn't have to carry her shopping bags).

Sighing, Summer pulled Riley out of Seth's arms and into hers as she stood up and stopped surveying their surroundings. "Let's just start this, okay? Because I already want today to be over," Summer said as she stomped up the stairs.

She decided logically the best room to start with would be Ellie's. Pretty much everything from there would be coming home with them since Ellie needed it all.

Summer looked around at the cheerful, bright, baby blue walls and sighed. Cheerful wasn't what she wanted right now, she wanted to be depressed.

Sighing for what seemed to be the millionth time that hour, Summer inched forward slowly to the wooden dresser and opened the top drawer. She started hauling Ellie's things over into neat piles by her door when Summer saw a white envelope addressed to 'Seth and Summer Cohen' fall out of the pile of clothes she had been carrying.

She bent to pick it up and let the clothes drop carelessly to the floor. She picked up the envelope slowly, as though she was afraid. Somehow she was afraid, afraid of what could possibly be in this envelope, afraid of what bad news it could possibly be carrying for her now. Summer tried to calm herself, reassuring herself that it was most likely just a letter.

She cautiously flipped the envelope over in her hand and began ripping it open, slowly at first and then more rapidly. She hurriedly unfolded the paper in her hands.

Dear Seth and Summer,
When we started discussing who we could possibly leave Elizabeth with if something should happen to us, we quickly realized we didn't want any one else to have her-we (selfishly, we know) want her to be ours forever and only ours. When we tried to picture all these different people we love raising our little angel, we realized that we needed to find the extraordinary people in our life who would love her the most, take care of her the best, and, most importantly to us, raise her and treat her as their own. The only people we could really see doing this, raising our daughter as their own, giving her all the love, support, guidance, and courage she could ever need, was you two. We know that Ellie will be in wonderful hands and that only the best will come to her with you two serving as her parents.
If you are reading this, it can only mean one thing. Something has happened to us and most likely we're gone, at least from this life, which is leaving Elizabeth without parents. We want you to know that we love you for taking her into your life and taking care of her as if she was your own daughter. She is basically the only real thing you will really have of us left. Yes, you will have our possessions (those that you chose to keep), and you will have your memories, always, of us, but the only concrete, real thing, something that is truly a part of us-that's Elizabeth. There's nothing else really left of us. Please take care of her for as long as you can and also, as our last request, please take care of yourselves and enjoy your lives to the fullest. We love you and we will always be with you and Elizabeth.
With all our love and gratitude,
Alexander and Kellie

Summer bit her lip as the tears started to flow again. There was no stopping it this time, she was already sobbing heavily as she scanned the words of the letter over again. They were right. Kellie and Alex were right. Elizabeth was it. There was nothing else left. Just Elizabeth. Just one little girl. One little angel who would never know her parents or how much they loved her.

Summer swallowed hard as something hit her like a cold, hard slap in the face. Elizabeth was the only thing left of Kellie and Alex, the only thing left that truly mattered. And Kellie and Alex trusted herself and Seth, whom knew nothing of how to raise kids or even watch them for a day! How on earth where they supposed to raise a little baby? They could barely take care of themselves!

Okay, okay, okay! Summer thought to herself. It's not that bad, we can take care of ourselves! But...what about someone else?

Summer shook her head. Like she was really ready to take full control and responsiblity for another person's life. And it wasn't even her kid. Summer always thought that if she was going to screw up another person's life, it would be her own kid, not someone else's. But then again, Summer reminded herself, now Elizabeth was her kid. In practically every sense of the word. The only factor missing would be the biological one, but as Summer herself knew, biological parents aren't always the best ones. In some cases, adoptive or foster parents could be much better at the parenting thing than biological parents. Summer had learned at a young age that just because you share genes and blood doesn't make someone your mother or father. What made someone your mother or father was the way they treated you and felt about you.

She could be a mother to Elizabeth, she knew she could. The thing she was unsure about was whether or not she wanted to. She didn't want to spend her life, raising a daughter, whom Summer knew had a mother who could have done the parenting thing ten times, if not more, better than her. Was that fair to Elizabeth? To give her a crappy mother when she had such a great one? Summer didn't think so. And she wasn't so sure that she wanted to be Elizabeth's mother anymore.

This chapter is dedicated with much love to my friend, Malerie, whose mother died in a car accident this past year, in October 2003.