PART FOUR: I MUST GO
He retrieved his lightsaber, observing it with the tips of his fingers. He left the room, only to be met with the destructive mess of his anger.
: Obi-Wan, face me. The power of evil runs deep in your blood and it will never go away. :
"No. I will not let you destroy me as you did the Republic," he stated firmly.
: Are you so confident to believe that the Republic can still be saved? :
"You can take away all that is close to me, but you cannot take away what hope I still believe is in this Republic."
: Powerful words, with such confidence, Ben— :
"Don't dare call me that! You have no right to!" he snapped. "Are you my conscience trying to tell me to just give up?"
: A messenger from the powers of darkness, General Kenobi. And my General requests you come visit him. :
"Save your pathetic message for someone who truly cares."
: Such a hateful statement coming from a Jedi. It appears as if the war has done wonders to your mind, my friend. :
Obi-Wan caught his breath and pushed back the heavy darkness in his soul. He wasn't about ready to let such comments get to him, but the war was doing things to him. He had grown quite aggressive, but not to the point where another Jedi would classify it as a trait of the dark side. He was more attentive, took to a situation almost instantly. He was not only a protector of what was left of the Republic, he had a whole army behind him on his every command. Though, he had seen his mistakes haunt him in his dreams, he fought to stay in the light. He couldn't live with betraying the Jedi Order anymore than he felt from Anakin.
"I'm not afraid of you," he called into the darkest corners of the room. "Do what you want to me. Take away my army, my Jedi powers, and my knowledge of the Force and leave me to fend for myself as a weakling, but you will not destroy what dignity I have left in me to do all that I can for this galaxy. Take me down and I will only become stronger. I shouldn't be afraid of anything, but the lies you've come to consume me with. Take me out, darkness, because I won't stop fighting."
The light was his only strength now. He kept the thoughts of protecting Padmé deep in his mind.
She is the key to ending this all, and I will make sure that nothing will ever happen to her. he thought.
Yet, he questioned the dark images. A cloaked man shrouded in darkness, breathing heavily shook his body to the core. The spewing heat of lava filled his eyes with pain. They just couldn't go away. He could see himself almost falling into a fiery pit, but is replaced by another he cannot define. He wanted to know why it was torturing him so much. He longed for answers, but had no idea how to ask the questions and who to exactly to go to. Trust was a very important thing in a galaxy at war, and it wasn't coming easy even for a Jedi. At times, forbidden for a Jedi, he was close to taking his life just to rid himself of the pain. But the Force held him back. Something did. Something always did.
He caught his breath and treaded out the room.
The halls of the Jedi Temple welcomed Obi-Wan in its silence. He walked down the dimmed hall much like he did in the past months ago. His head was hung low, having everyone realizing how much pain he was still in. But for once, he hadn't concealed it behind the comfort of his hood. He hesitated to move into the main chambers of the Temple. There was a heavy weight pushing against him, crushing his lungs. He say Master Windu and Master Yoda – in his repulsor chair – atop the stairs, waiting. He knew he was going to face them tonight, and for awhile he wanted to avoid hearing every mistake he made from Master Windu. That was the least of his worries, without having to have an attentive ear waiting to state a problem that needed a Jedi and his troops to solve. Yet, it was his first time seeing Windu in awhile, and he could see the war taking him down. His appearance was still radiant, but his shoulders slumped slightly and his face was aging along with the war.
Obi-Wan came up beside them, without saying a word. They turned away and headed down the stairs. He followed in close pursuit, never breaking the swift silence of the two Jedi Masters. He could sense nothing wrong. He didn't even detect the instant dictatorship of Master Windu pointing out his every mistake, which he enjoyed to take Obi-Wan out on. Over the course of the war, they had grown close as friends, not as a master teaching a student. It was good to see they were on good grounds with each other, which Yoda had hoped would happen.
"Planning on leaving the Temple to attend to other business other than the war, Obi-Wan?" Mace broke the silence. His voice was quiet, but strong, unemotional.
"Don't try to think of it that way, Master. I simply want to search out these feelings of doubt within me," he said, carefully.
They continued up the hall. Obi-Wan was sandwiched within the two masters, but trailed back slightly, unable to fully see the facial expressions of the elder Jedi.
He grew weary and felt that he was wasting time stalling like this.
"So eager to leave are you?" Yoda asked slowly, sensing Obi-Wan's uneasiness.
"I do believe I must seek this out now," he said, cautiously.
"Yet, I do not believe this is your reason for searching out this doubt, is it, Obi-Wan?" Mace asked.
"I may not have much time left. Anakin will be back for Padmé, and as I promised to both him and the Council, I will protect her at all costs. I can't back away from a promise."
"Draws you to this source of doubt the Force does?" Yoda asked.
"Honestly, I am not sure anymore, Master."
"Unsure of the power of the Force, are you? Never in all my years have I heard a Jedi speak these words." Yoda was appalled.
"The war has done many things to the Jedi, here. Yet, I still sense you have a passion for bringing Anakin back to the Temple, do you not, Obi- Wan?" Mace questioned with interest.
"Yes, Master." he nodded, firmly. "I just do not understand how the charges still stand for his expellation."
"That was nearly three months ago, Obi-Wan. I would have thought you wouldn't be still thinking so strongly about it."
"I know my priority still lies in serving in this war, but don't I still have my beliefs that Anakin is not at all an agent of evil, but merely confused and scared?"
"It is risky, Obi-Wan–"Mace tried to say.
"But it is my choice!" Obi-Wan's voice rose. He looked down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Masters."
"That is quite all right, Obi-Wan," Mace accepted the apology.
Yoda's eyes were closed. He was in deep thought. Then, he opened his eyes and peered over at Obi-Wan. "That it is your choice, Obi-Wan. Respect that I do. But wavering on the edge of the light side, he is. Confusion may not be the only feelings in his mind. There Is pain I have sensed in young Anakin. For a long time, he has held onto that pain."
"I have felt it too," Mace confessed.
"So, you know that I must seek him out. There is no sense in trying to talk to him."
Mace sighed, and looked over at the other elder master. "Yet, I hope you are making a wise decision, Obi-Wan. I'd hate to lose you to the dark side."
"You won't, Master. And I will keep that in mind."
Then, Obi-Wan's eyes were forced shut. He saw the fiery lava pit dance in his eyes. He could feel the heat, its heavy contents crushed his throat, forcing him to take cautious breaths. He could see many being destroyed, crying out in pain. An ancient building, which looked like the Jedi Temple, was in flames. There were stormtroopers and clonetroopers everywhere. No one was safe. No one. The images were becoming clear to him. The stormtroopers that were once help to the galaxy were now targeting a new enemy – the Jedi.
He's going to destroy us! Obi-Wan thought, painfully.
"Obi-Wan?" Mace called out.
Obi-Wan didn't hear the Jedi Master. He was still stuck in the void displayed in his head. The Emperor has claimed the Jedi as enemies to the Republic. Liars. Renegades. The ones to blame for the fall of the Republic, having everyone wavering about trusting us.
"Obi-Wan!" Mace raised his voice.
There is a battle in the Council Room. There are two lightsaber–no, wait there is three? A blue one held high, a red one on offense and a lone purple one standing alone — no, don't do it!
"Obi-Wan!" Mace shook him violently.
"Noooo!" Obi-Wan cried. He looked around to realize he was back in the Temple. He was catching his breath. He looked at Mace, fear in his eyes. Mace could read it clearly and looked away.
"It is the future you see, Obi-Wan," Yoda said, slowly.
"I have to stop him, Master. He could destroy us all."
"Yet, the future is always in motion and not everything you see is true," Mace stated.
"Is that all you can say about this, Mace? While Anakin is out there with the Emperor, we're here as sitting ducks. You gotta at least think of the welfare for our safety–if not the children still in the Temple."
"It has become a dangerous world. And we can't possibly send some of them back to their parents, where the planet is consumed by evil and darkness."
"And do you think they are safe here as easy targets?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Too many other Jedi are out on other planets. There aren't enough masters here to take the padawans under their protective shield."
Obi-Wan was growing angry inside. He felt alone in this situation. Yoda had not said much at all, and Mace was looking at him as a failure. As a disgrace to the Jedi name. No one was going to back him up.
Master, where are you? he thought, helplessly.
He knew what he saw, but he wasn't sure if the Masters were only trying to test him. He held his breath and slowly backed away. Mace turned to stop him, seeing there was fear, hate and pain in the younger Jedi's eyes.
"Obi-Wan?" Mace approached him, cautiously.
Obi-Wan pulled away. "No. Don't try it with me, Mace! You're just trying to pull me away from finding out the truth."
"I don't believe that is true, Obi-Wan," he said.
: Obi-Wan, why are still here? The dark side beckons you to follow. :
What do you want from me?
: If you want to know, you must reach out with those feelings deep inside. :
No. Don't. Not that pain. He found his breath coming in short gasps.
: I am merely showing you the door to the truth. Now, it is up to you to decide if you're ready to face it. :
Obi-Wan pushed past the two Masters before they could say anymore and ran down the corridor. He picked up his pace as he headed for the hangar.
To be continued....
He retrieved his lightsaber, observing it with the tips of his fingers. He left the room, only to be met with the destructive mess of his anger.
: Obi-Wan, face me. The power of evil runs deep in your blood and it will never go away. :
"No. I will not let you destroy me as you did the Republic," he stated firmly.
: Are you so confident to believe that the Republic can still be saved? :
"You can take away all that is close to me, but you cannot take away what hope I still believe is in this Republic."
: Powerful words, with such confidence, Ben— :
"Don't dare call me that! You have no right to!" he snapped. "Are you my conscience trying to tell me to just give up?"
: A messenger from the powers of darkness, General Kenobi. And my General requests you come visit him. :
"Save your pathetic message for someone who truly cares."
: Such a hateful statement coming from a Jedi. It appears as if the war has done wonders to your mind, my friend. :
Obi-Wan caught his breath and pushed back the heavy darkness in his soul. He wasn't about ready to let such comments get to him, but the war was doing things to him. He had grown quite aggressive, but not to the point where another Jedi would classify it as a trait of the dark side. He was more attentive, took to a situation almost instantly. He was not only a protector of what was left of the Republic, he had a whole army behind him on his every command. Though, he had seen his mistakes haunt him in his dreams, he fought to stay in the light. He couldn't live with betraying the Jedi Order anymore than he felt from Anakin.
"I'm not afraid of you," he called into the darkest corners of the room. "Do what you want to me. Take away my army, my Jedi powers, and my knowledge of the Force and leave me to fend for myself as a weakling, but you will not destroy what dignity I have left in me to do all that I can for this galaxy. Take me down and I will only become stronger. I shouldn't be afraid of anything, but the lies you've come to consume me with. Take me out, darkness, because I won't stop fighting."
The light was his only strength now. He kept the thoughts of protecting Padmé deep in his mind.
She is the key to ending this all, and I will make sure that nothing will ever happen to her. he thought.
Yet, he questioned the dark images. A cloaked man shrouded in darkness, breathing heavily shook his body to the core. The spewing heat of lava filled his eyes with pain. They just couldn't go away. He could see himself almost falling into a fiery pit, but is replaced by another he cannot define. He wanted to know why it was torturing him so much. He longed for answers, but had no idea how to ask the questions and who to exactly to go to. Trust was a very important thing in a galaxy at war, and it wasn't coming easy even for a Jedi. At times, forbidden for a Jedi, he was close to taking his life just to rid himself of the pain. But the Force held him back. Something did. Something always did.
He caught his breath and treaded out the room.
The halls of the Jedi Temple welcomed Obi-Wan in its silence. He walked down the dimmed hall much like he did in the past months ago. His head was hung low, having everyone realizing how much pain he was still in. But for once, he hadn't concealed it behind the comfort of his hood. He hesitated to move into the main chambers of the Temple. There was a heavy weight pushing against him, crushing his lungs. He say Master Windu and Master Yoda – in his repulsor chair – atop the stairs, waiting. He knew he was going to face them tonight, and for awhile he wanted to avoid hearing every mistake he made from Master Windu. That was the least of his worries, without having to have an attentive ear waiting to state a problem that needed a Jedi and his troops to solve. Yet, it was his first time seeing Windu in awhile, and he could see the war taking him down. His appearance was still radiant, but his shoulders slumped slightly and his face was aging along with the war.
Obi-Wan came up beside them, without saying a word. They turned away and headed down the stairs. He followed in close pursuit, never breaking the swift silence of the two Jedi Masters. He could sense nothing wrong. He didn't even detect the instant dictatorship of Master Windu pointing out his every mistake, which he enjoyed to take Obi-Wan out on. Over the course of the war, they had grown close as friends, not as a master teaching a student. It was good to see they were on good grounds with each other, which Yoda had hoped would happen.
"Planning on leaving the Temple to attend to other business other than the war, Obi-Wan?" Mace broke the silence. His voice was quiet, but strong, unemotional.
"Don't try to think of it that way, Master. I simply want to search out these feelings of doubt within me," he said, carefully.
They continued up the hall. Obi-Wan was sandwiched within the two masters, but trailed back slightly, unable to fully see the facial expressions of the elder Jedi.
He grew weary and felt that he was wasting time stalling like this.
"So eager to leave are you?" Yoda asked slowly, sensing Obi-Wan's uneasiness.
"I do believe I must seek this out now," he said, cautiously.
"Yet, I do not believe this is your reason for searching out this doubt, is it, Obi-Wan?" Mace asked.
"I may not have much time left. Anakin will be back for Padmé, and as I promised to both him and the Council, I will protect her at all costs. I can't back away from a promise."
"Draws you to this source of doubt the Force does?" Yoda asked.
"Honestly, I am not sure anymore, Master."
"Unsure of the power of the Force, are you? Never in all my years have I heard a Jedi speak these words." Yoda was appalled.
"The war has done many things to the Jedi, here. Yet, I still sense you have a passion for bringing Anakin back to the Temple, do you not, Obi- Wan?" Mace questioned with interest.
"Yes, Master." he nodded, firmly. "I just do not understand how the charges still stand for his expellation."
"That was nearly three months ago, Obi-Wan. I would have thought you wouldn't be still thinking so strongly about it."
"I know my priority still lies in serving in this war, but don't I still have my beliefs that Anakin is not at all an agent of evil, but merely confused and scared?"
"It is risky, Obi-Wan–"Mace tried to say.
"But it is my choice!" Obi-Wan's voice rose. He looked down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Masters."
"That is quite all right, Obi-Wan," Mace accepted the apology.
Yoda's eyes were closed. He was in deep thought. Then, he opened his eyes and peered over at Obi-Wan. "That it is your choice, Obi-Wan. Respect that I do. But wavering on the edge of the light side, he is. Confusion may not be the only feelings in his mind. There Is pain I have sensed in young Anakin. For a long time, he has held onto that pain."
"I have felt it too," Mace confessed.
"So, you know that I must seek him out. There is no sense in trying to talk to him."
Mace sighed, and looked over at the other elder master. "Yet, I hope you are making a wise decision, Obi-Wan. I'd hate to lose you to the dark side."
"You won't, Master. And I will keep that in mind."
Then, Obi-Wan's eyes were forced shut. He saw the fiery lava pit dance in his eyes. He could feel the heat, its heavy contents crushed his throat, forcing him to take cautious breaths. He could see many being destroyed, crying out in pain. An ancient building, which looked like the Jedi Temple, was in flames. There were stormtroopers and clonetroopers everywhere. No one was safe. No one. The images were becoming clear to him. The stormtroopers that were once help to the galaxy were now targeting a new enemy – the Jedi.
He's going to destroy us! Obi-Wan thought, painfully.
"Obi-Wan?" Mace called out.
Obi-Wan didn't hear the Jedi Master. He was still stuck in the void displayed in his head. The Emperor has claimed the Jedi as enemies to the Republic. Liars. Renegades. The ones to blame for the fall of the Republic, having everyone wavering about trusting us.
"Obi-Wan!" Mace raised his voice.
There is a battle in the Council Room. There are two lightsaber–no, wait there is three? A blue one held high, a red one on offense and a lone purple one standing alone — no, don't do it!
"Obi-Wan!" Mace shook him violently.
"Noooo!" Obi-Wan cried. He looked around to realize he was back in the Temple. He was catching his breath. He looked at Mace, fear in his eyes. Mace could read it clearly and looked away.
"It is the future you see, Obi-Wan," Yoda said, slowly.
"I have to stop him, Master. He could destroy us all."
"Yet, the future is always in motion and not everything you see is true," Mace stated.
"Is that all you can say about this, Mace? While Anakin is out there with the Emperor, we're here as sitting ducks. You gotta at least think of the welfare for our safety–if not the children still in the Temple."
"It has become a dangerous world. And we can't possibly send some of them back to their parents, where the planet is consumed by evil and darkness."
"And do you think they are safe here as easy targets?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Too many other Jedi are out on other planets. There aren't enough masters here to take the padawans under their protective shield."
Obi-Wan was growing angry inside. He felt alone in this situation. Yoda had not said much at all, and Mace was looking at him as a failure. As a disgrace to the Jedi name. No one was going to back him up.
Master, where are you? he thought, helplessly.
He knew what he saw, but he wasn't sure if the Masters were only trying to test him. He held his breath and slowly backed away. Mace turned to stop him, seeing there was fear, hate and pain in the younger Jedi's eyes.
"Obi-Wan?" Mace approached him, cautiously.
Obi-Wan pulled away. "No. Don't try it with me, Mace! You're just trying to pull me away from finding out the truth."
"I don't believe that is true, Obi-Wan," he said.
: Obi-Wan, why are still here? The dark side beckons you to follow. :
What do you want from me?
: If you want to know, you must reach out with those feelings deep inside. :
No. Don't. Not that pain. He found his breath coming in short gasps.
: I am merely showing you the door to the truth. Now, it is up to you to decide if you're ready to face it. :
Obi-Wan pushed past the two Masters before they could say anymore and ran down the corridor. He picked up his pace as he headed for the hangar.
To be continued....