Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 18
Chapter 3: And Tomorrow?
"It was fun tonight," Rogue said to Remy as he walked her to her room in the mansion, they were quiet, it was late. Rogue felt tipsy and she was sure this could not be a good thing. She had to be up early to deal with training sessions for her students. Remy, however, didn't need to get up until midday to continue with his own training with Ororo's team.
"Yeah," Remy responded, he had his arm around her shoulders as they walked, and she loved that feeling, pressed into him as he pulled her a little closer for the last few feet until they reached Rogue's destination. "Yeah, it was."
Rogue smiled, she moved away from him, but glanced over to him. In the dim lighting half his face was silhouetted, his hair was fallen over his eyes, but it couldn't hide the bright red irises that were slightly glowing in the dark. Those eyes had always mystified and intrigued Rogue. "You've been…really great tonight…and these last few weeks…" she patted his chest gently.
Remy pressed his shoulder into the wall, leaning against it, still looking at her all the while, "I'm tryin'…but only for you."
"I told you," Rogue murmured softly with the most tender smile she could manage, "I only want you to try for you…" she slipped her hand into her pocket to retrieve the key for her room.
Remy touched her hair lightly as she was fumbling with her lock, "it's weird how…when I'm with you…I can laugh like I haven't in so long…" he sighed, "if only I hadn't walked out seven years ago I could have spent that lifetime laughing with you…and not cryin' to myself over what I lost when I did."
Rogue turned to him, "best to forget all that stuff now."
"If only I could…" he sighed, his eyes dropped to the floor as he seemed to fall into thoughts of the past again.
Rogue finally unlocked the door, and she turned the handle, the door swung open, "want to come in?"
"Probably shouldn't," he decided, "the Professor would find some excuse that us goin' in and out of each others rooms all the time is going to be a bad influence on the students."
Rogue sighed softly, "I suppose you're right…" she reached out to brush her gloved fingers against his stubbled face, and he closed his eyes, pressing his cheek into her palm, "I love you," she whispered softly.
"Me too," he replied, and although he didn't say those three words, she believed him so much. She had no reason not to.
Rogue moved over to hug him, and felt his arms envelope around her. She didn't understand why it all had to end so soon tonight. The night had been fun, not particularly romantic, but, it was a night she didn't want to see end. She wondered if he felt the same way or if he was anxious to get away from her. Recently, it had been obvious he needed space to himself, still trying to adjust to his new life in the mansion. She could understand, but she wanted to spend every waking moment with him – no matter how impossible that was. She wasn't sure how long this would last. She'd grown so used to not putting stake in the future with Remy that she was slightly uneasy about whether or not things would change soon.
Her head rested against his chest, she could feel his breathing, and his heartbeat, and it reminded her of realistic dreams she'd had when they hadn't been together. Only this was real. She knew from the scent of him, and the feeling of his hot beer scented breath upon her hair.
"It's almost like y' don't want to let go," he murmured softly, he ran his fingers through the ends of her hair tenderly, caressing the small of her back at the same time.
"I don't," she confessed. "It's the closest I've had to the real Remy LeBeau since you came back and I'm not sure I want to let it go just yet…don't know if it's going to be there tomorrow," she sighed.
"Of course it's going to be," he hugged her closer to reassure her, "why wouldn't it?"
Rogue swallowed, she could feel emotion welling up within her but she wouldn't allow it to take charge, "because tomorrow you could take a turn for the worst and feel as bad as you did two weeks ago…and it hurts seein' you like that, Remy."
Remy closed his eyes, hugging her as tightly as he could, "chere, I can't guarantee that there won't be times like that. I have…an affliction…and there's no telling when it might…erupt. But today I'm fine. And tomorrow? I can only try to be fine."
"But you're fine now…" Rogue sucked in all the emotion and moved away to look up at him, "so stay tonight…please?"
Remy realised that he was losing this battle. He didn't have the heart to deny her this. She hardly asked him for anything. He'd put her through so much and she'd been understanding enough to give him one more try even after he'd almost walked out on her again. Staying the night wasn't too much to ask – even if there was a slight risk involved.
"Alright," he said. He followed her into her bedroom and closed the door behind himself.
Rogue walked over to the bed and turned one of the small bedside lamps on, she gazed over at him.
Remy glanced around the room again as he had the other times he'd been in. It was like a whole new world to him. And this woman…was a whole new Rogue. Neither really were the people they'd been when they'd met and fallen in love. But despite she was a whole new Rogue to him, it still felt the same to be with her, comforting, and he still ached for her every time he was near her, something in his soul yearned for her.
Rogue grabbed her pyjamas from under her pillow, "I'll be right out, just going to change, okay?" she murmured, then headed towards the bathroom.
"Okay," he nodded, he slipped his jacket off, tossed it on a chair, then wandered over to the window, where the temptation to look at her in the bathroom from the threshold would be considerably less. Outside a wind picked up, shaking the branches of the trees. It had begun to rain, and the sound of it on the window was comforting to Remy. He felt an irresistible urge to be in that rain, drawn to it almost.
He opened the window and climbed out onto the ledge, letting the rain touch him, it had begun to grow heavy, and he wondered if perhaps Ororo was having bad dreams and accidentally affecting the weather with her emotions. He didn't care. He tried to imagine the rain washing every sin away from him. He swept his rain drenched hair away from his face, hovering there on the small ledge outside of the window, he glanced down, he could have almost swore he'd saw a pair of red eyes glinting through the rain down the end of the drive.
"Remy?" Rogue had come out of the bathroom, and noticed his disappearance. She approached the window, "what ARE you doing?"
Remy turned and glanced in the window, water pouring down his face, "sometimes bein' caught in the rain is good," he replied softly, although there was something in his expression that was extremely haunted as he said it. Rogue saw it at once, but she didn't ask. She didn't want to ruin the perfect night.
"You're getting soaked," Rogue fretted. She knew Remy was still susceptible to the risk of flu or pneumonia.
"Feels good though," Remy responded, tilting his head up to the sky, "it's almost like natures shower."
"Come in," Rogue pleaded.
Remy complied, he climbed back into the window, dripping on the lilac carpet, he was completely soaked through. His t-shirt had become transparent and was clinging to his chest and stomach reminding Rogue of every ripple she'd once been so familiar with.
"You…uhm…better take those clothes off now, look at you…you're soaked all the way through…"
Remy raised an eyebrow, "how convenient. You did want my clothes off me after all, right?" he said, with a slight smirk. He forced off the feeling of being watched, that he was being followed, his every move studied. He wanted to focus on her for the time being.
Rogue rolled her eyes, "ha ha," she uttered, "here…give me that…" she tugged on the bottom of his t-shirt, "put your arms up."
Remy did so, and let her peel the wet t-shirt off of him. His first instinct after she had done so was to kiss her, a spark seemed to ignite the flame of passion within him at that very moment, a flame he'd long forgotten was there. A flame he'd thought might have burned out completely. He ached for her now, a way he hadn't ached since the first time she'd touched him on his twenty-first birthday. Images of that incident came forth to his mind, and reminded him of how complete he'd felt to be with her. More than any ever woman had ever made him feel. He leaned forward to kiss her on instinct, she dodged away in time.
"What are you doing?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and holding his wet t-shirt between them, she felt slightly ill at ease now.
"I don't know, to be honest, felt right though," he responded, he unbuttoned his jeans, "you'll be wanting these too I suppose?"
"Unless you'd rather be wet," Rogue stood waiting patiently.
"You sure you want me to be this naked?"
"I've seen you naked before, Remy. Quite a few times now. It doesn't impress me anymore," she said, his change of attitude had slightly worried her now. She wished he was as predictable as he always had been before. One minute he was shy, the next minute, he wanted to be naked and trying to kiss her, it didn't make sense to her how someone's moods could shift so quickly.
"Okay," he shrugged and undressed. Rogue had wished she'd left the lights turned off before coming into the room. Having him there, and being reminded of the skin she couldn't touch but so badly ached to, made her ache like she'd never ached before. She averted her eyes, he'd even removed his underwear.
"You're not sleeping in my bed like that," she commented heading towards the door. "I'll go get you some dry clothes."
"Whatever you want," he shrugged, and watched her leave the room.