Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 18
Chapter 6: The Impulse
Remy followed the X-Men Gold team out of the blackbird jet, he was the last to leave the jet, his head hung low in shame, and he hid tears behind his bangs.
"Remy!" Rogue met up with him in the hangar, she noticed the looks on everyone's face, no one had said anything. Piotr was carrying a beautiful woman who appeared to be unconscious. Jean was nursing a headwound and grumbling in pain to herself.
Ororo was silent as she led the way across the hangar.
"What happened?" Rogue asked.
"Ask him!" Bobby spun and pointed at Remy, the room grew colder. The others had stopped walking, noticing Bobby's outburst at once.
Rogue looked to Remy, "what's wrong?" she asked, she moved his hair back from his face, she saw the tears, she saw the haunted expression in his face. "What is it?"
"Tell her, Gambit! Tell her of how you BLEW our entire mission. Quite literally."
Remy blinked away his tears, "the chemical plant was destroyed."
"How did—" Rogue was about to ask.
"The love of your life here threw a charged object at a bunch of volatile chemicals and blew everything up!" Bobby yelled in anger.
"Shut the fuck up, Bobby,"
Kitty shoved him, "You weren't even THERE.
You don't even know what happened."
"I know enough from what Ororo told us!" Bobby shoved Kitty back.
"Stop it!" Ororo growled getting between Bobby and Kitty, "no one is to blame for what happened. Something went wrong, after a nights rest we shall REVIEW the situation."
"You don't NEED to review it, 'Ro. Your blame lies right there," Bobby pointed at Remy. Bobby's ice blue eyes were as cold as the room now, and it was growing colder.
"What the fuck is your problem with me, Drake?!" Remy demanded, he moved Rogue aside and stepped towards the man, his breath steaming in the air, the temperature kept plummeting further.
"Stop pickin' fights! The pair of you!" Rogue jumped in between them, "you're not helpin' things. "Whatever happened, I'm sure it was an accident – Remy wouldn't intentionally blow anywhere up!"
"You would stick up for him, of course, wouldn't you!" Bobby uttered, "the love of your life, the one who can do no wrong. He fucks everything up, Rogue, and you don't bat an eyelid. He doesn't belong with the X-Men! He's too reckless and DANGEROUS! He should be in a fucking mental asylum."
Remy frowned, "You want a fight, Drake?" he pushed Rogue aside firmly and shoved the man in the chest, "come on then."
"Why not?" Bobby smirked, "I'd beat you. You're nowhere near the fierce fighter you once were. You're just a mentally insane loser with mutant powers now…mutant powers you can't even control."
"That is enough!" Ororo stood between them, "Bobby, one more word and you're suspended from the team."
Bobby frowned, "suspend him from the team, he's the one who can't keep a lid on his powers," he uttered, then he spun around and left in a rage, the temperature began to rise once again.
Ororo sighed, "I'll deal with him later, I think we are all in need of sleep…"
Professor Xavier appeared from a doorway, "ah, you've returned," he said, "I got your message. The proper authorities have been advised about the explosion and it is being dealt with as we speak."
Ororo nodded. "Thank you, Professor."
Jean walked over, "Professor, may I have a word…?" she glanced to Remy, then back to the Professor, "in private…"
"Why not have it here?" Remy asked, "If I'm to be spoken about, I'd rather hear it," he said.
Jean grimaced, "it was not about you…"
"You're a bad liar, Jean," Remy sighed, he felt Rogue's arms on his back and he pushed her away, he didn't feel like being consoled right now. Not while his future with the X-Men was already in jeopardy. Rogue looked at him in confusion, she didn't understand what was wrong with him.
Ororo put her hand on Remy's shoulder, "you look tired, my friend. You should rest…we all should…"
Remy gave a vague nod, and began for the doorway before the others, he walked alone, shoulders hunched, head low. When he'd gone, the others looked at each other.
"Something's wrong," Jean said, "I sense a turmoil within him…" she said, "it's strong…Remy has always been hard to read…but I can pick this up so clearly."
Kitty looked at Rogue, she'd seen the way Remy had pushed her away when she'd tried to console him, it had been unlike Remy to ever push her away from him, Rogue seemed to be dwelling on it too, her expression was hurt, and confused.
"Is something wrong?" the Professor asked of Rogue, seeing her concern.
"No, Professor…nothing…" she sighed, "I'm just tired…"
"Let us all retire. We'll brief about the incident tomorrow morning before the students lessons."
Remy stepped through his bedroom alone, he didn't even bother closing the door. He switched on the bedside lamp, and he sat upon the bed and put his head in his hands. Everything surrounding the incident at the chemical plant had been a blur, except from the silhouette with red eyes. It had been Sinister, and he was the only one who knew it. He hadn't known what had come over him when he'd thrown the projectile. It had been stupid, now everyone had seen him. And soon, everyone was likely to know about him, about his involvement. About the things he hadn't wanted them to know.
"Remy…"
Remy raised his eyes to the door, Rogue was standing there, still clad in her pyjamas, her hair was in a long braid, her eyes were puffy and tired, she'd waited up for him, she'd been waiting on the safe return he'd promised. Only, he'd begun to wonder if returning had been the best option.
"I told you I was a liability," he said before she had a chance to say much else.
Rogue stepped in and closed the door, "you're not…"
"You don't even know the half of it, Chere," he sighed, rubbing his forehead.
"Then tell me…?" Rogue moved over, she knelt on the carpet at his knees, looking up at him hopefully.
"I wish I could, Chere," he sighed, "but it's complicated…there's things I don't understand myself, yet..."
Rogue wished she could understand too, "tell me…maybe we can understand together…?"
"Rogue…Chere…Marie…" he swallowed, "I think I truly am losing my mind," his voice was thick with emotion, but he wasn't going to let himself cry anymore, not in front of her.
Rogue shook her head, "No…you're not," she said firmly, "You're as sane as you ever were…you're just sad, Remy…you're doubting yourself – I've been there, it can drive you to questioning your own sanity…"
Remy shook his head in response also, "no…I seriously am…" he let out a shuddering breath, he got up, moving away from her, "Drake is right, my sanity is questionable, I'm a danger to the team…"
"No, you're not, you're a good X-Man," Rogue followed, "You had ONE lousy mishap. It's happened to everyone – usually it DOES happen on the first mission…it prepares you for future screw ups. There's always screw ups. We don't win a hundred percent of the time, Remy…"
Remy tried to not listen, he knew she had to be wrong. "This screw up could have destroyed us all…what if there'd been humans in the chemical plant…what if—"
She put her gloved fingers to his lips, "ssh…" she murmured.
He fell silent, just looked at her, he expected her to say something, but she said nothing, she slipped her arms around him and held onto him, pressing her cheek against his chest. It felt good to have her there, momentarily, the weighing on his heart seemed to lift. But his mind still remained on his problems. It shook him inside every time a new question arose. And the most frequent question was he really going insane?
Rogue moved back slowly, and unzipped the front of his uniform jacket.
"What are you doin'?" he whispered softly.
Rogue whispered, "ssh," once more, and slid the jacket off his shoulders, she traced every ripple of his chest with her gloved fingers, "just relax, okay?" she murmured.
Remy closed his eyes, his heart skipped a beat every now and then and he shivered at the feeling of the satiny touch of her gloved fingers against his bare flesh. He breathed shallow but exhaled deeply when she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. His mind was full of images of them together, entwined in an embrace everlasting, flesh against flesh, lips against lips, heartbeat against heartbeat. He trembled when her hand found its way beneath his underwear, he suppressed a moan, he swallowed his pleasure like sweet wine, her touch was unlike any other.
His mind left the doubt of the night behind, and was completely overwhelmed by desire. In his mind he could imagine the kiss they would share, the soft moist velvety texture of her lips against his, the uncertainty, the hesitation, the timorous trembling of her lips. He opened his eyes slightly, everything seemed hazy, the pleasure mounting within him, he tried to hold back, restrain himself and grasp onto the pleasure for as long as he could, let it last as long as it could.
Everything about her sent his body into a frenzy, from the heaving of her chest beneath the cotton pyjamas to the scent of her hair and the body fragrance. It was almost as if he were finding the pleasure again for the first time, it all felt so new.
Her head tilted up to look at him, her eyes soft, tired, and serious, glittering in the light by the bed, she stepped forward, causing him to step back, he sat on the bed, she climbed into his lap, still caressing him, her freehand in his hair. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips, the tension building within his loins. He inched closer, to feel her breath hot on his lips, she was excited too, it was in the way she was breathing. The impulse overtook him completely. He could not help himself anymore.
At that very moment he was spent, he let out a shuddering breath and then he kissed her.
- THE END (Or is it, Mwahahahahahahahaha, I can only imagine the hatemail I'm going to get for the ending of this ep.).