Chapter 4 – Term's End
The months passed, and winter blended into spring.
Severus Snape was caught up in all his classes. He voraciously read about mountaineering and played rock and pebble Quidditch with James Potter, even showing off a bit for Lily. He felt healthy for the first time in his life and had even put on a bit of muscle. He smiled more and cried less.
The broom practice he enjoyed at the Sunny Meadow had paid off, for Sev had become somewhat of a daredevil. He and James would plummet straight down accompanied by Lily's shrieks to be careful; Potter always pulled up and away first. The one time Sev did hit the ground, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had been there to laugh at him (Remus Lupin was there too but had said nothing). James told his Marauder friends to shut the hell up and asked Lupin to help him get Sev to the Hospital Wing, which he did gladly. Luckily, the biggest injury was to the Slytherin's pride.
During the last few months of school, Severus also saw Asphora LaChance, Sibelius Hammer, and Aloysius Bede when Headmaster Dumbledore took him back to St. Mungo's for follow-up care. They talked about things like Sev's anger with his parents and his own jealousy and resentment of Sirius Black. It wasn't fun at all. It was gut churning and miserable and made Severus cry a lot, but it was necessary.
Severus did remember to use some of the "tools" the three healers had given him. One he liked best was "stay in the day". This meant that he shouldn't worry about all his tomorrows.
Aloysius had also taught him a trick to use when feeling jealous. "When you're awake in the middle of the night burning with resentment against Sirius Black or whoever has offended you, they are most assuredly at home in bed enjoying a sound sleep! They certainly aren't lying awake worrying about you, now, are they?"
Severus had shaken his head. "So the only one I've hurt is myself, really."
"That's right. So – next time you find yourself stewing in resentment, Sev, just roll over and go back to sleep!"
Asphora had taught him the piece of advice that helped Severus most of all. "A mistake isn't a sin, Sev," she had told him. "You are a human being. Human beings make mistakes all the time, and it's all right. You don't have to be perfect, honey!"
Sev had blinked hard at this. His entire life had been a quest to be perfect so his father wouldn't beat him or his classmates wouldn't make fun of him. "But do you know something, Shonsey?" he had asked. "Even when I thought I was perfect, my father would find a reason to hit me anyway. Why did he do that?"
The healer had sighed. "Some people are just mean and rotten and evil, honey," she had told him. "Some enjoy hurting other people and they don't feel bad about it. I think your father was one of those people. I'm so glad we were able to stop him."
Sev had nodded solemnly.
"Remember, baby, it wasn't you. You weren't the bad one. You weren't the one who made so many terrible choices. You did the very best you could under those awful circumstances. Now that you are free of him, work on your own self-reliance. You are no longer a victim. You don't have to cower before anyone anymore, Sev. If someone hurts you today, you can deal with it. Of course, you can find a way to do that without breaking every school rule in existence!"
Sev had grinned. "Yes, Shonsey!"
Severus also spent a portion of every day with his guardian. Albus Dumbledore always had tea and a little plate of divinity fudge waiting for him. It was all very informal; Sev would tell the Headmaster how his day had gone and how he had felt about things that had happened. Dumbledore, in turn, would give him a bit of advice (if he asked for it) and always gave the Dark child a warm and healing hug.
They both enjoyed their few minutes together, knowing that the other person loved them and wished them well. This was all to the good and helped rebuild Sev's tattered self-esteem. It also soothed Dumbledore's own loneliness. In his old age, Albus' decision not to have created a family of his own weighed heavily upon him. Severus couldn't have been dearer to him as if he had been the wizard's own flesh and blood.
-----------
Immediately after his exams were finished, Sirius Black summoned one of Gryffindor Tower's house elves.
"Yessum and what can I do for young mister?" the elf – a little mite known as Maddie Jane - asked.
"I want you to bring me Severus Snape's clean laundry, if you would. He's in Slytherin. I've been cross to him and want to make it up to him. So, I'll bring the clean clothes to him as a gesture of good will. Do you understand?" Black gave the elf his dazzling and perfect smile.
Of course, the elf grinned back at him, and within twenty minutes the pile of laundry had appeared upon Sirius Black's bed. He rooted through it impatiently. He had no wish to go through the Slytherin brat's underclothes and socks.
Within seconds, he found what he had been looking for.
----------
Severus returned to his bedroom to change clothes and then go study until dinner. "Aha, my laundry," he murmured. "When did this arrive?"
"Dunno. Wasn't here. Now, hush -- I'm trying to remember the seven levels of Hell," said Evan Ryper.
"Studying Dante?"
"Yeah. 'Muggle Art and Literature'. I've been bored to tears all term."
"I think Dante Alighieri was one of us," Sev commented. "He knew too much!" Chuckling, he sorted through his pile of laundry.
Suddenly, he froze.
There was his red sweater, or what remained of it.
Someone had taken a sharp object and ripped it apart.
"What's wrong, Snips?" Evan asked.
His voice quavered. "Somebody trashed my special sweater and I think I know who did it."
"Um, let me guess. One of those nasty Gryffindor prats who've been bothering you since you arrived at this place."
"Right." Sev's chin quivered and tears ran down his cheeks. He turned away to face the window next to his bed so his roommate wouldn't see them. "Sirius Black, I'll wager. Black name for a black heart. We'll just see how black I can make his eyes."
Evan turned to him, concerned. Snips' voice wasn't usually this cold and his speech wasn't usually this clipped and precise. "What are you thinking?" he asked.
"Never mind, Ryper," Severus said, blinking away his tears and holding the tattered remains of his beautiful Yuletide sweater. Making sure his wand was in his robes, he stuffed the red yarn chunks into his pocket. "No more victim. No more cowering. I am going to find Sirius Black and when I do, I intend to blast him into Kingdom Come."
Evan stood. "Sev, you can't. You know you can't. No magic here, and certainly no Dark magic. Dumbledore would freak!"
"Dumbledore understands," Snape growled. "Potter told me that all the Marauders had promised not to prank me at least until the term is over. Well, I have one more exam, Evan, and when it's taken tomorrow, the term will be over."
He strode out the door without another word.
---------
It was dinner time in the Great Hall, and the students were enjoying fresh corn on the cob, buttered snap beans, barbecued brisket, swordfish fillets, mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, and potatoes au gratin. They set to, chatting away to one another when their mouths weren't full. It was into this setting that Severus Snape – figuratively loaded for bear – entered.
"Sirius Black!" he shouted, facing the Gryffindor table. "Outside!"
Black looked up. James Potter, sitting to his right, said, "What've you done now, Padfoot? Did you beat him up again?"
"Nah. I – "Sirius remembered that Potter's mother had given Severus the destroyed sweater, and bit his tongue.
"BLACK!" Severus shrieked. "OUTSIDE! WE HAVE BUSINESS TO SETTLE!"
Every student's eyes were upon him. Black immediately went on the offensive.
"Oh my gods, Snivelly! Been huffing potions again? Sit down and stop bothering these people." He actually turned and ate a mouthful of brisket. Severus twitched his wand, levitating Sirius, who shrieked in protest.
Dumbledore – at the Head Table and very much aware of the situation – rose. "Severus, it's all right. Come in and eat, won't you?"
"I can't, Headmaster," Sev replied, levitating the student toward the exit. "Necessary business. Sorry to have bothered you all. Carry on!"
A wildly cursing Sirius Black floated to the outside, and the Slytherin slammed the great double doors behind them.
Sev turned to Black. "You. Destroyed. My. Sweater."
Sirius laughed, showing his perfect teeth. "Whoops, sorry about that, Snots. It just got a bit tangled, you see."
The Slytherin boy hit him with the expelliarmus spell, seizing his wand, and then threw multiple hexes.
The first made Black's long and shiny dark hair curl into ringlets.
The second replaced his school uniform with a silvery spangled tutu.
The third put his feet in pink toe shoes.
"Go inside and show them how talented you are, you nasty piece of Gryffindor crap. Tarantallegra!"
The doors burst open, Dumbledore and James Potter at the forefront. Black shot in between them, his long legs forced into multiple grand jetes.
Everyone began to laugh.
"I am the Queen of England," Sirius Black sang in a grating falsetto. "I love to sing and dance/ And if you don't adore me/ I'll kick you in the pants!" He then pirouetted his way past the Gryffindor table, wailing "O Fortuna Velut Luna" from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana.
"Severus, what are you up to?" Dumbledore whispered.
Turning to Potter, Sev said, "Black destroyed my red sweater, Headmaster. He took it and tore it to shreds. See?" He shoved his hand into his pocket and brought out the handful of tatters. "He destroyed my favorite lucky sweater, and I am not going to take it any more!"
Dumbledore exchanged glances with James. "I will give you exactly thirty more seconds, Severus, and then it must stop. Agreed?"
"Agreed," the boy said, turning his gaze indoors to the frantically dancing six-footer, now singing an opera melody.
"Tor-ee-a-dor-a/Don't spit on the floor-a/Use the cuspidor-a/What do you think it's for-a?"
Snape grinned. "Hey Black! Let me see ten more tour jetes, followed by sixteen chaine turns!"
Black began flinging himself into the air, eyes round and legs beating the air. His humiliation was complete when he looked into the eyes of several young ladies upon which he was sweet, and noted that they were laughing themselves sick.
"All right then, Sneerius," Severus shouted. "Your performance was exquisite. Let's hear it for Sillyass Black!" Without hesitation, the assembled student body broke into applause and laughter. Still unable to move on his own, Black looked down and shrieked.
"Well, that's it, then," Severus said, looking up at Headmaster Dumbledore. "I could have blasted his soul to oblivion, but I would like to eventually graduate from this institution."
"I'm proud of you, son. Frankly, I'm surprised that you didn't turn him into a pillar of salt."
"Not a bad idea, Headmaster!"
"Don't you dare, child!"
James noticed that Severus clutched the mess of tattered yarn to his chest. He extended his arm, patting the boy's shoulder. "Good on you, Snape," he said. "About time you fought back."
"Never knew how," Sev returned. "Never thought I was worth it." He twitched his wand, restoring Black (now retching miserably over an empty soup tureen) to his original garments.
"You realize I have to deduct 20 points from Slytherin, don't you?" said Dumbledore.
"Yes, sir. It's worth every single point."
"It also seems that Mr. Black has lost 20 points for Gryffindor because he broke his promise not to prank you until the term ends, which it has not."
"Stupid git," Sev murmured. "Jumped the gun."
"Now, Severus," the Headmaster chided.
----------
James and Lily and Severus all made their goodbyes (with Lily's tearful admonition that it was only farewell for a few months and not a true goodbye). James invited Sev for two weeks of Pig Cakes and Quidditch; Sev agreed and promised that he would brew Mrs. Potter some of his special "All- Clean Solution", guaranteed to get rid of any household or clothing stain. Lily promised to stay in touch with both young gentlemen.
So much confusion and suffering this past year. Sev's head spun just thinking about it.
He liked to think that he had made it through the Darkness and into the Light. He also liked to believe that he would be happier next term, and that he and James and Lily would remain friends. Professor Azaki (who was off to climb Mt. Fujiyama – again) had promised to teach them wizard mountaineering in the fall.
Lucius Malfoy had also invited Sev for a visit to Malfoy Manor, promising to introduce him to some friends who would appreciate him.
Who knows, Sev thought to himself.
I might end up with more new friends than I know what to do with.
---------
The months passed, and winter blended into spring.
Severus Snape was caught up in all his classes. He voraciously read about mountaineering and played rock and pebble Quidditch with James Potter, even showing off a bit for Lily. He felt healthy for the first time in his life and had even put on a bit of muscle. He smiled more and cried less.
The broom practice he enjoyed at the Sunny Meadow had paid off, for Sev had become somewhat of a daredevil. He and James would plummet straight down accompanied by Lily's shrieks to be careful; Potter always pulled up and away first. The one time Sev did hit the ground, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had been there to laugh at him (Remus Lupin was there too but had said nothing). James told his Marauder friends to shut the hell up and asked Lupin to help him get Sev to the Hospital Wing, which he did gladly. Luckily, the biggest injury was to the Slytherin's pride.
During the last few months of school, Severus also saw Asphora LaChance, Sibelius Hammer, and Aloysius Bede when Headmaster Dumbledore took him back to St. Mungo's for follow-up care. They talked about things like Sev's anger with his parents and his own jealousy and resentment of Sirius Black. It wasn't fun at all. It was gut churning and miserable and made Severus cry a lot, but it was necessary.
Severus did remember to use some of the "tools" the three healers had given him. One he liked best was "stay in the day". This meant that he shouldn't worry about all his tomorrows.
Aloysius had also taught him a trick to use when feeling jealous. "When you're awake in the middle of the night burning with resentment against Sirius Black or whoever has offended you, they are most assuredly at home in bed enjoying a sound sleep! They certainly aren't lying awake worrying about you, now, are they?"
Severus had shaken his head. "So the only one I've hurt is myself, really."
"That's right. So – next time you find yourself stewing in resentment, Sev, just roll over and go back to sleep!"
Asphora had taught him the piece of advice that helped Severus most of all. "A mistake isn't a sin, Sev," she had told him. "You are a human being. Human beings make mistakes all the time, and it's all right. You don't have to be perfect, honey!"
Sev had blinked hard at this. His entire life had been a quest to be perfect so his father wouldn't beat him or his classmates wouldn't make fun of him. "But do you know something, Shonsey?" he had asked. "Even when I thought I was perfect, my father would find a reason to hit me anyway. Why did he do that?"
The healer had sighed. "Some people are just mean and rotten and evil, honey," she had told him. "Some enjoy hurting other people and they don't feel bad about it. I think your father was one of those people. I'm so glad we were able to stop him."
Sev had nodded solemnly.
"Remember, baby, it wasn't you. You weren't the bad one. You weren't the one who made so many terrible choices. You did the very best you could under those awful circumstances. Now that you are free of him, work on your own self-reliance. You are no longer a victim. You don't have to cower before anyone anymore, Sev. If someone hurts you today, you can deal with it. Of course, you can find a way to do that without breaking every school rule in existence!"
Sev had grinned. "Yes, Shonsey!"
Severus also spent a portion of every day with his guardian. Albus Dumbledore always had tea and a little plate of divinity fudge waiting for him. It was all very informal; Sev would tell the Headmaster how his day had gone and how he had felt about things that had happened. Dumbledore, in turn, would give him a bit of advice (if he asked for it) and always gave the Dark child a warm and healing hug.
They both enjoyed their few minutes together, knowing that the other person loved them and wished them well. This was all to the good and helped rebuild Sev's tattered self-esteem. It also soothed Dumbledore's own loneliness. In his old age, Albus' decision not to have created a family of his own weighed heavily upon him. Severus couldn't have been dearer to him as if he had been the wizard's own flesh and blood.
-----------
Immediately after his exams were finished, Sirius Black summoned one of Gryffindor Tower's house elves.
"Yessum and what can I do for young mister?" the elf – a little mite known as Maddie Jane - asked.
"I want you to bring me Severus Snape's clean laundry, if you would. He's in Slytherin. I've been cross to him and want to make it up to him. So, I'll bring the clean clothes to him as a gesture of good will. Do you understand?" Black gave the elf his dazzling and perfect smile.
Of course, the elf grinned back at him, and within twenty minutes the pile of laundry had appeared upon Sirius Black's bed. He rooted through it impatiently. He had no wish to go through the Slytherin brat's underclothes and socks.
Within seconds, he found what he had been looking for.
----------
Severus returned to his bedroom to change clothes and then go study until dinner. "Aha, my laundry," he murmured. "When did this arrive?"
"Dunno. Wasn't here. Now, hush -- I'm trying to remember the seven levels of Hell," said Evan Ryper.
"Studying Dante?"
"Yeah. 'Muggle Art and Literature'. I've been bored to tears all term."
"I think Dante Alighieri was one of us," Sev commented. "He knew too much!" Chuckling, he sorted through his pile of laundry.
Suddenly, he froze.
There was his red sweater, or what remained of it.
Someone had taken a sharp object and ripped it apart.
"What's wrong, Snips?" Evan asked.
His voice quavered. "Somebody trashed my special sweater and I think I know who did it."
"Um, let me guess. One of those nasty Gryffindor prats who've been bothering you since you arrived at this place."
"Right." Sev's chin quivered and tears ran down his cheeks. He turned away to face the window next to his bed so his roommate wouldn't see them. "Sirius Black, I'll wager. Black name for a black heart. We'll just see how black I can make his eyes."
Evan turned to him, concerned. Snips' voice wasn't usually this cold and his speech wasn't usually this clipped and precise. "What are you thinking?" he asked.
"Never mind, Ryper," Severus said, blinking away his tears and holding the tattered remains of his beautiful Yuletide sweater. Making sure his wand was in his robes, he stuffed the red yarn chunks into his pocket. "No more victim. No more cowering. I am going to find Sirius Black and when I do, I intend to blast him into Kingdom Come."
Evan stood. "Sev, you can't. You know you can't. No magic here, and certainly no Dark magic. Dumbledore would freak!"
"Dumbledore understands," Snape growled. "Potter told me that all the Marauders had promised not to prank me at least until the term is over. Well, I have one more exam, Evan, and when it's taken tomorrow, the term will be over."
He strode out the door without another word.
---------
It was dinner time in the Great Hall, and the students were enjoying fresh corn on the cob, buttered snap beans, barbecued brisket, swordfish fillets, mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, and potatoes au gratin. They set to, chatting away to one another when their mouths weren't full. It was into this setting that Severus Snape – figuratively loaded for bear – entered.
"Sirius Black!" he shouted, facing the Gryffindor table. "Outside!"
Black looked up. James Potter, sitting to his right, said, "What've you done now, Padfoot? Did you beat him up again?"
"Nah. I – "Sirius remembered that Potter's mother had given Severus the destroyed sweater, and bit his tongue.
"BLACK!" Severus shrieked. "OUTSIDE! WE HAVE BUSINESS TO SETTLE!"
Every student's eyes were upon him. Black immediately went on the offensive.
"Oh my gods, Snivelly! Been huffing potions again? Sit down and stop bothering these people." He actually turned and ate a mouthful of brisket. Severus twitched his wand, levitating Sirius, who shrieked in protest.
Dumbledore – at the Head Table and very much aware of the situation – rose. "Severus, it's all right. Come in and eat, won't you?"
"I can't, Headmaster," Sev replied, levitating the student toward the exit. "Necessary business. Sorry to have bothered you all. Carry on!"
A wildly cursing Sirius Black floated to the outside, and the Slytherin slammed the great double doors behind them.
Sev turned to Black. "You. Destroyed. My. Sweater."
Sirius laughed, showing his perfect teeth. "Whoops, sorry about that, Snots. It just got a bit tangled, you see."
The Slytherin boy hit him with the expelliarmus spell, seizing his wand, and then threw multiple hexes.
The first made Black's long and shiny dark hair curl into ringlets.
The second replaced his school uniform with a silvery spangled tutu.
The third put his feet in pink toe shoes.
"Go inside and show them how talented you are, you nasty piece of Gryffindor crap. Tarantallegra!"
The doors burst open, Dumbledore and James Potter at the forefront. Black shot in between them, his long legs forced into multiple grand jetes.
Everyone began to laugh.
"I am the Queen of England," Sirius Black sang in a grating falsetto. "I love to sing and dance/ And if you don't adore me/ I'll kick you in the pants!" He then pirouetted his way past the Gryffindor table, wailing "O Fortuna Velut Luna" from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana.
"Severus, what are you up to?" Dumbledore whispered.
Turning to Potter, Sev said, "Black destroyed my red sweater, Headmaster. He took it and tore it to shreds. See?" He shoved his hand into his pocket and brought out the handful of tatters. "He destroyed my favorite lucky sweater, and I am not going to take it any more!"
Dumbledore exchanged glances with James. "I will give you exactly thirty more seconds, Severus, and then it must stop. Agreed?"
"Agreed," the boy said, turning his gaze indoors to the frantically dancing six-footer, now singing an opera melody.
"Tor-ee-a-dor-a/Don't spit on the floor-a/Use the cuspidor-a/What do you think it's for-a?"
Snape grinned. "Hey Black! Let me see ten more tour jetes, followed by sixteen chaine turns!"
Black began flinging himself into the air, eyes round and legs beating the air. His humiliation was complete when he looked into the eyes of several young ladies upon which he was sweet, and noted that they were laughing themselves sick.
"All right then, Sneerius," Severus shouted. "Your performance was exquisite. Let's hear it for Sillyass Black!" Without hesitation, the assembled student body broke into applause and laughter. Still unable to move on his own, Black looked down and shrieked.
"Well, that's it, then," Severus said, looking up at Headmaster Dumbledore. "I could have blasted his soul to oblivion, but I would like to eventually graduate from this institution."
"I'm proud of you, son. Frankly, I'm surprised that you didn't turn him into a pillar of salt."
"Not a bad idea, Headmaster!"
"Don't you dare, child!"
James noticed that Severus clutched the mess of tattered yarn to his chest. He extended his arm, patting the boy's shoulder. "Good on you, Snape," he said. "About time you fought back."
"Never knew how," Sev returned. "Never thought I was worth it." He twitched his wand, restoring Black (now retching miserably over an empty soup tureen) to his original garments.
"You realize I have to deduct 20 points from Slytherin, don't you?" said Dumbledore.
"Yes, sir. It's worth every single point."
"It also seems that Mr. Black has lost 20 points for Gryffindor because he broke his promise not to prank you until the term ends, which it has not."
"Stupid git," Sev murmured. "Jumped the gun."
"Now, Severus," the Headmaster chided.
----------
James and Lily and Severus all made their goodbyes (with Lily's tearful admonition that it was only farewell for a few months and not a true goodbye). James invited Sev for two weeks of Pig Cakes and Quidditch; Sev agreed and promised that he would brew Mrs. Potter some of his special "All- Clean Solution", guaranteed to get rid of any household or clothing stain. Lily promised to stay in touch with both young gentlemen.
So much confusion and suffering this past year. Sev's head spun just thinking about it.
He liked to think that he had made it through the Darkness and into the Light. He also liked to believe that he would be happier next term, and that he and James and Lily would remain friends. Professor Azaki (who was off to climb Mt. Fujiyama – again) had promised to teach them wizard mountaineering in the fall.
Lucius Malfoy had also invited Sev for a visit to Malfoy Manor, promising to introduce him to some friends who would appreciate him.
Who knows, Sev thought to himself.
I might end up with more new friends than I know what to do with.
---------