Author's Notes: in reply, I apologize on the length of these chapters. I regulate the length by my very first chapter, and since that day the muse only gave me two pages, the rest have to follow through somewhat. Hmm, this fic is turning more torturous than I wanted to. There will be light I tell you! Thanks again for all the kind reviews. You guys rule. Haru fans unite! Lol. And lastly, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but I had to cut it, well, there.

Chapter 4

"You. Tree. How long. Did you not see?"

Hands clutched his knees as he gasped for air, I gazed passively from the tree. "Yes." I did see him. I saw all of them - scrambling about, searching for me in vain.

His eyes burned. "What game are you playing at, Haru? You think this is funny? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you on drugs? Get down from the tree and face me."

I played with one of my rings, avoiding his gaze. Sometimes I feel crucified by that gaze. It was so intense, undiluted with determination. I don't know how Yuki could keep his cool against those eyes, but then Yuki wasn't the ice prince for nothing. I frowned at my thoughts. Yuki, I pushed him away like that. "Kyou, tell Yuki I'm sorry."

He gave me a strange look before grunting. "Tell him yourself."

A thick fold of silence grew, licking with its velvet tongue until he grew weary. Claimed, his body drooped to the ground, but his voice was cutting. "I'm surprised you didn't molest him right there," he chortled slightly. "He threw himself over-"

I jumped down from the tree and had him in an arm lock. "Don't talk about me like that. I'm not like that. Don't talk about Yuki like that either," I muttered. "You know nothing."

He struggled beneath my grip, Kyou-kun was strong. "Oh please don't give me that crap, Haru. Don't give me that 'nobody understands my pain' crap." he overthrew me. "You think you're the only one in pain? You're not, and you know what else? You're just a coward! That's right! Just a coward! You turn into Black Haru whenever you're pissed off and you throw a fit instead of dealing with your problems. Well now it's catching on isn't it? You can't always run can you?" he spat such cruel words at me.

"To hell with your selfishness, Haru. I've had enough. I don't want to collect you when you're in pieces every time. You never remember afterwards anyway. You block out your misery with rage, you block anyone who try to help you, and then you forget what happened and turn into some zen monk when you're White Haru. What's wrong with you?! Control yourself goddammit!!" he shook me in exasperation.

I hit him. He hit me. I hit him again. He growled in annoyance. He caught me. He had me in a lock. "Kyou-kun...is very strong. Unlike me, Kyou-kun is very...strong," I smiled.

He gaped at me. His wild orange hair stuck out as his eyes scrutinized me in half-worry and half-amazement.

"Kyou-kun..." I closed my eyes. "I don't always forget. I only remember what I want to. You remember that day? Kyou?" I opened my eyes, a feverish glint in them. I caught him. I caught his lips.

I had never kissed another boy before. There were times when I thought about it, but doing it was another thing. His lips were soft, natural, and smelled of spices. They weren't cold and coated in lipstick like Rin's. They were so sweet, so raw, and so angry. I could feel his ire catching up to his astonishment, soon he would push me away in disgust, but before then, I wanted to taste his wrath, I wanted to flirt with his slipping sanity. I bit. He groaned as I darted my tongue out beside his clenching teeth. He bit back, catching my own swollen lip. He had to, Kyou never backs away from a challenge. But I used his pride against him and raided his mouth.

Curry spice.

And then it was gone. He pushed me. His breathing short. His eyes unfocused. He looked at me, and he said, and he said... He couldn't say anything.

My koneko-chan was gone before I could tell him, that this wasn't something I could forget. He wasn't something I could forget.