Chapter 5b-
Jacen Solo braced his arm against the wall of the shower and let the steamy, hot water cascade over his tired body. The heat and pressure helped relieve some of the tension that had built up in his muscles. The night had been a long one and very unexpected. He replayed its events over in his mind again.
He'd gone to bed at a normal time, had no trouble getting to sleep. Then as if appearing from nowhere, Tahiri had woken him with a cry. How she had gotten into his locked room was still a mystery unless he chose to believe her story about Anakin's ghostly apparition. And he did believe her. One look at her and no one could doubt her sincerity that she in deed did see Anakin Solo.
Broken, she had fallen into Jacen's arms, crying until she could cry no more, finally admitting she needed help to work through her grief. It had been a breakthrough, one he welcomed without hesitation.
They talked for a while longer until she could barely keep her eyes open.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep," Jacen suggested with his arm around her shoulders. "We can continue tomorrow when we're both a little more rested."
"No!" she protested, shocking him with her firm reply. "I mean I'm okay. I don't need any sleep."
Jacen chuckled. "Tahiri, you're ready to fall down right this very minute. You need some rest, and I'm not taking no for an answer," he asserted.
She paused to glare at him and then plopped down on his bed in surrender. Glancing up at him, she looked like a frightened little child. "Jacen, I'm- I'm scared. I'm afraid to go back there. afraid to sleep. Sometimes my dreams are, well, I just don't want to go."
Jacen stood there and studied her weary face, so young and yet so old, and his heart yearned to comfort her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her, he took her hand in his. "Okay. You don't have to go. You can stay here, but you have to rest." He cut off her argument before she could get a word out of her mouth. "I'll help you sleep. How does that sound?"
Slowly, she nodded her head. "Okay."
"All right then. Why don't you lie back on the pillow and close your eyes." She shot him a suspicious look and he laughed. "Trust me. This will work."
She did as he ordered even though it felt a bit strange having his brother's girlfriend lying in his bed. However, her fear of returning to her room alone and to the recurring nightmares she often must have far outweighed any apprehension she felt. Jacen scooted up along the edge to be closer to her.
"Now, try to relax and don't block me out. You've got to work with me for this to be successful." She flinched when Jacen's fingertips touched her temples, but she forced herself to do as he asked. "Take slow even breaths," he said softly, "and just focus on resting."
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing herself to calm. The feel of her face was surprisingly soft to his touch, and the last thing she said was, "I don't know if this is going to work."
He stifled a snicker, not wanting to wake her. Well, that didn't take long, he thought. Now to ensure that she'd be able to sleep in peace.
Jacen closed his own eyes and breathed in deeply as he delved into her mind. At first, he encountered a bit of resistance until he offered a reassuring brush through the Force. As he purged deeper into her thoughts, he found things he had expected would exist: sadness over Anakin's death, anger at the Yuuzhan Vong for their attempted shaping of her, fear of it all happening again. He saw flashes of her memories from childhood with the Tusken Raiders, when she first went to the Jedi Academy, when she first met Anakin. With each memory, he also felt the emotions that were so securely tethered to each one. It was as if he was watching her life play out like a holovid in his own mind.
He braced himself as the scenes escalated toward what was surely the climax of her life. Anakin's death. He 'watched' as she and Anakin escaped the enemy on Yavin 4 after her horrible capture by the Vong shapers. Jacen felt her confusion as she struggled to rediscover her true self amidst the many false memories that had been implanted in her mind. He felt her hatred as she swiftly and effectively decapitated the enemy culprit who had stolen her mental innocence.
Next, came a respite from the negative emotions as Jacen saw images of his own brother flash before him from her mind. He could feel the happiness, the concern, the love the two shared, and it nearly overwhelmed him when her thoughts jumped immediately to when she had last seen Anakin alive. His heart was sick with grief upon reliving that awful event, and he didn't know if it was only coming from her or also mingling with his own pain. Either way, this was ground zero-the main leash holding her back from the future that could be. Here is where he would focus his efforts.
Jacen used the Force to extract some of her pain and bear it upon himself. It wouldn't be gone forever. No, she would still have to work through all of her issues, but at least he could give her several hours of peace from her turmoil. He felt his shoulders begin to tense from the weight of her sorrow, and yet he continued. He would do this for her. for his brother.
Suddenly, he jerked his hands away from Tahiri's face and jumped up from the bedside, his heart pounding wildly. The last few thoughts he had 'viewed' had been quite unexpected. At first it had been a feeling of utter contentment coming from her memories of Anakin and the few kisses they had shared. Jacen almost felt like an intruder upon such private thoughts, but didn't really have time to because the next memory shocked him beyond his imaginings.
'I hate him,' Tahiri thought.
She didn't even have to say a name. Somehow Jacen knew it was he she was directing her anger toward. To know she felt so strongly against him was a bit sobering, and he needed to contemplate how to handle it. As he inhaled deeply again another thought sprang into his mind, only this one was his own memory and not Tahiri's.
'Take her, Jacen,' Anakin had said. 'Kiss Tahiri for me.'
How could I have forgotten? Jacen wondered as his gaze traveled back to the sleeping form on his bed. Amid all of the chaos of that terrible time, the memory of his brother's last request had been lost-- until now. The truth was, Anakin's words left him more shaken than Tahiri's. He knew she was just lashing out because of her pain and obviously was already getting past that feeling by letting him help her. However, his little brother's words were an all-together different story.
Jacen paced back and forth along his bedside, stopping intermittently to glance back at Tahiri. She looked so peaceful, her long lashes gracing her unblemished cheeks. For the first time she didn't look like just another kid. Knowing now all she'd gone through in her life, Jacen would never see her in the same way again.
He flipped off the water switch and shook out his wet hair. He stepped out of the stall and grabbed a dry towel, his mind still reeling from his experience. He pulled on his pants and walked back into his bedroom to retrieve his shirt when he noticed Tahiri stirring on the bed. Slowly, her eyes opened and she propped herself up on her elbows.
"Good morning," Jacen offered as he slipped his shirt over his head and stretched it into place. "Did you sleep well?" he asked with a friendly smile.
"What time is it?" she muttered sleepily.
"Morning," he answered, walking over to his window and raising the blind to let the sun in. She shielded her eyes and groaned. "Not a morning person, huh?"
"Not really," she admitted. She threw back the cover, slung her legs over the side of the bed, then stood and stretched out the kinks in her neck. "Did you get any sleep?"
"A little," Jacen said glancing down to the rumpled blanket and pillow lying in the floor. "You hungry? Why don't we go get some breakfast?"
Tahiri frowned as her hand came up to her disheveled head. "I think I need to clean up first."
"Sure. I'll walk you back to your room, if you like. You can get a shower and then we'll get something to eat before we start."
Her eyebrow lifted in confusion. "Start? Start what?"
"Working through this pain together," Jacen explained. "I said I'd help, and I won't go back on my word."
She blushed and looked away. "Oh, that," she mumbled. "You know, I think I feel fine now, Jacen. And surely you have something better to do with your time than spend it worrying about me."
"Don't be ridiculous." He moved in close beside her and placed his hand on her back. "Now, time's wasting so let's go."
She smiled slightly and he followed her out the door. 'This should be an interesting day,' he thought. As he watched her walking ahead of him, Anakin's words kept repeating in his mind.
'Take her, Jacen. Kiss Tahiri for me.'
Jacen Solo braced his arm against the wall of the shower and let the steamy, hot water cascade over his tired body. The heat and pressure helped relieve some of the tension that had built up in his muscles. The night had been a long one and very unexpected. He replayed its events over in his mind again.
He'd gone to bed at a normal time, had no trouble getting to sleep. Then as if appearing from nowhere, Tahiri had woken him with a cry. How she had gotten into his locked room was still a mystery unless he chose to believe her story about Anakin's ghostly apparition. And he did believe her. One look at her and no one could doubt her sincerity that she in deed did see Anakin Solo.
Broken, she had fallen into Jacen's arms, crying until she could cry no more, finally admitting she needed help to work through her grief. It had been a breakthrough, one he welcomed without hesitation.
They talked for a while longer until she could barely keep her eyes open.
"Why don't you try to get some sleep," Jacen suggested with his arm around her shoulders. "We can continue tomorrow when we're both a little more rested."
"No!" she protested, shocking him with her firm reply. "I mean I'm okay. I don't need any sleep."
Jacen chuckled. "Tahiri, you're ready to fall down right this very minute. You need some rest, and I'm not taking no for an answer," he asserted.
She paused to glare at him and then plopped down on his bed in surrender. Glancing up at him, she looked like a frightened little child. "Jacen, I'm- I'm scared. I'm afraid to go back there. afraid to sleep. Sometimes my dreams are, well, I just don't want to go."
Jacen stood there and studied her weary face, so young and yet so old, and his heart yearned to comfort her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her, he took her hand in his. "Okay. You don't have to go. You can stay here, but you have to rest." He cut off her argument before she could get a word out of her mouth. "I'll help you sleep. How does that sound?"
Slowly, she nodded her head. "Okay."
"All right then. Why don't you lie back on the pillow and close your eyes." She shot him a suspicious look and he laughed. "Trust me. This will work."
She did as he ordered even though it felt a bit strange having his brother's girlfriend lying in his bed. However, her fear of returning to her room alone and to the recurring nightmares she often must have far outweighed any apprehension she felt. Jacen scooted up along the edge to be closer to her.
"Now, try to relax and don't block me out. You've got to work with me for this to be successful." She flinched when Jacen's fingertips touched her temples, but she forced herself to do as he asked. "Take slow even breaths," he said softly, "and just focus on resting."
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing herself to calm. The feel of her face was surprisingly soft to his touch, and the last thing she said was, "I don't know if this is going to work."
He stifled a snicker, not wanting to wake her. Well, that didn't take long, he thought. Now to ensure that she'd be able to sleep in peace.
Jacen closed his own eyes and breathed in deeply as he delved into her mind. At first, he encountered a bit of resistance until he offered a reassuring brush through the Force. As he purged deeper into her thoughts, he found things he had expected would exist: sadness over Anakin's death, anger at the Yuuzhan Vong for their attempted shaping of her, fear of it all happening again. He saw flashes of her memories from childhood with the Tusken Raiders, when she first went to the Jedi Academy, when she first met Anakin. With each memory, he also felt the emotions that were so securely tethered to each one. It was as if he was watching her life play out like a holovid in his own mind.
He braced himself as the scenes escalated toward what was surely the climax of her life. Anakin's death. He 'watched' as she and Anakin escaped the enemy on Yavin 4 after her horrible capture by the Vong shapers. Jacen felt her confusion as she struggled to rediscover her true self amidst the many false memories that had been implanted in her mind. He felt her hatred as she swiftly and effectively decapitated the enemy culprit who had stolen her mental innocence.
Next, came a respite from the negative emotions as Jacen saw images of his own brother flash before him from her mind. He could feel the happiness, the concern, the love the two shared, and it nearly overwhelmed him when her thoughts jumped immediately to when she had last seen Anakin alive. His heart was sick with grief upon reliving that awful event, and he didn't know if it was only coming from her or also mingling with his own pain. Either way, this was ground zero-the main leash holding her back from the future that could be. Here is where he would focus his efforts.
Jacen used the Force to extract some of her pain and bear it upon himself. It wouldn't be gone forever. No, she would still have to work through all of her issues, but at least he could give her several hours of peace from her turmoil. He felt his shoulders begin to tense from the weight of her sorrow, and yet he continued. He would do this for her. for his brother.
Suddenly, he jerked his hands away from Tahiri's face and jumped up from the bedside, his heart pounding wildly. The last few thoughts he had 'viewed' had been quite unexpected. At first it had been a feeling of utter contentment coming from her memories of Anakin and the few kisses they had shared. Jacen almost felt like an intruder upon such private thoughts, but didn't really have time to because the next memory shocked him beyond his imaginings.
'I hate him,' Tahiri thought.
She didn't even have to say a name. Somehow Jacen knew it was he she was directing her anger toward. To know she felt so strongly against him was a bit sobering, and he needed to contemplate how to handle it. As he inhaled deeply again another thought sprang into his mind, only this one was his own memory and not Tahiri's.
'Take her, Jacen,' Anakin had said. 'Kiss Tahiri for me.'
How could I have forgotten? Jacen wondered as his gaze traveled back to the sleeping form on his bed. Amid all of the chaos of that terrible time, the memory of his brother's last request had been lost-- until now. The truth was, Anakin's words left him more shaken than Tahiri's. He knew she was just lashing out because of her pain and obviously was already getting past that feeling by letting him help her. However, his little brother's words were an all-together different story.
Jacen paced back and forth along his bedside, stopping intermittently to glance back at Tahiri. She looked so peaceful, her long lashes gracing her unblemished cheeks. For the first time she didn't look like just another kid. Knowing now all she'd gone through in her life, Jacen would never see her in the same way again.
He flipped off the water switch and shook out his wet hair. He stepped out of the stall and grabbed a dry towel, his mind still reeling from his experience. He pulled on his pants and walked back into his bedroom to retrieve his shirt when he noticed Tahiri stirring on the bed. Slowly, her eyes opened and she propped herself up on her elbows.
"Good morning," Jacen offered as he slipped his shirt over his head and stretched it into place. "Did you sleep well?" he asked with a friendly smile.
"What time is it?" she muttered sleepily.
"Morning," he answered, walking over to his window and raising the blind to let the sun in. She shielded her eyes and groaned. "Not a morning person, huh?"
"Not really," she admitted. She threw back the cover, slung her legs over the side of the bed, then stood and stretched out the kinks in her neck. "Did you get any sleep?"
"A little," Jacen said glancing down to the rumpled blanket and pillow lying in the floor. "You hungry? Why don't we go get some breakfast?"
Tahiri frowned as her hand came up to her disheveled head. "I think I need to clean up first."
"Sure. I'll walk you back to your room, if you like. You can get a shower and then we'll get something to eat before we start."
Her eyebrow lifted in confusion. "Start? Start what?"
"Working through this pain together," Jacen explained. "I said I'd help, and I won't go back on my word."
She blushed and looked away. "Oh, that," she mumbled. "You know, I think I feel fine now, Jacen. And surely you have something better to do with your time than spend it worrying about me."
"Don't be ridiculous." He moved in close beside her and placed his hand on her back. "Now, time's wasting so let's go."
She smiled slightly and he followed her out the door. 'This should be an interesting day,' he thought. As he watched her walking ahead of him, Anakin's words kept repeating in his mind.
'Take her, Jacen. Kiss Tahiri for me.'