Left With YOU
Chapter Nine
By Mrs. Padfoot
Author's Note: Meh. I was forced to write this. Sortof.
Oh, honestly, Alex, you were not. -Mrs. Prongs
Stop denying my victimhood.
&&
"Sirius."
"Sirius."
"SIRIUS."
"GODDAMNIT SIRIUS. GET YOUR HAND OFF HER ARSE AND GET OVER HERE! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU," yelled Remus.
"EESH, Moony. I'm COMING," said Sirius, disentangling himself from Alexandra and heading to where Remus was glaring at him full-force.
"Sirius. Stephanie invited Prongs and Lily along with us. What are we going to do?" said Remus, glancing at Sirius and wringing his hands.
"Go scavenger hunting with them?" said Sirius cluelessly.
"We can't! They're using our list. The one Jenny and I were using. You know the one with that thing 'Dumbledore' added to the list?"
"Are you insinuating that I put Jamesey's – er, things, on the list?" said Sirius innocently.
"Yes."
"I can't believe you, Moony."
"Good for you. But anyway, that means James is going to discover that little item sooner or later. And unfortunately for you, Jamesey is not stupid. And he's going to connect that to you."
"Oh. You're right."
"Of course I'm right, Sirius. We have to get rid of them. Just, how?"
"Relax, Moony," said Sirius, draping an arm casually around his friend and motioning hugely out his arm as if he were giving Remus the talk. "We're Marauders, remember? We can do anything."
"Let's just hope we can Maraud a Marauder."
&&
"Er, James?" said Lily, trying to hide her amusement.
"Hmm?"
"You hair... it's kindof... pink. Did you notice?"
James blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"I said your hair's pink."
"What?"
"Your hair. It's pink."
"Are you serious?"
"YES. Your hair is pink, James."
"SIRIUS!" yelled James.
"What, Jamesey?" said Sirius from where he and Alexandra were sitting.
"I have a sudden urge to maim you."
&&
"Okay, so it wasn't the most subtle thing we could have done. In fact, it was bloody obvious after that trick we pulled on Snape. But it worked, didn't it? Are Jamesey and Lily hunting with us anymore?"
"Sirius. Next time, I am going to come up with it," said Remus, who was unsurprisingly very annoyed with his friend.
"You said you didn't have any ideas."
"I meant I didn't have any good ideas. But no matter how bad my ideas were they don't even begin to compare to your ideas. Your good ideas make my bad ideas look like the work of Einstein."
"Eeesh. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."
"Yes, I seem to do that every morning. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that my bed is next to yours."
"Moooony," whined Sirius, "what's wrong with you?"
Remus didn't answer.
"Fine," said Sirius, stepping forward to catch up with the group of Ravenclaw girls that were conversing in front of them.
"Aleeeex," said Sirius, "Moony's in a bad mood!"
"Just ignore him. He's obviously had a bad day. I'm sure you weren't the cause of it," said Alexandra.
Stephanie snorted.
"Can we please just abandon them?" groaned Jenny.
&&
"I can't BELIEVE HIM. How dare he turn my hair pink? That's reserved for the scummiest of the scummiest! Like... like... Snivellus!"
"Prat," said Lily jokingly, "at least you knew the countercurse. Snape didn't."
"Yes, but it's different."
"Different how?"
"Honestly. Because I'm me and Snivellus is... well, not me."
"Well said," said Lily, rolling her eyes. "Ohhkay, what's next?"
"Mmm... hey, look. Apple shampoo. I know where we can get that."
"Oh do you? Where?" said Lily, arching an eyebrow.
"Lily's bathroom!" said James triumphantly.
"And what makes you think that I'm going to let you have my apple shampoo?"
"Errr... you love me?"
"Think again."
"Because I love you?"
"Not good enough."
"Because if we don't, Sirius will win?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Didn't you smell? Alexandra has apple shampoo too," James informed her.
"Oh does she?"
"Mmhmm. It doesn't smell as good as yours, though."
"Err... James? It's the same shampoo. It comes from the tap in the prefects bathroom," said Lily, grinning up at him.
"What, is the head's bathroom below you?"
"Mm, no, it's just always messier than the prefect's bathroom."
"What are you talking about? It's clean!" said James indignantly.
"No, it's not. But what can you expect? I mean, you use it."
"I resent that."
"Mmhmm," said Lily. "James?"
"What?"
"Why were you smelling Alexandra's hair?"
"Why? Do you care?"
"Nooo, it's just that I just hate fighting, you know. I wouldn't want to see you get beaten to a pulp by Sirius."
"Right, Lily," said James, grinning.
"I'm serious!"
"I know," said James, still grinning. "I smelled it this morning. Before Sirius and I switched places. Alex accidentally fell into me and I smelled her hair."
"Accidentally? ACCIDENTALLY? Right, James. How naïve are you? Honestly. Why that – "
"Y'know, Lily? I don't think you hate me anymore. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that you – "
"OhlookJames," said Lily quickly, "we're at the prefect's bathroom!"
&&
"So Jenny," said Steph.
"Yeah?" said Jenny, still staring at Remus, who was still avoiding talking to Sirius. (Not that Sirius noticed or anything, but that's another story. That no one needs to hear.)
"When do I get to see James' underpants?"
Jenny raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Stephanie.
"WHAT?"
"Oh, nothing," said Jenny. "Are you sure you want to see them? They're nothing much."
"So? I should, you know, check over every item. Just to make sure it's acceptable. You know."
"Yeah," said Jenny. "Well, go ahead. Remus has them."
"Remus has them?"
"Yes," said Jenny.
"Why does Remus have James's underpants?"
"Because he's keeping our items," said Jenny.
"But... Remus doesn't understand," said Steph.
"Understand what?"
"The importance of James's underpants!"
"Uh, Steph? I'm not sure anyone understands that. Excepting you, of course."
"Fine."
&&
"Okaay. Which knob's apple, Lily?"
"Er," said Lily, glancing at the row of shampoo knobs. "Well, it's a middle one."
James blinked.
"That eliminates two."
"It's a start," said Lily, turning one of the knobs.
"That's not apple," said James, sniffing it. "That's what Steph uses. Coconut shampoo."
"STEPH uses? How do you know what Steph uses? You might as well go around wearing a sign on your back: I smell girls' hair!"
"Don't you think you're overreacting a bit, Lily?"
"NO! You aren't supposed to smell all their hair! GOD, James! Did she accidentally fall into you too?"
"Well... actually, yes, she did."
"Except, it probably wasn't accidental, knowing her," said Lily.
"Oh, that's not nice, Lily. You don't need to fight over me," said James, smirking.
"Who's fighting over you?"
James bit back another grin but wisely didn't answer.
"And Steph! Since when do you call her Steph? Her name is Stephanie. You're not supposed to be on a nickname basis with her!"
"Eeesh, Lily. It's so obvious that you're in – "
"HeyIfoundtheappleknob," said Lily as quickly as she possibly could.
"What about that?" said James, stifling a grin.