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Chapter 5 - The Room of Requirement
Harry found Luna in the seventh floor corridor after dinner. It had taken until the start of class before Ginny had stopped following him around, and until dinner for Hermione to stop staring at him and sighing.
The blonde girl was sitting cross-legged in front of a portrait of a particularly fat corgi holding a one-sided conversation.
"Hello, Luna", Harry stopped a few paces away, not sure if he was interrupting.
Luna swiveled her head to an uncomfortable angle to look at him, "Hello, Harry. Didn't you hear?"
He waited for a moment for her to continue. Luna sat still, staring at him with her protruding eyes. He hoped she would blink eventually.
"Uh, hear what?" He finally broke the silence.
"My name isn't Luna anymore. The rest of Ravenclaw has decided that I'm called Loony. And what is a name if it isn't what people call you? So I suppose my name is Loony Lovegood now."
She kept her same, dreamy smile fixed in place. Harry couldn't tell if she was upset about it or not.
"What if I keep calling you Luna, though? Wouldn't that make it your name?"
She lifted one finger to tap on her chin a few times, brow furrowed, "I suppose that makes sense. Then I'm Luna - at least for the moment."
"Great, Luna, good. I had a quick question-"
"Do you think I could be Tabitha later? I've always thought it might be nice to be a Tabitha…"
Her voice trailed off as she kept tapping her chin to the beat of a Weird Sisters song.
"Maybe later? Look, Luna. I just need to know if there are any secret rooms you know about that Umbridge wouldn't be able to get into."
Luna dropped her hand back to her lap and finally blinked, "Well of course."
She pointed down the corridor behind her without breaking eye contact, "You just walk past that tapestry three times with your eyes closed. Think really hard about what kind of room you need and a door appears. But I don't think anyone else can open it. You might be able to let people in, but I haven't been able to try it with another person."
Harry glanced down to where she was pointing, "How did you figure that out?"
"Oh, I do that in front of every tapestry just in case something happens. I also hiss at all the taps in the girls bathrooms, but that only worked once, too."
She picked herself up off the floor as Harry rubbed his forehead. He wasn't sure if his scar was hurting again or if it was just a regular headache.
"Come on! I'll show you."
She skipped the short distance down the hall and stopped near the tapestry. She breathed a deep sigh, closed her eyes, and walked back and forth three times. Harry really shouldn't have been surprised after living in Hogwarts for four years already, but he still jumped a little when a door wiggled its way into existing just across from the tapestry.
Luna clapped her hands when she saw it and pulled it open. Harry stepped closer to see inside. The room must have been massive, but it was hard to tell with all of the junk filling it. It looked like the leftovers of generations of Hogwarts students - broken quills, old broomsticks, and lost textbooks. Plus what looked like every item Filch had ever confiscated.
Luna held the door open and frowned, "Odd."
He glanced back at her, taken aback, "What?"
"I forgot to think of anything while I was summoning the door. I thought it would be empty."
"Is there any way to move some of this stuff? We'll need a place to practice."
Luna nodded and closed the door. She and Harry watched it vanish and then she nodded to him, "Go ahead and try it. Just think about what you need."
Feeling a little foolish, but now pretty certain that it would at least work, Harry started walking back and forth in front of the blank section of wall. He screwed his eyes shut and thought hard about how much they needed a place to practice defense.
After following the instructions Luna had given him Harry opened his eyes and turned around. The door was back. He took a deep breath and opened it. The room was now much smaller and had several circles marked out on the floor in tiny runes. The walls were lined with thick padding and a few chairs were gathered around a large table.
"That's more like it", Harry said as he took a few steps into the room. Luna followed him in, immediately turned around and ran into one of the padded walls. She bounced off and landed on the floor.
Harry turned around as she stood up, "I thought the floor might have cushioning charms, but I don't think so."
Harry opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and closed his mouth. Luna rubbed her bottom where she had landed on the floor.
Harry turned back to the circles inlaid into the floor, "These must be for dueling. I wonder if the runes stop spells from crossing the circle."
He walked into the center of one of the circles and slowly spun on the spot. He stopped when he was facing back toward Luna to find that she had her wand out pointed at him. He raised his hands and started to protest but it was too late.
"Petrificus totalus!"
Harry tried to dive to the side, but before he could get out of the way the spell struck him. His arms snapped to his sides, his legs locked together, and his entire body went stiff. He dropped painfully to the floor, laying on his back.
All he could do was move his eyes as Luna walked up next to him and bent over to inspect him.
"Oh, I suppose they don't stop spells from coming in. I learned that spell from some of the Ravenclaw girls, but I'm afraid they never used the counter-jinx on me. But don't worry, it wears off after a half hour or so."
She settled onto the floor next to Harry, crossed legged, and laid her wand on the floor next to her.
"So we have a little time. Have I ever told you about the crumple-horned snorkack?"
Nearly an hour later, after Luna had discussed not only the crumple-horned snorkack but also nargles and the Rotfang Conspiracy in some depth - she talked rather fast when no one could interrupt her - Harry finally felt his fingers start to twitch. In a few moments he could sit up even though his legs were still locked together.
"Oh, it's finally wearing off", Luna said in her usual, dreamy voice. Harry thought there was a twinge of regret in how she said it.
"Thanks for, uh, keeping me company, Luna. But maybe next time use a spell that you know how to undo?"
Luna nodded, "Okay, Harry."
When he could stand, Harry stood up and stretched his stiff muscles. He walked around the circle, glancing at the runes and wishing he knew what they said.
"I suppose I could ask Hermione to take a look at this. She's taken two years of Ancient Runes."
He glanced at Luna who had picked up her wand and was watching him. He sighed and stepped out of the circle.
"Or you could just try casting something from the inside."
Luna's eyes lit up and she raised her wand, "Titillando!"
Harry watched as ghostly purple hands appeared in the air and streaked toward him before vanishing when they reached the edge of the circle.
He let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, "Well, that answers that question."
Luna looked a little put out, but she was obviously trying to hide it. She lifted herself up from the ground in a single, ethereal movement and took a few steps closer.
"Well, it's been fun spending time with you, Harry. Can I be part of your club when you start it?"
"Sure, Luna. You're welcome to join. But I'm not sure when we'll get it started."
"The sooner the better. Professor Umbridge isn't going to like it when she finds out, so the sooner we start the better."
"So we can learn something before she finds out?"
Luna shook her head and smiled, looking off into space, "No, so we can annoy her as much as possible."
Harry walked Luna back to the nearby Ravenclaw tower and then headed back toward Gryffindor common room at the other end of the castle. He was lost in his thoughts as he made his way down two floors, took a secret passage, and then headed back upstairs. Planning for the defense club was interrupted when he rounded the last corner and saw Umbridge arguing with the fat lady that guarded the entrance to Gryffindor tower.
"Let me in! I am a Hogwarts professor and you are nothing but a painting!" Umbridge shrieked just as Harry caught sight of her.
The fat lady sniffed disdainfully, "That doesn't mean much to me. Only the headmaster or the head of house can enter without the password. You'll have to wait."
Umbridge turned away, fuming, and caught sight of Harry before he could duck back around the corner.
"Potter!" Her voice was triumphant and she hurried toward him. Harry idly wondered if she would have hopped if he was farther away. He glanced back at the corridor behind him and decided he couldn't disappear before she caught up to him, so he started strolling toward the portrait entrance.
"Hello, Professor Umbridge. Are you trying to get into Gryffindor tower?"
Her eyes blazed, "I'm looking for you, Potter! You're late for tonight's detention and I thought it might have slipped your mind. But not to worry, we can go directly to my office now and get on with it."
She got uncomfortably close and Harry almost fell over as he had to suddenly turn a step forward into an odd little shuffle backwards to avoid running into the woman.
"Oh, that", Harry shrugged, "I won't be attending. Feel free to assign more detentions if you don't like it."
She stared at him, eyes bugging out, gasping for breath. Harry started to wonder if she needed to go to the hospital wing.
Umbridge finally found her voice, "One hundred points from Gryffindor!"
Her face twisted into a sadistic smile, but it fell when he started laughing.
"Oh,we're probably out of points completely now. I'll have to break it to everyone that there's no way we're getting the house cup at this point. Now can I go?"
Umbridge stared at him for a moment and then made a sound that was something like a bubbling growl and grabbed for his arm. Harry's seeker reflexes snapped in and he jerked his arm out of the way and took a step away from Umbridge.
"You will come with me. You will serve your detentions. Or you will be expelled from Hogwarts!" Her voice rose with each word until she was screaming at him, spittle flying through the air. Harry blinked at her, nonplussed. He had been shouted at by Vernon Dursley, and compared to him Umbridge wasn't very threatening.
"Oh, will I? Feel free to take it up with the headmaster I suppose. Until then-" Harry slipped around her, avoiding another grasping hand, and made it to the portrait of the fat lady. She started after him but Harry was faster than the toad-like Umbridge. He murmured the password just loud enough for the portrait to hear him and then slipped through and turned, closing the portrait in Umbridge's face with a cheery "Goodnight!".
He could hear Umbridge shouting at the fat lady again from the other side, but the thick canvas muffled the sound just enough to ignore it. He turned to the common room to see the whole of Gryffindor staring at him. He gave a half-smile and shrugged.
"I guess she doesn't know the password."
In a moment he was surrounded. Ron was clapping him on the back and crying with laughter. Hermione clung to his arm and was whispering questions about where he had been. Ginny was clinging to his other arm and glaring at Hermione in between looking adoringly at him. Seamus and Dean were doubled over in their chairs near the fire, trying to breathe in between loud bursts of laughter. Even Neville was caught in a giggling fit that had knocked him out of his chair. Fred and George were making a circuit of the common room, collecting money and taking new bets for the next day's detention. They kept catching Harry's eye and flashing him thumbs up.
Harry managed to shake off Ginny and Hermione and wade through the throng of Gryffindors to flop down into an armchair in front of the fire. His friends settled back into their places around him and gradually the common room settled back into quiet as everyone got back to their homework. Occasionally a bout of giggles would break out again, but it was quickly shushed.
"So did you find what you were looking for?" Hermione prodded him.
Harry nodded, "Yeah, I think I found just the spot. Now we just need to figure out who to invite. Well, who else to invite."
Hermione shuffled through her bag and pulled out a piece of parchment with a list of names on it, "I went ahead and drew up a list of people I think might be interested. It's mostly Gryffindors, of course, but there are some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. I doubt any of the Slytherins would want to spend any time learning from you - no offense, Harry."
Harry took the list from her and looked over it, nodding, "Add Luna Lovegood to the list and I think we'll be fine. We can start talking to them to see if they're interested."
At the mention of Luna, Hermione paled for a moment. But she nodded and took the list back, adding the girl's name to the bottom.
Harry turned to where Neville was working on his potions homework, "What about you, Nev? Want to join us to learn some actual defense spells?"
Neville looked nervous, but nodded, "Yeah, Harry. I think it's about time we actually learn something. That Umbridge woman isn't as bad as Snape, but at least I kind of learn something in his classes."
"Good for you, Neville", Ron slapped him on the back, "Plus that way next time Malfoy mouths off you can curse the git."
Neville's eyes lit up for a moment, before he sat back and shook his head, "No, I really shouldn't escalate things with him."
"What happened to the Neville that took on Crabbe and Goyle together? You just need to learn a few spells and get some confidence. I'm sure Harry will let you curse him a few times to get your nerve up."
Harry started to protest - more because of the hopeful look on Neville's face than anything, "We'll all have the chance to practice, Neville. Don't worry, I know you'll get it."
It took the rest of the week to get in contact with everyone on Hermione's list. Harry still refused to attend Umbridge's detentions and spent the time he was supposed to be in her lessons catching up on the huge amount of homework that was being assigned in all of their classes. He knew that without the extra period to study he would be falling behind already.
He had more dreams, too. They seemed to run together - a series of flashing images of Voldemort casting the Unforgivables one after another - but the dark stone hallway that led to the Department of Mysteries kept appearing in his sleep. Harry was trying not to let the anger and hatred that he felt throughout these dreams seep into his waking world, but he was struggling with keeping his temper by dinnertime on Friday.
As he, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny walked into the entrance hall on the way to dinner his self-control met its greatest threat yet.
A group of students was gathered around a spot on the wall near the doors to the great hall. They were murmuring and several outraged cries broke out as more students pushed toward the front of the group and finally saw what they were talking about. Harry craned his neck to see until Hermione made a frustrated sound and slipped into the group of students. It only took a moment before she was back, flushed with anger.
"High inquisitor! Who does she think she is?"
"What is it?" Ron was standing on his tip toes, trying to see over the heads of a group of third years.
Hermione huffed, "Educational decree twenty-three. Dolores Jane Umbridge has been made the 'high inquisitor' of Hogwarts."
Harry stared at her, dumbfounded, "What in the world is a high inquisitor?"
Hermione shook her head, "I don't know, but it doesn't sound good. I suppose she couldn't interfere enough as just a professor. Who knows what she can do now?"
Ron was squinting to read from this distance, "It says that the Ministry gets to review the teaching standards of Hogwarts professors. I'm guessing she just wants to bully the other teachers into doing things her way."
"I'd love to see her take on Snape or McGonagall", Harry muttered as he headed for the great hall, "I can't see either of them taking any trouble from her."
A dreamy look over Ron's face, "Do you think Snape might just hex her bits off? And then get sacked? It would be a dream come true."
Ginny made a face, "I'd really rather not think about Umbridge's bits, thank you."
Harry shook his head, "There's no way that we're that lucky. He'll probably just be extra awful to us once she starts in on him."
As they entered the hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table Harry spotted Umbridge at the head table. She was wearing robes of a lurid pink with a mauve cardigan that looked two or three sizes too small. The smile plastered across her face as she surveyed the students entering the hall was enough to bring up his temper, but the looks of worry on most of the other teachers' faces caught his attention.
As Hermione sat down across from him, Harry leaned in and whispered, "Let's get everyone together tomorrow. It's a Hogsmeade weekend, so we don't have to meet in the school."
Hermione nodded, "I thought we could ask everyone to meet at the Hog's Head. It's less likely that anyone will spot us there. Or that Umbridge will hear about it - just in case."
Harry nodded grimly and set to ignoring the triumphant looks that Umbridge kept sending his way from the head table.