Jacen dropped Tahiri off at her room so she could shower before dinner with
his family. After putting in a full day's work at Camp Hope, as the
refugees now called it, she was desperate to wash the sweat and grime off
of her tired body. As she dried herself off and slipped into clean
clothes, her mind began to ponder the recent changes in her life. Working
at the camp had given her a new purpose, a new direction to travel in life,
and she had Jacen to thank for that. She actually felt alive again, like
she had something to offer the universe and that she wanted what it had to
offer in return.
Smiling was becoming a rediscovered habit, especially when she was around E'marta. It may have seemed strange to someone else, but Tahiri rather admired the old woman. Her resolve and strength to keep on enjoying life despite its hardships were an example the young Jedi had determined to follow. The woman had lost nearly everyone she'd ever cared about and still maintained a positive outlook on life. Tahiri had also lost some of those close to her, had shared some of that grief with E'marta who was quick to give her heartfelt advice.
"There will be plenty of sorrow in this life, child," the old woman said. "You'll most likely lose many precious friends by the time you reach my age, but one thing I've learned is that when one goes away, he'll be replaced with another, often better than the first. You just need to make sure your eyes are open so you can recognize him when he shows up."
E'marta's words still resonated in Tahiri's mind days later and, as she brushed out her hair in front of the mirror, she wondered if Anakin's 'replacement'-so to speak-was closer than she realized. Jacen had been the first thing to pop into Tahiri's mind when E'marta had shared her words of wisdom. Even now, she found herself periodically slipping into silent contemplation about him, often while in his company. A few times he had asked what she was thinking about to which she quickly responded with something silly like "dinner". Then he would laugh, and she would have to force herself not to stare at him.
It was becoming a little unnerving how attracted she was to him. Once or twice she'd even had the wild urge to jump on him, throw him down on the ground, and press her lips and entire body firmly to his. It was almost a primal, animalistic stirring that she fought fiercely to tamp down. Her only explanation was that it was somehow connected to her Vong self-that set of traits belonging to Riina Kwaad, not Tahiri Veila. But even so, the thought of making such a bold move did have its appeal and had kept her company on several long, restless nights.
Tahiri laughed out loud at her own ridiculousness. 'Oh, to see the look on Jacen Solo's face if I ever dared!' she mused.
Instantly, the memory of her first kiss with Anakin flashed in her mind and the laughter ceased. A wet blanket of guilt wrapped around her heart and an uncomfortable lump lodged in her throat.
'How dare I think such thoughts!' she scolded herself. 'And about Anakin's brother no less! What is wrong with me? I love Anakin.'
'But he's gone,' a voice whispered in her mind. 'He's gone and you're still here-alive-so live.'
She frowned. This debate was getting old, and she was tiring of the confusion it left behind. So instead of continuing the argument, she finished her hair and headed for dinner with the Solos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's really amazing the change in her," Jacen explained while helping his mother set the table. His sister, Jaina, listened in from the kitchen as he continued to describe the progress of his latest 'project'. "At first she was really quiet and kept to herself at the camp, but now she knows everyone there and has developed quite a friendship with one of the invalids, a real sweet old lady. I'm sure you'll be able to see the difference tonight at dinner."
Leia paused and smiled warmly at her son who now towered over her. He had always had such a compassionate nature, something she had feared the Vong would force out of him, only now after all he'd been through she was certain his concern for others was even stronger than ever.
"I'm sure we will, honey. You've been good for Tahiri. When you're going through something so tragic as the loss of a loved one, it's important not to cut yourself off from the people who care about you."
"Yeah, kid. Listen to your mother. She knows what she's talking about," Han interjected from his comfy seat in the other room.
Leia rolled her eyes. "Well, it would have been nice if you would have listened to that bit of advice a few years ago-darling."
Jacen waited for his father's response wondering if he would snap back. Even Jaina had stepped out of the kitchen in expectation of the certain fireworks, but they were all mistaken because Han simply acted like he hadn't even heard Leia's last comment. 'Perhaps he is finally learning after all of these years,' Leia thought with a chuckle.
Her attention returned to Jacen. "Well, I'm proud of you, dear, for taking the time to befriend Tahiri. Anakin would have appreciated it." She placed a small hand on his cheek and gazed at him with motherly admiration.
"Thanks, Mom. It's the least I could do after all Anakin did for me and after all Tahiri's been through. She's really a neat kid."
At this, Jaina stuck her head out of the kitchen again and snorted causing Jacen and Leia to stare at her.
"Kid?" Jaina exclaimed. "She's not exactly a kid, Jacen-or hadn't you noticed?" She delighted in the blush that creeped across his face.
Jacen suddenly felt uncomfortable as he silently answered Jaina's question in his mind. Sure he had noticed that Tahiri wasn't a child anymore, but it made it so much less complicated if he could think of her that way. Far too frequently, he was catching himself watching her, admiring her beautiful smile, her twinkling eyes, her pleasing figure. He felt his face heat up even more and knew with just a glance that Jaina had him figured out. What had started out as a friendly overture was somehow turning into something more-something he hadn't quite expected.
He was seriously attracted to Tahiri Veila.
And that was a problem-one he wasn't ready to deal with just yet-one, which for tonight, he would choose to ignore.
Who said he never learned anything valuable from his father?
"Yeah, well, I, uh, didn't mean that she was a little kid, but you know.," he stammered. Jaina crossed her arms and cocked a single eyebrow not buying his pathetic answer and ready to fire another interesting question his way when the door buzzer sounded. A look of total relief spread across Jacen's face and Jaina frowned.
"Saved by the bell," he murmured and then took off to answer the sound.
'Later, brother dear,' Jaina sent him through the Force determined to get the information she wanted. For now she'd have to wait.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Han Solo wasn't a genius.
At least not by the usual standards, but it didn't take a genius to see what was right in front of his face. He just wondered if anyone else saw it. Leia was busy worrying about dinner, Luke and Mara were fussing over Ben, and all of Jaina's attention was solely on the dashing young Colonel Fel. Perhaps, Han thought, I'm the only one who's noticing the sparks between Jacen and Tahiri. They obviously didn't realize it themselves.
All evening long the two had tossed coversation back and forth easily between them like they'd been best friends all their lives. Jacen enjoyed the playful teasing from Tahiri and offered it back in stride. Their eyes twinkled as they shared stories of time spent with the refugees and private jokes only they two could understand. It was the most he'd heard Tahiri talk in years and biggest smile he'd ever seen on his son's face. While he'd never imagined these two would be compatible, seeing them together in action left Han with no doubt.
Jacen was crazy about Tahiri and didn't even know it.
It was time for a father-son talk.
"That was an excellent meal, Leia," Tahiri exclaimed, smiling brightly as she rose to help clear the table.
"Thank you, Tahiri. I'm learning. You know the life of a diplomat doesn't usually leave much time for cooking, but the older I get the more I appreciate the little things in life."
The young Jedi followed Leia and Jaina into the kitchen, their arms full of dishes, and Han decided to take advantage of the opportunity.
"Hey, Jacen, want to join your old man out on the balcony?"
The strange look on his father's face told him that this was probably not something to miss, so he pushed back from his chair and followed Han outside leaving Jag with the Skywalkers.
Han strolled casually to the balcony railing and leaned on his elbows staring out into the humid Mon Calamari night. The scent of saltwater wafted under his nose and he breathed in deeply trying to gain the confidence he needed. Having these parent-child chats was something he'd never quite gotten the hang of, especially with Jacen. It seemed they had always been slightly at odds with one another.
Jacen joined him in staring out to sea waiting patiently for his father to speak.
"So, things are going well at the camp?" Han finally asked.
"Yeah, yeah they are. Thanks for asking," Jacen replied appreciatively.
"Good, good," Han added before pausing awkwardly again. "And Tahiri seems to be doing better, talking more, smiling more."
"Yeah, I think so, too. She's really a neat--kid once you get to know her. I can see why Anakin liked her so much."
Han had to keep from rolling his eyes when Jacen used the word 'kid' again. It was the same phrase he had used before dinner and seemed to be a practiced line, probably one he'd concocted to delude himself. Han had been there before, thinking that because a female was younger meant she wasn't mature enough for the likes of him.
And now he was married to her.
"Well, it's great of you to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. With no other family she could have easily gotten lost in the cracks. Lucky for her you were around. She should be grateful."
Han hoped his plan would work.
Jacen gazed at his father in disbelief not sure how to take Han's words. "She doesn't have to thank me. I wanted to help her. It's the least she deserves. In fact, it's been my pleasure to spend time with her. Tahiri's a great friend-a super.kid."
Han couldn't stifle a little chuckle, which garnered another confused expression from Jacen. "Kid?" Han restated. "Son, Tahiri may have been a kid a few years ago, but she's not one now-or hadn't you noticed?"
Jacen's back stiffened and a frown furrowed his brows. "Are you and Jaina in cahoots or something? I seem to remember her asking that same question earlier tonight."
Han raised an eyebrow. "And I seem to remember your same avoidance of the answer."
The retort stopped cold on Jacen's lips as he realized there would be no buzzer to save him this time. Han continued to stare him down-for his own good, of course, and because he secretly enjoyed watching his son squirm just a little.
"Is the question that hard, Jacen?" Han teased good naturedly.
Jacen tried to stare back but finally his shoulders sagged in defeat.
"No, it's not that hard of a question," he admitted. "I just-I just don't know if I'm ready to answer it yet." His head dropped and he stared down at his feet.
"Fair enough," Han said easing up on the boy. "I think I understand how you're feeling."
Jacen snorted. "Oh, yeah?"
Han gave him a stern fatherly glare and said, "Oh, yeah."
"Mind filling me in then? My brain hurts from thinking about it."
"All right," Han replied slapping Jacen on the back and then heading for a lounge chair. "Sit down." Jacen sat down across from his father and felt like he was ten again.
"You miss your brother."
"Um, yeah, of course," Jacen agreed.
"Tahiri was important to your brother so you felt an obligation to help her out. Right?"
"Okay."
"The problem is that you didn't intend for it to go quite so well. Now you find you kind of like her for more than a friend, but you feel guilty about it.like you're betraying your brother somehow. Is that it?"
Jacen stared wide-eyed with mouth agape at Han, who upon Jacen's stunned silent response was certain he'd hit the nail on the head.
"How did you--?" Jacen stammered.
"Hey, I may not be as smart as your mother, but I've been from one end of the universe to the other. I've seen a lot of things, experienced a lot of things. Your old man's not totally oblivious to what's going on around him, you know." Han leaned back, his hands behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles looking every bit a scoundrel and a rogue.
Jacen smiled and shook his head. "You do manage to surprise me from time to time," he added teasingly. Soon the smile was gone replaced by a more serious expression. "I just don't know what to do. I started out thinking I was going to be this wonderful 'mentor' for her, someone to guide her out of her depression over Anakin. Only somewhere along the line, she's become more than just a 'mission' to me.more than just a friend, only I'm not exactly sure what. But you're right. I feel guilty for having these feelings about her."
Jacen paused and scooted his chair closer to Han's. He leaned in close and lowered his voice before continuing. "Can I tell you something private that I've never told anyone else?"
Han perked up and sat up straighter in his chair. "Sure, kid." He wasn't usually the one his children shared secrets with, so this was a big deal.
Jacen took a deep breath and then looked around to make sure no one else was nearby. "On Myrkr with the strike team, Anakin told me something that I've never told anyone else. Not because I was trying to hide it. Actually, I had just forgotten about it until several weeks ago. Right before he died," Jacen paused to recover from the emotional crack in his voice, "he told me to kiss her for him . to 'take' Tahiri."
Jacen stopped and waited for Han's reply. The older Solo merely stared at his son, nodding his head slightly and pursing his lips together in contemplation. After several moments, Jacen grew impatient. "Dad? Do you have anything to say?"
"Yeah.yeah," Han said slowly. "So, what you're telling me is that Anakin gave you his girlfriend?"
"Dad! It sounds so creepy when you put it that way." Jacen paused before adding, "Do you think that's really what he meant? I've been going crazy trying to figure out if he intended me to give her a goodbye kiss for him and just see that she's taken care of, or if.if he really hoped--- you know. What do you think?" He suddenly felt very uncomfortable sitting there in the darkness of the balcony bearing his soul to his father, whom he'd never been very close to.
Time changes everything, he thought to himself.
Han studied his son's shadowed profile gazing up at the Mon Calamari night sky filled with millions of twinkling stars. How easy life had been years ago, before the Empire, before the Vong, before kids. He chuckled softly to himself not wanting Jacen to think he was taking this problem lightly. Anakin's death had dealt them all a heavy blow.
"Well, Jacen, seems to me you've got a few different options."
Jacen glanced back at his father waiting expectantly for the advice.
Han explained. "You could tell her how you feel and see how she responds. Or you could just keep going on like you have been, not saying anything to Tahiri and ignoring your feelings, playing it safe."
"What's the third option?" Jacen questioned.
Han grinned that Solo grin and said, "Or you could kidnap her, take her to some savage, god-forsaken planet and make her marry you."
It only took a second for Jacen to know exactly what his dad was referring to and he couldn't keep from laughing out loud. "I don't think I have that much nerve," he joked.
"Nah, you're not that stupid, Jacen," Han added playfully. "Anyway, the way I see it, it's either tell her now or tell her later. but you'll eventually have to tell her no matter what. These types of feelings never stay hidden for long. And even though she's not a kid anymore, she's still young, so be careful with her emotions. Females are a whole different breed, son."
After a few moments of quiet, the two men stood and looked each other in the eye.
"Thanks, Dad," Jacen finally said.
"No problem, kid. It's what I'm here for," Han replied offering Jacen a manly slap on the back. "Now let's go see what's for dessert. I'm kind of enjoying your mom's new interest in cooking, believe it or not."
Jacen chuckled. "I think I'll stay out here for a few more minutes.think about those options you shared with me. You know, number three is starting to sound better and better." He winked at his father and then returned to the balcony rail.
Closing his eyes, he let the cool evening sea breeze blow across his cheeks, tried to clear his mind and just enjoy the feel of the night all around him. As the Force began to flow through his body, he could feel his tensed muscles start to relax and a calm took over. Maybe things weren't as crazy as they seemed. Maybe he was making more of Anakin's words than his brother had intended. Maybe his feelings for Tahiri weren't anything more than friendship after all and he was simply reading too much into the time they had shared together.
On the other hand, maybe his feelings for Tahiri were genuine and growing stronger with each passing day. Already the thought of spending a day without seeing her filled him with an unexplainable anxiety.
Suddenly, a devastating thought sprung into his mind. Even if his feelings were real and he told her about them, what if she didn't feel the same? The calm instantly fled leaving Jacen with more anxiety than ever.
"Jacen?"
Smiling was becoming a rediscovered habit, especially when she was around E'marta. It may have seemed strange to someone else, but Tahiri rather admired the old woman. Her resolve and strength to keep on enjoying life despite its hardships were an example the young Jedi had determined to follow. The woman had lost nearly everyone she'd ever cared about and still maintained a positive outlook on life. Tahiri had also lost some of those close to her, had shared some of that grief with E'marta who was quick to give her heartfelt advice.
"There will be plenty of sorrow in this life, child," the old woman said. "You'll most likely lose many precious friends by the time you reach my age, but one thing I've learned is that when one goes away, he'll be replaced with another, often better than the first. You just need to make sure your eyes are open so you can recognize him when he shows up."
E'marta's words still resonated in Tahiri's mind days later and, as she brushed out her hair in front of the mirror, she wondered if Anakin's 'replacement'-so to speak-was closer than she realized. Jacen had been the first thing to pop into Tahiri's mind when E'marta had shared her words of wisdom. Even now, she found herself periodically slipping into silent contemplation about him, often while in his company. A few times he had asked what she was thinking about to which she quickly responded with something silly like "dinner". Then he would laugh, and she would have to force herself not to stare at him.
It was becoming a little unnerving how attracted she was to him. Once or twice she'd even had the wild urge to jump on him, throw him down on the ground, and press her lips and entire body firmly to his. It was almost a primal, animalistic stirring that she fought fiercely to tamp down. Her only explanation was that it was somehow connected to her Vong self-that set of traits belonging to Riina Kwaad, not Tahiri Veila. But even so, the thought of making such a bold move did have its appeal and had kept her company on several long, restless nights.
Tahiri laughed out loud at her own ridiculousness. 'Oh, to see the look on Jacen Solo's face if I ever dared!' she mused.
Instantly, the memory of her first kiss with Anakin flashed in her mind and the laughter ceased. A wet blanket of guilt wrapped around her heart and an uncomfortable lump lodged in her throat.
'How dare I think such thoughts!' she scolded herself. 'And about Anakin's brother no less! What is wrong with me? I love Anakin.'
'But he's gone,' a voice whispered in her mind. 'He's gone and you're still here-alive-so live.'
She frowned. This debate was getting old, and she was tiring of the confusion it left behind. So instead of continuing the argument, she finished her hair and headed for dinner with the Solos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's really amazing the change in her," Jacen explained while helping his mother set the table. His sister, Jaina, listened in from the kitchen as he continued to describe the progress of his latest 'project'. "At first she was really quiet and kept to herself at the camp, but now she knows everyone there and has developed quite a friendship with one of the invalids, a real sweet old lady. I'm sure you'll be able to see the difference tonight at dinner."
Leia paused and smiled warmly at her son who now towered over her. He had always had such a compassionate nature, something she had feared the Vong would force out of him, only now after all he'd been through she was certain his concern for others was even stronger than ever.
"I'm sure we will, honey. You've been good for Tahiri. When you're going through something so tragic as the loss of a loved one, it's important not to cut yourself off from the people who care about you."
"Yeah, kid. Listen to your mother. She knows what she's talking about," Han interjected from his comfy seat in the other room.
Leia rolled her eyes. "Well, it would have been nice if you would have listened to that bit of advice a few years ago-darling."
Jacen waited for his father's response wondering if he would snap back. Even Jaina had stepped out of the kitchen in expectation of the certain fireworks, but they were all mistaken because Han simply acted like he hadn't even heard Leia's last comment. 'Perhaps he is finally learning after all of these years,' Leia thought with a chuckle.
Her attention returned to Jacen. "Well, I'm proud of you, dear, for taking the time to befriend Tahiri. Anakin would have appreciated it." She placed a small hand on his cheek and gazed at him with motherly admiration.
"Thanks, Mom. It's the least I could do after all Anakin did for me and after all Tahiri's been through. She's really a neat kid."
At this, Jaina stuck her head out of the kitchen again and snorted causing Jacen and Leia to stare at her.
"Kid?" Jaina exclaimed. "She's not exactly a kid, Jacen-or hadn't you noticed?" She delighted in the blush that creeped across his face.
Jacen suddenly felt uncomfortable as he silently answered Jaina's question in his mind. Sure he had noticed that Tahiri wasn't a child anymore, but it made it so much less complicated if he could think of her that way. Far too frequently, he was catching himself watching her, admiring her beautiful smile, her twinkling eyes, her pleasing figure. He felt his face heat up even more and knew with just a glance that Jaina had him figured out. What had started out as a friendly overture was somehow turning into something more-something he hadn't quite expected.
He was seriously attracted to Tahiri Veila.
And that was a problem-one he wasn't ready to deal with just yet-one, which for tonight, he would choose to ignore.
Who said he never learned anything valuable from his father?
"Yeah, well, I, uh, didn't mean that she was a little kid, but you know.," he stammered. Jaina crossed her arms and cocked a single eyebrow not buying his pathetic answer and ready to fire another interesting question his way when the door buzzer sounded. A look of total relief spread across Jacen's face and Jaina frowned.
"Saved by the bell," he murmured and then took off to answer the sound.
'Later, brother dear,' Jaina sent him through the Force determined to get the information she wanted. For now she'd have to wait.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Han Solo wasn't a genius.
At least not by the usual standards, but it didn't take a genius to see what was right in front of his face. He just wondered if anyone else saw it. Leia was busy worrying about dinner, Luke and Mara were fussing over Ben, and all of Jaina's attention was solely on the dashing young Colonel Fel. Perhaps, Han thought, I'm the only one who's noticing the sparks between Jacen and Tahiri. They obviously didn't realize it themselves.
All evening long the two had tossed coversation back and forth easily between them like they'd been best friends all their lives. Jacen enjoyed the playful teasing from Tahiri and offered it back in stride. Their eyes twinkled as they shared stories of time spent with the refugees and private jokes only they two could understand. It was the most he'd heard Tahiri talk in years and biggest smile he'd ever seen on his son's face. While he'd never imagined these two would be compatible, seeing them together in action left Han with no doubt.
Jacen was crazy about Tahiri and didn't even know it.
It was time for a father-son talk.
"That was an excellent meal, Leia," Tahiri exclaimed, smiling brightly as she rose to help clear the table.
"Thank you, Tahiri. I'm learning. You know the life of a diplomat doesn't usually leave much time for cooking, but the older I get the more I appreciate the little things in life."
The young Jedi followed Leia and Jaina into the kitchen, their arms full of dishes, and Han decided to take advantage of the opportunity.
"Hey, Jacen, want to join your old man out on the balcony?"
The strange look on his father's face told him that this was probably not something to miss, so he pushed back from his chair and followed Han outside leaving Jag with the Skywalkers.
Han strolled casually to the balcony railing and leaned on his elbows staring out into the humid Mon Calamari night. The scent of saltwater wafted under his nose and he breathed in deeply trying to gain the confidence he needed. Having these parent-child chats was something he'd never quite gotten the hang of, especially with Jacen. It seemed they had always been slightly at odds with one another.
Jacen joined him in staring out to sea waiting patiently for his father to speak.
"So, things are going well at the camp?" Han finally asked.
"Yeah, yeah they are. Thanks for asking," Jacen replied appreciatively.
"Good, good," Han added before pausing awkwardly again. "And Tahiri seems to be doing better, talking more, smiling more."
"Yeah, I think so, too. She's really a neat--kid once you get to know her. I can see why Anakin liked her so much."
Han had to keep from rolling his eyes when Jacen used the word 'kid' again. It was the same phrase he had used before dinner and seemed to be a practiced line, probably one he'd concocted to delude himself. Han had been there before, thinking that because a female was younger meant she wasn't mature enough for the likes of him.
And now he was married to her.
"Well, it's great of you to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. With no other family she could have easily gotten lost in the cracks. Lucky for her you were around. She should be grateful."
Han hoped his plan would work.
Jacen gazed at his father in disbelief not sure how to take Han's words. "She doesn't have to thank me. I wanted to help her. It's the least she deserves. In fact, it's been my pleasure to spend time with her. Tahiri's a great friend-a super.kid."
Han couldn't stifle a little chuckle, which garnered another confused expression from Jacen. "Kid?" Han restated. "Son, Tahiri may have been a kid a few years ago, but she's not one now-or hadn't you noticed?"
Jacen's back stiffened and a frown furrowed his brows. "Are you and Jaina in cahoots or something? I seem to remember her asking that same question earlier tonight."
Han raised an eyebrow. "And I seem to remember your same avoidance of the answer."
The retort stopped cold on Jacen's lips as he realized there would be no buzzer to save him this time. Han continued to stare him down-for his own good, of course, and because he secretly enjoyed watching his son squirm just a little.
"Is the question that hard, Jacen?" Han teased good naturedly.
Jacen tried to stare back but finally his shoulders sagged in defeat.
"No, it's not that hard of a question," he admitted. "I just-I just don't know if I'm ready to answer it yet." His head dropped and he stared down at his feet.
"Fair enough," Han said easing up on the boy. "I think I understand how you're feeling."
Jacen snorted. "Oh, yeah?"
Han gave him a stern fatherly glare and said, "Oh, yeah."
"Mind filling me in then? My brain hurts from thinking about it."
"All right," Han replied slapping Jacen on the back and then heading for a lounge chair. "Sit down." Jacen sat down across from his father and felt like he was ten again.
"You miss your brother."
"Um, yeah, of course," Jacen agreed.
"Tahiri was important to your brother so you felt an obligation to help her out. Right?"
"Okay."
"The problem is that you didn't intend for it to go quite so well. Now you find you kind of like her for more than a friend, but you feel guilty about it.like you're betraying your brother somehow. Is that it?"
Jacen stared wide-eyed with mouth agape at Han, who upon Jacen's stunned silent response was certain he'd hit the nail on the head.
"How did you--?" Jacen stammered.
"Hey, I may not be as smart as your mother, but I've been from one end of the universe to the other. I've seen a lot of things, experienced a lot of things. Your old man's not totally oblivious to what's going on around him, you know." Han leaned back, his hands behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles looking every bit a scoundrel and a rogue.
Jacen smiled and shook his head. "You do manage to surprise me from time to time," he added teasingly. Soon the smile was gone replaced by a more serious expression. "I just don't know what to do. I started out thinking I was going to be this wonderful 'mentor' for her, someone to guide her out of her depression over Anakin. Only somewhere along the line, she's become more than just a 'mission' to me.more than just a friend, only I'm not exactly sure what. But you're right. I feel guilty for having these feelings about her."
Jacen paused and scooted his chair closer to Han's. He leaned in close and lowered his voice before continuing. "Can I tell you something private that I've never told anyone else?"
Han perked up and sat up straighter in his chair. "Sure, kid." He wasn't usually the one his children shared secrets with, so this was a big deal.
Jacen took a deep breath and then looked around to make sure no one else was nearby. "On Myrkr with the strike team, Anakin told me something that I've never told anyone else. Not because I was trying to hide it. Actually, I had just forgotten about it until several weeks ago. Right before he died," Jacen paused to recover from the emotional crack in his voice, "he told me to kiss her for him . to 'take' Tahiri."
Jacen stopped and waited for Han's reply. The older Solo merely stared at his son, nodding his head slightly and pursing his lips together in contemplation. After several moments, Jacen grew impatient. "Dad? Do you have anything to say?"
"Yeah.yeah," Han said slowly. "So, what you're telling me is that Anakin gave you his girlfriend?"
"Dad! It sounds so creepy when you put it that way." Jacen paused before adding, "Do you think that's really what he meant? I've been going crazy trying to figure out if he intended me to give her a goodbye kiss for him and just see that she's taken care of, or if.if he really hoped--- you know. What do you think?" He suddenly felt very uncomfortable sitting there in the darkness of the balcony bearing his soul to his father, whom he'd never been very close to.
Time changes everything, he thought to himself.
Han studied his son's shadowed profile gazing up at the Mon Calamari night sky filled with millions of twinkling stars. How easy life had been years ago, before the Empire, before the Vong, before kids. He chuckled softly to himself not wanting Jacen to think he was taking this problem lightly. Anakin's death had dealt them all a heavy blow.
"Well, Jacen, seems to me you've got a few different options."
Jacen glanced back at his father waiting expectantly for the advice.
Han explained. "You could tell her how you feel and see how she responds. Or you could just keep going on like you have been, not saying anything to Tahiri and ignoring your feelings, playing it safe."
"What's the third option?" Jacen questioned.
Han grinned that Solo grin and said, "Or you could kidnap her, take her to some savage, god-forsaken planet and make her marry you."
It only took a second for Jacen to know exactly what his dad was referring to and he couldn't keep from laughing out loud. "I don't think I have that much nerve," he joked.
"Nah, you're not that stupid, Jacen," Han added playfully. "Anyway, the way I see it, it's either tell her now or tell her later. but you'll eventually have to tell her no matter what. These types of feelings never stay hidden for long. And even though she's not a kid anymore, she's still young, so be careful with her emotions. Females are a whole different breed, son."
After a few moments of quiet, the two men stood and looked each other in the eye.
"Thanks, Dad," Jacen finally said.
"No problem, kid. It's what I'm here for," Han replied offering Jacen a manly slap on the back. "Now let's go see what's for dessert. I'm kind of enjoying your mom's new interest in cooking, believe it or not."
Jacen chuckled. "I think I'll stay out here for a few more minutes.think about those options you shared with me. You know, number three is starting to sound better and better." He winked at his father and then returned to the balcony rail.
Closing his eyes, he let the cool evening sea breeze blow across his cheeks, tried to clear his mind and just enjoy the feel of the night all around him. As the Force began to flow through his body, he could feel his tensed muscles start to relax and a calm took over. Maybe things weren't as crazy as they seemed. Maybe he was making more of Anakin's words than his brother had intended. Maybe his feelings for Tahiri weren't anything more than friendship after all and he was simply reading too much into the time they had shared together.
On the other hand, maybe his feelings for Tahiri were genuine and growing stronger with each passing day. Already the thought of spending a day without seeing her filled him with an unexplainable anxiety.
Suddenly, a devastating thought sprung into his mind. Even if his feelings were real and he told her about them, what if she didn't feel the same? The calm instantly fled leaving Jacen with more anxiety than ever.
"Jacen?"