You Get Me—Ch. 17
Jacen was right.
In no time at all, Tahiri was practically swimming laps around him. Of course, he had to tease her a bit first—pretend he had lost hold of her in the deep part, for example, just to hear her scream and hold on tight. He seemed to be enjoying it a little too much, and if she did not know any better, she would swear he was doing it just to have her jump back into his arms. But she refused to think about that possibility, so she tamped that blossom of hope back down deep inside where it couldn't cause her any trouble. For now, she just wanted to enjoy herself.
Tahiri got out of the water and walked over to where Jaina was sunning herself on a blanket. She plopped down right next to Jaina and sighed.
"This place is absolutely beautiful," she said wistfully, drinking in the splendor of her surroundings.
"It is, isn't it?" Jaina replied. "Jacen came here a couple of times with Danni Quee when he first got back."
Tahiri's heart nearly stopped and she glanced over inconspicuously to make sure Jaina's eyes were still closed. She did not want Jaina to know how surprised she was to find out Jacen had spent time with Danni.
Jaina continued without opening her eyes. "He was right. This is a very romantic spot." She chuckled to herself. "I wonder if he tried to make a move on Danni when they were here."
The despair was starting to mount. "A move? On Danni?" Tahiri said nervously, trying not to reveal her interest.
"Oh, yeah. Jace had a crush on her from the minute he rescued her from the Vong. She was all he talked about for about three months after, but he hasn't really talked about her for a while, though." Another giggle. "Maybe she rejected him again."
"Again?" Tahiri could not keep from asking more questions even though a piece of her seemed to break with each answer.
Jaina shielded her eyes with a hand and gazed over at her companion. "Back when they first met, he expressed his feelings for her. Of course, he was only sixteen to her twenty-one, so she gave him the whole 'let's-be- friends' speech. He acted like it was no big deal, but I know how upset he really was."
The knowledge that a woman as sophisticated, intelligent, and beautiful as Danni Quee could possibly be Tahiri's competition was a heavy blow to her already shoddy self-esteem. However, knowing that at least several years ago Danni had not returned Jacen's affections was a small, guilty relief. Surely Danni would want someone her own age. Wouldn't she?
"Now, Tenel Ka--- that's a whole different story," Jaina suddenly declared, sending Tahiri spiraling back into her pit of despair. "Jace's been crazy about her for so long—since we were kids back at the academy. He was always trying to get her to notice him, to laugh at all of his stupid jokes, but she always resisted, even though I know she liked him. In fact, during the mission to Myrkr, it seemed like they were finally going to get together, but then--- well, you know how that turned out," Jaina trailed off.
Tahiri pondered silently. She remembered Anakin mentioning Jacen's crush on the red-haired Hapan princess, even remembered seeing them together on Yavin 4 a few times. However, back then she had been so young herself, and too wrapped up in Anakin to really pay Jacen and his love life much mind.
"You know that old saying 'opposites attract'?" Jaina asked and Tahiri nodded. "Well, that's how it is for Jace and Tenel Ka. They're both so different, kind of like Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara. Maybe after all of this time, Jace and Tenel Ka are finally going to make a go of it. I hope so. He deserves a little happiness, don't you think?"
Tahiri could not speak, but forced a weak smile and nodded her head in agreement with Jaina. True, Jacen did deserve some happiness. But didn't she deserve some too?
She glanced out at the water where Jacen and Jag were engaged in a manly dunking competition and her heart constricted. 'I could make him happy,' she thought as the tears started to burn her eyes. She refused to let them fall.
'No, Tahiri,' she told herself. 'Don't hope--- don't hope, don't love, and you won't get hurt.'
Some time later, Jacen was hungry and needed a break. He and Jag had swum around while the girls sunbathed on the beach. More than once, Jag had caught him gazing over at Tahiri, but Fel never said a word. He grinned, chuckled, and even laughed out loud once, but thankfully he did not make any comments.
The two men left the water and sneaked over to the girls. Jag positioned himself so he would drip on the unsuspecting Jaina, and it worked. As soon as the cold drops splattered onto her back, she squealed and jumped to her feet ready for a fight.
"Jagged Fel! What do you think you're doing?!"
Jag put on his best innocent face and replied, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you wet?"
Jaina made a playful swing at his face, but he caught her arm and flung her over his shoulder. "Put me down right now before I—"she yelled.
"Before you what?" he taunted as he took long strides back toward the water. "I believe, Miss Solo, that you are the one who is at my mercy this time, and if you don't stop wiggling around, I might lose my grip and drop you in the water." He had waded out far enough so that the water came up to his thighs, and Jaina struggled to get loose.
"Fel, you let me go this instant!" she ordered.
Jacen and Tahiri saw the huge grin on his face when he glanced back at them over his shoulder. "Goddess, your wish is my command," he conceded, and then dropped her unceremoniously into the lake.
Tahiri and Jacen watched in amusement as Jaina and Jag continued to argue. It was not long before the two were in each other's arms drifting off to find a more private place to 'work out their differences'. A nervous flutter twisted inside Jacen. He was not sure if it was because he had just seen his sister kiss Jag, or if it was because he wished he was kissing someone himself. Immediately he glanced over at Tahiri who felt his gaze and turned to look at him. The expression on her face was not encouraging. She looked--- mad.
"You okay?" he asked, reaching out to touch her arm. She quickly jerked it away and lay back down on the blanket. "Guess that answers my question," he mumbled to himself. He would never understand women. A short while ago she had been cozy in his arms, flirting--- or so he had thought. Maybe he was just too much of a novice to realize when a girl was sending signals or not, because now she was acting cold, distant, and would not even grace him with a word.
Once upon a time, Han had told him that when a woman started acting all 'strange', it was best for any and all males to just keep quiet and steer clear. "Trust me, kid. If you don't listen to anything else I tell ya, listen to this," his father had said without a hint of his usual sarcasm. For once, Han Solo might have been right, so Jacen opted for eating his lunch in silence.
Besides, since Tahiri had her eyes closed, he could sneak a few peeks at her lying there basking in the Mon Calamari sunlight. Of course, part of him felt like some kind of degenerate for wanting to look at her, but he just couldn't help himself. Seeing Tahiri in this new light, as a desirable young woman whom he enjoyed being with, was still taking some getting used to. He had started to think she was feeling the same way about him.
Maybe not.
Jacen finished his sandwich in virtual silence, and then lay back to rest.
Tahiri tried again to calm her beating heart. She was a swirl of mixed emotions. She was angry that Jacen had flirted with her, made her like him when she didn't even want to. Then she felt guilty for letting herself care for him when she should have been faithful to Anakin's memory. But then, she was loathe to admit, she also felt jealous—jealous that Jacen had other women in his life and disappointed that she wasn't the only one.
'Fool!" she berated herself. How had she let herself fall so deeply in love with Jacen Solo, for surely that is what this crazy emotion was that had hold of her heart and would not let go. It was his fault--- all of it. He was the one who came back and practically forced himself into her life. She had not even wanted to talk to him, much less spend so much time in his company, but he had been incredibly persistent and completely irresistible.
Jacen Solo had killed her with kindness.
She needed a drink.
She sat up and found the cooler sitting on the other side of Jacen. He was lying on his back, one arm draped over his eyes, and she thought he must be asleep. Part of her wanted to reach out and just touch his tanned, muscled chest, the same one she had been pressed up against mere hours before, but she wouldn't let herself. Instead, she carefully reached over him and maneuvered to get a grip on the handle of the cooler.
"Got it!" she muttered. In a flash of movement, Jacen grabbed her wrist and had her flipped on her back before she knew what hit her. It took her a second to realize what had happened and that Jacen was straddled atop her, but as soon as she did she started struggling to get loose.
He would not budge.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Jacen asked, a serious look on his face.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Tahiri spat back in response, avoiding his eyes.
Jacen narrowed his gaze and studied her face. "Don't give me that," he demanded. "An hour ago we were having a great time, and now you're giving me the mother of all cold shoulders. What gives?"
"Nothing!" she answered, looking him defiantly in the eye now. "I'm not doing anything. Maybe you just have a guilty conscience."
"Guilty conscience?" Jacen repeated in confusion. "Now I don't know what you're talking about!"
His innocent act perturbed Tahiri, and she began struggling to get away again. "Let me go, Jacen!" One hand finally ripped loose from his grip and she landed a loud smack across his cheek, which took them both by surprise. Jacen was first to recover this time and grabbed her wrist before she could land another blow.
"Be still, Tahiri! Quit moving around!" he ordered. At that instant their eyes locked and Tahiri quit fighting him. The only sound was both of their labored breathing. Jacen's eyes focused first on hers and then wandered down to her mouth, her heaving chest and then back up. He felt himself leaning down closer to her, his lips desperately in need of hers.
"Tahiri," he whispered faintly, and then his mouth brushed over hers, but just barely. He opened his eyes and gazed again into her green depths expecting her to fight him, but happy when she did not. There was something in her eyes that he had noticed on a few other occasions and he recognized it for the same need that was burning in him. Underneath him, she had relaxed the tension in her body and melded to his, still silent.
Jacen knew that now was the time to tell her how he felt.
"There's something I need to—"
Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.
"Jaina? Jacen? Come in, you two. It's your mother."
Jacen froze at the sound of the comm. unit emitting his mother's voice. When he grudgingly moved to retrieve the device, Tahiri quickly jumped up and searched for her cover-up shirt.
"Yeah, Mom. What is it?" he asked, trying not to sound as irritated as he was.
"Jacen? Oh, good! I need you guys back here as soon as possible. The Hapan fleet just pulled out of hyperspace."
"Already?" Jacen said, his stomach doing a nervous flip at the thought of seeing Tenel Ka a day sooner than planned.
"Yes," Leia continued excitedly. "Tenel Ka must be quite anxious to see you, sweetie."
At that, Jacen shot a glance over at Tahiri who once again refused to meet his gaze. She was slipping on her shorts and turned away from him to hide the hurt that was surely written all over her face.
"Okay, Mom. We'll be home soon," he replied and then clicked off the comm. He wasn't sure what to say. Things were suddenly very awkward. "Guess you heard?" he offered lamely.
"Yeah," she said slipping on her sandals. "Sounds great."
"I'll—I'll just go get Jaina and Jag so we can go."
"Sure. And I'll just pack this stuff up," she said motioning to the blankets and other items scattered around. She waited until he was gone and then she allowed herself to cry.
But just a little.