You Get Me ---- chapter 22
Tahiri sighed and her shoulders slumped in defeat as she watched Jacen escorted from the dance floor by a very large and very frightening Hapan guard.
"The Queen requests your presence in her chambers at this time," the woman had said in her oddly low voice. Tahiri still had her doubts that these Hapan guards were really females and not men in drag.
Jacen's smile had instantly vanished, and Tahiri thought she had noticed a hint of annoyance flash in his dark eyes. But yet he had dropped his hands from around her waist leaving a patch of lonely and cold skin on her back and walked off leaving Tahiri alone.
Well, she wasn't too sure what she would do exactly, or why she had even had that particular violent urge. She decided to chalk it up to more of that wonderful Vong shaping and quickly removed herself from the midst of the dancing crowd.
"Jacen, it is good to see you."
Jacen smiled and admired the vision in front of him. The woman was surely one of the most beautiful in the galaxy with her red-gold tresses cascading gently over her shoulders and her slender, well-shaped legs protruding temptingly from the flowing dress she wore. The thin shimmering fabrics of her regal garment were a study in shades of lavender contrasting perfectly with her hair.
"You look absolutely amazing, Tenel Ka," he finally exclaimed. "It appears it's good to be the queen."
She nearly cracked a smile, but restrained herself, as usual. "It has its advantages, yes. Please, come and sit down." She motioned to a plush sofa, and they both moved to take a seat. All the while, the queen's two bodyguards, one of which was the fierce warrior he had noticed upon her arrival, observed the proceedings warily from the background. All men were suspect, in their opinion. Their presence made Jacen a little uncomfortable, but he understood the protocol. He just hoped he wouldn't have to decline Tenel Ka's offer of marriage in front of them. That might be a bit awkward for his old friend.
"Jaina told me what happened in Hapes with your grandmother," he began solemnly, trying to ignore the fact that he was being watched as if he were a criminal. "And I'm so sorry about your mother."
A brief flash of sorrow showed in Tenel Ka's eyes before she replied. "Thank you. Becoming queen was not a position I desired, as you know. However, it was necessary for me to accept for the good of my people."
"I understand completely," Jacen said. "Sometimes the paths we end up on are not the ones we originally intend to travel. I hope the Hapans realize how lucky they are to have you." With his last statement, he reached over and placed his hand on her arm, offering a sincere smile. Tenel Ka stared down at his strong hand for several seconds and then abruptly ordered her guards to go.
"Leave us," she commanded. The two muscular women hesitated to leave their post, so she repeated herself more firmly. "I said, leave us."
Jacen sensed their confusion and the anxiety emanating from his friend, and attempted to ease the tension. "I assure you ladies, she is safe with me. I know better than to try anything with your queen. She could easily kick my rear end from here to Hoth," he admitted with a Solo grin.
That seemed to do the trick because the two bowed curtly to their queen and hastily exited the chamber. When the door slid shut behind the two women, Tenel Ka heaved a sigh of relief and suddenly looked weary and worn.
"Much better," she declared. "I have no privacy anymore, Jacen. My life is not my own."
Jacen chuckled. "My mother would tell you that lack of privacy is a sign of growing up."
"That is a fact," she responded with a tiny smile. "But it does not mean I have to like it." She studied his face closely, noting the many differences since she had seen him last. "You have changed greatly, Jacen Solo."
He gazed thoughtfully back at her. "As have you," he countered.
"For so long I believed you were gone. All of us believed it was so, except, of course, for your mother. Tell me what happened to you."
He inhaled deeply and slapped his thighs. "All right. You want the short version or the long?" Leaning back into the sofa at her silent prod to share, he began with the last time he had seen Tenel Ka with the Myrkr strike team and unraveled the mystery of his disappearance, tempering his tale to spare her the gruesome details. She listened intently, several times appearing to almost lose her composure, but remained silent and unmoved. When he finished, she said nothing but reached out with her hand to briefly brush his cheek.
"So strong," she muttered softly gazing into his deep brown eyes.
"I don't know about that. There were many times I would have gladly welcomed death."
"And yet here you are, and with your silly sense of humor still in tact," she teased.
He smiled bashfully and looked away for a moment. "Some may think I should be more serious after all I've been through," he explained, "but I choose to focus on the good in life. I've seen way too much of the bad. My family and friends mean more to me now than ever before."
"And me?" she asked hopefully with a lift of her eyebrow.
Jacen flashed her a lopsided grin. "I think you know how I feel about you, Tenel Ka. You are a true friend," he paused, "and my first love."
She smiled widely then, a rare occurrence, and then straightened in her seat, bracing herself for what she was about to do. "I am glad to hear you say such things," she began, "for there is something I wish to speak to you about." Then she stood up and started pacing back and forth.
Jacen almost interrupted to tell her that he already knew, but he didn't get the chance.
"War is such an unstable time," she began hastily. "People are anxious about themselves and their world. It is important for leaders to be examples of stability in order to breed calm throughout their constituency." She halted to shoot him an awkward glance before returning to her carefully prepared speech.
"Many of my advisors feel that I can do a more effective job of fostering an image of stability if I make but a single change in my life."
Here she paused again, stopping right in front of Jacen who was listening to her every word, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "And this change would be...?" he coaxed, already knowing the answer.
"A husband," she stated plainly.
Jacen bit back a chuckle. This had to be killing her. "That's a simple change?" he asked, feigning innocence. She nodded, studying his response. Then he leaned back and spread his arms across the back of the sofa. "So, who's the lucky guy?" He couldn't help it. Part of him enjoyed seeing the queen of calm squirming in her shoes.
Tenel Ka took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before answering, "You."
"Me?" he said calmly.
"Yes, Jacen. If I must choose a companion, there is none other but you that I can think of to have."
Something about the way she worded her explanation sounded out of tune to him, as if it was rehearsed and only being spoken out of a sense of duty. He would have to answer very carefully. She was a special person to him and he didn't want to injure her feelings or her pride. Rising up to stand eye to eye with Tenel Ka, the Queen of the Hapes Cluster, Jacen realized how tightly tethered to duty she was and immediately felt overwhelmed with compassion.
"Tenel Ka," he said placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I am honored beyond measure."
Her face looked hopeful. "So you will accept my offer?"
Jacen smiled and took a deep breath. "You know there was a time I dreamed of this very thing happening. Of course, we weren't wearing as many clothes... Oh, those boyhood fantasies!" he snickered.
"You are making light of this," she said irritably.
"No, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Old habits are hard to break, I suppose." Then he became deadly serious. "Tenel Ka, do you want to marry me because you love me and can't live without me? Or is it simply one more item on your queen's 'to-do' list?" She looked away from him and he forced her to look at him again with a light touch of his fingers under her chin. "I will always love you, but I think you know that I cannot marry you." Her face instantly fell and he nudged it up again. "Our lives have diverged into two totally different paths. Yours has taken you to Hapes while mine," he paused and dropped his hand. "Well, I'm not entirely sure where mine is taking me yet, but I do know that it is not meant for us to be husband and wife. Surely you know this, as well, deep down."
She nodded slightly and whispered, "That is a fact."
"I don't want to hurt you," he continued, his own heart breaking at having to break another's. "You are and always will be a very special person to me, Tenel Ka. Always." Another little smile curved her lips, and he tenderly caressed the side of her face. "Have faith. When you are truly ready, you will find whom you are meant to be with, and when you do, you won't have to force yourself to be with him out of a sense of duty to your people. It will be because you have found real love."
Tenel Ka studied his face intently. "Your journey has taught you much, Jacen Solo. Wisdom suits you," she remarked.
He snorted. "I wish I could practice what I preach," he remarked.
Tenel Ka raised an eyebrow in observation. "There is someone else," she stated, not asked.
At first he was surprised she had read him so easily, but then she was always able to cut through the fluff and get to the heart of a matter. He simply nodded and said, "Yes, there is."
Tenel Ka inhaled deeply and laid her hand on his chest. "Then she is very lucky."
Jacen stepped closer to her, the woman who had been his childhood crush, and lightly pressed his lips to hers. It was the kiss of a friend, the kiss of something that might have been more had life not thrust them onto different paths with different responsibilities. In just a moment, Jacen pulled away, gazing into her emerald eyes.
"It was good to see you, Tenel Ka."
"Be well," she said, gifting him with one of her rare smiles, "and may the Force be with you."
"And with you," he replied, quickly giving her hand a warm squeeze. Then he turned to leave without looking back. Regrets would do him no good, so he refused to entertain them. The two guards were right outside the door and immediately slipped back into the room upon his departure.
He doubted his friend was too disappointed at his refusal of her proposal. She would soon realize it was the right decision. For now he had other responsibilities to tend to. He wanted to continue learning and teaching about the new Force revelations his experience with the Vong had given him. He wanted to spend more time with his family and friends, especially Tahiri. With her, he wanted much more...he needed much more.
His feet picked up the pace as he moved down the corridors eager to get back to Tahiri.
It was time.