You Get Me --- Chapter 23
Tahiri wondered how long Jacen had been gone. It could not have been more than twenty minutes or so, but it felt like an eternity. Thankfully, she spotted Tekli, a fellow Jedi who had tended Tahiri after their flight from the disaster on Myrkr, and was able to pass some of the time in friendly conversation. All too soon, however, Tekli had begged her leave, and Tahiri was once again alone.
Standing there watching the mass of people enjoying the food, dancing and hum of the throng, Tahiri realized how accustomed to Jacen's presence she had become over the past weeks. His companionship had wiggled its way past her defenses and inconspicuously settled itself into her life, so much so that being without him left her somewhat at a loss...like a piece of her was missing.
Now, Jacen was gone, in a private meeting with Tenel Ka, a woman he had loved since childhood, and Tahiri felt a pang of something dark and unfamiliar.
Jealousy.
She was jealous that Jacen was with Tenel Ka and not her. It was not a pleasant feeling, and Tahiri knew she must purge it from her system soon. She needed a distraction.
Surveying the huge reception hall, she finally found a familiar face. Jaina Solo was deep in a discussion with Jag Fel and Kyp Durron, the two men flanking her, as usual, one on each side. Although they both towered over Jaina in stature, it was plain to see that she was clearly in charge of the conversation. Tahiri smiled. Jaina would never believe it if Tahiri told her how like Leia she was becoming. Chatting with Jaina and her 'subjects' would kill some more time as she waited for Jacen's return and also provide some entertainment as she watched Jaina skillfully banter with her former master.
As she approached from behind the trio, none of them saw her coming. She'd had to navigate her way through the clumps of other mingling guests to get to them, so, unfortunately, neither one of them thought to cease their present course of discussion for her sake.
"Jacen's getting married?" Kyp Durron said in disbelief, the drink in his hand frozen in midair.
Tahiri froze, as well, and quickly hid behind a nearby group of partygoers so that she could listen without being noticed.
"Yeah! Can you believe it?" Jaina replied excitedly. "In fact, that's where he is right now...with Tenel Ka. She's supposed to ask him tonight."
Kyp chuckled and took a quick sip of his drink. "What a rough life," he mused, "being the royal consort of a beautiful queen...at her every beck and call...at the mercy of her every whim and fantasy. Man, some guys get all the luck!"
Jaina rolled her eyes and then Jag Fel asked the very question screaming in Tahiri's brain, "Are you sure he'll accept her offer?"
Jaina glared at him incredulously. "Are you kidding? Jacen's been crazy about her so long that I wouldn't be surprised if the ceremony takes place before the Hapans leave in two days."
"What about Tahiri?" Kyp asked.
Jaina looked confused. "What about her?"
Kyp explained. "I thought she and he were, you know...an 'item'."
"Jacen and Tahiri?" Jaina repeated in surprise. "No...no. They're just friends."
"They've been spending an awful lot of time together," Jag added.
Jaina turned to look at the tall Chiss pilot. "Well, that's because Jacen promised Anakin he'd look after her before he died. He's been helping her deal with Anakin's death. She's been his little 'project' since he got back. And you know Jacen...he sticks with a project until it's finished. But there's nothing else between them. He's my twin, so I think I'd know."
Tahiri's heart may as well have stopped beating right then and there because it had just been ripped out, wrung out and shredded into a million painful pieces.
Jacen found he had to force himself to not run back to the main hall. Resolving matters with Tenel Ka relieved a great burden from his heart and mind. She was a dear friend and he was happy to have been able to leave things so well between them. Now he was left with a sense of freedom and eagerness to move forward with his life...
...And hopefully a certain someone would be willing to take that step with him.
The instant Jacen stepped foot back into the hall, Han Solo was at his side.
"So, how'd it go, kid?"
"Surprisingly well."
Han looked unsure as he studied his son. "You're not...? You didn't agree to...you know?"
Jacen grinned and patted his father on the back. "No, Dad. I'm not and I didn't. At least, not her and not now. Maybe someday though. I would love to have what you and Mom have, but I'm not quite ready to take that big of a step just yet."
Han breathed a huge sigh of relief and smiled. "Good. Good. No need to rush." Then he leaned close and whispered, "Besides, you know how I feel about those Hapans."
Jacen stifled a laugh. "Yeah, Dad. I know. Um, where's Tahiri?" he asked sweeping his gaze over the large crowd searching for the pretty young blonde whom he so desperately wanted to see. Finally, he spotted her at the far end of the great hall only a few feet away from his sister and her two male companions. "I see her," he announced with a smile, and turned to his father. "Wish me luck."
"Just pour on the old Solo charm and she'll be eating out of your hand, kid," Han teased with a return smack on Jacen's back.
Just as Jacen started down the stairs of the dais, he saw Tahiri abruptly turn away and begin to push her way forcefully through the crowd. In a moment, she made it out of the banquet hall and headed out of a set of large doors, which Jacen assumed led out into some of the estate's gardens. He glanced back up at his father who had also observed the whole scene, an equally distressed look showing on both men's faces.
"What do you think happened?" he asked Han.
Han, who was already on the move, said, "I don't know, but you'd better go after her. Come on!"
It was so hot.
She couldn't breathe.
She had to get some fresh air, but all these blasted people were in her way!
Finally, she made it out of the hindering mob and ran out the first set of doors she came to. Tahiri halted momentarily to suck in a gasp of the cool, salt-tinged, ocean air, letting it fill her lungs, as she warred with the whirlwind of emotions churning inside her.
Jacen getting married?...A promise to Anakin?... She was nothing but a 'project'?
It was all too much. The anger and sadness she'd felt after Anakin's death came flooding back into her soul and she felt like she might shatter into a thousand pieces.
"I have to get out of here," she told herself as she looked around for an escape route. The doors had led to a large patio of sorts with a massive glitterstone fountain as the focal point. Several stone paths wound around the area weaving in and around the various lush plant and flower gardens illuminated by burning torches. Straight ahead was a low, stone wall that stretched from left to right as far as she could see.
"So, no way out," she snorted disgustedly, "except by going back in, which is so not going to happen!"
She walked over to the wall and peered over. It was a long way down; nothing but jagged rocks and choppy waves lay at the bottom but maybe...
"I wonder if I could—"
"Don't even think about it, Tahiri."
She whirled around to face the speaker, her heart racing in her chest.
"You'd never make it," he added.
She crossed her arms and thrust her chin up in the air. "How do you know? Maybe I would make it. Besides, there's no other way out and there's no way I'm going back in there!" she exclaimed, pointing toward the open doors.
"Not having a good time?" he asked sarcastically only to be answered with an angry glare.
"Why are you here? And what do you want? Checking to make sure your brother is keeping his promise?" she spouted caustically.
"Ah...so you know about that."
"Yes, I know." Tears burned her eyes. "How could you, Anakin?! How could you do such a thing? How could you leave me alone and then make your brother promise to look after me like some pathetic little girl? I feel like such an idiot!" She stomped to the fountain and sat down on the edge to hang her head in her hands.
Anakin moved to sit beside her, the pale blue of his Force apparition a near match for Tahiri's dress. "You're not an idiot, Tahiri," he soothed. "You're wonderful and vibrant, and you deserve to live and be happy."
Several tears began rolling down her cheeks. "And how am I supposed to do that?" she snapped. "With you gone, and Jacen—" She stopped before saying more.
Anakin smiled. "Tahiri, you already are living and finding happiness." She looked up at him in confusion. "I know that maybe you can't see it yet, but everything's working out for the best."
She snorted and threw her hands up in the air. "Yeah, Jacen's marrying Tenel Ka and I'm all alone---again. How much better can things get?"
Anakin studied the mixture of emotions playing on her face and then said, "You love him." It was a statement, not a question, and it caught Tahiri off guard.
"Yes," she finally answered after a few seconds of careful contemplation. "Yes, I think I do. Are you angry?" she asked, suddenly aware of whom she was talking to.
Anakin shook his head. "No, I'm not angry. True, your falling in love wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I asked Jacen to look after you, but now I understand that it was supposed to happen that way. Everything works together for good."
"Good?!" Tahiri yelled. "What's good about it? Jacen has only spent time with me as a favor to you, while I've managed to fall in love with yet another Solo who'll soon be gone from my life. So tell me, Anakin, what's good about it?" She seemed to lose steam and then whispered, "If only you hadn't died."
Anakin silenced her with his fingers over her mouth. "Don't. Wishing for the impossible is a waste of time, Tahiri, and only keeps you mired in the past. Sure, I thought that we were destined to be together once upon a time. But now that I'm here, I see that I was never your final destination. I was just a stop on your way... your way to Jacen." Anakin paused and glanced toward the doors, an all too familiar lopsided grin spreading across his ethereal face.
"And here he comes."
As soon as the last word was spoken, Anakin's image dissipated into a shimmer of twinkling lights and was gone.
"She went that way," Han said, pointing toward the open doors in front of him. It had taken he and Jacen several minutes to traverse the obstacles of the crowded dance floor, which included being waylaid by a near drunken Lando Calrissian who wanted to know why they were in such a hurry.
"Can it, pal. The kid's got urgent business with a woman," Han explained quietly.
A sly smirk spread across the old smuggler's dark face. "Well, now, far be it from me to come between a man and his lady." Jacen blushed and then turned to look anxiously toward the doors. After taking another drink, Lando asked, "May I inquire as to the identity of the lucky girl who has captured the attention of our young Mr. Solo?"
"No, you may not," Han answered bluntly, already pushing Jacen further toward their goal. "Look, we don't have time to chit chat, Lando."
"All right! All right, old buddy," Lando called as the two Solos walked away. "But you owe me a drink later!"
Now they were standing in the doorway, and as Jacen and Han peered into the barely lit garden they could just make out the shape of someone sitting by the fountain. Jacen turned back to Han and took a deep breath.
"It's her."
Han nodded and put a hand on Jacen's shoulder. "Go get her, son. I'll make sure no one interrupts this time."
Jacen smiled and said, "Thanks, Dad."
"No problem." The two men stood there looking at one another, the bond of parent and child changing naturally to that of two friends. "I love you, Jacen," Han finally said, wondering regretfully when the last time he had said those words to Jacen had been.
"I know. I love you, too."
Han felt the moisture pool in his eyes, so he hastily patted Jacen on the back and urged him out the door. "May the Force be with you." Jacen laughed before facing front and starting his trek to the fountain. Han watched as he walked away and then grabbed the handles of the doors, pulling them shut with a soft click. Once inside he turned around and planted himself directly in front of both doors, pasting on a grim look that would hopefully keep anyone from even thinking about trying to get past him. Both of those kids deserved to be happy, and he would do whatever it took to give them that chance.
He appeared at the doorway the instant Anakin had vanished. She quickly turned away to wipe her eyes and gather her wits. Jacen Solo would not get the satisfaction of seeing her cry over him. He may have made her feel like a fool, but he'd never know.
"Tahiri?" he called softly.
She braced herself and stood to face him, anger and embarrassment fueling her courage. As he came closer, she could make out his infuriating smile and handsome face in the moonlight. It irked her to admit that she now thought him even more attractive than Anakin, and fought back the urge to smack him for making her feel that way.
"I've been looking for you."
"Have you?" she said curtly, a cold expression spread across her face belying the heat in her soul.
Jacen halted and narrowed his gaze to study her face. "Are you okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. If only she didn't know better.
Ignoring his question, she declared, "I suppose congratulations are in order."
"What?" he replied in confusion.
She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Don't play dumb with me, Jacen. I know about your wedding." A look of relief showed on his features and he took a step closer causing her to take a step back. "And I know all about the promise you made to Anakin," she added angrily.
"Oh," he replied in a whisper.
"Yes...oh," she repeated, feeling her temper rise. "So, have you finished your 'mission' to save me from my pit of despair? Tell me, has all the time and effort you've wasted on me been worth it? Do you feel exonerated of all obligations to your brother now?"
"It's not--," he reached out a hand toward her and she brushed it away.
"Don't," she stated firmly. "I really don't want to hear your sorry explanations and apologies. You're only sorry I found out." She turned away from him and hugged her arms around her chest. "I should have followed my first instinct and stayed away from you. It would have been better that way. You wouldn't have had to pretend to like me and I wouldn't have--," she cut herself off and glanced back at him over her shoulder. Then she spun back around to face him, her jaw set with determination and fire in her green eyes.
"I'm not a child, you know. I have feelings that can be hurt and I didn't need your help. I would have been just fine if you hadn't butted into my life and made me lo--," here she silenced herself yet again before she said too much. He was staring at her with those deep brown eyes that she could so easily melt into, and she felt the tears start to well. It was time for her to get away from him.
"You know what I wish?" she asked quietly. "I wish it had been you instead of him." The look of absolute shock on his face was somehow satisfying. She pushed past him and stormed back toward the doors. At this particular moment in time, she'd rather face the crowd than Jacen Solo.
Just as her fingers touched the door handle, a strong hand wrapped itself around her arm and yanked her backwards. Jacen spun her around to face him and, before she knew it, his mouth was covering hers in an urgent kiss that ended almost as soon as it started. All too soon he pulled away leaving Tahiri speechless touching her lips with a fingertip in disbelief.
Jacen blocked the doors and stood steadfast, an obstinate glare on his face as he raised one finger to point at her, an action she'd seen Han Solo take several times before.
"I want you to listen to me, Tahiri. No interrupting, got it?" he ordered as he started stepping closer to her. To keep her distance, she had to keep stepping back and nearly tripped once or twice in her blasted shoes.
"Yes, okay, I did make a promise to Anakin to look out for you. He asked me back on Myrkr. It was the last thing he said to me. But I had forgotten all about it until you showed up in my room that night. Remember?" Tahiri merely nodded, still unable to speak from the shock of his kissing her. "I had already seen how sad and lonely you were and wanted to help even before I remembered my promise."
He stopped walking and hung his head. "I admit, at first I was a bit arrogant in thinking I could somehow 'save' you from your sorrow. No one would allow me to go back to active duty, so helping you seemed like a valuable way to spend my time."
He looked up to see her glaring angrily at his confession, and forced himself to continue. "But the more time I spent with you, the more I got to know you, I realized that I wasn't doing it for Anakin...and I wasn't doing it for you. I wanted to be with you...to spend time with you...for me."
Jacen took a few more steps toward her, and this time she didn't move away. He stopped until they were only inches apart, his eyes gazing down into hers, his fingers lightly caressing the side of her face. "I tried to tell you the other night at my parents', and then again at the beach." His fingers left her face and brushed down her bare arm to gently take her hand. "But we kept getting interrupted." He reached up, pushed her bangs out of the way revealing her Vong scar and then tenderly placed a feather- light kiss on her forehead.
When he pulled back to gauge her reaction, he smiled. She still had her eyes closed. "So, you are right." Her eyes popped open questioningly. "I have now fulfilled my obligation to Anakin. He told me to kiss you, so that kiss I just gave you was for him."
Her face fell instantly at his admission, and tears started to trickle down her cheek. Jacen forced her to look at him with a gentle nudge under her chin. "That was for him...but this...this is for me," and his lips claimed hers in a passionate kiss that started out rather forcibly but quickly turned achingly tender as each of them savored every press of their mouths together. Jacen slipped an arm around her waist pulling her even closer and relishing the feel of the bare skin of her back.
He wasn't letting go.
"What are you up to, dear?"
Han turned to see his wife staring up at him, one eyebrow raised in suspicion, hands on her slender hips.
"I'm not up to anything, Princess," he replied.
"And you expect me to believe that? I know you better than you know yourself," she said with smirk. "Anyway, have you seen Jacen? I want to find out how things went with Tenel Ka."
"Um... he's, uh, a bit preoccupied at the moment."
"What are you talking about?" Leia seemed to realize at that moment that her husband was actually 'guarding' the set of closed doors behind him. "Is he out there?" she asked pointing toward the door. Han simply shrugged. Leia pushed past him with a huff and froze in place the instant she glanced out of a plane of glass. "Do you see what I see?" she asked as her husband moved close behind her to take a look.
"It's about time," Han declared. Leia spun around to stare at him.
"That was Jacen," she said, "our son..."
"Yeah, we're acquainted," Han teased, enjoying the look of shock on his wife's face. For once, he was the one in the know.
"He was kissing...Tahiri," she stated in a faint gasp. "Did you...did you know about this?"
He flashed her a Solo grin and simply nodded. Leia's expression of wide- eyed astonishment gradually changed to a grin of her own and she playfully swatted his chest.
"Why, you conniving little matchmaking nerfherder!" she exclaimed flirtatiously. "I suppose this means he's not marrying Tenel Ka."
Han chuckled. "Guess not. He seems pretty content with his present situation." Han and Leia took another look out the glass in the door, and Leia gasped.
"Did you see that?! He just grabbed her a—"
"That's my boy!" Han interjected proudly slipping an arm around his wife and urging her away from the doors. "Let's say we give them some privacy, sweetheart, and find some of our own."
"Oh, Han!" Leia declared leaning into him for a hug. "I love you."
"I know," he replied. "I know."