11: Yakisoba
"I thought I told you guys to weed this garden and weed it good!" Asuma cried as he stared in disbelief at the destruction of the yard. Dead leaves had been crumpled and were scattered all throughout the grassy wilderness that was the woman's backyard. Upturned roots had been discarded randomly—it looked as if a windstorm had blown through there.
"Hey, news alert," Asuma said, "there's been a new invention. It's called the trash bag."
"Okay, so we failed our first mission," Ino admitted, irritated with Asuma's reaction. "Now you have solid proof that your team sucks for your jounin rivals."
"That's not the point!" Asuma exclaimed. "You can't just go around failing missions like this! It reflects the capabilities of the whole team, your ability to function together, your effectiveness—"
Shikamaru gave a loud and very pointed yawn.
"Can we eat now?" Chouji grumbled. "I haven't had anything to eat for the whole day."
"What are you talking about, you fatass?" Ino snapped. "You ate at least ten bags of chips today while we were working! Not to mention the ones that you ate while we were chasing after Sakura—"
"What," Asuma said.
Ino gave a nervous high laugh. "Weeell," she began. "We got a few visitors today…"
"You abandoned your mission?" Asuma said incredulously. "Have I taught you guys nothing?!"
"Yeah," Shikamaru said promptly. Asuma shot him a glare.
"That's it," he said, digging for a cigarette and lighter in his pockets to ease his frustration. "Tomorrow, you guys are going to the worst workout of your LIVES. And if you don't do it, you're going to have another one the next day, and the day after that!"
"Sure," Shikamaru said. "You're going to supervise us like you supposedly supervised us today, right?"
"AND I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU GUYS FINALLY REALIZE WHAT THE TRUE MEANING OF BEING A NINJA IS!" he bellowed until he turned red in the face.
"Yeah, yeah, okay, we got it, sensei," Ino said wearily, waving her hand. "But we're tired; can we go now?"
"You're not going until you clean this mess up!" Asuma exclaimed, tobacco spittle dribbling down his mouth.
"Hey, we already told that grandma what happened," Shikamaru said. "She threw lots of stuff at us."
"Including pots," Chouji added.
"Yeah, so there's no point in us finishing," Shikamaru said. "I'm leaving."
Asuma began to groan as he watched his team crumble before him. "No, no one is leaving. We're going together."
"What?!" Ino cried. "It's dark already! I want to go home!"
"No, you're coming with me to eat some yakisoba like I promised," Asuma said firmly. Ino's eyes bulged. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
Chouji, however, looked elated. "REALLY? We can go eat now?!"
"Damn right," Asuma grunted. "If you guys are gonna suck, you might as well learn to suck together as a team."
"Your logic is pretty confusing," Shikamaru said dully.
"C'mon," Asuma said, completely ignoring what Shikamaru said. He grabbed Ino and Chouji and jerked his head for Shikamaru to follow. "We're going to learn what it's like to be a real team."
"YAY! FOOD!" Chouji cried.
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The End
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