Whee! It's Chapter 5! I wrote this at work.. all day long! It was really slow, and I work in a callcenter so I get to sit here and do whatever I want as long as there are no phones to answer. Yeah.. pretty neat, until people irritate you to the point where you wish that Zim would just blow up the world already. Anyways, this chapter is weird too, but I hope that you all like it. Thank you for your amazing reviews, as always! ummmm.. also, in response to Goopy Goo's review, I was actually thinking about doing that. Dib's condition is gradually going to get worse.. his 48 hours isn't even half over yet! :) How evil of me, to torment poor Dib.. The chapter title is actually a parody of a chapter in Lord of the Rings, by the way.. Flight to the Ford. heh heh heh.
Chapter 5 - Flight to the Krazy Taco
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Dib tried calling after him again, but Zim had sealed the door to the room where he was reporting to his Tallests, blocking out all of the noises in his base. He was angry.. foolish Dib-human.. how dare he?
"I'm sorry for making you wait, my Tallests," Zim said apologetically.
"Yeah, whatever," said Red, still irritated at Zim. "Now, about your request.. you said you needed something having to do with the lizard-beasts that are now extinct?"
"Yes," Zim stated simply. "The antidote that was concocted in an effort to make them into filthy, scaly, smelly slaves!" Purple smiled fondly, he remembered those battles, he had even taken part in one of them. The horror, the gore, the thrill of hunting and being hunted.. the blood everywhere. The blood? He faintly remembered something about the blood. He was pulled out of his memories by Red, who elbowed him in the side.
"Do you know anything about this.. antidote he's talking about?" Red stared at Purple, who looked clueless for a moment, then..
"I remember," he said. "Zim, nobody has needed that since those monsters were all killed off, it's going to be difficult for us to even find someone with records on how to make it. Why do you need this?"
"Ummmm.." Zim was frantically trying to think, and his color was gradually returning to his skin.. "Sirs! It is vital to my enslavement of the filthy humans! If I cannot get it, my mission will be a failure! A complete and utter failure..." Both of his leaders were looking at him skeptically.
"Give us a few hours, Zim.. we'll try and find it for you," Purple said. One of his eyes was twitching.
"Yes, my Tallests!" Zim saluted as they ended the transmission.
"Speak for yourself," Red glared at his purple-wearing co-ruler. "If you think that I'm going to spend one moment of my precious time calling people and doing research for Zim, you're crazy." That being said, he took a large bite out of an Irken candy bar. Purple shook his head and floated over to the window, staring out of it at the stars.
"Please, it's not like we were planning on doing anthing today anyway.. I just want him out of my antennae."
"Are you joking? I have very important things to do!" Red looked over at some passing soldier. "You! Get me some curly-fries!"
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Dib was staring at the door, now, waiting for Zim to return. It felt like it had been hours, and his clock was ticking. He heard a faint noise in the hallway, like a squeaking sound, but growing louder as it came closer. Something small and green passed by the door, then stopped and came back, staring at him from the doorway.
"Oooh," GIR said, bouncing in in his squeaky little dog-suit.
"Oh, just great.." Dib mumbled.
"Hello, big-headed Dib-human!" GIR giggled and jumped up on the table with him. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Dib asked the robot, irritably.
"The cha-cha!" GIR yelled and danced around the edge of the table, then started hopping up and down on Dib's stomach.
"Uugh! Get off of me!" Dib shouted and would have pushed the insane robot off of him if he had had use of his hands. The robot's jumping on his guts didn't make him feel much better, either. Suddenly, GIR froze like a deer in headlights. Dib looked up at him uncertainly, wondering if he had malfunctioned or something.. but judging by the way that GIR acted, it seemed like he was always malfunctioning. GIR and Zim were perfect for each other.. they were both crazy.
GIR let out a maniacal giggle and jumped off of him, grabbed a nearby remote control, and turned on a large monitor that was mounted on the far wall. Instantly the room was filled with music, and not just any music.. it was the most irritating music Dib had ever heard. To make things worse, the show was about cute, fluffy bunnies in all the colors of the rainbow.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Dib screamed. As if dying wasn't bad enough, and feeling sick wasn't enough torment. He couldn't be subjected to this for the last few hours of his short life. "I need to get out of here.." His mind was blurring again, partially from still feeling weak and sleepy, but also from the incredible amount of stupidity in the room. He stared at GIR, getting an idea. "Hey?"
"Yeees?" GIR turned around to look at him, smiling.
"What's your name?"
"My name is..." GIR paused, as if thinking. He didn't say anything.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"What is your name?" Dib repeated. He couldn't believe this.. this robot was supposed to be advanced alien technology?
"GIR," he said, then went back to watching tv. Dib blinked and raised an eyebrow. It's name was GIR?
"Um.. GIR, would you release me from this table?"
"I don't know.. Master said that I was not to touch anything that had to do with filthy Earth monkeys..."
'Damn you, Zim,' The boy tried to get GIR's attention again, but failed. He was concentrating too much on the brainless bunny show. Commercials came on.. GIR apparently liked watching those too, he didn't once glance away until..
"TACOOOOOOOS!!!!" He screamed, hurting Dib's ears. The Krazy Taco Man was running around the screen, screaming about how crazy he was. Dib smirked, getting an idea.
"So, you like tacos, GIR?" The human asked him quietly.
"I love the little tacos," Gir sighed blissfully. "I love them good.."
"If you let me off of this table, we can go get some tacos," Dib tempted GIR, and GIR stared at the human for a moment, unsure of what to do. Eventually, though, he was seduced into helping Dib's plans for escape. He jumped up to the console and pressed a small blue button. Immediately the cables unwrapped themselves from Dib's body, allowing him to climb down from the table.
His legs trembled for a moment, threatening to turn into jelly once again, but he steadied himself by grabbing the side of the table. "Thank you, GIR," he smiled down at the little robot. 'Finally, I can escape.' GIR smiled again, leading the way out of the room and to the elevator.
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Zim paced the room, his insides were still twitching as he thought.. what if his Tallests did manage to find the formula and give it to him? There was no use for it on Irk anymore, so he could understand why it might take them a while to find.. but if they found it, what if it contained chemicals or something that could not be found on Earth? What would he do then? He couldn't just say, 'Sorry, pitiful Earth-monkey, I tried to get you out of the mess you got yourself into, but I can't so I guess I better start digging your grave.' Could he?
"No.. no." He muttered to himself. He would find a way, if this plan didn't work. There had to be some way... Why did he care so much? Why?
'Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer,' a voice in his head said.
"Invaders feel nothing and need no one!!!" He shouted. "No love, no hate.. wait.. yes, I do feel hate.. Damn you! No filthy friendship. I don't give a flying rat's behind about this stupid planet, or that stupid big-headed freak boy!" He was glowering at the wall as he ranted. He ranted so loudly and was so lost in himself that he didn't even hear GIR's war cry of 'TAAAAACOOOOOOOS!!!!!' as he took off with Dib on his back as they reached the upper level, and sped out into the sunlight.
'Please,' part of him laughed at himself. 'Don't you get it yet? You are weak for not just putting out of his coming misery.'
'Bah. Don't listen to him.. You're weak for not admitting that he's actually not as bad as you try to think he is.' Angel-Zim and Demon-Zim were quarrelling inside his head again.. no wonder his head hurt. They were getting pretty irritating. "SILENCE!" He ordered them.
"Fine, but you know that this is the way it's supposed to be. You're like.. a roadrunner and a coyote, the two of you, like those inane cartoons that GIR always watches. You always think of some insane plot to destroy him or the world, and he always finds a way to stop your plans. Face it, Zim.. you are just like the coyote, dumb like the coyote." Angel-Zim was standing next to him again, with a smirk on his face.
"My plans are not dumb like a coyote's!" he ranted.
"Yeah, sure..whatever.. now go back to your worrying," his good side said as he receded back into Zim's brain.
He wanted to erase every thought about stupid Dib from his mighty Irken brain, but he figured that he might as well check on the crazy Earth-boy. He pressed a button on the door panel and it opened with a loud hiss. Marching, he moved down the hallway to the room that presumably held the Dib.
"Allright, Dib-creature. I suppose that I can release you for a moment." He checked his watch as he walked through the door. A few hours.. he hoped the Tallests wouldn't take long. Dib's clock was ticking. "Dib?" Looking up from his watch, he saw that the human was gone, and happy rabbits were hopping all over his tv. His eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously as he picked up the remote control and turned off the monitor. "GIR!!!"
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"TAAAAACOOOOS!!!" GIR screamed at the top of his lungs as he flew down the busy streets towards his favorite eating place of all time.
"AAAAAAHHHH!!!" Dib held on for dear life, or at least what was left of his as the little robot/green dog flew through the crouds of people, and the traffic. They almost hit two semi-trucks, a poodle, and a little kid with a new jumprope. By the time they had reached the Krazy Taco, Dib felt like his intestines had flipped over and his skin had turned an even more sickly shade of pale.
"Taco taco taco," GIR purred happily. That nice Dib human was going to get him his wonderful tacos. He felt like dancing, and he did as Dib tried to recover and not vomit into the bushes. Dib wobbled into the restaurant, picking leaves out of his pointy hair. GIR hopped and skipped and jumped most joyously by his side. Dib only regretted that he had dropped his camera in the bushes as they were leaving Zim's house.
"Damn," He muttered as he stood in the line to get GIR the tacos that he promised. "This is the worst weekend I've ever and will ever have." He paid the taco man, then handed a large tray of slimy, greasy tacos to Zim's insane robot henchman.
"Tacos.." GIR said again in a hushed voice, as if he had walked into some amazing, sacred, holy place. He held the tray above his head and got himself a table. Dib sighed and walked out of the Krazy Taco, hoping that he could make it home on his gelatin legs.