Yay! It's chapter 6! Sorry this one took so long.. gah. I've been writing it between calls.. and it's actually a bit longer than the others, which was surprising. I couldn't work on it last night.. my computer was on the fritz due to excessive pop-up ads. Accursed Internet! Well.. I guess it's not so bad, seeing as it allows me to post my insane stories. Gaz is in this chapter! whoo! She's sort of mean, though.. but then again, she pretty much always is, isn't she? Oww.. my bruises hurt! I need soda! I think I drank too much green tea before writing this chapter. I have a soda craving now. Hey! I just realized that I can make those neat lines on my chapters too! How stoopid of me not to notice before!

Chapter 6 - Never let your enemies know where you live.

"Computer, locate GIR and the Dib-human," Zim commanded, standing in his living room and now wearing his Earthly disguise.

"The unit, GIR, and Dib Membrane are no longer anywhere on the premises," the computer said in a monotone voice. Zim grumbled and let slip a few profane words.

"Hey, it's not my fault. You never said that they couldn't leave the house." The Irken glared at his ceiling. He had enough to worry about without his own computer system antagonizing him, too. He reached behind himself and pressed a button on his PAK.

"GIR, respond," he hissed, crossing his arms and looking impatient. He waited a few minutes, but heard nothing from the robot. "GIR?" The first thought that ran through his head was that Dib had taken GIR back to his house and was probably taking pictures to send to those.. paranormal humans that he knew.. what were they called? The Swollen Meatballs? He couldn't remember. "Computer, show me GIR's specifications." There was a soft humming sound as the picture of the green monkey above his couch slid up towards the ceiling to reveal the large monitor behind it.

The details of GIR's system flashed on the screen.. or at least the parts that Zim had upgraded did, anyway. Zim scanned the screen for information, then smiled triumphantly as he found what he was looking for. "Computer, activate the tracking device implanted in GIR's guidance chip." He pressed a few buttons on his watch and headed out the door. "GIR," he said again when he was outside after he had made sure none of the neighbors were watching him. "Are you there, GIR?" Static... then..

"Hiii!" GIR answered cheerfully, he had apparently finished his Tacos.

"GIR! Finally!" Zim shouted into the microphone. "Do you realize what you've done?! You've let the Dib loose, GIR! He's loose, probably wreaking havoc upon the doomed planet!" The Irken paused.. "Oh.. nevermind.. that's what I'm supposed to be doing!" GIR giggled.

"Duh."

"Anyway.. GIR, get back here! I need you to help me find the Dib-human before he does something stupid, like get those pictures in his camera developed or go the human hospital where he'll send the filthy doctor-beasts to destroy us both!" He ordered in an urgent tone.

"But I am here, Master," GIR said, poking Zim in the back with one of his paws. Zim whirled around, staring wide-eyed at his sidekick.

"Don't DO that!"

"Sorry," GIR smiled. Zim looked down at his watch, sure enough, it pinpointed GIR to be exactly where he was. He pressed another button, revealing a countdown.. the countdown to Dib's doom. He gasped softly, it was almost 2:00 pm..

"About 40 hours," he stood there, thinking. "GIR, Do you know where the Dib-human ran off to?"

"He didn't run, Master. I took him to get tacos, and he walked off, then after I was done eating those delicious little tacos I took him home!" GIR shouted excitedly. "He tried to leave without me, but he fell over as soon as he got out the door, so I flew him home and he screamed a lot and then he barfed up his breakfast in his neighbor's flower bed!" Insane giggles were coming from GIR now, as if Dib losing his breakfast had been the funniest thing he had ever seen. Zim looked slightly disturbed, but regained his composure, attaching a leash around GIR's neck. "I didn't see where he went after that, though.. I was chasing a rat!" Zim shuddered as GIR let out a loud burp. "It was yummy!"

"GIR, as much as I would really love to hear about your rat eating tendencies," Zim began, sarcasm evident in his tone, "now is not the time for this. We have to find the human and bring him back here! The mission and his pathetic life depend on it!" He was waving his thin arms in the air, as if that would help show the severity of the situation.

"YAY!" GIR shouted at started running down the street, dragging the distressed Invader behind him.
'Curse you, piggies!' Gaz thought as she grumbled loudly. One day she would destroy them all, every single Vampire Pig that dared to show it's unholy snout. She heard a loud crashing sound, followed by a groan that she recognized as her brother's. Looking up, she glared at him as if to promise that he would die early, but Dib didn't see it because he was too busy pushing himself up off of the floor. He had collapsed as he had come through the doorway, starting to feel woozy again after desecrating his neighbors' yard.

Her Gameslave 2 beeped at her ominously, she dragged her eyes from her brother to the small screen, which now read 'Game Over'. It was unheard of! Game Over?!

Suddenly, Dib found that it was much easier to get back up, but only because Gaz had hauled him to his feet by the front of his shirt. A weary gaze met a destructive glare, causing his heart to sink in his chest.

"Congratulations, Dib. You have successfully caused me to have to start all over from the beginning of the level. Are you aware that I will have to destroy you now?" Dib stared at her, but when she raised her small fist to rain misery down upon him he didn't flinch, which shocked her. She gave him a sort of offended look. "What in the nine levels of hell is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" He looked puzzled.

"You're supposed to be cowering in fear and whimpering like a baby."

"Oh. Do I normally do that?" Dib had turned away and headed upstairs before he even bothered to wait for her answer. Gaz's cold stare followed after him, and watched him stumble and almost fall down the flight of steps... She went up to his room a few moments later, after he had made it with much difficulty.

"What's going on, Dib?" She asked him as she pushed open his door. He was sitting on his bed, staring down at the floor.

"I'm dying, Gaz," he didn't lift his eyes to look at her. Gaz crossed her arms, looking irritated as usual.

"What happened, did you eat a slice of the mushroom pizza from Bloaty's again? I warned you to always pick the mushrooms off--"

"No.. that's not it. Zim's venomous alien blood is poisoning me, I'm dying." Dib said solemnly. Gaz rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm.

"Whatever. Stop speaking your craziness about your weird friend and get a life or something."

Dib clutched his arm and heard the door slam. Being here didn't feel much better than it did when he was at Zim's, and he still couldn't think of a way to get out of this. Laying down made him feel better, at least he didn't feel like he was going to topple over when he already on his back. He pulled the blankets tightly around his body and shivered, feeling just as cold even in the midst of the warmth that was his bed.

'Probably a fever,' the boy thought as he groaned. This weekend was just getting better and better. In a few minutes, his lack of sleep finally caught up with him. 5:00 am was definitely too early to get up and go spy on Zim's house.. way too early.

"I'll never get up that early ever again," he mumbled before falling into a sound sleep.
"GIR! Would you stop dragging me?!" Zim gave GIR's leash a hard tug and the little robot flew back against him, slamming into his midsection and then into the concrete sidewalk. "AAAH! My squeedilyspooch!" Zim clutched at himself, doubling over in pain. GIR smiled up at his master as Zim slowly and painfully started walking again to his arch rival's front door.

Gaz paused her game, clenching her teeth in utter irritation. If she had one more interruption from her brother or anyone that knew her brother after this, she would dismember whoever it was and put their head on a pike in the front yard as a warning to all. Stalking up to the door, she opened it before Zim had a chance to even ring the doorbell, stopping him in mid-cringe.

GIR smiled up at her, making a little happy, gushy noise. Gaz returned his adoration with a stern glare, then looked at Zim.

"What do you want?" She inquired coldly.

"I.. uh.." Zim faltered under her frightening gaze. "I need to know if you have seen your Earth-stink brother! It is of the utmost importance that I find him!" His eye twitched a little as he placed his arms behind his back, lacing his fingers together.

"He's upstairs in his room," she said as she went back to the couch, uncaring and leaving the door open so that the Irken could enter. Zim looked down at GIR, then led him inside, where he immediately hopped up onto the couch next to Gaz, who had gone back to her game. After shutting the door, Zim stared at her for a moment, wondering if she would rip off his head if he interrupted her again.

"Dib-sister?"

"What?" She growled in response. Zim held his ground.

"How is he?" He asked hesitantly, tilting his head to one side as he looked at her, then looked in the direction of the stairs.

"How is he? Stupid, as usual. He's acting weirder than normal." She left it at that, intent on ignoring everyone as she fought against the evil pigs to win her game. GIR was silent, but still stared at her with that adoring look, he liked the Gaz-human.

Not daring to say more, Zim started up the stairs, listening carefully for any sounds of the Dib, and peeking around corners just in case the human had set a trap for him. Convinced that there was nothing horrible waiting for him, save for the human himself, he walked down the hallway with more confidence. He pondered silently as he walked, thinking of how he could get the human to cooperate and come back to his base. He could always knock him out with some heavy object and drag him back.. or he could trick the human with some ingenious plan.. or he could have GIR fly him back to the base, though the thought of Dib getting queasy to the point of throwing up everywhere again was very unpleasant to Zim. He shuddered in disgust, pushing open a door.

Nope, definitely not the room with Dib in it. The room was dark.. the one window it contained didn't even let the sunlight in, as it was covered with a heavy purple curtain. Books, video games, and skulls were all over the place.. Zim shut the door quickly, not wanting to face the Gaz-human's wrath if she found him snooping around her room. He pressed his back against the door and heaved a sigh.

"Hmmm.." He pushed open another door, which revealed the upstairs bathroom. "Fitting for the Dib-stink to live in, but no!" he said to himself as he moved on to the next room. He paused outside the last door in the hallway, listening. He could hear Dib's soft snoring from the other side of the door. He opened it with caution, as if awaiting an attack from a rabid animal.

This room was dark as well, but a little bit of sunlight filtered in through the blinds on the windows. Zim's large eyes adjusted within moments. He took everything in, the colors, the layout.. it might be useful someday, when he was plotting against the Dib again. He snickered a little as he stared at the human's laptop. 'Pathetic.' He was curious though, to know what data the human possessed. Especially when it concerned him, but he couldn't allow himself to be distracted. Not now.

"Where are you, Dib-monkey?" He looked around the room and found the noises to be coming from a bundled form on the bed. "Dib?" He poked at the blankets, but the snoring noise only got louder. "Would you stop snarling at me and come out of there?!" Zim tapped his foot and crossed his arms, becoming annoyed with the hiding Dib. He jumped up onto the bed, causing it to shake a little. "Stop hiding from me like a coward!"

"5 more minutes, Gaz.." Dib said sleepily, rolling over. Zim glared down at him.

"You confuse me with your wretched Earth-sister? Stop talking madness, Dib-human! Come back to the base with me so that I can take your camera and destr- I mean, cure you." He grabbed the blankets and pulled hard, then fell off the bed and into the tangled mass of the comforter. "Gahh!"

Dib shivered and pulled his legs in close to his body, then resumed his sleeping. Zim fought with the blankets, kicking and screaming until he managed to defeat them, leaving them in a pile on the floor. He then picked up one of his large contacts that had fallen out in the struggle and popped it back on over his eye with a snarl.

"Diiiib!" He whined, jumping up on the bed again and looking at the boy once more. "This is getting very, very, very, very annoying!" He grabbed his rival's shoulders and shook him relentlessly until the boy woke up, which only took a second or two.

"Huh, wha?" Dib looked into Zim's large eyes, then yelped and kicked him off of the bed. "ZIM! What the hell are you doing?!" That was the last face he wanted to wake up to.. and for the second time that hour Zim was doubled over in pain, clutching at his organs.

"Foolish... Dib-weasel!" He panted, then straightened, knowing he was going to have bruises. He could feel the blood pooling under his skin already. "Why must you always kick me there?"

"Well, I could kick you in your horrible green head if you like," Dib retorted, smirking at the Invader.

"Smelly human! This is no time for your aggravating nonsense! I need to take you back to the base so-"

"Never! I'm not going to spend the last few hours of my ridiculously short life with you!" Dib protested, jumping off of his bed and landing in a sort of defensive stance, before sinking to the floor as his knees buckled again, feeling lightheaded. Zim sighed.

"The annoyance sharks are swimming in my incredible brain, Dib-monkey," he crossed his arms and looked down upon his nemesis. "Now come quietly or I'll have to take you by force."

"And how do you expect to do that, Zim? I hope you're planning on carrying me, because I'm not moving." He would have added 'you'll never take me alive,' but he wasn't sure that would be a good thing to say in the current situation he was in. A sly, sadistic smirk had formed on the alien's face, which was unnerving. Dib could have sworn that he could see Zim's evil brain working and knew immediately that he should have kept his mouth quiet and fended him off with a cattle-prod or something.

Zim let out a small, evil sounding sort of cackle, then quickly grabbed Dib's blanket and threw it over him. Dib tried to fight his way out of it but all he ever saw was blackness as it enveloped him and heard the alien's insane giggling as he started dragging the captured boy across the floor.
Okay.. now I have to finish my Zim fanart and study for my college placement test! I have much to do! So much! ::runs off::