Okay, sorry it's taken so long to update, but the next chapter is finally here!

Chapter Eight: Drinking in the Bathroom

When Hermione did not show up for lunch, Harry and Ron were uneasy. After not seeing her at any of their afternoon classes, they were concerned. But now it was ten, and none of the Gryffindors had seen Hermione since potions, and Ron and Harry were worried. They had already checked the kitchens, the library, Hagrid's, and even had Ginny check her dormitory. They sat in front of the fire, thinking of what to do.

"Did we look around the entire library?" asked Ron. "I mean, it's a big room."

"Yeah, we checked everywhere. And we're not the only ones looking for her. Ginny's been out with Parvarti and Lavender. And most everyone knows we've been lo-"he cut off, and smile crossed his face. "Ron, can you believe how stupid we've been?" Ron raised an eyebrow at him. "The Marauder's Map! Unless she's run off to Hogsmeade, then we can find her!" he dashed up the stairs and pulled the map out of his trunk. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he said, tapping the parchment. As the shapes and writing began appearing on the paper, Harry walked back down to where Ron was waiting in the common room. He held the completed map up, and the two boys searched for the dot that signified their friend's whereabouts.

"There she is," said Ron, pointing to the second floor. "She's in Myrtle's bathroom."

When they made their way downstairs without running into any prefects, they found Hermione in the corner of one of the stalls. Her eyes were red. There were empty bottles on the floor around her, and Myrtle was hovering just above the toilet, looking sympathetic.

"Mione?" asked Ron. "Are you okay?"

Hermione looked up at him, and appeared to be having trouble bringing him into focus. "Oh, Ron," she said, her speech slurred. "I'm fine, except, you know, the man I love can't remember our first kiss. Or anything else about m-me." Tears leaked out of her eyes, and Myrtle reached out to pat her on the back, although that attempt obviously failed. Harry knelt down.

"Hermione, have you been...drinking?" Hermione nodded, or tried to nod. What happened was her head lolling up and down like a bobblehead on a roller coaster. "I think we need to get you upstairs. Come on," he put her arm around his neck and helped her to her feet. "Ron, what has she been drinking?"

Ron looked at one of the bottles. "Well, this is just a wine cooler, but this one's schnapps, and this one's...firewhisky? Mione, where'd you get this?" Hermione looked at him as though he had sprouted tentacles from his head.

"That, Ronald Weasy, is for me to know, and for you to...not know." She let go of Harry to plop back down on the floor, and grab the nearest bottle, taking a swig of whiskey. "Leave me alone. I don't wanna go nowhere."

Harry looked at Myrtle. "How long has she been here?"

"Since around one-thirty. But she's only been drinking since two. She brought all of this with her, but couldn't open anything until she figured out how to open them on the toilet seats. I tried to talk her out of it, but no one listens to me."

"Mione, what happened after potions class?" asked Ron, gathering up empty bottles to throw away.

"I asked Severus if remembered who he was with on the trip to Hogsmeade, when I mailed your letter. You did get the letter, didn't you?" Harry nodded. "I'm glad. Now, what was I talking about?"

"You asked Snape who he was with."

"Oh, yeah. And then, he said that he was there with Lucius and Narcissa, and couldn't remember any one e-el-else." She broke down into tears again and took another drink, except she missed her mouth and dribbled whiskey down her front. She looked at it, frowning. "Damn bottle's empty. Gimme another one."

"No, Hermione. You and Ron and I are going to go back upstairs, and we're going to get Parvarti and Lavender to take you upstairs to bed, where you will wake up tomorrow with a terrible hangover. Now come on." Hermione pouted, but held her hand out so he could help her up. "Mione, is there any more firewhisky?" she looked up at him.

"Maybe in that bag, but I might ha-"she squinted at him, then frowned. "You are head boy, Ron!"

Ron's face took on a innocent look. Harry sighed. "Ron, check the map, is there anyone coming?" Ron took a quick look at the parchment, and shook his head. "Good, now help me carry her, I don't think she can walk by herself."
"Well, at least we know why Hermione isn't here this morning," said Ron. "She's either cursing everything that makes a sound in her dormitory, or she's still passed out."

"I'd say the latter," said Harry. "With us carrying her, it was nearly eleven by the time we got back to the common room, and then it took another half hour to find someone to take her up to the girl's dorm. She'll probably sleep until noon." They were silent for a moment. "So, Slytherin game next weekend?"

The two boys talked for a few minutes, until they saw McGonagall approaching. She had a concerned look on her face. "Mister Weasley, Mister Potter, I noticed that Miss Granger is not with you this morning."

"Well," began Harry, trying to think of anything other that the truth. "Professor, you were teaching when Hermione was here twenty-one years ago, right? So you know what's going on?"

"Ah. With Professor Snape? I do. And I also know that Myrtle has informed me of Miss Granger's whereabouts yesterday, and I expect to hear the same story from you." Harry blanched.

"Er," said Ron. "Well, when we found Hermione, Myrtle said she'd been drinking for nearly eight hours, and there were around twenty empty bottles with her. I suppose she's either asleep, or praying to the porcelain gods."

Harry shot Ron a dirty look. "She was really upset. We had Lavender and Parvarti take her to her room." McGonagall gave him an uninterpretable look, then turned on her heel, walking out of the hall.
Hermione was having a good dream, except someone kept banging a big metal pan on her head. When she opened her eyes, she realized that it was someone knocking on the door. "Go away."

The door opened, and McGonagall stepped into the room. "Miss Granger," she said in a quiet and kind voice. "Miss Granger, could you please sit up? I have something that I wish to tell you." Hermione rained facedown in her bed. "I know why Severus cannot remember."
Next time on BIWEB:

"I am sorry, Miss Granger."

"That's...that's okay," Hermione said as she wiped her eyes.

"But I think there is a way we can fix it."

I know it's short, but I also know you guys want another chapter soon, so here it is. Please review, it really makes my day.

And before you even say it, I know that it is totally uncharacteristic of Hermione to get piss-ass drunk, so I don't need you to tell me. If you don't like it, there are thousands of other HP fics here.