Seth walked down the narrow hallway, wondering what was keeping Marissa, when he almost walked into Phil Malone - or at least, that's what Summer called him. She'd said that even though he was cool and fun for a while, 'he was no Seth Cohen.' He didn't know how to feel about that. Should he be flattered or insulted? After all, he could bet that it didn't take intimate dates in dark corners of a restaurant to figure out that a tall, gym rat called Phil Malone 'was no Seth Cohen.'
Just before he could take a right towards the concession stand, he saw a tall willowy figure at the other end of the entrance. It was a little dark but her silhouette had become distinct to him and he could see that she was holding a cup and what looked like a hotdog.
She started speed-walking when she heard his voice. She'd been standing at that spot for over fifteen minutes trying to decide on what to do. Should she go back to the gym and keep up the charade or should she just free herself and walk away? Going back there would mean hugging and kissing a boy she no longer knew, the same one who was dating a different version of herself. It would also mean watching her best friend experience the kind of love she'd most recently been thinking about. She didn't want Seth Cohen - how retarded would that be? But it wouldn't hurt to be with someone who was a little less like the Ryan she thought she wanted.
But when she heard her name, she panicked. How was she going to explain her long absence? And how was she going to prevent herself from blurting out the wrong thing and just confusing everything and everyone? She didn't want that kind of responsibility, so she ran.
He didn't even know why he chased after her. He thought it was a complete waste of energy chasing after someone who didn't want to be caught and he only broke that rule when it concerned Summer because, well, she was the exception to every rule. But there he was, running after Marissa who it seemed, had decided that she didn't want to see him. He didn't know what he was going to say to her or even if he'd make her tell him why she was running from him, but all he knew at that moment was that he wanted to catch her.
She would have kept running if her cup didn't slip from her hand, smashing on the floor and spilling its contents on the dark tile. If she didn't have a conscience, she'd have left it and not cared if a thousand people slipped and fell. But she couldn't - she already had more than enough things to worry about and she didn't want to spend the next few months wondering if every person in crutches was a victim of her selfishness.
"Marissa, where are you going to?" Seth said, crouching next to her and touching her shoulders.
"Nowhere as you can see. I need to clean this up."
Seth stood up and looked down at her. "Wait here so that you can make sure nobody slips. I'm going to get a mop."
As Seth mopped the floor, Marissa watching him, wondering if she'd have any responses for him when he asked her where she'd been going to. As they walked back from the janitor's closet, Seth said, "I think we've missed most of the game but I think there's enough time to see the last quarter."
"I guess so," she replied, staring ahead of her, not looking at him.
Just as they were about to enter the gym, Marissa stopped abruptly. "Seth, I can't go in there," she whispered.
"What?" He took her hand. "Of course you can." He noticed that her face was white but didn't want to pry. It wasn't his place - Summer was his to worry about, while she was Ryan's. He refused to give in to his worry and just wanted her to follow him to the gym so that things could get back to normal and everything could make sense again.
She shook her head vigorously. "No, I can't. I can't go back in there."
"Why not?" She was trembling like someone desperate for a hit of heroine, crystal meth or something equally as nasty so, he moved closer and caressed the side of her arm. She was wearing a sleeveless top and his palm on her skin brought back those feelings that he'd forced himself to suppress; the sensations he'd never had the right to experience. He took his hand away and put it in his pocket. She didn't respond, so he repeated his question.
"Can't you see? It's different now. You, me, Ryan, Summer... we are all different now. So why are trying to pretend like we are not?" she eventually replied.
"What do you mean we are different? Underneath it all, we are still the same. Ryan's a father now, but we can work through it. Summer dated someone else for a while... and you and me…"
"We haven't changed at all because just as we agreed, we didn't do anything," she interrupted, her eyes brimming with tears.
Seth reached for her face and wiped the moisture off her right cheek. Yes, they didn't even have the right to claim to have changed. Ryan couldn't help becoming a father and Summer couldn't help being hurt by his own selfishness. And what he and Marissa were pretending to not have done was inexcusable. It didn't matter how they felt because it never happened. And the sooner they remembered that, the better. In the world they lived in, Seth was meant for Summer and Ryan for Marissa - there was no contesting that, even if they wanted to.
"You and Summer... is everything going well?" Marissa asked, hoping to somehow read his body language. He nodded, not giving anything away. Not that she needed any more proof because with the way they acted around one another, she could already tell that they had become a different couple and she didn't understand why he felt the need to hold on so fiercely. She suspected that it had something to do with his identity, that he was so used to being the guy who loved Summer and that he was too afraid to be someone else. And Marissa felt a little sad for him -it must suck being trapped by one's feelings.
Each was lost in their own thoughts till they were interrupted by screaming high school kids. Seth stretched his hand out to her, "Ready to come in?"
She sighed then shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I can't be with Ryan anymore," she said aloud even though it was mainly for her own benefit - she'd finally been able to say the words. She'd known that it'll come to this but she'd been stalling, hoping that she could convince herself of otherwise. As she came to terms with the fate of her relationship, she felt the stinging tears fall freely from her eyes. She knew she shouldn't be crying in front of him, but she couldn't help it. It was the end of her chapter with Ryan and she needed to physically let go of him.
All Seth needed was to comfort her. He didn't know why she'd come to that decision or even what it meant - he just wanted her to stop crying. As he held her, he realized that it was probably the last time he'd ever do that, so, he let himself drink in the smells of shampoo and body lotion, the unique mixture of citrus and cocoa butter that he'd come to love. And as she sobbed into his shoulder, he found himself lifting her face up till her was staring into her sad eyes. Love was a very human desire and at that moment, she was mourning a great love and just to give her hope, he placed his lips on hers and gently kissed her. But he was startled to discover that it was nothing like he remembered. It wasn't a hot, passionate kiss that led to sex, instead, it was a new type of kiss - a soft, warm exchange that managed to express the things they were too frightened to say.
As he walked back to Summer, his cup still half-full, he wondered if he'd ever experience that kind of kiss again.
The End.
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A/N: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. This was the story I had in my head when I wrote the one-shot so I decided to stick with the ending I'd imagined. I hope you are not too disappointed.
Alexis, I'm glad you enjoyed this story. As to your question, it's open to interpretation. I don't want to spoil it with my opinion - it all depends on what you think. :-)