Zim hadn't moved from his spot at the windowsill for days. Not since the day the Irkens paid a visit. It must have been almost a week ago by now.

I had known it would affect him, but I had no idea he would grieve this long. I wasn't sure of all the details, but I had a feeling he wouldn't want the Irkens to see him like this…as my prisoner.

It may go even beyond that. I don't think he would have cried the way he did for simple humiliation.

Zim hasn't cried since. He hasn't done anything since. He just sits there all day, staring out beyond the glass, as though something were to rise from the dust. As though there's something out there only he can see and hear.

He won't even talk now. He used to be so desperate before, and I really feel bad. He would attempt to talk to me, or even talk to himself about something that might grab my attention. I was cold and never responded to him. Infact, I only ever spoke to him when I felt it was absolutely necessary. I only had myself for conversation now.

I had no idea what had caused me to suddenly care for him in the slightest. Maybe it was something in the air, or perhaps it was some kind of alien trick. Somehow though…the other night…with him in my arms…

…It felt so…right…

It felt like we were the only ones left in the entire world in the only place that remained on Earth. Nothing mattered but us and whatever it was in the air.

I had never experienced anything like that before. Certainly not for Zim. Could this be that weird love thing? …Somehow, that seemed unlikely. I mean, this was Zim for God's sake! Even if I loved him, he'd never love me back anyway because of all the things I'd done to him.

If I didn't love him though…why did he matter so much to me?

It feels like an odd, hypocritical statement, coming from me--his tormentor. It's true though. I haven't been able to get him off of my mind since that night. He's always in my head, tugging at my brain and haunting my dreams.

You deserve this, a voice whispers in my head. You deserve the pain of being in love without being loved in return. You deserve to love your only hate.

I always scream back at that voice that I don't love Zim, that I only hate him. They always laugh at me though. They laugh and laugh until I find myself tugging at my hair to get them to stop.

…Maybe I really am crazy.

My heart sank every time I glanced over at Zim. There was definitely something wrong here, but then again there always was. I knew I would never be able to fix anything I had done to him, any heartbreak I had caused…but I felt like I needed to do something now.

I turned on heel and headed back into my study. Reaching over my mattress I felt for a box. Once I found it, I fished through it for something particular. I wasn't even sure if I still had it here, but it was worth enough. Sure enough though it was there. With some difficulty, I pulled my findings out of the ugly brown box and admired them for a moment or so.

It was Zim's old disguise. I refused to let him wear it anymore, seeing as I thought he would never need it again. The wig was mussed from the events of the Impact and one of the huge contacts was dented, but both were easily fixable.

Fixing the wig was more fun than I thought it'd be. I gave it a new hairstyle that didn't reek of the fifties. It was more spiked than that. Then I started being silly and redid it so it would be an Afro or a mullet or even a Mohawk. I caught myself laughing trying to picture it on Zim. Eventually, I put it back in the horrid fifties flip. He could fix it himself if he so desired.

Of course, when I returned from my study he was still staring out at the nothing outside. I couldn't help but look as well. It was too quiet in here.

" It's not raining today." I said, not really to anyone but myself.

Zim said nothing, as expected, and continued to gaze outside.

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger. I was actually trying to not beat his head into the window and he couldn't even say anything. I wanted to push him out the window and see if he'd react to that.

I forced that urge back down and just threw one of the contacts at his head.

At least I got an "Ow" out of him. He rubbed the back of his head and I forced myself to not smile at him. I tossed him the rest of the costume and turned around.

" Put it on." I ordered him, " We're going out."

The last thing I expected as I began to walk away was to have the disguise thrown back at me, hitting me pretty hard in the back of the head. I turned around to face not an angry glare, but an empty look from Zim.

" I'm not going." He said.

It was strange hearing his voice again, even if it crackled from lack of use.

" You're going because I said so." I told him, sounding a lot like a bossy child.

" I don't want to." Zim replied, not looking at me anymore.

" You wanted to last week." I pointed out.

" Last week I had a reason to." Zim hugged his knees and looked at the wall.

I knew I'd hit a nerve as soon as it came out of my mouth, but he hit one right back because he wasn't acting like himself. This wasn't Zim. This was somebody else, living in his skin and stealing his voice and making him act strange.

" Look," I said harshly, " I'm SORRY I helped kill off your race. It had to be done and if you can't deal with that then you can just go to-"

" That's not it."

Zim had said it so calmly that I had stopped in my furiously pacing tracks. I stared long and hard at him.

" What did you say?" I asked softly.

" I don't care that you killed them," He let one leg hang over and swing back and forth against the wall, " I…I sort of wanted them to die."

That was a shocker to me, " You…you wanted them dead?"

" Yes." Zim said, his eyes never leaving the wall, " I wanted them dead."

This was hard to believe. Even before The Impact he had always had such a glint in his eyes when he spoke of his homeland. There was always that spark. I couldn't believe it. He…he really wanted them all dead.

" Then…then what is it?" I asked, completely dumbfounded by this revelation.

" What's wrong, you mean?" He corrected me.

I didn't answer him, because I wasn't really sure myself.

" …They wanted me to die too." Zim said softly, hugging his knees tighter, " They sent me here because they wanted me to die."

No, no, this wasn't right. That couldn't be right. Did this mean that everything we had…everything we were…it was all a punishment? There wasn't ever going to be an invasion? Everything that had ever been us…all of the skoolyard chases and the water balloons and the saving the world…it was never real. It had almost been like some game.

" Then why did they come at all?" I asked him, confused.

" Certainly not for me." Zim laughed coldly, like I always did, " Knowing the Tallest, they probably thought it would be 'fun'. Just like they thought all of my transmissions were 'fun' and everything I said and did was 'funny' somehow."

I didn't say anything. There was nothing to be said. Zim's emotions seemed to radiate through the room, filling some sort of strange empathy for him. It enclosed us, smothering us until we would collapse.

" Everything I ever was…" Zim started, " Everything I've ever been is a lie."

The both of us were quiet for a few minutes, taking that all in. Everything that we had ever been, everything that had ever been us…it was all gone with that one statement. It was as though nothing we had ever said or did actually happened. There was no life before The Impact. There was only the ugly here and now.

Slowly, I smiled.

" Well…" I said, " You'll just have to start over again, won't you?"

Zim stared at me bewildered as I continued on.

" Come on." I said again, " We're going out."

" I don't want to." Zim reminded me.

" Which is why we're going." I said with a small smile, " Can't give you what you want now, can I? What kind of master would I be if I did that?"

He looked at me and cocked his head to one side, probably trying to discover why I was smiling. After a brief moment of confusion, he gave me a fake glare and I threw his costume at him. He picked up the wig and turned in carefully in his hands, examining it.

" …Was it really this…this…?" Zim started.

" Yeah, it really was that ugly." I finished for him.

Zim gave a small laugh and mussed it up at little before putting it on. I cautiously walked over to fix it a little for him. He let me without complaint. Zim really was acting differently…and I wasn't sure if I liked it.

Now, instead of having a flip, the wig had several smaller spikes everywhere. Zim made rather funny hissing noises and twitched while putting the contacts on. I couldn't help but snicker.

" Does it really hurt that much?" I asked him.

" Well…" Zim said in mid-squirm, " …They take some getting used to."

I rolled my eyes and turned around, heading for the closet. I reached carefully for something I never thought I would need, but would certainly come in handy that day.

" Oh Zim…" I called him.

" Yeah?" He replied, getting up off of the windowsill.

I turned around revealing my prize. It was a long purple leash that had been ransacked long ago. I could tell by the spark in his eyes that I had brought something back to him.

" N-NO!" He sneered angrily, " I'm NOT going to wear that…that THING!"

I reached back in the closet for the collar that had been abandoned long ago, saying, " What makes you think I'm giving you a choice?"

" But…BUT…"

I turned to face him and twirled the old familiar red collar around my finger.

" No buts." I said. " You're wearing it."

It looked like many thoughts (and probably many insults) were flowing through Zim's mind. Much to my displeasure however, he gave up on fighting me and let me slip the collar around his neck.

" Why do I need this anyway?" He asked me meekly.

I was surprised he bothered to ask, so I decided to grace him with the truth.

" It's a safety precaution." I said simply.

" But this disguise won't fool anybody anymore…" Zim started.

" It'll fool the people in the streets." I told him, " It's dangerous there. It's best to make sure they know ahead of time that you're mine. Otherwise they could do anything to you really. I know some that would even try to make a meal out of you."

I watched him grimace and I shrugged. All of it was true. If you couldn't defend yourself you were as good as dead out there. In Zim's current state, I wasn't sure if he could.

" And," I added as a second thought, " My colleagues will definitely be able to tell that you're Irken in a heartbeat. This will show that they aren't to touch you."

I traced the leash with weathered fingers all the way up to his neck.

" No…" I said, " You're mine."

I wasn't sure whether I was telling this to myself or to Zim, but it didn't matter. With a tug of the leash, we were on our way. The door was locked out of habit.

I watched Zim as he quietly observed his new surroundings. It was then realized that he had never been in the hallway before. It seemed like such an ordinary, every day thing, but for someone who has been locked away from the world for almost five years, it must be a big deal.

I let him go about his business, though I really wanted to tug on that leash and hurry him along. Ugly tan wallpaper really wasn't that amazing.

The elevators had long since stopped working, as had everything electrical in the apartment complex, so we began an escapade down three flights of stairs. Again, it was nothing out of the ordinary for me, but I think if I hadn't had Zim on a leash he would have run past me in excitement.

I still thought that the entire building had a haunting feel, but it didn't seem to bother Zim in the slightest. I wasn't very surprised either. He had never been concerned with things like ghosts and creatures of the night as I had been.

I nearly tripped when Zim stopped moving. He was staring longingly out the glass doors at the street. I recognized the look from somewhere before. Zim had always had that look on his face when I saw his reflection in the windowpane. Or when I caught him staring at the door when he was in that cage.

" …Ready to go?" I asked Zim out of the blue.

Zim looked stunned for a minute. Did he really expect me to take him this far, only to take him back to the apartment? …Considering previous behavior of mine, I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Then, his eyes seemed to sparkle for a moment. He looked like a kid in a candy store and I felt like a parent. He nodded more enthusiastically than I expected him to.

" Well then…" I smiled at him, " Let's go."

With those words we opened the doors to a new world for the both of us.

(A/N: And so ends another installment. Next chapter should be up fairly soon. Please R&R. : ) )