Dear SiriousB1,

I'm having trouble with women. They all think that I only want them for their bodies. Well, I do, but that's beside the point. They all say I'm a pervert (especially that one in the school girl uniform) but I argue that I'm just lonely. Do you know any sexy, single women who are looking for a man? Are you looking for a man?

Possibly Yours?
Sexy Monk of Your Dreams

Dear S.M. of Y.D.

::sweatdrop:: Well, I'm a little preoccupied with drooling over a certain suave kitsune from another anime show, but I do believe that my friend Spidee could give you all she's got!

Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Dear SiriousB1.

My older sister was in love with this one guy. But then he betrayed her or something and she put a spell on an arrow that went through his chest therefore pinning him to a tree. My sister happened to die, as well. I was pretty young then, like 10 or something, and it has been 50 years. Now he is back because the arrow was removed. And, since I am more mature, I think that I see why she liked him. He's so dreamy! It looks like he hasn't aged a day! But now my sister has been reincarnated in the same form that she was when she died and there is this other chick from the future and she is pretty too. How can I get him to notice me when he is constantly surrounded by those girls?

Cordially,

One-Eyed Wonder

Dear O.-E. W.

Make-up will do wonders. And I also suggest that you use anti-wrinkle cream. Actually, I don't suggest that you use it. You're like 60 now and if he is the same as he was before he must appear to be in his 20's or something. I regret to inform you that dating him would appear like rape. Not that rape isn't an option, but I don't want to be blamed for the consequences so DON'T rape him. Besides, a 60-year-old woman screwing someone 40 years younger is just wrong.

Sincerely,

SiriousB1

Thank you to D.G. and Crew for this question and character.

Dear SiriousB1,

I have an evil tendency to kill things and I like to mess with peoples' heads, control people and I'm obsessed with collecting all the shards of a broken marble. What can I do to break these bad habits, O wise one?

Yours Truly,

Not a Human, Not yet a Demon

Dear Cheesy Remake of a Crappy Brittany Spears Song,

Are you sure you're in the right Anime? I'd swear that you seem almost precisely like Mr. Bluesummers in Trigun. Whatever. To stop taking over other people's minds and bodies, I suggest that you lock yourself in a room for a very long time while away from any sort of living organism. This solitude could possibly get you immune to being alone and you won't be as willing to manipulate and kill people. If that doesn't work, I hear that Jerry Springer is having a good run this season. As for this "marble", go to K-Mart and buy a new one. I'm sure that they put something in their "marbles" to turn them into magical jewels that make everyone want them to become stronger. Then you'll have a brand new "marble/jewel" thing all to yourself. Just don't drop the fucking thing...

Sincerely,

SiriousB1