Chapter XVII: The girl in the padded room.
Ruler. God. King.
She was everything... she was all...
They look at her from afar. They do not understand. Everything came to be as it should have. They gaze at her with intrigue and doubt in their minds. He cuts through them and walks towards her. The room is small. Not much larger than your average hospital room.
He steps in and orders them out of the room. He's fearful. His hands are soaked in sweat, trembling dramatically. He walks up to her and says her name. She doesn't respond. She scratches the wall, crouched in the corner, her head twitching sporadically. He crouches in front of her and holds her hands but she refuses to look at him. His eyes are slowly overflowing with tears of joy and doubt and fear. His lips tremble, desperately seeking her answers. He says her name again... she doesn't respond.
Illyria awakens in the laboratory in Wolfram & Hart. She looks at her arms and she's confined to the table. A man wearing a lab coat approaches her. He tells her that it is too soon to be out and about, but patience is lacking and she strips the shackles that confine her. She sits up on the table and drops to the ground. As her feet make contact with the floor, she feels as if she's rapidly sinking. She looks around but the world looks differently than before. More hollow and dark, yet bigger... somehow. The man in the coat conveys to her a message from his leader. He tells her that she is to stay in the lab until he can come for her. Illyria dismisses the comment and leaves in search for answers.
Silence...
Two days have passed since she fought him...
Wesley's standing outside a room looking at her from the cover of a large bullet-proof, one-way window. She stands around the room awkwardly. She holds her hands up to her neck and attempts to walk. Her legs give every four steps. She's like a child and he watches over her... looking out for her, observing her, analyzing her. Spike walks behind him and looks at her over his shoulder.
Spike: (steps beside him) "What do you think she's thinking about?"
Wes: "Probably nothing. Her mind seems to be... jumbled at best. Every thought she ever processed is rushing through her mind at an incredible rate. I don't think she can pick one out of the den."
Spike: (puts his hands against the glass) "I can't believe it... it's just..."
Wes: "It'll take time to get used to."
Spike: "To what? Seeing her act like a bloody retard?!?"
Wesley shuts his eyes. He backs down and sits in a couch that's been put behind them for a more comfortable experience in observation.
Spike: (voice breaking, looking at her) "What the hell did you do to her?"
Wes: (with disbelief in his voice) "I had... I brought her back to me, Spike"
Spike: "How?"
Wes: "Illyria."
Spike turns around and looks at him angrily in the eye.
Wes: (voice breaking) "Why didn't it work?"
Spike: "Tell me... everything. Or I swear I'll tear you to pieces before you can even blink an eye."
Wes: (looks at him sharply, eyes welled up) "I... yes... you deserve to know."
He lies back on the couch and then leans forward again, trying to find a more suitable position. He takes a breath then looks back at Spike.
Wes: "After I lost Fred, I lost my mind. I couldn't think. I couldn't sleep. Everything... reminded me of her."
He pauses and looks at her. She's standing inches away from the glass looking at it with dead eyes. He looks into hers and then chokes s he tries to take another deep breath.
Wes: (cont.) "I became... obsessed, at best, with Illyria. She was... fascinating, to say the least." (pauses) "As the weeks passed I became increasingly aware of how easily affected she was by my words. She developed certain questionable character traits that seemed highly unlikely for a being of her stature."
Spike: "Yeah, we all noticed that. What's it got to do with this?"
Wes: "When I first heard that Fred's soul was destroyed I took it to heart. You felt it too. The emptiness inside Illyria. You don't need heightened senses to know that. But after the incident with Cyvus Vail, Dr. Sparrow's words got me thinking. He said that Fred's souls was--"
Spike: "--consumed by the fires of resurrection."
Wes: "He said that everything of hers was gone, but he never said it was destroyed. Matter cannot be destroyed, only transformed. It's one of the principal laws of physics and the Universe."
Spike looks at him with confusion. He turns around and sees her standing in front of the wall at the opposite end of the room, looking at the roof. Her legs tremble underneath the hospital clothes she's wearing.
Wes: (cont.) "After what happened with Vail, many things came to me. Reality was twisted yet again and many truths that had been locked away came back. Illyria's increasing respect and admiration for me was turning into affection. Case in point her transformation into Fred during the Burkles visit to Wolfram & Hart."
Spike: "I thought that was like a veil or something. A, what do you call it? A... glamour."
Wes: "So did I, but the manipulation of her dormant memories of Fred, as well as changing her form to hers, allowed for Fred to take over her."
Spike: (confused) "Fred?"
Wes: "A soul is matter, Spike. And matter cannot be destroyed. What Dr. Sparrow's words meant was that her soul had merged with Illyria's. It was sacrificed so that Illyria's essence could take form of its own. But the strain of learning that her followers were all dead, and eventually losing most of her strength and powers allowed for her to view the World from a more humane perspective. Making her want to be human."
Spike: "Are you telling me that Fred's soul's been inside Blue all this long?"
Wes: "Yes... everything that was Fred is Illyria's. Her emotions, her thoughts, her ideas, her feelings. Her soul."
Spike turns towards Fred and sees her crouched on the ground, bobbing her head slowly.
Spike: (points towards her) "How did this happen?"
Wes: (stands up and remains beside him) "The research I did on Illyria was quite extensive. I found a way to strip the soul out from Illyria without damaging it. Unfortunately, the influence it had on her remains impregnated in her. She retains everything."
Spike: "Played Solomon with a soul instead of a baby... takes balls."
Wes: (looks at him, then back at Fred) "In order to get the soul out we had to incapacitate Illyria. Unfortunately she would've been extremely reluctant to allow for this to happen willingly, so I had to find a way to get it out of her without her knowing."
Spike: (looks at him sharply) "Norin."
Wes: "After Angel sacrificed himself to the Senior Partners, I realized that a great chaos was to come. Balance had to be attained. I remembered stories at the Watcher's Council when I was seven years old. During the retreats I would sneak into the older kids' cabin and listen to their stories. One such story was the one of the Death Dealer. After that I researched it extensively during my free-time, but school work took priority so I eventually stopped." (realizing his off-topic he shrugs and continues) "Anyway, after Order lost one of its greatest warriors, the Arathma'aet is brought forth to wipe the slate clean... bring the world back into balance."
Spike: "You knew he would attack Illyria since it smelled 'Old One' all over her, didn't you?"
Wes: (reluctantly) "Yes."
Spike: (looking at Fred) "What about her?"
Wes: "Her body was... cloned, I guess is the right word."
Spike: "Where did you get the--?"
Wes: "From the lab. From when she was shot last year."
Spike leans forward. He sees her lying on the floor, wiping it with her hands. He closes his eyes and chokes back the tears.
Spike: "What about Lindsey?"
Wes: (breathes deeply) "After he took over Wolfram & Hart, I approached him about this. He agreed to do it on the condition that I help him with a problem of his own."
Spike: "And that may be?"
Wes: "Senior Partners erased his memories when they took him away. He wants the information he had back. I agreed to help him get it back if he did this for me."
Spike: (taps the wall as he leans against it) "And her? How long till she gets back on track?"
Wes: "It's very hard to say. Lindsey had her body in cryogenic stasis, until we had Illyria in to extract the soul. She should've just come back." (voice breaks) "I don't... I don't--"
Spike: "I do."
Wesley looks at Spike just as he clobbers him with his right fist. He tumbles to the ground and Spike picks him back up. He punches him in the face again and Wes falls on the couch.
Spike: (sharply, but without shouting) "I know why this didn't work. It's not your bloody right to go behind our backs the way you did. You wanted her back, but you forgot to take into account every other sod that loved her as well, you stupid, pathetic, candy-ass." (points to Fred, tears running down his cheeks) "This is what you got for messing with things you had no right for. You got her back... just to suffer as a drooling carrot." (pauses) "I would kill you right were you are, but for her sake I won't. I just hope Illyria can take this as well as me."
He walks away leaving Wesley to pick himself back up. He sits and sees her lying on the floor and tears fill his eyes. He breathes deeply, regretting everything that has happened, praying desperately for her to come back to him. He stands up and walks away towards the glass and leans against it, when he feels her behind him. He stands erect and turns around, meeting her baby blue eyes as he turns his gaze.
-- Fin.
Ruler. God. King.
She was everything... she was all...
They look at her from afar. They do not understand. Everything came to be as it should have. They gaze at her with intrigue and doubt in their minds. He cuts through them and walks towards her. The room is small. Not much larger than your average hospital room.
He steps in and orders them out of the room. He's fearful. His hands are soaked in sweat, trembling dramatically. He walks up to her and says her name. She doesn't respond. She scratches the wall, crouched in the corner, her head twitching sporadically. He crouches in front of her and holds her hands but she refuses to look at him. His eyes are slowly overflowing with tears of joy and doubt and fear. His lips tremble, desperately seeking her answers. He says her name again... she doesn't respond.
Illyria awakens in the laboratory in Wolfram & Hart. She looks at her arms and she's confined to the table. A man wearing a lab coat approaches her. He tells her that it is too soon to be out and about, but patience is lacking and she strips the shackles that confine her. She sits up on the table and drops to the ground. As her feet make contact with the floor, she feels as if she's rapidly sinking. She looks around but the world looks differently than before. More hollow and dark, yet bigger... somehow. The man in the coat conveys to her a message from his leader. He tells her that she is to stay in the lab until he can come for her. Illyria dismisses the comment and leaves in search for answers.
Silence...
Two days have passed since she fought him...
Wesley's standing outside a room looking at her from the cover of a large bullet-proof, one-way window. She stands around the room awkwardly. She holds her hands up to her neck and attempts to walk. Her legs give every four steps. She's like a child and he watches over her... looking out for her, observing her, analyzing her. Spike walks behind him and looks at her over his shoulder.
Spike: (steps beside him) "What do you think she's thinking about?"
Wes: "Probably nothing. Her mind seems to be... jumbled at best. Every thought she ever processed is rushing through her mind at an incredible rate. I don't think she can pick one out of the den."
Spike: (puts his hands against the glass) "I can't believe it... it's just..."
Wes: "It'll take time to get used to."
Spike: "To what? Seeing her act like a bloody retard?!?"
Wesley shuts his eyes. He backs down and sits in a couch that's been put behind them for a more comfortable experience in observation.
Spike: (voice breaking, looking at her) "What the hell did you do to her?"
Wes: (with disbelief in his voice) "I had... I brought her back to me, Spike"
Spike: "How?"
Wes: "Illyria."
Spike turns around and looks at him angrily in the eye.
Wes: (voice breaking) "Why didn't it work?"
Spike: "Tell me... everything. Or I swear I'll tear you to pieces before you can even blink an eye."
Wes: (looks at him sharply, eyes welled up) "I... yes... you deserve to know."
He lies back on the couch and then leans forward again, trying to find a more suitable position. He takes a breath then looks back at Spike.
Wes: "After I lost Fred, I lost my mind. I couldn't think. I couldn't sleep. Everything... reminded me of her."
He pauses and looks at her. She's standing inches away from the glass looking at it with dead eyes. He looks into hers and then chokes s he tries to take another deep breath.
Wes: (cont.) "I became... obsessed, at best, with Illyria. She was... fascinating, to say the least." (pauses) "As the weeks passed I became increasingly aware of how easily affected she was by my words. She developed certain questionable character traits that seemed highly unlikely for a being of her stature."
Spike: "Yeah, we all noticed that. What's it got to do with this?"
Wes: "When I first heard that Fred's soul was destroyed I took it to heart. You felt it too. The emptiness inside Illyria. You don't need heightened senses to know that. But after the incident with Cyvus Vail, Dr. Sparrow's words got me thinking. He said that Fred's souls was--"
Spike: "--consumed by the fires of resurrection."
Wes: "He said that everything of hers was gone, but he never said it was destroyed. Matter cannot be destroyed, only transformed. It's one of the principal laws of physics and the Universe."
Spike looks at him with confusion. He turns around and sees her standing in front of the wall at the opposite end of the room, looking at the roof. Her legs tremble underneath the hospital clothes she's wearing.
Wes: (cont.) "After what happened with Vail, many things came to me. Reality was twisted yet again and many truths that had been locked away came back. Illyria's increasing respect and admiration for me was turning into affection. Case in point her transformation into Fred during the Burkles visit to Wolfram & Hart."
Spike: "I thought that was like a veil or something. A, what do you call it? A... glamour."
Wes: "So did I, but the manipulation of her dormant memories of Fred, as well as changing her form to hers, allowed for Fred to take over her."
Spike: (confused) "Fred?"
Wes: "A soul is matter, Spike. And matter cannot be destroyed. What Dr. Sparrow's words meant was that her soul had merged with Illyria's. It was sacrificed so that Illyria's essence could take form of its own. But the strain of learning that her followers were all dead, and eventually losing most of her strength and powers allowed for her to view the World from a more humane perspective. Making her want to be human."
Spike: "Are you telling me that Fred's soul's been inside Blue all this long?"
Wes: "Yes... everything that was Fred is Illyria's. Her emotions, her thoughts, her ideas, her feelings. Her soul."
Spike turns towards Fred and sees her crouched on the ground, bobbing her head slowly.
Spike: (points towards her) "How did this happen?"
Wes: (stands up and remains beside him) "The research I did on Illyria was quite extensive. I found a way to strip the soul out from Illyria without damaging it. Unfortunately, the influence it had on her remains impregnated in her. She retains everything."
Spike: "Played Solomon with a soul instead of a baby... takes balls."
Wes: (looks at him, then back at Fred) "In order to get the soul out we had to incapacitate Illyria. Unfortunately she would've been extremely reluctant to allow for this to happen willingly, so I had to find a way to get it out of her without her knowing."
Spike: (looks at him sharply) "Norin."
Wes: "After Angel sacrificed himself to the Senior Partners, I realized that a great chaos was to come. Balance had to be attained. I remembered stories at the Watcher's Council when I was seven years old. During the retreats I would sneak into the older kids' cabin and listen to their stories. One such story was the one of the Death Dealer. After that I researched it extensively during my free-time, but school work took priority so I eventually stopped." (realizing his off-topic he shrugs and continues) "Anyway, after Order lost one of its greatest warriors, the Arathma'aet is brought forth to wipe the slate clean... bring the world back into balance."
Spike: "You knew he would attack Illyria since it smelled 'Old One' all over her, didn't you?"
Wes: (reluctantly) "Yes."
Spike: (looking at Fred) "What about her?"
Wes: "Her body was... cloned, I guess is the right word."
Spike: "Where did you get the--?"
Wes: "From the lab. From when she was shot last year."
Spike leans forward. He sees her lying on the floor, wiping it with her hands. He closes his eyes and chokes back the tears.
Spike: "What about Lindsey?"
Wes: (breathes deeply) "After he took over Wolfram & Hart, I approached him about this. He agreed to do it on the condition that I help him with a problem of his own."
Spike: "And that may be?"
Wes: "Senior Partners erased his memories when they took him away. He wants the information he had back. I agreed to help him get it back if he did this for me."
Spike: (taps the wall as he leans against it) "And her? How long till she gets back on track?"
Wes: "It's very hard to say. Lindsey had her body in cryogenic stasis, until we had Illyria in to extract the soul. She should've just come back." (voice breaks) "I don't... I don't--"
Spike: "I do."
Wesley looks at Spike just as he clobbers him with his right fist. He tumbles to the ground and Spike picks him back up. He punches him in the face again and Wes falls on the couch.
Spike: (sharply, but without shouting) "I know why this didn't work. It's not your bloody right to go behind our backs the way you did. You wanted her back, but you forgot to take into account every other sod that loved her as well, you stupid, pathetic, candy-ass." (points to Fred, tears running down his cheeks) "This is what you got for messing with things you had no right for. You got her back... just to suffer as a drooling carrot." (pauses) "I would kill you right were you are, but for her sake I won't. I just hope Illyria can take this as well as me."
He walks away leaving Wesley to pick himself back up. He sits and sees her lying on the floor and tears fill his eyes. He breathes deeply, regretting everything that has happened, praying desperately for her to come back to him. He stands up and walks away towards the glass and leans against it, when he feels her behind him. He stands erect and turns around, meeting her baby blue eyes as he turns his gaze.
-- Fin.