Hi-ho! Yes we are putting up another chapter! In case you haven't noticed, I, Belzon, am typing this time! Woot!

We here at BO Studios realize that we own nothing, and true ownership comes from knowing that you own nothing. Be that as it may, we still don't own anything mentioned within this chapter except for the chapter itself.

Authors' note: All misspelled words are that way on purpose, i.e.,

-Link wakes up laying on the deck, with the hideous visage of Niko screaming at him.

Niko: HEY YOU FILTHY, SLIMY MAGGOT! YOU DON'T GET TO REST! YOU VACUOUS, TOFFEE-NOSED, MALODOROUS PERVERT!

Link: I'm awake, you godforsaken worthless piece of butt sausage!

Niko: runs away crying

Gonzo: He made his superior cry!

Tetra: Promotion.

Link: Sweet.

Tetra: Not really. You still don't get a brush; but on the good side, you don't have to swab the deck.

Link: Hooray!

Tetra: Now you go up to the bow and swab the jardines.

Footnote: In the days of old, the crapper was located at the front of the ship, hence the modern nautical term the head instead of the bathroom. Originally just holes that overlooked the waves below, pirates nicknamed these crapholes the French word for

Link: Do you mean sardines? Those little bitty fishies? How in the heck'm I supposed to swab those?!

Tetra: It's the head, you goon!

Link: This is a boat, it ain't got a head! Well, my boat had a head, anyways...

Gonzo: She means the toilets.

Link: YOU SICKO! Ugh! I'm supposed to swab those with my BARE HANDS?!

Tetra: Dear goddesses no! We're not that cruel, we at least give you a stick.

Link: receives his stick Whoopee...

Tetra: Better not lose it, that's the only one we got.

Link: ...I deplore you...

-Now at the bow, Link begins to clean the jardines as best he can with his insipid stick.

Link: Well, at least I have a stick...

little fishy: jumps up and snatches the stick from his grasp

Link: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Gonzo: Hey there Lump. pulls down his pants and takes a jardine

Link: Hey, I just cleaned that one!

Gonzo: Yeah, and I couldn't appreciate that more. (quietly) I only use them when they're clean. It's been a week, too, so you may want to hold your nose and run.

Link: Um... okay? runs to the poop deck

Footnote: For those of you who don't know, the poop deck is the raised platform at the butt end of a ship.

Mungo: Heeeeeeg! Skim milk is devil satan! Blow up fishys, make beevur into complete balanced breakfast!

Nerdo: Oh no... Mungo's frisky today.

Mungo: breaks out of chains BATHTUB SHITTER! MAKE FOSSIL POO PASTA!

Link: What the whizz... no, NO! PUT ME DOWN! HELP HELP!!

Mungo: HEEN! stuffs Link down pants MUNGO TOO SEXY FOR BOXES!

Tetra: Someone, get the darts!

Mungo: PEEPS POWER PANTS! YOUSE ALL IS BUMS!

Tetra: aiming blowgun Hold still, you! fires

Mungo: OUW! YOO ROOIND A PURFIKTLY GEWD BABY! AH YELL! passes out

Gonzo: frees Link Are you okay?

Link: Oh, yes, perfectly. I've just been SHOVED DOWN SOME FILTHY LUMMOX'S PANTS! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?! SERIOUSLY, TELL ME, BECAUSE I FEEL JUST FEKKIN' FINE! shot with dart ow... passes out

-a few hours later...

Tetra: Hey stupid, get your ass up! dumps a bucket of fish on Link's face

Link: AAGH I'M DROWNDING!... Um, hi.

Tetra: We've spotted a ship and we're gonna sack it. Also, since you've survived Mungo's you've been promoted to powder monkey.

Link: Does that mean I get access to your dressing room? ;)

Tetra: clubs Link with her pistol No you dumb ass, you go fetch powder for the cannons! Get your ass to the storeroom and keep the artillery goin'!

-some moments later...

Gonzo: Oh good, the powder monkey's here! Did you get the stuff?

Link: collapses under a heap of powder charges

Gonzo: Damn he's a good powder monkey.

Nerdo: Load the charge!

Gonzo: Got it!

Nerdo: Load the bomb!

Niko: Got it!

Nerdo: pricks the charge and inserts the fuse

Tetra: yelling thru a pipe Fire warning shot!

Gonzo: Aye, aye! lights the fuse You might want to move, kid.

Link: Huh?

cannon: BOOM! speeds backwards towards Link

Link: Eep! gets crushed against the wall

-meanwhile, abovedecks...

Tetra: screaming at the other ship Hey! Send out a representative!

French sailor: stands up from behind a gunwale Oui?

Tetra: Cooperate and you will be spared! Resist and you will perish!

French sailor: Quoi? Ah, oui! You are, how you say... pirates?

Tetra: Bingo.

French sailor: Well, go away! We don't like no stinking stupid pirate-types, and we'll never give you our smelly French cargo!

Tetra: We won't hesitate to capture you and sell you as slaves, you know that?

French sailor: Ah don't wanna talk to you no more, filthy animal food-trough wiper! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Tetra: Well... I... starts crying

random lackey: Oh, great. comforts Tetra I hope you're happy, you filthy frog! Both her parents died years ago when she was just little!

French sailor: Oh, really? Zat is so sad, I am sorry, little madamoiselle. Here, would you feel better if you were to take our treasure?

Tetra: (quietly) Bingo. sniffles O-okay. Thank you.

-a few minutes later...

Link: (whose head is bandaged quite a bit) Cool, so they just gave it up?

Tetra: flipping a gold coin Yeah, those frogs are softies for a damsel in distress. Alright, come get your shares, you scurvy, scoundrelly scalliwags!

Link: Jeez, you pirates sure like making alliterations.

Tetra: You kiddin'? It's one of our favorite pastimes!

Gonzo: to Niko You stinky, stupid, stumpy stool!

Niko: to Mungo You big, baggy bloke!

Mungo: to his reflection Yoo pretty, powerful, piquant pirate! Mmm... pecans.

Link: Let me try... you damn, dumb, daft dorks!

all: turn and look at Link

Gonzo: Okay, that was just kinda mean.

Link: to Tetra You bossy, bitchy, bodacious babe!

all: turn and look at Link

Tetra: Okay, that was better, but you're goin' to the brig.

Gonzo: We don't have a brig.

Tetra: Then throw him in the laundry room.

Nerdo: We don't have one. We just slap our clothes repeatedly on the side of the ship.

Tetra: ...Well, then slap him like a filthy pair of pants.

Gonzo: Aye, sir!

Tetra: Let Mungo do it.

Mungo: Yaaaay laundry! claps

-later, abovedecks...

Mungo: Laundry! slap Laundry! slap Laundry! slap

Tetra: Okay, I think he's had enough for one chapter. Tune in next time for another!

Mungo: Same laundry slapping place, same laundry slapping time! Yay, laundry! slap

Link: Don't forget to review on your way out! slap AAAAHAHAHAUUGH!!