Another day, another chapter. Ho hum.

We at BO Studios do not own any characters or anything else mentioned within this story other than Mungo and Mr. Cactus.

last time...

Link: THE PICTOGRAPH GUY IS MY GRAMPA!

Tetra: cleaning her axpoon You already said that.

Gonzo: My god, Miss Tetra! This is a picture of you...

Tetra: Give it me!

Niko: Oh, gross!

Mr. Cactus: I say, that's indecent!

Mungo: Gold digging!

Nerdo: Oh ish, she's picking her nose!

Tetra: snatches the picture I had an itch, for crying out loud!

Link: looks at the picture Looks like you were going for the mother lode, huh?

Tetra: Shut the hell up! Anyway, I bet there's at least one of each of us in this pile.

Gonzo: picks up another picture Niko! It was you who peed on my ice cream! I'll KILL you!!!! strangles Niko

Tetra: All right, all right, no fighting unless bets are made first, you know that! Put him down!

Link: I'm gonna go kick that guy in the shins for making my grandma be a single mother! runs away

Tetra: Watch the gunwale.

Link: The what?

Tetra: That short wall that keeps you from falling overboard.

Link: Whoops! splash I'm okay.

Mungo: Lookie lookie, a funny hairy fishy!

Link: Shut up you goon and find a rope.

-later that day, back in Windfall...

Link: walks into Lenzo's studio Hello?

Lenzo: Oh, hi, kid! Got any new pictographs?

Link: Just one. hands over a picture of his grandma

Lenzo: Why, this little old lady looks strangely familiar...

Link: She should, you asshole! kicks Lenzo in the kneecap

Lenzo: Ow, my brittle old man kneecap!

-back on the boat...

Tetra: You hear that?

Nerdo: Sounded like an old man being beaten up.

-back in the town...

Link: hitting Lenzo with a stick You are a bad man!

Lenzo: What did I do, what did I do?!

Link: You made my Grandma a single mother! continues with the stick

Lenzo: ...Oh, so she's your grandmother? Huzzah! I have an heir to my legacy!

Link: Your legacy?! Dude, you sit around all day puttering with cameras! You have no life!

Lenzo: Wait, wait, not the stick! If you could provide me and all my stuff with transportation to Outset, I would reward you handsomely.

Link: Handsomely, you say?...

-Later, on Outset

Granny: Oh, Lenzo! It's you!

Lenzo: Yes, love, I've returned! I'm so sorry I wa- OOF!

Granny: flip-jumps back after kung-fu kicking Lenzo in the gut THAT'S for leaving!

Lenzo: kicked again UGH!

Granny: And THAT'S for not coming back til now!

Link: Jeez Grandma, where'd you learn that?!

Granny: Well, I dated Orca once, but he was an asshole.

Link: Oh.

Lenzo: I... I don't understand...

Granny: What, that I don't love you? I still love you. I'm just pissed at you.

Lenzo: Oog...

Granny: Aryll, do you want to hit him for me?

Aryll: Sure! beats Lenzo with her telescope

Lenzo: Ow, my brittle old man hip!

Granny: Okay, he's forgiven now.

-Back on the high seas, me boyos!

Tetra: speaking quietly with Mr. Cactus So, where's this postman live again? And how will we meet him in secret?

Mr. Cactus: Dragon Roost Island, and I sent him a little postcard with a request on it.

-Elsewhere

Quill (you know, the Rito postman who helps Link): Hm. Meet us (alone) at the broken ship outside the Forsaken Fortress, or we'll send out the pictures. What pictures, you ask? Why, this very postcard is a copy of one of my personal favorites. What's that mean? turns postcard over, looks at picture OH GOD, THEY SAW THAT?! Must be blackmailing me... filthy scoundrels, I'll tear them apart!

-On the ship

Mr. Cactus: Why, by my estimate, the winged bloke ought to have received it nigh a few seconds ago.

Tetra: That's good. Men, set a course for the Forsaken Fortress.

All: GASP

Tetra: Oh come on, it's abandoned.

-At the Forsaken Fortress (at night)

Tetra: ... and hide the ship behind the wreckage, for crying out loud!

Mr. Cactus: Miss Tetra, I believe it time to don our disguises. puts on Groucho glasses

Tetra: Right, right. does same

Quill: flies in and lands, also wearing Groucho glasses Miss Tetra!? You're the blackmailer?

Tetra: Shit, he recognized me! GET IM!!!!

Mr. Cactus: YEEARGHBLE! tackles Quill

Tetra: Men, stuff him in the sack and knock him out! By the time he wakes up, I want to be far from here. Oh, and take all his money.

-Tetra's cabin

Tetra: Well, that sucked. closes door Man, I'm bushed... gotta–YAWN–get into bed before I fall over. changes Hello, bed. flops ... I sense a disturbance in the room. looks over at wall Did that picture just... blink? Wait, I don't have a picture there! hurls axpoon

Picture: Augh... falls down, revealing little eyeholes in the wall

Shady figure behind wall: Crap, she saw me! sounds of running

Tetra: bursts out of cabin CODE 37! CODE 37! SOMEONE PEEPED AT ME FROM BEHIND THE WALL! pirates scramble I feel so... so violated!

Nerdo: Find him!

Gonzo & that bearded guy: Aye, aye!

Gonzo: Get the net!

Amish-beard pirate: Okay!

Niko: He's over here!

Ugly sideburn pirate: No, he's over there!

Link: No! He's there! points at a barrel

pirates: surround barrel and approach slowly

barrel: attempts to shuffle away

Tetra: Oh, no ya don't!

Stupid-hair pirate: lifts barrel

Link: It's... it's YOU!!

Tingle: Oh dear, you caught me, Mr. Fairy!

Link: stabs Tingle I HAVE A NAME, RETARD!

Tingle: Ooh dear me! Mr. Fairy, why did you stab me?!

Link: You spied on mah lady-friend!

Tetra: Why, Tingle?!

Tingle: You stole my collection of pictographs!

Tetra: We're pirates. It's what we do.

Link: Yeah, you little alien-eyed, slave-driving freak!

Tetra: Someone tie him up. I think we found a new piece of bait, don't you know...

Link: You vile, verminous, villainous vagabond!

pirates: Aye, captain!

Gonzo: Hey kid, you're gettin' pretty good at that.

Link: You think? to Tingle You backward, beetleheaded, blockish bastard!

sideburn pirate: Damn he's good.

-To be continued! Next time, MORE alliteration! Same blackmail time, same blackmail URL!

Review or Belzon may just find it necessary to swallow your soul!
...Heck, what do we mean may? He WILL swallow your soul!