All rights reserved, no characters owned cept the cactus and Mungo. Blah.

-Link, not having slept in days, is slowly nearing his goal in the freezer

Link: sorting chunks from a master pile into two different piles The pile is so small now... I think this is Niko... this is Nudge... Nudge... Niko... Nudge...

Flying cupcake: spits tobacco over Link's head Hey, kid, why're ya takin' orders from that girl?

Link: Because I owe her.

Mr. Cupcake: But who says you owe her anything?

Link: She does.

Mr. Cupcake: spits And who else? Way I see it, you've done your part. She's the one who owes you.

Link: Hey, you know what? You're right! I'm bigger than her, too! She can't boss me around like that!

Mr. Cupcake: That's right, kid! Go beat her up!

Link: YEAH! ...Wait, that'd be mean.

Mr. Cupcake: But she's been mean to you!

Link: Oh yeah. continues sorting piles

Mr. Cupcake: Hey, I said go beat her up!

Link: But I'm not done yet.

Mr. Cupcake: spits Don't you worry about that... I'll take care of it.

Link: Yay! Thanks, chum!

Mr. Cupcake: DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Link: Jeez, sorry!

-On deck

Tetra: shouting out orders

Link: emerges HISSSS! eyes adjust Hey, where's Tetra?

Mako: Up there... JEEZ-ASS, LINK! You look like you haven't slept in days!

Link: I haven't. I could start carrying rupees in the bags under my eyes. goes up behind Tetra and smacks the back of her head

Tetra: Hey, what was that for?!

Link: I don't owe you no nothin'!

Tetra: Huh?

Link: hits Tetra

Tetra: aghast Your grandma always said never to hit girls right?

Link: Yeah?

Tetra: Ever ask her why?

Link: No, why?

Tetra: smashes Link through a pile of bricks Because girls hit a lot harder.

-Several hours later...

Link: wakes up yawn Oh man, what just happened?

Gonzo: You hit Tetra and she, uh...

Senza: ...Smashed your head.

Link: Really? Say, could one a' you do that again? That was the best sleep I had in weeks.

Mako: Actually, it wasn't so much as it was near coma.

Link: ...Well it was the best I had in weeks, and I'll give you twenty rupees to do it again.

Gonzo & Senza: simultaneously Sweet! grab big hammers

Mako: Stop! Doing that again could kill him!

Niko & Nudge: walk into the room like zombies Ugh...

Gonzo: Oh, there you guys are. What the hell have you two been doing?

Niko: steals Mako's glasses

Nudge: drops bricks on Gonzo's head

Link: Hey, why'd you do that?

Mr. Cupcake: I convinced them to help you. spits Now, my minions, get the rest of the crew out of our way!

Link: Hey, I don't wanna hit Tetra no more. Why do you wanna do it anyway, chum?

Mr. Cupcake: I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Link: I don't like you no more! runs above deck Tetra! Tetra!

Tetra: What? What?

Link: There's a evil tobacco-spitting flying cupcake what wants me to beat you up a lot!

Tetra: I know.

Link: And... you do?

Tetra: I went to have my fortune told today, and they told me all about it.

Link: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You believe in that poo?

Tetra: I've got a book full of you in the same place.

Link: Yeah? Well, uh... shut up.

-The next morning

Link: on his belly under a bush So you're sure it's in there? And why are you laying on me like I'm a beach towel?

Tetra: laying on Link like he's a beach towel Yes, my magic map says that's the cupcake's HQ. And I don't want to get dirty.

Link: You realize people might take pictures of this, right?

-elsewhere...

Lenzo: Oh, that's so adorable. I'll take a picture and show my honey.

-back under the bush...

Tetra: So? I have the perfect idea to get in there, and once we get through with that cupcake, nobody'll want to bad-mouth me!

Link: Whatever. sneaks into the cupcake's HQ

-inside...

Tetra: This place seems familiar...

Link: It's Zunari's house?!

Tetra: How do you know?

Link: Look in the closet. shows Tetra a closet full of blue parkas

Tetra: It is his house! Ooh, when I get through with that little...

Zunari: So I see you have found me.

Tetra: You dirty little... unsheathes axpoon

Zunari: I wouldn't suggest that! Since last we met I have become more powerful than you could possibly imagine!

disembodied voice: Kill them! Kill them!

Zunari: In a moment, master. Let us toy with them first before we do that.

master: Yes, a splendid idea! Kooloo-limpah!

Link: YOU!! draws sword and looks around But you got eated by that shark!

Tingle: Yes, but not killed. Nothing can kill me! Turn around.

Link: turns around

Tingle: No, not you!!

Zunari: Oh, right. That. turns around and takes off his hood

-As Zunari lowers his hood, Link and Tetra are overcome in horror as they discover Tingle's face on the back of Zunari's head, somewhat like what's-his-nuts in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (which we don't own).

Tingle: Mr. Fairy! Tetra! Good to see you again! Kooloo-limpah!

Tetra: behind Link, clutching his shoulders and looking away Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

Link: That is soooooo nasty! throws sword through Tingle's face

Tingle: EEEEEEEEEEEEH MY FACE! IT'S BUSTED!

Zunari: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH MY BRAIN! IT'S SCRAMBLED!

Link: EEEEEEEEEEH MY EARS! THEY'RE BLEEDING!

Tetra: holding her foot EEEEEEEEEEEEH MY TOE! IT'S STUBBED!

Lenzo: taking pictures of the whole thing lens breaks EEEEEEEEEH MY LENS! IT'S BROKEN!

Person outside: EEEEEEEEEEEEH MY CAT! IT'S STUCK!

Cat in tree: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW! MEOW MREW MEW!

-Later, back on the ship

Link: Hey, cool! Snow thingies!

Tetra: sees Rito in sky dropping flyers That's not snow.

Flyer: blows in on wind

Tetra: OH MY GOD THEY SAW ME LAYING ON YOU LIKE THAT AND TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY!

Link: What's wrong?

Tetra: shows Link the picture

Link: So? It's not like there's any more copies.

Hundreds of copies what fall on Link in a pile: BLAM!

Link: Help! Help help! Help! HEEEEELP!

Tetra: They're heading for every island in the known world!

-To be continued!