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-And now, the continuation of the last chapter

Link: under a heaping... um... heap of fliers So what? pulls out It's not like anyone really cares.

Chart-painting fish man: looks at flier OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I KNEW THEY WERE UP TO SOMETHING!

Link: Okay, nobody important really cares.

-Dragon Roost Island

Valoo: dons giant reading glasses reads laughs

-In heaven

Tetra's mom: sees flier Oh my.

-Deku tree place

Deku Tree: Oh, isn't that nice?

-Outset

Lenzo: Honey, I'm home!

Laugh track: ha ha ha

Granny: Oh, hello, dear! Say, what's that?

Lenzo: My latest picto! shows granny

Granny: Oh, isn't that just the cutest little thing? Link has himself a girly-friend!

Aryll: Tee hee! teasing-like Link has a girlfriend! Link has a girlfriend!

-On the ship

Tetra: You were saying?

Link: looks up Well, okay, maybe the gods care, but it's not like any real people care.

Tetra: No you buffoon, the text! READ THE TEXT!

Link: reads OH SNAP!

Gonzo: sees flier Oh, that's adorable! grabs fliers to pass out to rest of crew

Tetra: YOU PUT THOSE BACK THIS INSTANT! THAT'S AN ORDER!

Gonzo: below deck Hey guys, look at this!

Crew: Awwwwww!

Tetra: I'm soooo going to kill something for this...

Link: Oh. backs away slowly

-elsewhere...

Ganondorf: walks out to get the paper in his skiffies (the sick bastard) What's eh? reads flier Aww, weww isn't that the cutest wittle thing... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

-again, back at the ship...

Tetra: stabbing Gonzo I told you to put those back!!!

Gonzo: I'm sorry, Miss Tetra! Please, quit stabbing me!

Niko: with printing press, secretly publishing photo into his own independent newspaper This just made front page!

Tetra: Give me that! snatches a paper reads front page

front page: above photo Miss Tetra the Pirate: Girlfriend or Slave Driver?

Tetra: You son of a bitch!! stabs Niko thru head

Niko: last desperate effort of a dying beaver tosses big bag of newspapers to Rito postman conveniently flying past porthole at that very moment Deliver... them! Echhh...

Tetra: NOOOOO!!!

Link: Jeez, what's the big deal? All we have to do is find something more shocking, publish that, and everyone'll forget all about this.

Tetra: grabs Link's shoulders, shakes him violently There is nothing more shocking, you twit! People LOVE to see hot, saucy relationships!

Gonzo: Ah-HA! I KNEW you were going behind our backs!

Tetra: throws axpoon through Gonzo's head

Gonzo: Blarg! I am dead! dies

Nudge: enters room Hey, whassup?

Tetra: kills Nudge

Nudge: Oh. Bogus, man. dies

Link: Holy crap, Tetra! Quit it! You're killing the whole crew!

Tetra: Do we have any of those blackmail photos left?

Mako: Um... yeah, but... just one.

Tetra: Fork it over. receives photo, looks at it OH GOD! turns her head away and vomits

Link: Oh gross, right on the rug!

Tetra: This'll do... yes, this'll do quite well.

Link: looks at photo By the 3 goddesses of creation, IT'S THE THREE GODDESSES OF CREATION!!!!!

Tetra: Goddesses... GONE WILD!... I love it!

Link: Is... is that what girls look like?

Tetra: Yes. Yes it is.

Link: staring at Tetra (not at her face, yo)

Tetra: Hey! Eyes up here, Link!

Link: looks at picture Hey, there's another stuck to the back! peels two apart Oh spew! Din's picking her nose!

Tetra: looks Farore's farting, and Nayru's lighting it! Gross!

Mako: I don't think...

Link: Well, duh! I do the thinking round here!

All: look at Link, shake heads

Link: Phooey.

-The very next day

Tetra: bags under her eyes at Niko's press Okay, that's the last one.

Link: ditto, but with many many papercuts Hooray... falls over

Mako: not tired in the least You know, you two are growing and need your rest...

Link & Tetra: glare at Mako

Mako: scared ...but who am I, your mom? CANDY FOR BREAKFAST!... oh wait, they're asleep.

-Later, Tetra's cabin

Tetra: wakes up rolls over sees Link screams

Link: wakes up sees Tetra screams

Tetra: WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!

Link: WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN MY BARREL-oh wait, you're right.

Tetra: with the flaming word floating above her head GET!!!! OUT!!!!!!!!

Link: EEYAAAAAAGH!!! runs away real quick-like

Mako: Hey, Link. What's up?

Link: Why was I in her bed?!

Mako: Oh, well, you see, Mungo saw the picture and put you both in there because he thought it would look cute.

Link: ...I'm going to start hurting you now, but just to let you know, I'm not sure when–or if–I'm going to stop. proceeds

Tetra: Cut that shit out! We need to distribute these papers, fast! Set a course for Dragon Roost!

Link: We're already there.

Mako: Yeah, I already gave them the newspapers to be delivered. The postmen in charge of distributing them should be getting back just now.

postmaster: comes aboard I have to say, this is possibly the most horrifying thing we've ever delivered, and as such, there's a little thing called a severance fee in order...

Tetra: I don't know what severance is, but I understand the word fee. stab We ain't payin' you dirty birds no goddamn rupee, you hear me?!

Link: Ow! You stabbed me!

Tetra: Oh, right. Sorry. stabs postmaster

postmaster: Ow, my liver!

-meanwhile, on Windfall...

random guy: reads headline Goddesses Gone Wild... hm. sees pictures Oh, yeah, me likey! sees next picture OH GOD! barfs, falls over dead

-on Outset...

Granny: sees pictures Oh my, how shameful!

Aryll: sees pictures Ooh, they're bad!... Hey, Gramma?

Granny: Yes?

Aryll: Um... when will I look like that?

-elsewhere...

fairy queen: the creepy bastard Oh looky, a paper! sees pictures HOLY SHIT!!!... Gee, when will I look like that?

-on the Forsaken Fortress...

Ganondorf: doing the Macarena, like the sick, evil bastard that he is HEEY, MACARENA! Hey, a paper. sees picture WOW!! sees next picture UGH!!

-To be continued!!