Title Here with out you by Three doors down

Disclaimer in chapter 1

Summary: Sam is captured by Ba'al and the rest of SG1 are hurt, and Jack is left to pick up the pieces and find his bride and bring her home. Will they survive to walk down the aisle?

sequel to Your in my soul

We arrived at Peterson AFB and the General wasn't there. An airman informed us that General Hammond could not come himself but would brief us on the latest news. We got into the car and made our way back to the base. Major Davis began to make calls to see what had happen with the committee after we had left the White House. I was impatient and needed to get to the base immediately. I looked over to Jacob and could see fear and concern on his face. I shouldn't have said what I did to him. I should have told him everything would be fine, that this was just another hurdle for SG-1. But I was a realist. We couldn't use the Stargate to get to the Tok'ra base. For all we knew, the base could have been destroyed or the whole planet. We had no idea if they were still there or if Sam and Teal'c had been taken to Ba'al's new prison.

The prison I had escaped from had been destroyed by Yu, so they wouldn't be there. My team didn't leave me behind. But we didn't have any information yet. Too much time had elapsed, and the longer it took to find them, the longer Ba'al would have to do God knows what.

I stopped the bile rising to my throat. I closed my eyes and tried to push back my memories of the time I was held by Ba'al. The man was relentless. He had no compassion and if he killed them, he would just revive them by a sarcophagus. It angered me thinking of Sam being held by him, probably trapped on that anti-gravitation contraption. Oh god, Sam! What is he doing with you right now? Please hold on. Don't give up. Your strong, stronger then me. You have to hold on. I will find you and bring you home. Or die trying.

I needed to stop thinking. I needed to clear my mind of all these thoughts. I needed to hide all my emotions. I couldn't let my emotions take over. It could cost lives and they needed me to be sharp to bring them home. I started to use my training and started to relax myself. Detaching myself from the situation to look at it in military terms. The lives of two people that meant the world to me were at stake and I would not fail them. I would return them home to their friends and family.

We arrived at the SGC and were escorted to the briefing room. General Hammond was not there and we were informed that he would be on the phone for some time. He was speaking to the President and the Joints Chief of Staff. This wasn't good news. Did the committee make a decision? I looked to Davis to see if he knew what was going on and he proceeded to make calls. Jacob wanted to contact the Tok'ra and I told him I'd come along. We dialed the planet they would go to if a breach of security happened. We sent a MALP but nothing could be seen on the planet. I could see the disappointment in Jacob's face. He said he should go check it out, but just then a staff blast came through the gate. Before we disengaged the gate, we saw the Jaffa that had been lying in wait to see if anyone was coming through. I put my hand on Jacob's shoulder and I could feel him slump deeper into the chair.

I excused myself and told him I wanted to see Ferretti and Daniel. Jacob had forgotten they had been injured and said he'd come with me. We arrived at the infirmary and saw that Lou had one of his arms bandaged up and was resting. We got close to his bed and he woke up. He tried to sit up, but couldn't because of the injury to his ribs.

I had known Lou since before our first mission through the Stargate. He had been recommended by Charlie, who had been my second in command at the time. He was as good as Charlie said, saving our butts more times then not. I saw the sorrow and guilt in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Sir. I thought it was going to be easy to go in and fix the gate and be back by dinner. We weren't expecting this from our allies. God Jack, if I could only turn back time, there are so many things I would have done differently. Have you heard any news? General Carter, Sir. Have you tried contacting the Tok'ra? If you're going back, I want to come along. I owe it to Colonel Carter and Teal'c.

I told Lou it wasn't his fault. I was happy he'd been there to go along with them. I then asked him to tell me exactly what had happen. Before he began, someone ran into the infirmary. It was one of the nurses looking for Janet.

"Sirs, I'm sorry, but I'm looking for Dr. Fraiser. She had to be escorted out of the operating room when she became hysterical. Dr. Warner sent her out of the room but she refused to leave. We had to get security, and then when Dr. Jackson started to crash, she ran out of the room."

I looked at Lou and Jacob and told Lou to tell Jacob everything. I had to go find Janet. This day was becoming the worse one ever at the SGC. At the infirmary door, I turned around and asked Lou one question.

"Ferretti? Who was the snake that betrayed us?"

Lou cleared his throat. "Vahe'".

Jacob growled and Selmac took over. "O'Neill. I will get the information from Major Ferretti. It is getting harder to control Jacob. Vahe' is new to the Tok'ra and Jacob had his reservations about him. His intuition has proven correct and it may cost Samantha and Teal'c their lives."

I told Selmac to get all the information and once I'd found Janet, I would be back. I asked the nurse about Daniel's status. She explain that he had been shot on the side and had second degree burns, but that was only minor compared to the head trauma he had gotten when he had fallen on to the stone steps at the Gate. They were operating to reduce the swelling, but the trauma to his side turned out to be more severe then Dr. Fraiser had first diagnosed.

"She's blaming herself for not thinking the wound to his side was bad. She was really concerned for Colonel Carter and Teal'c when they didn't follow behind Major Ferretti and Dr. Jackson. Sir, I'm worried about Dr. Fraiser. I've been working so long with her, but I've never seen her so lost. We've got to find her."

I agreed and told her to check the lower levels. I enlisted the help of a couple of airmen to aid her and I went topside. That's where I found her. How she got out here with her surgical gown on and blood all splattered on it was beyond me. She was sitting on a boulder looking at her hands. She kept trying to wipe the blood from her gown when I heard a low cry. I walked up to her and she turned and ran into my arms. She started to plead with me to tell her that she had not killed Daniel, that he was still alive. That this was all a bad dream, and that Sam and Teal'c were safe down in the mountain. I let her continue to vent, but she started to hyperventilate. I told her to take deep breaths and she started to calm down. She looked at me and asked why. Why couldn't we have normal lives?

I held her and knew how she felt. Our lives could never be normal. It could all change in a blink of an eye. I told her I didn't know why. She let out another cry.

"I left him alone, Jack. I have to get back into that operating room. They won't let me back in. Please, Jack, they have to let me back in there. He needs me. I won't let him die. He's my life. I can't survive without him. Please help me, Jack," Janet pleaded.

I nodded to her and told her I'd talk to Hammond for her. I told her we needed to get back down to the mountain to see what was going on. She leaned into me for support and I put my arm around her. As we got into the elevator she started to cry again.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I was so concern for Daniel that I didn't even think of what you must be feeling. Have they gotten in contact with the Tok'ra? What happened? Why did they attack SG-1? Sam has to be okay. You guys are getting married in three days. Fate can't be this cruel."

I told her what I knew. She gasped when I told her that the Tok'ra had a spy amongst them and that he was working for Ba'al. She paled and grabbed my hand, knowing what I had gone through when I had escaped and the aftermath of dealing with the torture. We went to the infirmary and Jacob and Ferretti were still there. Jacob saw Janet's gown and Lou just pointed and asked about Daniel.

She looked down and excused herself to change her gown. I walked over to Jacob and told them what happen and we didn't have any news on Daniel. Janet came over to stand by me and asked if we had heard anything. We were about to go to the O.R. when Dr. Warner walked into the room.

Janet's knees buckled and I held her up. She grabbed my hand as Dr. Warner came close.

Dr. Warner said that the staff blast had been more severe then they thought, but they had treated it. The head wound was another story. They had reduced the swelling, but were concerned about the amount of time Daniel had been without oxygen.

"When you left Dr. Fraiser, Dr. Jackson went into full cardiac arrest we almost lost him, but by some miracle he survived. We can't do anymore right now. We just have to wait and see."

Janet eyes were full of tears as she took in all that Dr. Warner had said. I pulled her close and asked if we could see him. He said that we could but looked at Janet.

"Dr. Fraiser, I understand you have a relationship with Dr. Jackson, and seeing someone you care for in that type of situation is rough. I want your word that you will act professionally. I can't have you fall apart like you did in the O.R. Janet, I know you're a good doctor and this was just a little too much. That's why asked you to step away. I saw you losing your focus."

Janet apologized to him and said it would not happen again. Jacob came up to Janet and asked if he could be of any help.

Janet's tears started to flow. "Yes. Is there anything you can do? I know you can use the healing device."

We all had forgotten that Jacob could use the healing device. Ferretti got off the bed and said he would go to the General for permission to retrieve it and bring it to Jacob.

When the device arrived, Jacob started working on Daniel and after a few minutes stopped, giving Dr. Warner and Janet the extent of his injuries. He stated he could do a little at a time but the head wound was something to be concern about. He said he would take care of the staff weapon wound first and see if the brain's swelling would come down as an affect.

After Jacob was done, an airman came looking for us, saying that General Hammond needed to speak to Jacob, Lou, Janet and I immediately.

We left the infirmary with Dr. Warner promising us to watch over Daniel. We arrived in the conference room and I could tell something was not right.

Jacob spoke first. "George, I don't care about any budget crap right now. I need to know what happened from the first initial contact up to the time of Daniel and Lou coming through the Gate. We've tried to contact the Tok'ra but were greeted by Jaffa. So whatever the President and the Joint Chief of Staff are asking for, it comes second until I know exactly what happen to SG-1."

General Hammond looked down and stood. He started with the first initial contact from the Tok'ra and his reservations on letting Sam go, finally agreeing on her going with the rest of SG-1. He went into detail about Ferretti's communication, that the base was being over run by Jaffa. After Ferretti and Daniel came through, we attempted to send a rescue team, but couldn't get a team through because of the constant fire coming from the other side. Ferretti filled in the blanks, naming the Tok'ra spy and confirming it was Ba'al he was working for. Ferretti also quoted what Vahe' said about not delivering the person he wanted most. I felt the blood drain from my face and closed my eyes. This was my fault. I had caused Daniel's and Lou's injuries and Sam and Teal'c were being held because of me.

Janet grabbed my hand. "Do not start blaming yourself, Colonel. You've been on the System Lords hit list for years, as has all of SG-1. Don't do this to yourself."

I nodded and squeezed her hand. I got up and Jacob came over to stand next to me, telling me we would find both Sam and Teal'c. Major Davis came into the room and slammed the door.

We all were startled and I looked to Hammond. He asked if their decision was final and Davis said yes and no.

I was confused. What decision? I asked them what they were talking about. General Hammond closed his eyes and asked me to sit down. I told him that we were wasting time. We needed to contact our allies and see if they could help.

George said that he had been on the line with the President and the Joint Chief's of Staff since we had left Washington. Senator Kinsey had found out what the emergency was and was livid. He wanted to know when the government had lost control of what was going on at the SGC when a civilian could use the Gate for his own purposes. I had forgotten that I was no longer a Colonel in the Air Force, but a civilian consultant. I was no longer a soldier. I was there to give my professional opinion on what would work and what wouldn't.

Kinsey had gotten some of the joint chief's of staff to agree with him that since I was just a civilian, I did not have a valid reason to go through the Gate.

"Jack, I've been ordered not to let you through the Gate. If I do, I will be court marshaled and thrown into prison. Son, I'm sorry."

This was payback for ruining Kinsey's plan to cut the budget on the Stargate. Jacob started to yell, saying he was personally going to go to Washington and take care of the Kinsey problem once and for all. Ferretti was just as upset and Janet was on the verge of breaking down, knowing the best chance her friends had at getting out of this alive was being taken away.

Major Davis said he was pulling all the strings he could and there might be a solution. I turned with a hopeful look. But before he could start, the klaxons started to go off with the announcement of an off-world activation.

I ran out of the room and straight to the Gate room, followed by Jacob, Lou and Janet. I turned to see Hammond in the control room as the iris disengaged.

I started to pray, hoping that Teal'c had gotten them away from Ba'al, but was disappointed when Bray'tac and Racnor came through the gate instead. I let the breath I was holding out and looked at the floor.

Bray'tac greeted us and asked where Sam was.

Racnor asked why his father wasn't there to greet them.

Janet gasped. I looked up and realized they hadn't been informed on what had happened.

George and Major Davis came into the room and asked if they had any news. Bray'tac looked confused, as did Racnor. We decided to go back to the briefing room to let them know what had been going on.

Brayta'c said they were not on the Rebel Jaffa base. They had made a detour before arriving here to gather more support for there cause. They said they would make inquiries of their fellow Jaffa to see if they knew where Ba'al's new base was located at. I sat back down and asked Major Davis what he was going to say before Bray'tac and Racnor came.

He explained that the President had given him the ideal to have me re- instated to the Air Force, making me a General and able to go through the Gate. This would work for the Joint Chiefs of Staff and would appease the Stargate committee members, but Kinsey said that if I was to be re- instated, it would have to be for at least one year and that I would not be stationed at the SGC. I looked up at him and asked where I would be assigned to.

"Kinsey's pushing for Antarctica, but the President says you could be assigned to the Pentagon. I can't guarantee anything, Sir, but think of the alternative. I had to pull every favor I had to get them to agree to this, so the ball's in your court."

I turned to General Hammond and snapped a salute. "Where do I sign? We've wasted enough time with this crap. We need to find out where this base is at. Jacob. Are there any other addresses that you can dial to see if any of the Tok'ra survived? Bray'tac, Racnor. You need to contact your rebel forces and get the word out that Tealc's in trouble. Janet, you need to go see how Daniel's doing. Now, if you will all excuse me, I need to get into my BDU's."

I walked into the locker room and locked the door. I sat in front of her locker and with a shaky hand, opened it. There were the clothes that she had been wearing when I left to Washington. I pulled out her sweater and took a deep breath, smelling her scent. I tried to swallow the tears that were threatening to fall. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath.

I looked at the picture on the door. It was taken on her birthday, the day I asked her to be my wife. She had on her killer smile and I was also smiling. It seemed so long ago, like years, but it had it only been a few weeks. I started to rummage through her purse when the wedding march began to play on her phone. I pulled it out and stared at it. It started to play the tune again. All the rage I felt, all the injustice of why she had been taken from me was pulsating through me. With a yell, I threw the phone across the room and it shattered into a million pieces. I feel to my knees and started to cry. Then a song started going over and over in my head

A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same All the miles that separate Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face

I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight, there's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin' As the people leave their way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated But I hope that this gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it won't take away my love And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me

Why was she taken from me? Didn't we deserve happiness? Why did everything I love get taken from me? I had to get myself together. I had to be strong. I stood up and wiped the tears from my face and went to find some BDU's in my size. I changed and came back and stood in front of Sam's locker and took the photo from the door. There was a knock and I went to unlock the door. Jacob and Janet stood there and I motioned for them to come in.

I asked if they had any news. Janet looked at the shattered phone and then to me and said that Daniel's burn was improving and that Jacob would be using the healing device again that morning. Jacob said that there had been no contact from any of the other Tok'ra and that Bray'tac was contacting the rebel base as we spoke. I nodded to both of them and put the picture in my breast pocket. Janet motioned to the phone and I said it had been playing the wedding march.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I should have never told her to change the tone to the wedding march. Oh god, Julia! I was supposed to call her. It's 2:00AM. We stood her up. She's probably frantic, wondering what happen to us. I'll take care of it, don't worry."

I thanked her and headed back to the control room with Jacob to see what our next step would be. I had to find Sam. Without her, I had nothing. Without her, I was just one.