Disclaimer pt 1
"Wind Beneath My Wings" song by Bette Middler
Someone was calling my name. The voice was familiar to me. I opened my eyes and tried to focus. Once everything became clear, I looked into the most beautiful site in the world. Two brown eyes peering down at me, salt and pepper hair sticking out of his cap, calling my name.
"Come on Sam, we don't have much time. Wake up. We've got to get out of here before the Jaffa comeback."
It was him; he'd found me. I was still in shock and looked around to see where Teal'c was. I asked Jack if he'd seen him.
"He's already gone. They went ahead to make sure it was all clear. They radioed back saying they were pinned down and we would have to get to the Gate on our own. So come on, get up. We have to get going".
He helped me up and pulled me into his arms. I clung to him and told him how happy I was to see him and how I had almost given up hope. He held me tight and started to whisper that everything was going to be all right. I started to ask questions. How did he find us? How did he get in here without being spotted? He told me there was time for that later, but we had to go now.
"Samantha I've been searching for you everywhere. I never gave up. You're safe. I will not let anything happen to you." He cupped my face with his hand and gave me a kiss.
I wanted to cry. I told him that I wanted to go home.
He smiled and led me to the door. He looked out into the hallway and told me to wait. He came back and said that it looked clear.
"Sam, my beloved, there's just one problem. With the excitement of finding you, I have forgotten my iris code. You remember yours, right? Just tell me the code so we can get through the Gate so you don't get hurt."
I stepped back and yanked my hand away from him. What did he just say? He forgot his code? I started to back away. Something was wrong. He started to come towards me and asked what was wrong with me. He said we had to leave. Ba'al would be coming back any minute. I wanted to believe him, but I kept stepping back. He grabbed by upper arms and started to yell at me.
"Do you want us to be captured? Do you want me to go through that pain again?" Are you that selfish, Samantha? I came to save you. I just forgot the code. Do you not trust me the man you love? Now tell me the iris code."
I pulled away from him and let out a cry. "No! You're not Jack; you're playing with my mind again. Jack wouldn't say those things and he wouldn't hurt me. You're not him; this is all a lie. I won't tell you anything. This is just another one of your tricks, Ba'al. Stop it and leave me alone."
I backed into the wall and slid down it. I curled up into a ball and held back my tears. I was snapped out my nightmare and came face to face with Ba'al.
"Do you miss your beloved, my dear? Do you think he will ever find you? This is the man I had crawling, begging me to kill him. This is the man I broke. This is the man you wish to wed. I pity you being joined to a man that's nothing but a sorry excuse for a mate. Reconsider my offer, Samantha. I can make you a queen. With your knowledge, we could conquer the other System Lords. They would bow to us. You would be adored by all and have your every whim catered to."
He started to caress my face and I turned away. He tried to kiss me and I spat into his face. I told him that Jack was more of a man then he could ever wish to be. I told him I would rather die then be his queen. He grabbed my chin and gave it a squeeze until I cried out. He enjoyed my pain and smiled.
"You had your chance my dear. Let's see how cooperative the sholva is."
He motioned to the guards to pick me up.
I was dragged over to the anti-gravitational wall and was attached to it. I was suspended in front of him and then waited to see what he would do next. I looked to the side and saw that Teal'c had been a witness to my weakness. An identical device was holding him.
The guards had beaten him. He had cuts on his face but showed no emotion. Teal'c turned to gaze at me. He held my eyes. He was telling me to be strong. He wanted me to take myself away from this place and find my inner peace. But as I attempted it, I felt a sharp pain pierce my chest.
It brought me out of my subconscious and I looked down to see a long knife sticking out of my chest. I cried out in pain as the blood was starting to flow down my shirt.
Ba'al picked up another knife and held it positioning to come at me again. He asked Teal'c again for the location of the new rebel Jaffa base. Teal'c would not answer. Ba'al said if he did not answer him then he would let the knife go and it would cause more pain then the last. I suppressed the sob that was in my throat and looked away. I had to get back to my safe place.
I had been killed and revived three times already. I was losing my mind. I was losing touch with reality. I was beginning to doubt what was real and what was not. Ba'al had tortured us in ways I never knew existed. Each time I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. I spoke out.
"Don't tell him anything Teal'c. He's going to do it regardless what you tell him. I don't hold you responsible for what he is doing to me."
Teal'c looked at me and bowed his head and turned back to Ba'al and spat in his face.
"You are nothing but a man, a false god and a coward. You take pleasure in the pain of others. She has more courage then you would ever see in all of your lifetime. You may kill us over and over again but each time remember this: we die free and we die proud and we will never answer to a false god".
This angered Ba'al and he motioned Vahe'over to stand in front of Teal'c while he came over to me.
"I will not revive him. If you do not tell me what I want to know, he will die. His blood will be on your hands. The choice is yours Samantha. Tell me the location of the new Alpha Site and the code for the Stargate and I will let him live."
I looked over to Teal'c and he nodded no. Ba'al grabbed my face and put the blade to my throat and nicked it with the tip of the blade. I could feel blood starting to flow.
I took a deep breath and the anger I felt was overwhelming. I looked at him. "You think you can break us? Use us against each other to get your information? Your wrong! We are stronger than you. You think you broke Jack? Think again you arrogant son of a bitch. You had him in your hands and he escaped. He took Shayla, your lotar, who was supposed to be loyal to you away. He has been responsible for numerous other Goa'uld deaths. He was the reason your old compound was destroyed! He will come back and finish you off for hurting us, of this I can guarantee. You will become the hunted. We might not be around to see it, but know this: he will not rest till you are dead. We don't leave our people behind and if you kill one of us, expect to be repaid ten fold."
Ba'al stepped back at the fury in my voice. He smiled and said that it was too bad I wouldn't be around to see that day and motioned to Vahe'. He took out a large sword and stuck it into Teal'c. I turned away as Ba'al caressed my cheek. "I would love to tame you, Samantha. Maybe next time."
The knife in his hand was plunged into my heart, and the last thoughts that I had were of Jack.
Lights were flashing in front of me and then stopped. I was in a small space that felt like a coffin. I opened my eyes and saw two Jaffa pulling me out of the sarcophagus.
He had revived me again. I could feel my soul slowly being sucked away. Who I was, what I believed in, was being broken down each time I was placed in that thing. I was taken to my cell and thrown in. I crawled to the corner and curled up since it was cold and damp. What was left of my shirt was barely covering me and I had lost my shoes and socks back on the ship. I heard movement and prepared my self for battle. I called out to whoever was in the dark.
"Colonel Carter? It is I, Teal'c. Ba'al revived me again"
I asked him what the password was. He said turquoise. He asked me what the name of his son was and I answered Ray'ac. I let my defenses down and moved to sit by his side. He placed his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder and got close for warmth.
I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. When I didn't say anything, he spoke.
"I witnessed what he did to you. I am sorry you thought that O'Neill was here and we were being rescued. How did you figure out it wasn't O'Neill?"
"Jack would never have left anyone of us behind and he would have never forgotten the iris code."
"I am glad you saw through the charade. But it still must have been painful."
I nodded my head not wanting to speak. I closed my eyes and wondered how much more of this we could take. He told me what Ba'al had done to him since the last time we had spoke. It had seem like days since we had seen each other and this was the first time we had been left alone. He detailed the dreams Ba'al made up for him. It involved his son Ray'ac and Jack.
"He made me watch my son die in my arms. O'Neill was yelling at me to give him the iris code to engage the Stargate. He accused me of not caring what happened to my son. I knew it wasn't him. O'Neill would not accuse me of not caring for my son. And not once did he ask me about you. I knew it was a trick and told Ba'al that his mind tricks would not work on me. Ba'al knew he had failed and put me on the anti-gravitational device and started to use acid to get me to speak. When I did not say anything, he killed me and I awoke in the sarcophagus."
He recounted the other times and I listened. I squeezed his hand knowing this was his therapy: to relive the pain to make it easier to bear. When he finished, he asked if I wanted to tell him what I had gone through. I told him it was too painful and that I didn't want to remember that again.
"Teal'c, I don't know if I can survive much longer. I feel myself slipping away. My strength and willpower is being slowly drained away. I'm afraid the next time I won't be strong enough to fight him. He almost broke me when he appeared as Jack. I could have sworn it was him. God, he kissed me! Just thinking of that now makes me ill."
Teal'c told me that I had to dig deep in myself to resist Ba'al. He knew I could do it. I told him I'd try but deep down I knew my time was coming to an end. I knew now what Jack had meant when he said he just wanted to give up and die. These mind games were the worse. At this point, I'd take the physical pain to the mental pain. I asked Teal'c where Ba'al had learned to use these techniques.
"Osiris, even Nitri, have knowledge on how to use images to bend ones mind to believe what they want to see. Almost like Sokar's Blood. He will not stop till he has the information he wants. You have to be strong, Colonel Carter".
I looked up at him and tried to smile. "Teal'c, after what we've been through together, can you stop calling me Colonel Carter and just call me Sam or Samantha?"
Teal'c bowed his head. "As you wish, Samantha. We have faced much these last few days together, and I will abide by your wishes."
I nodded and changed the subject. "Teal'c, what day is it? You still have your timepiece don't you."
He pulled out the timepiece and looked at it and then to me. He didn't have to say anything. I knew it was Saturday back home. My wedding day, the day I had waited for all my life.
I tried to get up. I needed some space, but Teal'c stopped me and pulled me down next to him put his arm around my shoulder. "Samantha, you are still going to be wed, do not despair. It will not be today but as soon as O'Neill finds us, you will have your happiness. We will escape and you and O'Neill will wed."
I tried to hold back the tears and he said it was okay to cry. I let out a sob and started to weep. He held me and I let my tears flow. He soothed me and told me that we would get out of here and that all would be well.
I didn't believe him. No one knew where we were being held or if we had survived the attack on the Tok'ra base. I looked up at him and he wiped my tears away. .
"Samantha you can not give up. We have to resist Ba'al's manipulation; we have to survive. O'Neill would expect nothing less from you. Think of his love for you. Remember all that you've both been through in your lives to get to this point. You cannot give up, because if you do, then I will have failed you, O'Neill, Jacob Carter, General Hammond, Daniel Jackson, Cassandra, Doctor Fraiser and myself."
I looked at him, this wise Jaffa trying to get me to hang on. I was trying to shut him out but would not allow it. He was showing me what the consequences would be if I gave up. I told him I would resist. I then asked if he had anymore mind techniques he could show me. He told me of a way to go into a deep meditation. It would slow my heart rate and would literally put me in a coma.
"It is dangerous, Samantha. Do this as a last resort. I listened to his instruction and I heard him tell me to close my eyes. He told me to do something that would soothe me, such as recite a poem or sing in my head.
I nodded and focused on Jack. I thought of all the things I should have said and done. I started to sing in my head:
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way;
you always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name -- for so long,
a beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Chorus
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,
I would be nothing with out you.
Chorus
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away,
you let me fly so high.
Oh, fly, fly,
so high against the sky, so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you,
the wind beneath my wings.
I finished and Teal'c grabbed my hand. I snapped out of my trance and looked at him and could have sworn I saw tears waiting to fall.
"You sang out loud, Samantha. Your song has moved me and I know you were thinking of O'Neill. It was very personal. Your emotions could be heard in your voice. You have to suppress these feelings. Ba'al will use this to manipulate you and break your defensives down."
I nodded and he said we should rest and try later. I put my head on his shoulder and must have nodded off. We heard the distinct sound of the Jaffa armor and Teal'c stood and helped me up. He placed himself in front of me and waited to see who would be coming in.
"I will not let them take you again Samantha. When they come, I will try and stop them."
"No Teal'c, I can face him again. I'll just go into my head and sing to myself. Don't let them harm you. That's the worse punishment for me, seeing you beaten. I can't deal with that and also resist Ba'al's manipulation. Let them take me without a fight, please".
The doors open and two guards walked in and closed the door. Teal'c placed himself in front of me and crossed his arms.
"You are going to have to kill me if you wish to take Colonel Carter. I am willing to give my life for her."
The Jaffa spoke. "We do not wish to harm you, Teal'c. W we are not your enemy. I am Kehan and this is Bolen. We are here to help. We are with the rebel Jaffa and have news for you"
Teal'c looked at them suspiciously. He asked why we should trust them. He said that they had contact the rebel Jaffa and had sent a word to them that we were being held here and had sent the plans for the compound and information they would need to infiltrate the prison.
I was still suspicious. "You want to help then let us go right now. Take us to the Gate so that we can escape".
He nodded no and said that he could not do that.
"It is not wise to show our hand now. We just came to prepare you for the attack by the rebel Jaffa, Tauri and Tok'ra. We were contacted this day to be ready to fight. They are on their way. We will try our best to keep you here so they may be able to find you easily. So you must be prepared to escape when the time comes."
I grabbed Teal'c's hand. "Did he say Taur'i and Tok'ra? Teal'c, please tell me this isn't Ba'al manipulating us again. If it is, I don't know what I'll do. Tell me that we are about to be rescued."
I felt my knees go weak and Teal'c grabbed me by the waist to steady me.
"We're going home, Teal'c. I am afraid to hope that this nightmare is almost over."
Then it hit me: Jack was coming. He'd found us. I felt overjoyed and scared at the same time. He was walking back into the lion's den. I felt a cold chill come over me. I started to feel light headed and nauseated. Teal'c saw me sway and go pale. He helped me sit down and asked if I was all right. Bolen handed him a container of water and some bread. He thanked them for their help. They said they had to leave as to not bring suspicion upon them.
"We will see each other again. We will be close by if you get separated. One of us will be with either each of you."
Teal'c asked where Ba'al was at the moment. Bolen answered.
"Lord Ba'al is busy with Vahe' at the moment. A cargo ship arrived, so we must return to our post quickly. Good luck and we will be seeing you again."
The dizziness was going away and my stomach was starting to settle. Teal'c handed me some bread and water. I ate some and drank the water. I started to feel sick and threw up.
Teal'c looked concerned and told me to sip on the water. I told him it must be the effects of the sarcophagus. He agreed and said I should rest. When the attack started, we would have to be ready to leave.
I agreed and he motioned for me to get closer to him. He held me and I started to warm up. I could hear his heart beat and it was comforting.
"Teal'c, thank you for keeping me strong. I don't think I could have survived this if it wasn't for you. You are a true treasure and great friend. You are my brother and family. I love you, Teal'c. We never get to say these things and I just wanted you to know." I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. He embraced me and said that I was more than a friend to him. I was the sister he never had.
I smiled and put my head on his chest and started to nod off. Teal'c shook me awake and I could hear the sound of the Jaffa armor. Teal'c rose and placed himself in front of me. I didn't stop him; I didn't want to go. I hoped that maybe it was Bolen and Kehan. The doors open and I peered over Teal'c's shoulder and relaxed when I saw Kehan. But then Vahe' and two other guards entered the cell. I placed my hand on Teal'c's back. I whispered not to fight them, that we could be rescued any minute. I could see his muscles stiffen.
Vahe' spoke, saying that his Lord wanted to see me again. I closed my eyes and I could feel my stomach churning again. I had to be strong. Jack would be here and he would find me and would save me. I started to walk around Teal'c when one of the guards grabbed my arms and started to pull hard. I yelped in pain when I thought my arm was going to be pulled out of the socket. Teal'c lunged at the guard but was held back by the other two. I nodded no and mouthed that I'd be waiting.
He stopped and said be strong.
I was led out of the room and Vahe' was next to me, saying how disappointed he was with me. He reminded me that I should have taken his Lord's offer when it was an offer.
"Colonel Carter, you are only making this more difficult for yourself. Come now, our God awaits."
We walked pass the room we had been tortured in and I looked behind Vahe' and saw that Bolen was close. This gave me a small measure of comfort as I was led to God knows what.
We stopped in front of two large doors and the guards pushed them open. We stepped in and I started to look around the room. It was decorated in the same fashion as the others and what caught my attention was the large bed in the center of the room. I started to get a bad feeling and had my fears were confirmed when I heard the voice.
"Samantha, good to see you are among the living again. Come my dear and join me in some refreshments."
I was shoved to where Ba'al was seated. He had two slaves sitting by his feet. Vahe' told me to kneel and I gave him a look. He took a deep breath and motioned to the guard to get me down.
I knew what was coming and braced myself for the staff weapon to the back of my knees. I fell but my hands broke my fall.
Ba'al was laughing. "Ah, Samantha, defiant to the end. I love your spirit. You are more of a match for me then O'Neill was. I have offered for you to be my queen and you reject my every offer. So I am no longer asking."
Ba'al came off his chair and stood in front of me. He cupped my chin with my hands and smiled.
"You are very lovely my dear Samantha, a true woman, smart, beautiful and a warrior. I will enjoy taming you. Come, lets start on your first lesson."
He motioned for the guards to pick me up and place me on a table. As they restrained me, I tried not to panic but feared what he was about to do to me.
He came to my side and started to push buttons on the table. The table started to move upwards till I was facing him. I turned away from him and he grabbed my face.
"Now my dear, let's get reacquainted. You have information that I want. You know what I can do to you. It hurts me to do these things to you. But you leave me no choice. I am asking you to comply with my wishes. You tell me what I want to know and I will not scar this lovely skin of yours."
He started to caress my neck and face. I was gagging and I wanted to vomit. But I remained silent. I had to buy time and survive until the attack started. I needed to get away from this place and go to a safe place in my head. When I did not answer him, Ba'al said that I had brought this on myself. He had the guards untie me and then turned my back to him. He came behind me and whispered in my ear that this was going to hurt him deeply. He yanked what was left of my shirt and sports bra from me. I fought down the urge to scream. Then I felt his hands on my back then my neck and he whispered how beautiful I was and what a pity that it my neck would be permanently scarred.
He walked away and the next thing I felt was a sharp burning pain in the middle of my back. I bit my lip and suppressed the scream that wanted to leave my mouth.
He asked again the code to the iris. I didn't answer and another sharp pain was felt on my shoulder. I could smell my flesh burning and the pain was becoming unbearable. I tried to meditate but the acid was too much. I finally broke and told him to please stop. He asked again for the code. I told him I'd give him anything he wanted, but not that.
"Anything Samantha? You would agree to be my queen?"
I closed my eyes and knew my time had run out. Oh God Jack, all this fighting to have it end like this. I let out a sob that made Ba'al come close to me to see what my answer was.
"Are those tears for me my dear? You will be my queen Samantha. We will rule together and no one will be able to stop us. We will have unbelievable power together."
He motioned to one of the guards to bring him the urn. The guard placed the urn on a table next to Ba'al and he put his hand inside and pulled out a Goa'uld symbiote.
"So Samantha, what is your answer?"
I had to think fast.
"Untie me and I will give you my terms. If you agree, then I will do as you say."
He stepped away and motioned the guards to untie me. Ba'al went to prepare for the implantation. Bolen was untying my hand and asked quietly what I was doing. I said we needed to buy some time and this was the first thing that came to my mind. He handed me a robe and I put it on.
"I cannot let you do this. You will ruin our plan if you are implanted before they arrive. I am sorry, Colonel Carter, but too much is at stake."
I was delirious from the pain but understood what he was saying. I nodded yes but to give me a chance first. Ba'al called out to the guards to bring me to him.
I was dragged over to him and spoke.
"These are my terms. You let Teal'c go through the Stargate."
"Is that all? You would give your life for this Shova? Consider it done. Bring him to us now and he will bear witness to the birth of my new queen."
I started to sway but was held up by Bolen. I thanked him but he did not speak. Vahe' came up to me and said I had made a wise choice and that I should feel honored that I was to be given such a grand gift. I wanted to yell at him but the pain was becoming unbearable again. I let out a cry and Ba'al came close to me.
"You have no one to blame but yourself my dear. Ah, the Shova Teal'c is here. Let us begin the ceremony."
"Wait! Please let me speak to him first. I want to be the one to tell him of this agreement. I do not want him to interfere."
He agreed and Bolen helped me to where Teal'c was. I started to cry and went to him as the guards let him go. I caught him before he fell.
"Samantha, are you well? Why have they brought me here?"
"Ba'al's letting you go Teal'c. I've agreed to become his queen. Please don't interfere. Go and don't ague with me. It's the only way."
Teal'c started to shake his head and said he would not allow this. He started to rise and I said no, that this was my decision and I was through fighting. Ba'al grew tired of our conversation. Teal'c grabbed my hand as the Guards started to pull me away. He was screaming at me not to do it, that his life was not worth saving. The guards pulled Teal'c away and I was dragged back to Ba'al and placed on the table.
Ba'al was over me and had the urn to his side. My time had run out. I had gambled that Jack would be here before it came to this but I lost. Ba'al was speaking, saying this was a great day that he had finally found a woman worthy of him. He placed his hand in the urn and pulled out the Goa'uld and held it above me. I waited for the implantation, but it never came.
Bolen and Kahen started to shoot the guards holding Teal'c. I opened my eyes and saw Ba'al distracted. With the last of my strength I pushed him back and he toppled over with the Goa'uld. I jumped off the table and started to run for cover. But I was grabbed by Vahe'. I struggled with him and he slapped me with such force that I was thrown to the other side of the room. Bolen, Kahen and two other guards were fighting against the Jaffa that were loyal to Ba'al. I started to get up and came face to face with Ba'al and Vahe'. I screamed for Teal'c to help me.
Vahe pinned me down and Ba'al held the Goa'uld, saying he would not be denied his queen.
I struggled with Vahe, but he was too strong. He turned my head and I screamed.
"Jack, please help me! I don't want to be a host!"
The last thing I remember was an explosion ripping the doors open and suddenly hearing what I thought was Jack's voice calling out to me.
"Wind Beneath My Wings" song by Bette Middler
Someone was calling my name. The voice was familiar to me. I opened my eyes and tried to focus. Once everything became clear, I looked into the most beautiful site in the world. Two brown eyes peering down at me, salt and pepper hair sticking out of his cap, calling my name.
"Come on Sam, we don't have much time. Wake up. We've got to get out of here before the Jaffa comeback."
It was him; he'd found me. I was still in shock and looked around to see where Teal'c was. I asked Jack if he'd seen him.
"He's already gone. They went ahead to make sure it was all clear. They radioed back saying they were pinned down and we would have to get to the Gate on our own. So come on, get up. We have to get going".
He helped me up and pulled me into his arms. I clung to him and told him how happy I was to see him and how I had almost given up hope. He held me tight and started to whisper that everything was going to be all right. I started to ask questions. How did he find us? How did he get in here without being spotted? He told me there was time for that later, but we had to go now.
"Samantha I've been searching for you everywhere. I never gave up. You're safe. I will not let anything happen to you." He cupped my face with his hand and gave me a kiss.
I wanted to cry. I told him that I wanted to go home.
He smiled and led me to the door. He looked out into the hallway and told me to wait. He came back and said that it looked clear.
"Sam, my beloved, there's just one problem. With the excitement of finding you, I have forgotten my iris code. You remember yours, right? Just tell me the code so we can get through the Gate so you don't get hurt."
I stepped back and yanked my hand away from him. What did he just say? He forgot his code? I started to back away. Something was wrong. He started to come towards me and asked what was wrong with me. He said we had to leave. Ba'al would be coming back any minute. I wanted to believe him, but I kept stepping back. He grabbed by upper arms and started to yell at me.
"Do you want us to be captured? Do you want me to go through that pain again?" Are you that selfish, Samantha? I came to save you. I just forgot the code. Do you not trust me the man you love? Now tell me the iris code."
I pulled away from him and let out a cry. "No! You're not Jack; you're playing with my mind again. Jack wouldn't say those things and he wouldn't hurt me. You're not him; this is all a lie. I won't tell you anything. This is just another one of your tricks, Ba'al. Stop it and leave me alone."
I backed into the wall and slid down it. I curled up into a ball and held back my tears. I was snapped out my nightmare and came face to face with Ba'al.
"Do you miss your beloved, my dear? Do you think he will ever find you? This is the man I had crawling, begging me to kill him. This is the man I broke. This is the man you wish to wed. I pity you being joined to a man that's nothing but a sorry excuse for a mate. Reconsider my offer, Samantha. I can make you a queen. With your knowledge, we could conquer the other System Lords. They would bow to us. You would be adored by all and have your every whim catered to."
He started to caress my face and I turned away. He tried to kiss me and I spat into his face. I told him that Jack was more of a man then he could ever wish to be. I told him I would rather die then be his queen. He grabbed my chin and gave it a squeeze until I cried out. He enjoyed my pain and smiled.
"You had your chance my dear. Let's see how cooperative the sholva is."
He motioned to the guards to pick me up.
I was dragged over to the anti-gravitational wall and was attached to it. I was suspended in front of him and then waited to see what he would do next. I looked to the side and saw that Teal'c had been a witness to my weakness. An identical device was holding him.
The guards had beaten him. He had cuts on his face but showed no emotion. Teal'c turned to gaze at me. He held my eyes. He was telling me to be strong. He wanted me to take myself away from this place and find my inner peace. But as I attempted it, I felt a sharp pain pierce my chest.
It brought me out of my subconscious and I looked down to see a long knife sticking out of my chest. I cried out in pain as the blood was starting to flow down my shirt.
Ba'al picked up another knife and held it positioning to come at me again. He asked Teal'c again for the location of the new rebel Jaffa base. Teal'c would not answer. Ba'al said if he did not answer him then he would let the knife go and it would cause more pain then the last. I suppressed the sob that was in my throat and looked away. I had to get back to my safe place.
I had been killed and revived three times already. I was losing my mind. I was losing touch with reality. I was beginning to doubt what was real and what was not. Ba'al had tortured us in ways I never knew existed. Each time I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. I spoke out.
"Don't tell him anything Teal'c. He's going to do it regardless what you tell him. I don't hold you responsible for what he is doing to me."
Teal'c looked at me and bowed his head and turned back to Ba'al and spat in his face.
"You are nothing but a man, a false god and a coward. You take pleasure in the pain of others. She has more courage then you would ever see in all of your lifetime. You may kill us over and over again but each time remember this: we die free and we die proud and we will never answer to a false god".
This angered Ba'al and he motioned Vahe'over to stand in front of Teal'c while he came over to me.
"I will not revive him. If you do not tell me what I want to know, he will die. His blood will be on your hands. The choice is yours Samantha. Tell me the location of the new Alpha Site and the code for the Stargate and I will let him live."
I looked over to Teal'c and he nodded no. Ba'al grabbed my face and put the blade to my throat and nicked it with the tip of the blade. I could feel blood starting to flow.
I took a deep breath and the anger I felt was overwhelming. I looked at him. "You think you can break us? Use us against each other to get your information? Your wrong! We are stronger than you. You think you broke Jack? Think again you arrogant son of a bitch. You had him in your hands and he escaped. He took Shayla, your lotar, who was supposed to be loyal to you away. He has been responsible for numerous other Goa'uld deaths. He was the reason your old compound was destroyed! He will come back and finish you off for hurting us, of this I can guarantee. You will become the hunted. We might not be around to see it, but know this: he will not rest till you are dead. We don't leave our people behind and if you kill one of us, expect to be repaid ten fold."
Ba'al stepped back at the fury in my voice. He smiled and said that it was too bad I wouldn't be around to see that day and motioned to Vahe'. He took out a large sword and stuck it into Teal'c. I turned away as Ba'al caressed my cheek. "I would love to tame you, Samantha. Maybe next time."
The knife in his hand was plunged into my heart, and the last thoughts that I had were of Jack.
Lights were flashing in front of me and then stopped. I was in a small space that felt like a coffin. I opened my eyes and saw two Jaffa pulling me out of the sarcophagus.
He had revived me again. I could feel my soul slowly being sucked away. Who I was, what I believed in, was being broken down each time I was placed in that thing. I was taken to my cell and thrown in. I crawled to the corner and curled up since it was cold and damp. What was left of my shirt was barely covering me and I had lost my shoes and socks back on the ship. I heard movement and prepared my self for battle. I called out to whoever was in the dark.
"Colonel Carter? It is I, Teal'c. Ba'al revived me again"
I asked him what the password was. He said turquoise. He asked me what the name of his son was and I answered Ray'ac. I let my defenses down and moved to sit by his side. He placed his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder and got close for warmth.
I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. When I didn't say anything, he spoke.
"I witnessed what he did to you. I am sorry you thought that O'Neill was here and we were being rescued. How did you figure out it wasn't O'Neill?"
"Jack would never have left anyone of us behind and he would have never forgotten the iris code."
"I am glad you saw through the charade. But it still must have been painful."
I nodded my head not wanting to speak. I closed my eyes and wondered how much more of this we could take. He told me what Ba'al had done to him since the last time we had spoke. It had seem like days since we had seen each other and this was the first time we had been left alone. He detailed the dreams Ba'al made up for him. It involved his son Ray'ac and Jack.
"He made me watch my son die in my arms. O'Neill was yelling at me to give him the iris code to engage the Stargate. He accused me of not caring what happened to my son. I knew it wasn't him. O'Neill would not accuse me of not caring for my son. And not once did he ask me about you. I knew it was a trick and told Ba'al that his mind tricks would not work on me. Ba'al knew he had failed and put me on the anti-gravitational device and started to use acid to get me to speak. When I did not say anything, he killed me and I awoke in the sarcophagus."
He recounted the other times and I listened. I squeezed his hand knowing this was his therapy: to relive the pain to make it easier to bear. When he finished, he asked if I wanted to tell him what I had gone through. I told him it was too painful and that I didn't want to remember that again.
"Teal'c, I don't know if I can survive much longer. I feel myself slipping away. My strength and willpower is being slowly drained away. I'm afraid the next time I won't be strong enough to fight him. He almost broke me when he appeared as Jack. I could have sworn it was him. God, he kissed me! Just thinking of that now makes me ill."
Teal'c told me that I had to dig deep in myself to resist Ba'al. He knew I could do it. I told him I'd try but deep down I knew my time was coming to an end. I knew now what Jack had meant when he said he just wanted to give up and die. These mind games were the worse. At this point, I'd take the physical pain to the mental pain. I asked Teal'c where Ba'al had learned to use these techniques.
"Osiris, even Nitri, have knowledge on how to use images to bend ones mind to believe what they want to see. Almost like Sokar's Blood. He will not stop till he has the information he wants. You have to be strong, Colonel Carter".
I looked up at him and tried to smile. "Teal'c, after what we've been through together, can you stop calling me Colonel Carter and just call me Sam or Samantha?"
Teal'c bowed his head. "As you wish, Samantha. We have faced much these last few days together, and I will abide by your wishes."
I nodded and changed the subject. "Teal'c, what day is it? You still have your timepiece don't you."
He pulled out the timepiece and looked at it and then to me. He didn't have to say anything. I knew it was Saturday back home. My wedding day, the day I had waited for all my life.
I tried to get up. I needed some space, but Teal'c stopped me and pulled me down next to him put his arm around my shoulder. "Samantha, you are still going to be wed, do not despair. It will not be today but as soon as O'Neill finds us, you will have your happiness. We will escape and you and O'Neill will wed."
I tried to hold back the tears and he said it was okay to cry. I let out a sob and started to weep. He held me and I let my tears flow. He soothed me and told me that we would get out of here and that all would be well.
I didn't believe him. No one knew where we were being held or if we had survived the attack on the Tok'ra base. I looked up at him and he wiped my tears away. .
"Samantha you can not give up. We have to resist Ba'al's manipulation; we have to survive. O'Neill would expect nothing less from you. Think of his love for you. Remember all that you've both been through in your lives to get to this point. You cannot give up, because if you do, then I will have failed you, O'Neill, Jacob Carter, General Hammond, Daniel Jackson, Cassandra, Doctor Fraiser and myself."
I looked at him, this wise Jaffa trying to get me to hang on. I was trying to shut him out but would not allow it. He was showing me what the consequences would be if I gave up. I told him I would resist. I then asked if he had anymore mind techniques he could show me. He told me of a way to go into a deep meditation. It would slow my heart rate and would literally put me in a coma.
"It is dangerous, Samantha. Do this as a last resort. I listened to his instruction and I heard him tell me to close my eyes. He told me to do something that would soothe me, such as recite a poem or sing in my head.
I nodded and focused on Jack. I thought of all the things I should have said and done. I started to sing in my head:
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way;
you always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name -- for so long,
a beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Chorus
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,
I would be nothing with out you.
Chorus
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away,
you let me fly so high.
Oh, fly, fly,
so high against the sky, so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you, thank God for you,
the wind beneath my wings.
I finished and Teal'c grabbed my hand. I snapped out of my trance and looked at him and could have sworn I saw tears waiting to fall.
"You sang out loud, Samantha. Your song has moved me and I know you were thinking of O'Neill. It was very personal. Your emotions could be heard in your voice. You have to suppress these feelings. Ba'al will use this to manipulate you and break your defensives down."
I nodded and he said we should rest and try later. I put my head on his shoulder and must have nodded off. We heard the distinct sound of the Jaffa armor and Teal'c stood and helped me up. He placed himself in front of me and waited to see who would be coming in.
"I will not let them take you again Samantha. When they come, I will try and stop them."
"No Teal'c, I can face him again. I'll just go into my head and sing to myself. Don't let them harm you. That's the worse punishment for me, seeing you beaten. I can't deal with that and also resist Ba'al's manipulation. Let them take me without a fight, please".
The doors open and two guards walked in and closed the door. Teal'c placed himself in front of me and crossed his arms.
"You are going to have to kill me if you wish to take Colonel Carter. I am willing to give my life for her."
The Jaffa spoke. "We do not wish to harm you, Teal'c. W we are not your enemy. I am Kehan and this is Bolen. We are here to help. We are with the rebel Jaffa and have news for you"
Teal'c looked at them suspiciously. He asked why we should trust them. He said that they had contact the rebel Jaffa and had sent a word to them that we were being held here and had sent the plans for the compound and information they would need to infiltrate the prison.
I was still suspicious. "You want to help then let us go right now. Take us to the Gate so that we can escape".
He nodded no and said that he could not do that.
"It is not wise to show our hand now. We just came to prepare you for the attack by the rebel Jaffa, Tauri and Tok'ra. We were contacted this day to be ready to fight. They are on their way. We will try our best to keep you here so they may be able to find you easily. So you must be prepared to escape when the time comes."
I grabbed Teal'c's hand. "Did he say Taur'i and Tok'ra? Teal'c, please tell me this isn't Ba'al manipulating us again. If it is, I don't know what I'll do. Tell me that we are about to be rescued."
I felt my knees go weak and Teal'c grabbed me by the waist to steady me.
"We're going home, Teal'c. I am afraid to hope that this nightmare is almost over."
Then it hit me: Jack was coming. He'd found us. I felt overjoyed and scared at the same time. He was walking back into the lion's den. I felt a cold chill come over me. I started to feel light headed and nauseated. Teal'c saw me sway and go pale. He helped me sit down and asked if I was all right. Bolen handed him a container of water and some bread. He thanked them for their help. They said they had to leave as to not bring suspicion upon them.
"We will see each other again. We will be close by if you get separated. One of us will be with either each of you."
Teal'c asked where Ba'al was at the moment. Bolen answered.
"Lord Ba'al is busy with Vahe' at the moment. A cargo ship arrived, so we must return to our post quickly. Good luck and we will be seeing you again."
The dizziness was going away and my stomach was starting to settle. Teal'c handed me some bread and water. I ate some and drank the water. I started to feel sick and threw up.
Teal'c looked concerned and told me to sip on the water. I told him it must be the effects of the sarcophagus. He agreed and said I should rest. When the attack started, we would have to be ready to leave.
I agreed and he motioned for me to get closer to him. He held me and I started to warm up. I could hear his heart beat and it was comforting.
"Teal'c, thank you for keeping me strong. I don't think I could have survived this if it wasn't for you. You are a true treasure and great friend. You are my brother and family. I love you, Teal'c. We never get to say these things and I just wanted you to know." I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. He embraced me and said that I was more than a friend to him. I was the sister he never had.
I smiled and put my head on his chest and started to nod off. Teal'c shook me awake and I could hear the sound of the Jaffa armor. Teal'c rose and placed himself in front of me. I didn't stop him; I didn't want to go. I hoped that maybe it was Bolen and Kehan. The doors open and I peered over Teal'c's shoulder and relaxed when I saw Kehan. But then Vahe' and two other guards entered the cell. I placed my hand on Teal'c's back. I whispered not to fight them, that we could be rescued any minute. I could see his muscles stiffen.
Vahe' spoke, saying that his Lord wanted to see me again. I closed my eyes and I could feel my stomach churning again. I had to be strong. Jack would be here and he would find me and would save me. I started to walk around Teal'c when one of the guards grabbed my arms and started to pull hard. I yelped in pain when I thought my arm was going to be pulled out of the socket. Teal'c lunged at the guard but was held back by the other two. I nodded no and mouthed that I'd be waiting.
He stopped and said be strong.
I was led out of the room and Vahe' was next to me, saying how disappointed he was with me. He reminded me that I should have taken his Lord's offer when it was an offer.
"Colonel Carter, you are only making this more difficult for yourself. Come now, our God awaits."
We walked pass the room we had been tortured in and I looked behind Vahe' and saw that Bolen was close. This gave me a small measure of comfort as I was led to God knows what.
We stopped in front of two large doors and the guards pushed them open. We stepped in and I started to look around the room. It was decorated in the same fashion as the others and what caught my attention was the large bed in the center of the room. I started to get a bad feeling and had my fears were confirmed when I heard the voice.
"Samantha, good to see you are among the living again. Come my dear and join me in some refreshments."
I was shoved to where Ba'al was seated. He had two slaves sitting by his feet. Vahe' told me to kneel and I gave him a look. He took a deep breath and motioned to the guard to get me down.
I knew what was coming and braced myself for the staff weapon to the back of my knees. I fell but my hands broke my fall.
Ba'al was laughing. "Ah, Samantha, defiant to the end. I love your spirit. You are more of a match for me then O'Neill was. I have offered for you to be my queen and you reject my every offer. So I am no longer asking."
Ba'al came off his chair and stood in front of me. He cupped my chin with my hands and smiled.
"You are very lovely my dear Samantha, a true woman, smart, beautiful and a warrior. I will enjoy taming you. Come, lets start on your first lesson."
He motioned for the guards to pick me up and place me on a table. As they restrained me, I tried not to panic but feared what he was about to do to me.
He came to my side and started to push buttons on the table. The table started to move upwards till I was facing him. I turned away from him and he grabbed my face.
"Now my dear, let's get reacquainted. You have information that I want. You know what I can do to you. It hurts me to do these things to you. But you leave me no choice. I am asking you to comply with my wishes. You tell me what I want to know and I will not scar this lovely skin of yours."
He started to caress my neck and face. I was gagging and I wanted to vomit. But I remained silent. I had to buy time and survive until the attack started. I needed to get away from this place and go to a safe place in my head. When I did not answer him, Ba'al said that I had brought this on myself. He had the guards untie me and then turned my back to him. He came behind me and whispered in my ear that this was going to hurt him deeply. He yanked what was left of my shirt and sports bra from me. I fought down the urge to scream. Then I felt his hands on my back then my neck and he whispered how beautiful I was and what a pity that it my neck would be permanently scarred.
He walked away and the next thing I felt was a sharp burning pain in the middle of my back. I bit my lip and suppressed the scream that wanted to leave my mouth.
He asked again the code to the iris. I didn't answer and another sharp pain was felt on my shoulder. I could smell my flesh burning and the pain was becoming unbearable. I tried to meditate but the acid was too much. I finally broke and told him to please stop. He asked again for the code. I told him I'd give him anything he wanted, but not that.
"Anything Samantha? You would agree to be my queen?"
I closed my eyes and knew my time had run out. Oh God Jack, all this fighting to have it end like this. I let out a sob that made Ba'al come close to me to see what my answer was.
"Are those tears for me my dear? You will be my queen Samantha. We will rule together and no one will be able to stop us. We will have unbelievable power together."
He motioned to one of the guards to bring him the urn. The guard placed the urn on a table next to Ba'al and he put his hand inside and pulled out a Goa'uld symbiote.
"So Samantha, what is your answer?"
I had to think fast.
"Untie me and I will give you my terms. If you agree, then I will do as you say."
He stepped away and motioned the guards to untie me. Ba'al went to prepare for the implantation. Bolen was untying my hand and asked quietly what I was doing. I said we needed to buy some time and this was the first thing that came to my mind. He handed me a robe and I put it on.
"I cannot let you do this. You will ruin our plan if you are implanted before they arrive. I am sorry, Colonel Carter, but too much is at stake."
I was delirious from the pain but understood what he was saying. I nodded yes but to give me a chance first. Ba'al called out to the guards to bring me to him.
I was dragged over to him and spoke.
"These are my terms. You let Teal'c go through the Stargate."
"Is that all? You would give your life for this Shova? Consider it done. Bring him to us now and he will bear witness to the birth of my new queen."
I started to sway but was held up by Bolen. I thanked him but he did not speak. Vahe' came up to me and said I had made a wise choice and that I should feel honored that I was to be given such a grand gift. I wanted to yell at him but the pain was becoming unbearable again. I let out a cry and Ba'al came close to me.
"You have no one to blame but yourself my dear. Ah, the Shova Teal'c is here. Let us begin the ceremony."
"Wait! Please let me speak to him first. I want to be the one to tell him of this agreement. I do not want him to interfere."
He agreed and Bolen helped me to where Teal'c was. I started to cry and went to him as the guards let him go. I caught him before he fell.
"Samantha, are you well? Why have they brought me here?"
"Ba'al's letting you go Teal'c. I've agreed to become his queen. Please don't interfere. Go and don't ague with me. It's the only way."
Teal'c started to shake his head and said he would not allow this. He started to rise and I said no, that this was my decision and I was through fighting. Ba'al grew tired of our conversation. Teal'c grabbed my hand as the Guards started to pull me away. He was screaming at me not to do it, that his life was not worth saving. The guards pulled Teal'c away and I was dragged back to Ba'al and placed on the table.
Ba'al was over me and had the urn to his side. My time had run out. I had gambled that Jack would be here before it came to this but I lost. Ba'al was speaking, saying this was a great day that he had finally found a woman worthy of him. He placed his hand in the urn and pulled out the Goa'uld and held it above me. I waited for the implantation, but it never came.
Bolen and Kahen started to shoot the guards holding Teal'c. I opened my eyes and saw Ba'al distracted. With the last of my strength I pushed him back and he toppled over with the Goa'uld. I jumped off the table and started to run for cover. But I was grabbed by Vahe'. I struggled with him and he slapped me with such force that I was thrown to the other side of the room. Bolen, Kahen and two other guards were fighting against the Jaffa that were loyal to Ba'al. I started to get up and came face to face with Ba'al and Vahe'. I screamed for Teal'c to help me.
Vahe pinned me down and Ba'al held the Goa'uld, saying he would not be denied his queen.
I struggled with Vahe, but he was too strong. He turned my head and I screamed.
"Jack, please help me! I don't want to be a host!"
The last thing I remember was an explosion ripping the doors open and suddenly hearing what I thought was Jack's voice calling out to me.