Chapter Three

Two Steps Back

Not long after Ryan had returned from visiting Marissa, Sandy and Kristen also returned from their domestic chores and judged by the look on their ward's face that the news was good. "She didn't move much," Ryan explained, describing his visit with Marissa. "And she was pale, too pale, with these tubes sticking into her arms. But she smiled some." He smiled as well.

Sandy nodded, looking pleased himself. "Sounds like she's going to be all right." He judged, to which Kristen nodded as well. "You know, Ryan, what you did was right, going to help Marissa. She needed you and you did the right thing." Ryan simply nodded, though his smile at yet to disappear.

Seth looked over at his father. "What about me? I was there." He pointed out, waiting like a five year old the praise he felt he deserved. He had, after all, seen a guy he had once considered a friend blow his head off, he needed more then praise.

"I'm still upset with you." Sandy said, much to Seth's surprise, and he made no move to hide his shock. "I think you should call Ana and apologize for the way you've been acting lately."

Seth sighed, glancing over at Ryan, who offered no comforting words or gestures. "I don't think it would do a lot of good, Dad." He said. "Ana broke up with me already."

Kristen frowned, looking at her only son. "Honey, are you all right?" She questioned, her motherly face appearing once more. She could see that Seth was hurt, though he did a good job at hiding it; it was more confused then anything, which detracted from actually feeling the hurt that would soon fill his heart.

"Yeah Mom." Seth answered, with a shrug, as if to say, 'should I be all right?' He had never been dumped before, and though he knew he should be thinking about Ana and how to make amends with her, all he could think about was Summer. How frightened Summer had looked when Marissa had been shot, and how she had covered her face like a child not willing the watch the scary part in a horror movie when Oliver had killed himself. The distance look in her beautiful eyes every time he looked in them, the look that said she was a million miles away and lost. Seth was beginning to worry about Summer, but decided now was not a good time to say such a thing, especially with his father so touchy about the whole Ana thing.

Kristen didn't look so sure but she didn't say anything, simply patting her son's knee. "It's late, I think we should head on home." She said instead, looking at Sandy and Ryan. She had expected Ryan to look upset and protest at her words and she wasn't disappointed.

"I'd like to stay here, with Marissa's parents, just in case there's a change." Ryan said, looking from one Cohen adult to the other. He didn't want to say in case Marissa got worse, but that was what they were all thinking.

Sandy looked at his wife and opened his mouth to say something, but Seth spoke before he could. "I'd like to stay too." He said, looking at Ryan, who nodded once, silently stating that he would be happy to have the company.

"Well, I guess there's no point in going home then." Sandy remarked. "If we're just going to have to come back in a couple of hours to get the two of you." He looked at Kristen, who didn't make a motion to disagree with his words. She was worried about Marissa as well, and wanted to be around in case anything did happen, good or bad.

"Where are Marissa's parents anyway?" Kristen questioned, as though she had yet to notice that the once-upon-a-time Coopers were no longer around.

Seth looked at his mother. "They went to the cafeteria, about twenty minutes ago." He answered, trying to urge his parents away without even realizing. He had to talk with Ryan and he wanted to do it in private.

Sandy could almost sense Seth's eagerness to be alone and said to his wife, "I could use something to eat myself. Plus, I want to here more about Marissa." He was interested in hearing more medical details about the girl, not things only a love-struck boyfriend would notice.

Kristen and Sandy left the teenagers in the lobby and headed toward the elevator, which would led them to the cafeteria, where they would do more talking then eating. Seth wasn't the only one who had some things to discuss in private.

Once his parents had gone, Seth turned to face his friend, who also seemed to be expecting something. "Can I ask you something?" He questioned, knowing that Ryan wouldn't refuse.

When Ryan nodded, Seth said, "Is it wrong to be thinking about Summer after I just broke up with Ana?" For a moment, Ryan considered his words then simply shrugged. "Lot of help you are, man." The other boy grumbled.

"Well," Ryan began, "I guess not because it didn't take an idiot to realize that even when you were with Ana all you were thinking was Summer. So no, I guess it's not wrong." He was not expert in the romance field but that seemed about right to him.

Seth nodded sagely, though he clearly wasn't finish with their heartfelt discussion. "Did Summer seem strange to you? I mean, after Oliver killed himself?" He was amazed at how lightly he could say those words, and shivered slightly. There was nothing light about what had happened.

"I wasn't really paying attention." Ryan admitted, though he doubted that would come as a surprise. His girlfriend had been shot, it was all right not to be attentive to every little detail. "What do you mean strange?" Summer had always seemed a tad bit strange to him.

Seth fumbled for the right words to explain what he had seen in the raven-haired girl's eyes. "I don't know, just...distance, upset, confused. Lost." He wondered if he was making the least bit of sense and hoped that Ryan would understand what he was trying to say.

"She just saw somebody shoot themselves." Ryan pointed out. "She was the right to be a little upset and confused."

Seth realized that he did have a point.


Ryan was flipping through a two year old sports magazine when Sandy, Kristen, Julie and Jimmy finally emerged from the second floor cafeteria, where they had spent the better part of two hours. Seth had fallen asleep since their talk about Summer and Ana and was snoring softly with his head leaned against the wall behind him and his legs sprawled out in front of him. Every so often he would stir, mumbling something unintelligible and resume snoring, leaving Ryan to wonder just went on inside his friend's head, not that he would be able to understand whether Seth was awake or asleep.

Kristen smiled lovingly at her son as she noticed him sleeping, now with a smile upon his face; she made no move to wake him but instead sat down beside him, picking up a magazine, a smile still on her face.

Ryan tossed the magazine aside and looked over at the Coopers, who were talking quietly with Sandy; Seth wasn't the only one in the waiting room asleep and they didn't want to disturb anyone if it wasn't necessary. "Do you think I can go visit Marissa again?" He questioned, looking mainly at Julie, who would be more likely to grant his request then her ex-husband.

It didn't take Julie long to consider. "If she's not asleep." It seemed doubtful to her that her daughter would be awake, after all the excitement and painkillers that her dripping into her system, but she didn't see any harm in letting Ryan check on the girl. She was going to do it herself in a few minutes anyway, he simply beat her to it.

Ryan smiled and headed out of the waiting room without another word; the hallway was empty for the moment, no concerned family members walking it to visit ailing patients at this hour. He did pass one nurse, who gave him a curious glance but said nothing to him, letting him continue to Marissa's room without problem.

The door to 180 was open, just as it had been when he had last visited Marissa and Ryan poked his head in first, curious to see if his girlfriend was awake or indeed asleep. Marissa was propped up on a mountain of pillows, staring out the window, her hands worrying the fabric of the stark white blanket that she had pulled up to her waist; she didn't appear to know she was being watched and Ryan stood in the doorway for a moment, simply staring at her. Her face was pale, making her dirty haystack hair stand on in contrast they way it never did; he could see the bandages wrapped around her waist, dots of blood speckling the white.

Marissa finally turned her head away from the window, looking almost startled to see Ryan standing in the foyer silently. She smiled, making her face look less gaunt and pale, her blue eyes sparkling as she looked at him. "Ryan. I was wondering when you were coming back." She said.

Ryan smiled as well, entering the room and pulling up a chair so that he could sit beside her. "You can't keep me away for long." He pointed out, taking her hand as he sat down. Marissa entwined her fingers with his and squeezed as tightly as she could at the moment; just having Ryan right there at the moment made her feel a little better. "How are you feeling?" He questioned.

Marissa shrugged, then winced. "As good as can be expected, since I've been shot." She toyed with the words as she spoke them. "I never thought I would say that." The words didn't sound as exciting as they always appeared on television or in the movies; she didn't feel like she bore any badge of courage, just a bullet hole.

"You're not in too much pain?" Ryan pressed, concern on his face. "'Cause I could get the nurse if you wanted."

Marissa shook her head. "There's a little, but I feel like I've been getting painkillers every fifteen minutes." She told him. "Truthfully, I can't really feel a lot down there." It was something she hadn't mentioned to the doctor or the nurse or her parents, not wanting to know just what that meant; she could wiggle her toes but couldn't really feel her legs but had managed to convince herself that it was simply the painkillers doing their job.

Ryan looked concerned but didn't say anything, for which Marissa was thankful. Before he had a chance to say anything about anything, she said, "Is Summer here? I haven't seen her since the penthouse."

"She's not here." Ryan told her, wishing he could say otherwise since he didn't like the pained look upon his girlfriend's face. "She wasn't feeling well, shaken up and stuff, so Ana took her home." On afterthought he added, "She'll be here tomorrow." He hoped that was true. Ryan hoped that whatever was bothering Summer would pass by tomorrow so that she could make it to the hospital.

Marissa nodded, pursing her lips; it wasn't like Summer not to have come to visit her already, she barely left her alone when she wasn't in the hospital. She lay her head back against the pillows, sighing wearily; she was exhausted, but too frightened and shook up to sleep for the time being. Marissa didn't trust herself to be able to close her eyes and not see the look on Oliver's face before he pulled the trigger, or what had happened when he had pulled the trigger on himself. She figured she was in for a lot of sleepless nights.

Ryan noticed her exhaustion. "You need some rest, I'll come back later after you've had some sleep." He offered, preparing to stand but stopping when Marissa tightened her grip on his hand.

"No, it's all right, you don't have to go." Marissa told him, looking into his eyes. "Stay a while and talk to me. Something's bothering you." She noted, seeing the shadows in his eyes.

Ryan sat back down as she instructed but remained silent for a moment; something was indeed bothering him, something he had mentioned to Seth or Sandy or anyone else. He simply stared down at her pale fingers for a long moment, trying to collect his thoughts as Marissa watched him silently. "I just...I can't help but think that you being in the hospital right now is somehow my fault." He muttered so low that Marissa almost didn't understand him.

"Ryan, why would you think something like that?" Marissa questioned, brow knitting in surprise. If anything, he had saved her from being even more hurt then she already was, he should consider himself somewhat of a hero.

He didn't look at her right away but when Ryan finally met her eyes, Marissa could see pain flickering in his dark eyes. "Oliver told me that if I came into the penthouse he was going to shoot you, but I didn't listen, I came in anyway." He answered, holding onto her hand tightly.

"After I had been shot." Marissa reminded him, reaching over and touching his cheek with her other hand. "You can't blame yourself for what Oliver did, Ryan, you saved my life. You're my hero." She smiled at her, a gesture that seemed to put him at ease.

Ryan leaned forward and kissed her gently, cupping her cheek in his hand; Marissa returned the kiss, her lips warm against his. The kiss was broken when someone standing in the doorway cleared their throat, causing Ryan to pull away from his girlfriend and look over toward the hallway.

Julie and Jimmy were standing in the foyer with a middle-aged doctor standing in front of him, arms crossed, clearly the one who had broken their kiss. Marissa blushed slightly, avoiding her parents' eyes for a moment, staring down at her lap and over at Ryan, who took his seat once again, his hand still in hers.

"I assume you're not a family member." The doctor said, without a trace of humor in his voice, getting a silent glare from Ryan. "Only family members can visit patients in the ICU ward."

Ryan couldn't help but glare at the man. "She's not just a patient, she's my girlfriend." He said, daring the doctor to say anything more.

Julie couldn't help but smile at the teenager's brash attitude and had to admire him for that trait as well; not everyone was so loose-lipped when it came to speaking their mind, after all. The doctor also seemed taken aback but quickly recovered himself. "Well, though that may be true, I have some private matters to discuss. With the family." He made a point of saying the last part.

For a moment, Marissa looked nervous, suddenly fearing the worse was to come from discussing these 'private matters.' "Whatever you have to say," she began as boldly as she could muster for all her sudden nervousness, "you can say it with Ryan here." She didn't want him to leave her, especially not now.

The doctor looked over at Julie and Jimmy for his next move, realizing he had lost the battle with Jimmy simply nodded, a signal for him to allow Ryan to stay. The Coopers entered the room and stood beside their daughter, Julie resting her hand upon Marissa's shoulder.

With a glance at Ryan, the doctor cleared his throat, flipping open the manila folder in his hands. "When the bullet struck Marissa, it lodged just above her hip, damaging many of the nerves around the area. X-rays have indicated that, though at this time we're not entirely certain, there is a high risk that Marissa might not be able to walk any longer."