The Master of Prunes

Chapter Five

I am the one who wrote the letter, the boy said. I am the one who wrote the letter. I AM THE ONE WHO WROTE THE-

Yes, we get it, Riku said, folding his arms. He leaned to his left on his hip.

What are we supposed to scream about? Kairi asked, glancing back and forth between Sora's body and the boy. I mean, it's kind of stupid just saying Don't forget to scream' when there's nothing to scream ab-

Hold that thought, Riku said, and he hurried down to Sora's body. He bent down, sticking out his butt so that Kairi could see it. He felt Sora's pulse. HE'S BREATHING! HE'S BREATHING BREATHING BREATHING BREATHING BREATHING!

the boy laughed evilly. He grinned evilly too once he was finished laughing. It's a trick. He's really dead.

No, if he's breathing, he's alive, you idiot, Kairi said to the boy, shooting him a dirty look. The boy immediately stopped talking any other word. She hurried over to Riku and bent down. HE IS ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE, HE'S ALIVE, HE'S A-

Sora murmured. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

NO! HE CAN'T BE ALIVE! the strange boy roared. He ran over to where all three of them were. He pushed Kairi aside. Move aside! he yelled. Kairi tripped on a tiny rock and blood squirted from her leg. She started screaming while the boy observed Sora's pulse.

Sora scrambled to his feet. Who're you? he blurted, staring at the boy.

Afedermis Meddleton, the boy said, at your service!

Yeah yeah whatever, Riku said. But you tried to kill him! MURDERER! JUST BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID LETTER, EH, MISTER?

Afedermis laughed coldly. Yyyyyyyesssss, the letterrrrr, he said, laughing. He laughed harder and harder. Riku surveyed him in suspicion.

Riku poked Afedermis gently, and Afedermis yelled in pain. Afedermis yelled, and he collapsed onto the floor. Blood squirted from his nose.

SHUT UP! Sora shouted, and Afedermis stopped yelling. And then he died.

Riku sat behind Sora. Mind if I... rub your head?

No, not at all! Sora said delightfully.

Riku placed his fingers on Riku's head. He began to slowly massage his head, his fingers moving in circles and triangles. He closed his eyes and swayed from side to side.

What are you doing, freak? Kairi shouted. She pulled on Riku's shirt and pulled it onto his feet. Riku gasped in alarm.

What are you doing, freak? Riku yelled.

Kairi kicked Riku in the shin, and Riku gasped. He placed his hand on his chest while he gasped.

Kairi asked. She tossed back her hair. Then she swayed her hips in circles, and then she threw them side to side.

You- have- GREEN SPINACH IN YOUR TEETH! Riku shrieked in fear.

Sora gasped loudly. Then he jumped up in the air. He repeated this, and then jumped in circles around Riku and Kairi.

What are you doing, freak? Kairi asked him as he jumped.

Then Sora stopped dancing. He began to dance. He jumped side to side, and did the Disco dance. Then he pulled Kairi into a Square Dance, placing a cowboy hat on his and her head.

I know you something you don't know! he chanted merrily.

What is it, moron? Kairi asked. She joined hands with Riku and they were dancing in a circle, their hands holding each other's.

You- like- CHOCOLATE PUDDING! Sora yelled. Riku stopped dancing, gasped, and fainted on the very spot.

Well, I actually LOVE CHOCOLATE PUDDING WITH VANILLA SWIRLS! Kairi yelled. She giggled. Sora joined her in giggling, ignoring Riku who lay on the floor.

That wasn't funny, moron! Kairi yelled. She slapped Sora.

Ugh! Like, oh my god! Did you just do what I thought you did? Sora said, his hands on his hips. Oh no you didn't, girlfriend, OH NO YOU DIDN'T! He slapped her back, and they slapped each other for a few minutes.

But then a shooting star shot from the sky and blasted off Kairi's head!