The Master of Prunes

Chapter Seven

Sora disappeared, then reappeared with two large speakers. He set one on one side of the door, and the other on the other side of the door. They were both against walls.

Riku and Kairi felt absolutely stupid to be standing in a with rocks surrounding them at their feet. Sora said, silencing the silence since no one was talking. We have a special act today!

What is it, something that has to do with the rocks? Riku asked. Kairi did not burst into laughter. Riku beamed at her, and she was biting her nails nervously.

Our special act today is... Drum roll please... Drum rolls were heard suddenly out of nowhere, and Riku jumped startled. Sora shouted. Riku gasped.

Kairi grinned at Riku, sweat dripping down her cheeks. She stopped biting her nails and stood next to Sora, who stood in front of the door. An enormous stage emerged from the ground.

She will be singing her version of Hilary Duff's song entitled So Yesterday'. He paused. Without further ado, I present to you, KAIRI!

No applause was heard. Then the background music to So Yesterday by Hilary Duff echoed from the speakers. Riku's jaw dropped, and Sora hurried off the stage and stood next to him, watching Kairi.

You can change your knife
(If you wanna)
You can change your nose
(If you wanna)
If you say you're blind
Well that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your genes
And your old fat cat
('Cuz I wanna)
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, Not today, Not today, 'cause:
If it's over let it snow and
Come tomorrow it will sleep
So yesterday
So yesterday
I'm just a turd
That's already flown away
Fart it off
Let it go and
When you fall up it will seem
So yesterday, So yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm not gonna be okay.

So talented, huh? Sora said while Kairi continued to sing.

Riku said. I hate this song.

Sora said. They looked back at Kairi. Then he leaned to Riku and said, So talented, huh?

Riku looked at him. He leaned forward. They both closed their eyes, and their lips touch–

The music stopped. Kairi pounced onto Riku off the stage like a... animal. She sunk her teeth into his head, and blood squirted out like water spouting from a fountain.

Sora squealed like a pig. He ran around in circles and tripped on a tiny rock. He flew forwards and blood gushed from his leg. And after Kairi had pounced on Riku she collapsed onto the ground after tripping on a microscopic rock. Blood now flowed out from her leg like a river.

And they continued to bleed. They bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled and bled.

They bled so much that the Secret Place was now a tank of blood. Riku, Sora, and Kairi swam in their own blood, and all the blood now flowed out of the Secret Place through the entrance.

They stood on the sand outside, and Kairi dusted herself off. She was squeaky clean. Riku and Sora, on the other hand, were drenched in dripping blood.

You- didn't- hear- my- SONG! Kairi yelled at Riku and Sora. She charged at them. Both Riku and Sora squealed loudly like pigs and then snorted repeatedly. They crashed into a wall and blood shot out from their bodies like fountains.

Kairi screamed and ran in circles frantically. But Riku and Sora turned to her and grinned. They charged at her and knocked her down, and Kairi vomited on Riku.

But then the earth began to shake. The sand swirled like a tornado, and a figure appeared. He had white hair and wore an ugly purple coat.

It's- Ansem, Sora said coldly and quietly.

The figure dusted himself off and stared at the trio of them. Hello, miniscule creatures of the pure evil blood that lurks inside the roasted mushrooms and sweet peas, he said in a quick dark voice. He grinned evilly. He walked towards the three of them, and they backed away.

But then Ansem stopped. He waited for five minutes. They did not move. Then he said, Fluffy pink bunnies of the darkest realms of evil and force of nature and sake forbidden ATTACK! he yelled, pointed at the three of them. Millions of harmless, cuddly pink bunnies came out of nowhere and ran at Riku, Sora and Kairi. Then bunnies rained from the sky.

Ansem laughed evilly as Riku, Sora and Kairi stood motionless as billions of pink bunnies hopped below them.

Oh, forget the damn bunnies, shadows of evil unrentide ATTACK! Ansem yelled. Smiling Heartless appeared and ran at Riku, Sora and Kairi. The three of them squealed and Ansem laughed.