I'd like to apologize for the fact that the different sections didn't separate; I have no idea how that happened and I hope it wasn't confusing. I'm trying something new this time so I hope it works. Anyway, thanks for the great reviews, keep them up!

Chapter Fifteen

Honey and the Moon

The community of New Port Beach was once again taken over by darkness, though as night had fallen, street lamps clicked on and the lights from the offices of late working employees seemed to make the area still as bright as day. All the glittering city lights were visible from Marissa's hospital room and Ryan stood by the window, watching the city that still buzzed down below. He wondered how many of the people down below were living the perfect lives that he had always thought the rich and privileged lived. Fewer then it appeared, he was sure. No one lived a perfect life, Ryan had realized that by now, no matter how hard you tried, there was always going to be that one thing that kept everything from coming together.

Was that how his life with Marissa was going to be, despite the promise he had made to her hours ago? Were they ever going to have that storybook romance that very few couples seemed to be able to achieve, or were they always going to be trying to bring every thing together? "Ryan?" Marissa's voice caused him to turn around and face her. "You look so serious, what are you thinking about?" She asked.

Ryan stared at Marissa for a second before answering, trying to imagine what life would be like without her. He couldn't do it; he hoped that all those things standing in their way of becoming the couple they had both always wanted to be were gone now. "Nothing." He assured her. "Nothing important."

When Hailey emerged from the bathroom, where she had been for the past thirty minutes, Jimmy was certain, he was waiting for her in the waiting room. Hailey didn't look at him when she entered the room, but Jimmy decided not to let that fact bother him too much.

"Hailey, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me." Jimmy asked. "If you don't have any other plans that is." He added quickly, looking at the girl nervously. He had never been nervous around Hailey but somehow he sensed that something had changed, that she was different somehow and that made him nervous.

Hailey looked up slowly. "No, I don't think so." She answered, trying to sound nonchalant but she was aware of how badly her words seemed to hurt Jimmy. "I was just looking forward to a quiet evening." Before Jimmy could say anything else, she turned away and headed down the hallway toward the water cooler closer to the nurse's station.

Jimmy frowned and his eyes dropped to the floor; he had been nervous about asking her but he hadn't anticipated that she would say no. He'd been out with Hailey multiple times and they had always seemed to hit it off; he really liked her and he had always thought that she had really liked him to. But now, it didn't seem that way.

Someone placed their hand on his shoulder and Jimmy jumped, surprised, and whirled around to see Kirsten standing behind him. She offered him a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry, Jimmy, it's nothing personal. Hailey's just coming out of a really tough time." It was the truth, but Kirsten couldn't elaborate on her words.

Jimmy's brow knitted in concern. "What happened?" He questioned, voice and face laced with worry. Kirsten wondered if Hailey knew just how much Jimmy worried about her; she doubted it, Hailey would have less reason to leave if she knew all of what was waiting for her in New Port.

Kirsten sighed. "I don't know, Jimmy. Hailey doesn't care to elaborate on her troubles." She answered, suddenly realizing how much of a surprise that was. Ever since she had been little, Hailey would always use any opportunity she could to whine and complain about anything that was bothering her. Except for now, when she couldn't even look Kirsten in the eye when she said she didn't want to talk about it; had it finally gotten so bad that she couldn't even bring herself to talk about it? Kirsten's heart wrenched at the thought of what had happened to her little sister; she should have been there to protect Hailey, that was what sisters did.

Jimmy sighed and looked down the hallway in the direction Hailey had vanished; she was still standing by the water cooler, filling numerous plastic cups half full with water. Something about her had changed, that was for sure but he still saw the beautiful, blunt, snappy woman that he had fallen in love with so many years ago.

Jimmy headed out of the waiting room and walked down the hallway to where Hailey was standing, attempting to balance all the cups she had filled. "Can I give you a hand?" He offered, taking several of the Styrofoam cups from her.

"Thanks." Hailey muttered, looking up at him for a brief moment before turning away and heading back toward the waiting room.

When Hailey had looked up at him, Jimmy had noticed something that he hadn't seen before; her bottom lip had been split recently, he could still see where the blood had dried. His brow knitted again in a mixture of confusion and worry; had someone hit her, was that her big secret? But why would she keep that from her sister, from him? It just didn't make any sense.

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Seth hadn't been able to relax since he had left Summer's house and felt like he had been pacing around his living room for hours. It was evening now and he hadn't heard any news from Summer or his mother for that matter; you'd think that she'd call to check in on her son that'd been away from her sights for five or so hours.

In truth, Seth didn't mind that his mother hadn't called to check in, it gave him time to think about Summer. He hoped his little and slightly embarrassing impersonation of John Cusack had a least brighter Summer's spirits a little but there was no way to tell for sure because her father had chased him away with threat of painful death before he had even had the chance to speak to her. He needed another plan, another way to cheer up Summer and let her know in a less comical way that he really did care for her.

But how was he even supposed to get close to Summer when her father had the police on speed-dial? Suddenly, Seth had an idea; it would be risky but it would be worth it if he could manage to pull it off.

With a smile on his face, Seth hurried out of the living room and into the kitchen.

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Summer only retreated from the darkness and relative safety of her room because she could tell her father was worried about her; not that it took a genius to figure that fact out since moments before he had knocked on her door, announced he had made her favorite meal and told her how worried he was about her. And so, Summer had managed to untangle herself from her dark haven and head down stairs.

The smells of fresh spaghetti sauce, boiling noodles and baking garlic bread weren't even enough to entice Summer as she stepped in the kitchen. Her father was standing by the pot of wilted noodles, stirring them and trying not to look as worried about his daughter as he said he was. But Summer could see through his disguise and was surprised when she didn't really care; she loved her father, he was the only parent she had ever really known and she hated to see him upset. The fact that she was unmoved by his touching display of fathering love did more then surprise her, it scared her. Was this how it was going to be forever? Was she always going to be numb to everything and everyone around her?

Ian turned around and offered his daughter a wane smile. "Food's just about ready, Summer, you can go ahead and sit down." He gestured toward the oak table, set for two, just as it had been since she had been five years old.

Summer did as her father suggested, feeling like she was running on autopilot. This isn't right! Her mind screamed. I don't want to feel like this! But every time she tried to feel something different, all she felt was her pain over losing her mother and the shock of seeing Oliver shoot himself. And that was when she realized that not feeling anything was better then what she could be feeling.

Ian watched Summer out of the corner of his eyes and sighed; this was just like when her mother had died those years ago. It had been bad seeing his daughter act like this once before and now he was having to live through it again. He prepared their plates and carried them to the table, deciding to sit next to Summer instead of across from her as they did every other night when he was in town.

"So, Summer, is there anything you want to talk about?" Ian questioned as he set her plate in front of her. Summer looked down at her food but didn't act like she had even seen it. "About Marissa or..."

"No." Summer answered sharply. "I don't want to talk about Marissa and I definitely don't want to talk about Mom." The images of that night flashed in her mind and she shut her eyes against them but that only made it worse.

Ian seemed surprised by her sharp response. "I'm just want you to know that I'm hear for you, to talk...about anything." She stared down at her plate. "Because I know what you're going through now, seeing Marissa get shot was probably a lot like seeing your-"

"Stop!" Summer shouted and bolted to her feet so fast that her chair clattered to the floor. "Stop talking about it." She hissed, hating herself for snapping at her father but unable to stop herself, just as she was unable to stop the tears that were filling her eyes.

Ian was so surprised by her outburst (his darling little Summer had never yelled at him before) that he could do nothing but stare at Summer. She used his silence as the chance to turn and head out of the kitchen, rushing up the stairs and back to her room, where no one talked about what had happened those years ago. Yet, not even the darkness of her room could keep away the mental images that flashed through her head, ruling her thoughts and making her act this way.

Summer hadn't been lying on her bed, the covers pulled up to her chin like she was a child again, for more then ten minutes when she heard someone hard but small hit the glass pane of her window. She turned her head in the direction, waited a minute and then thought she had imagined the whole thing. She thought differently when the sound was repeated, with a little more force then the last time. It took Summer a minute to realize what the sound was: someone was throwing someone against her window from the yard below.

The object hit the window again and Summer pushed her covers back, slipping out of bed and heading over to the window. She already knew who she was going to see, standing in her yard, but she was still touched when she pushed by the curtain to see Seth Cohen, preparing to throw another rock, looking over his shoulder toward the front door with a concerned expression on his face. Once he seemed certain that no one (Ian Roberts in particular) was going to come out the front door, Seth looked back in the direction of her window, prepared to throw the pebble in his hand, stopping when he saw Summer looking down at him.

"Come here." He mouthed to her, making the gestures in case she couldn't read his overly exaggerated words. "Come down here."

Summer's brow knitted and she shook her head; she didn't feel like going to talk to Seth right now, knowing full well that he would only want to talk about the same subjects that her father did. She turned away from the window, stopping when another rock hit the glass and she turned around again.

"Please." Seth fixed her with a puppy dog stare, putting his hands together in a praying gesture and comically stuck his bottom lip out. "Please." He batted his eyelashes.

Summer watched him for a minute longer, debating; he obliviously wanted to talk to her but she knew what he wanted to talk about. Yet when she was with Seth was the only time that she managed to almost forget about Marissa and Oliver and her mother. She would give anything to feel that way all the time.

Finally, Summer unlocked her window and pushed it open; Seth smiled. She swung her right leg over the sill, balanced on the ledge and grabbed the half-rotted trellis that hadn't grown anything in years and with the experience of someone who had snuck out of her room multiple times, did just that. Seth watched her as she scaled the trellis with ease and offered her a smile when she turned in his direction. Summer didn't return the gesture. "What?"

"I've got something I want to show you." Seth explained and took her hand, leading her away from her house. He was worried that Ian might make himself known at any moment and his plan would be ruined and he'd never get to tell Summer everything he wanted to say.

Summer didn't look impressed. "What is it?" She asked him, following dutifully as he led her onto the sidewalk and away from her house. Seth didn't answer, simply offered her another smile and promised that she'd see when they got there. Summer was relieved when they walked in silence, with Seth not pressing her about what she was feeling and all the things that her dad wanted to talk about. She liked the way the palm of his hand felt against hers, how warm and secure when nothing else in the world seemed that way.

The New Port Beach Marina was a ways from Summer's house but to Seth the walk seemed much shorter the second time around then it had when he had first headed off to her house. The sun had completely sunken beneath the horizon line by the time they arrived but Summer could still see well enough because of the various street lights to get a look around. She had never been to the Marina before and was impressed by the vast array of yachts, sailboats and catamarans that were docked around them.

"What are we doing here?" Summer questioned and Seth turned back to look in her direction.

But he didn't answer her question until they had covered some distance along the waterlogged dock that served as a "sidewalk" between the rows of different boats. Finally, they stopped in front of a tiny catamaran, with nothing to show for itself other then a sail and a whicker basket sitting on the dock. "This is my baby," Seth explained proudly, gesturing toward the boat.

Summer raised an eyebrow. "You brought me out here to show me a sail boat?" She asked, but there was no real emotion behind the words. Seth figured that she would have had the same tone if he had shown her a pet lion that could dance the tango.

"The Summer Breeze is not a sailboat." He corrected. "She's a catamaran. And yes, I did bring you out here to see her."

Summer studied the catamaran and questioned, "Why did you name it that?"

Seth didn't answer right away; he let go of her hand and gingerly stepped onto the small deck of the Summer Breeze. Once he had himself situated, he extended his hand for Summer to take and she shook her head. "I'm not getting onto that thing; it doesn't look safe."

"Your first lesson in sailing, Summer, is that the Summer Breeze is not an 'it', you refer to all boats as 'she.'" Summer didn't look impressed. "And secondly, she's perfectly safe; I was going to take this baby all the way to Tahiti."

Summer still didn't take his hand. "Why do you want me to get on your boat anyway?" She questioned, though it looked more like a raft with a sail then a boat.

"I have something I want to show you." Seth answered and continued to hold out his hand. Finally, Summer stepped forward and allowed him to help her into the catamaran; the small boat rocked back and forth and she clung onto him nervously. If Seth had known that she would have reacted that way, he realized he would have brought her onto his boat a long time ago.

Once Summer was situated, Seth untied the Summer Breeze and showed it away from the dock. There was very little wind and he unfurled the sail to catch what there was, hoisting it and frowning when it lay flat against the mast. "Okay, plan B." He muttered, sitting next to Summer and pulling out a pair of oars. Instructed Summer to move over just a bit, he centered himself and began rowing away from the dock and out into the ocean.

"Where are we going?" Summer questioned for what seemed like the tenth time. If he would just give her a straight answer then she would stop asking but Seth seemed to get joy from making things were complicated then they were.

This time, Seth actually seemed willing to give an honest answer. "One of my favorite places along the coast." He grunted as he rowed. "I think you'll like it."

Careful not to upset the catamaran but curious nonetheless, Summer leaned forward and dragged the whicker basket across the small deck and over toward her. Seth watched her out of the corner of his eye but made no move to stop her. Summer flipped the top open and peered inside; a worn quilt rested on top of whatever else was inside and she pushed it aside to get a better look, Plates, napkins, forks and food of various sorts were all packed into the small basket and Summer looked up and over at Seth. "You're taking me on a picnic?" Seth nodded and Summer actually managed to smile. "Cohen, that is so sweet."

Seth couldn't help but smile as well; he tried to remember the last time he had seen Summer really smile and thought it must have been back in his kitchen before Ryan had rushed in and told them that Oliver was holding Marissa at gunpoint. "I hoped you might like it." He said as he steered the catamaran closer to the coast.

Summer never realized how little she knew of New Port's topography until she saw the area Seth had brought her to; the coast rose slightly in stony walls that couldn't quite be called cliffs, with jagged gray stone jutting out from the sides. The sandy beaches below were littered with rocks, no doubt broken off from the cliff-sides and in the faint moonlight everything looked strikingly beautiful to Summer. She kept her eyes on the jagged cliffs that rose up with a paved road atop them; no cars passed along now and they were alone, with no sound but that of the waves slapping against the sides of the Summer Breeze and the shore.

Seth managed to steer the catamaran to the shore, pulling in the oars as the sides bumped against the sand. He jumped out of the boat and pulled it ashore, mooring it high enough up so that the tide couldn't come and sweep it away. He had been here enough times to know all the steps he needed to go through but he had never taken someone else with him before. Seth looked over at Summer, who was still sitting on the dock with the whicker basket on her lap and looking around the beach, with a serene and amazed look on her face.

"How did you find this place?" Summer questioned as she stepped out of the boat, one hand holding the basket and the other laced with Seth's. She didn't know places like this could exist; the only beaches she had ever been so had pearly white sand, cresting waves and buff lifeguards to stare at while she sunbathed.

"Just lonely wondering." Seth answered and took the basket from her. "I used to come here a lot and think, try and figure things out, you know. It was easy to do that here, since it's so quite."

Summer nodded and wondered Seth had spent hours figuring out; it seemed intrusive to ask and so she didn't. He had, after all, kept his mouth shut about what had happened to Oliver and Marissa. Seth pulled the quilt out of the basket and set about unfolding it, spreading it across the sand; since there was no breeze he didn't have to worry about the quilt being blown around by the wind. He started taking out the plates and then paused, looking over at her. "Have you already eaten dinner?" That was something he hadn't thought about.

"No." Summer answered, digging her toes into the sand. She hadn't been hungry before but now her stomach was rumbling lowly, making her feel less like a robot on autopilot and more like a person again. Seth just seemed to have that effect on her. She turned around to face him and then headed over to the blanket, sitting beside him.

Seth offered her a plate and said, "I didn't really know what you'd feel like eating so I brought a little bit of everything we had in the house." And it appeared that he really had: sandwiches, leftover lasagna, turkey slices, fruit, even some carrots. Summer decided to help herself to some of the lasagna, since it was closet to the spaghetti she had left behind at her house.

They ate in silence for a while, listening to the surf as it pounded the beach, with Summer leaning against Seth's chest, balancing her plate on her knees. Finally, she said, "I'm really glad you brought me here."

Seth smiled. "Don't mention it. You seem a little upset lately so I thought it would be a good way to cheer you up." There was silence again and finally Seth decided to try and bring up the topic that they had both been sidestepping without even realizing it. "I don't know what you're going through, or what's going on inside your head because of what Oliver did but I want to try and understand so I can help."

Summer sighed and no longer felt like eating; yet it was something about the way Seth had brought up the subject that made Summer want to answer him. "All I can see whenever I close my eyes is Oliver killing himself. And..." She trailed off, she didn't want to talk about her mother. "And I don't understand why I keep feeling like this, why I can't seem to be feeling anything at all." She sighed and looked down at the sand.

Seth set his plate down and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. "It's going to be okay Summer, we'll make it through this together." He assured her. Whatever this was, he thought; her words had given him no insight on the way she had been acting, though she had admitted herself that she couldn't feel anything lately. Summer turned to look at him and he kissed her, cupping her cheeks in her hands.

Summer pulled away before the kiss could deepen and Seth wondered if he had made a mistake. "Seth, I love you, I always have but right now, I can't deal with being with you like that." She admitted, though she wasn't quite sure why she was pushing him away. When Seth had kissed her, she had felt something, something deep inside her stomach and her heart, where she hadn't felt anything since she saw Oliver shoot himself and she was crazy to ignore that. But she couldn't give Seth false hopes of the perfect romance when she couldn't even make herself smile.

Seth didn't seem hurt by her words and continued to hold her against his chest. "I'll always be here when you need me." He promised her. "We'll get through this together."

Summer remained silent and fixed her eyes straight ahead, watching the black ocean roll against the beach. And, feeling Seth's chest rise and fall against her back with every breath he took, listening to the waves, she actually felt safe.

------Okay, so, I'm not quite sure you're actually wondering about the title of this chapter but it comes from a line from the song "Honey and the Moon" ("You're the honey and the moon that lights up my night") by Joseph Arthur off the O.C. Mix CD and I thought it was fitting for this little scene. And for those of you who have been waiting for Marissa's operation, it'll happen in the next chapter, I promise! Anyway, keep up those great reviews!