Wow! It's been so long since I was able to update. My computer has been broken and two months and 147 dollars later, I've finally been able to update. I'm so happy! Anyway, sorry for the long wait, I hope all my loyal and wonderful readers are still out there. So, here's another chapter, long overdue!

Chapter Sixteen

The Beginning

By the time Summer and Seth returned to the Roberts house, Seth guessed it was past midnight; the house was dark, the shades drawn and Summer's window remained open, just as she had left it. She managed to smile slightly. "Thanks, for everything."

Seth nodded. "Anytime." He promised, watching her head across the yard and back to her window. With the same ease she had shown while scaling down the trellis, Summer started climbing back up to her room, back to her dark solitude.

"Summer." Summer turned around, halfway through her bedroom window, to see why Seth had called her name. "For the record, the boat was named after you." Summer smiled, the first real smile Seth had seen in a long time, and ducked back inside her room.

Seth stood on the sidewalk outside Summer's window long after she had disappeared inside and shut the window behind her. He wanted to make sure she was asleep.

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The sky over New Port was streaked with hues of grays and blues as the sun started its climb into the sky, not hampered by the clouds that gathered at the horizon. Lakeview Hospital was almost completely silent, aside from the rustling coming from Kirsten's purse as she pushed the contents around, searching for her keys. Sandy was asleep beside her, leaning against the wall, using rolled up magazines as a strange sort of pillow, undisturbed by her search, just as Jimmy and Hailey were. Kirsten, herself, had gotten close to a half hour of sleep because she found it impossible to sleep in a hospital; it reminded of her visiting her mother while she was sick and dying and could barely stand to be in the building for more then a few hours at a time. Yet the sun was rising, which meant she had spent nearly twenty-four hours sitting around in the waiting room providing support for Marissa and Jimmy.

And in all those hours, Kirsten had yet to hear from Seth, whom she had barely seen all day. She had called the house an hour or so ago but she hadn't gotten an answer and now she had decided that she was going to take a break from the hospital waiting room, stretch her legs and check on her son. Provided she could find her car keys.

Kirsten finally founded the keys to the SUV, buried beneath just about everything else in her purse and fished them out triumphantly. She was going to stop by Marissa's room to see if she needed anything and to see if Ryan wanted to stop by the house with her, though she doubted he was going to be willing to leave Marissa's side. Standing, quietly, so not to wake Sandy, she headed out of the waiting room and down the hallway toward Marissa's room.

Marissa was asleep with Ryan in bed beside her, his arms wrapped around her waist, asleep as well; Kirsten smiled at the sight of them. She couldn't believe everything that had happened in the past few days, how badly their lives had been derailed and prayed that everything would turn out all right. Ryan and Marissa deserved that. They all did.

As silently as she had entered, Kirsten turned back around and left the room, heading down the hallway and toward the elevator. The main waiting room on the bottom level of the hospital was just becoming to get crowded, filled mostly with mothers with sick children who had only the hours before sunrise to take their children to the doctor's office. Kirsten offered them a tired smile as she headed through the automatic doors and into the parking lot.

The SUV was parked in a space toward the back of the lot and Kirsten studied the grille for a moment, trying to decide if it looked a little scratched before climbing into the driver's side and starting the car. The roads had yet to be overrun with early morning rush hour traffic and she got home quickly, stopping only for red lights.

The front door was unlocked and Kirsten made a mental note to chaste Seth about that; she made it a habit to make sure the doors and windows were always locked after their house had been broken into a few weeks after they had first moved to New Port. The familiar sounds of the ninja game floated in front of the living room and headed in that direction, already preparing her motherly speech. Her planned words died in her lips when she saw that Seth was asleep on the couch, the video game controller still in his hands and the words Game Over flashing on the television screen. Kirsten smiled at the sight of her sleeping child and quietly took the controller from his hands, shut off the video game system and pulled a blanket over Seth's shoulders.

Satisfied that nothing bad had befallen her son, Kirsten headed upstairs to take a shower and change her clothes. However, when she stepped into her bedroom, her bed looked so inviting that she couldn't help but lay down for a moment, which slowly turned in a few hours. The sun rose while Kirsten slept, signaling the beginning of another day in New Port.

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Marissa woke from what she was certain was a nightmare, judging by the way she was sweating and shaking, lost for a moment in that time between sleeping and waking. Whatever had frightened her in her dreams was gone now, she couldn't even remember why she had been so scared, and she found herself wrapped in Ryan's arms, safe. The sun had almost risen in the sky and the first rays of the sunlight came through the blinds and washed across Ryan's sleeping face. Marissa smiled and reached out gently with her fingers to caress his cheek; his eyes fluttered open as soon as she touched his cheek and he smiled at her. "I didn't mean to wake you up." She apologized but Ryan just smiled.

"It's okay." Ryan said. "How are you feeling?"

Marissa sighed. "Nervous." She admitted. "About the operation." She added, as though either of them needed a reminder.

Ryan gently ran his fingers through her hair. "Everything is going to be all right, you'll see. It'll be over before you know it and we can finally get out of this hospital." He tried to smile, but it came out looking forced and crooked.

Marissa hoped he was right and forced herself to nod and smile as well; it was hard pretending that everything was all right and, even though she had been doing it all her life, it was difficult. She attempted to push her thoughts away from the operation scheduled in only a handful of hours. Unbidden, Oliver entered her mind and a question slipped from her lips before she could stop it. "Ryan, after everything that happened with Oliver, after how I didn't listen to you...way did you forgive me so easily?"

Ryan seemed taken by surprise by the question; it was one he had never asked himself before, never even stopped to think about how everything seemed to have just slipped away. "After Oliver...shot you nothing from before seemed to matter anymore. It didn't matter that you hadn't listened, that you didn't believe, because I knew that you needed me and that was the most important thing." He answered, hoping his answer was what Marissa was looking for. Ryan hoped that she understood, hoped that she realized that she was the most important thing in his world and that nothing else mattered.

Marissa was silent for a moment, staring into his eyes with a mixture of emotions shining in her own; the only thing she saw in Ryan's eyes was the truth in his words and the love that he seemed to have for her. How had she not noticed it before, how had she looked into those eyes days before and not seen what she was seeing now? "I love you, Ryan Atwood." Marissa whispered, pressing her face against his chest and shutting her eyes, enjoying the way his arms felt around her.

Ryan rested his cheek on the crown of her head, wrapping his arms tightly around Marissa. "I love you too. I always have."

Marissa knew he was telling the truth.

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Kirsten was finally awoken by a strange assortment of smells coming from the kitchen, drifting upstairs and tickling her nose and dragging her out of her perfect dream-world. Her eyes opened slowly as her mind still clung to sleep and her nose sought to identify whatever she was smelling and she found herself alone in her king sized bed. Instantly, she felt bad about leaving Sandy back at the hospital, alone and she sat up quickly, yawning and stretching her hands over her head.

Feeling a bit more rested then she had when she had arrived home from the hospital, Kirsten slipped out of bed and started toward the stairs. Before she got a shower and a change of clothes, she had to figure out what sort of madness was taking place in the kitchen. As she got nearer to the bottom level of the house, she was able to pick out one distinct smell: smoke and quickened her pace a little; the only other person in the house with her was Seth and he had certainly inherited her gene for cooking. Kirsten was surprised the smoke alarms hadn't gone off by that point.

Seth was indeed in the kitchen, jabbing at a smoking pancake -or what Kirsten had to assume was a pancake- on a pan over the stove while a blank-faced Summer stood beside him. Kirsten noticed that Summer's eyes seemed to have regained a bit of their sparkle, but the same dull and dead expression was on her face, but she knew there was a little bit of progress being made.

"Seth." Kirsten said and her son jumped, having clearly not realized she had come into the room.

Seth dropped his pan back onto the burner and whirled around. "Mom." He still seemed surprised. "I didn't even know you were home." Summer turned to look at her as well, raising her hand in a small wave.

"What are you doing?" Kirsten questioned, gesturing toward the smoking pan. Summer shut off the burner. "Seth, you could burn the house down." It was something she had almost done many a time when she kept kidding herself that she might become a better chef.

Seth raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think you're over-exaggerating things?" He questioned, seeming to be able to ignore the fact that the kitchen was filled with smoke. "I was trying to cook breakfast for me and Summer."

Kirsten made a noncommittal noise, wondering if Summer had agreed to eat such a breakfast. "Well, since that obviously didn't work out," Seth narrowed his eyes. "Why don't we pick up some doughnuts on the way to the hospital?"

Summer's brow knitted at the mention of the hospital but she didn't say anything; Seth looked over at her and attempted to read the emotion in her eyes. Her face and eyes were blank, like they always seemed to be and he couldn't even begin to guess what she was feeling. He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it tightly and Summer held onto his hand tightly, as though letting go would mean losing contact with everything.

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For nearly an hour, doctors and nurses had been in and out of Marissa's room, each with their own explanations on what was going to happen in the matter of an hour. With every new doctor, Marissa got more and more nervous, terrified down into the pit of her stomach, which felt cold and smothering. Her fingers were shaking and she hid them beneath the covers, so that no one could see them and her mouth was dry; everything in her mind was telling her that this whole thing was a mistake, that she shouldn't go through with it. Every time she even thought about the operation, she found her eyes filling with tears that threatened to fall. Somehow, Marissa didn't think she had ever been so scared.

After yet another doctor departed, Ryan turned to look at Marissa, who was wringing her shaking fingers together, her knuckles white. He took her hands, noticed how badly they were shaking, and she looked up at him, looking as though she was trying to hide just how afraid she was. "Hey, it's going to be okay all right? I promise." Ryan said, kissing her gently.

Marissa attempted to nod, sighing and resting her forehead against his, looking down at her hands, still held in his. "I wish you could be there with me." She whispered. "I wish I didn't have to be alone."

Ryan released her hands and lightly brushed his fingers across her cheeks, causing Marissa to look up again. "I'm going to be right here when you get back." He told her. "When you wake up, I'll be here."

Marissa kissed him, trying to take some comfort in his words. But somehow, even Ryan couldn't make her fear go away.

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Kirsten remembered why she never took Seth with her to the doughnut shop anymore. Her son stood in front of the glass that separated the doughnuts from the customers, staring at the pastries inside while Summer, Kirsten and everyone else in the store stared at him. "Seth," Summer mumbled impatiently, "It's just a doughnut. Pick one."

Seth looked up and over at her and his mother. "But you don't understand, it's not just a doughnut; doughnuts are the ultimate influencers."

"Uh-huh." Kirsten said, deadpan. "And how does a pastry influence anything?" She wasn't really sure she wanted to know what the answer to that question was.

Seth seemed like he had been born to answer such a question. "Say that you're in the mood for chocolate so you go to the doughnut place to get a chocolate one. But you get there and you see all these other flavors like strawberry and blueberry and suddenly you don't know what kind of doughnut you want. Are you in the mood for a strawberry or a-"

"Enough Cohen." Summer snapped with more emotion then she had shown in the past few days. Seth instantly fell silent and Summer gave her attention to the man behind the counter. "We'll just take two dozen glazed." She said, looking at Kirsten for confirmation and Kirsten nodded. The doughnuts were purchased and the trio headed out of the shop.

Seth looked over at Summer but the emotion she had shown moments ago had disappeared once again. At least he knew, without a doubt, that the old Summer was in there somewhere.

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Sandy, Hailey and Jimmy were pooling their change for a trip to the vending machines when Kirsten, Seth and Summer walked into the waiting room. Hailey's tired eyes instantly lit up when she saw the box that her sister was carrying. "Rescued by sugar." She stated happily, jumping to her feet and hurrying over to relieve Kirsten of the doughnut box. "Did I ever tell you that you were my favorite sister?" She smiled.

Kirsten couldn't help but smile back; she hadn't seen Hailey smile that way since she had arrived and she was glad that her mostly bubbly sister was making a comeback. Maybe they all were making their own little comebacks.

Hailey returned with the box and set it on the table in front of Jimmy and Sandy and flipped open the box quickly, snatching up one of the pastries before anyone else could. Sandy gave his wife and hello kiss when she sat down beside him. "Sorry I didn't wake you before I left." Kirsten said.

"You brought breakfast, apology accepted." Sandy smiled and picked up a doughnut. Kirsten did likewise and inquired about Marissa, to which her husband told her she was fine but nervous about the upcoming operation.

Jimmy grabbed his own doughnut and went to sit down next to Hailey, but she stood up before he could even make it to her, heading over to the opposite corner and making it very clear that she wanted to be alone. He watched her, hurt by the way she was avoiding him and making no move to conceal that fact. What was he doing wrong? What had changed? Jimmy just wished he could get the chance to ask her.

Kirsten finished her doughnut and decided against grabbing another; she looked over at Jimmy and noticed him staring at Hailey, who was avoiding any type of eye contact. She hated to see him hurt once again by her sister; she was going to have to talk to Hailey next chance she got. To change the subject, Kirsten questioned, "Where's Julie? I thought she'd be here by now." She loathed the idea of Julie Cooper spending all night with her father.

Jimmy turned his attention to Kirsten. "That's what I thought too." He shrugged. "Maybe Marissa's better without her." He almost believed that was true.

Kirsten wiped her fingers off on a napkin and stood up. "I'm going to go see Marissa and wish her good luck." She thought about it for a second; 'good luck' sounded like such a strange thing to say at a time like this.

Sandy and Jimmy nodded and Kirsten headed out of the waiting room and down the all too familiar hallway toward Marissa's room. When she arrived, she found Marissa propped up on pillows with her head bowed and her hair falling across her face, creating the perfect mask. "Where's Ryan?" Kirsten questioned when she saw that the room was empty.

"He went to get some water." Marissa answered and Kirsten could tell instantly that the girl was crying.

Kirsten sat down on the bed beside her. "Honey, what's wrong?" She questioned, resting her hand on her shoulder. Marissa lifted her head, her hair falling back, relieving her tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. "Are you all right?"

Marissa sniffed and wiped away some of her tears. She thought about lying but instead said, "No." Another tear fell down her cheeks. "I'm so scared." She admitted, her voice little more then a whisper.

Kirsten noticed that Marissa's hands her shaking and realized that the girl was more then scared, she was terrified. "It's okay, Marissa." She said, hugging Marissa in what she hoped was a comforting way.

"What if something goes wrong? What if the operation doesn't work at all?" Marissa questioned, resting her face against Kirsten's shoulder. This was something her mother would have never done; hell, Julie probably wouldn't have even noticed that she was crying. Kirsten held her in a reassuring, motherly way that reminded Marissa of the way Julie used to hug her, when she was barely out of diapers. What had changed?

"Whether it works or not you're always going to have people that love you and care for you." Kirsten told Marissa. "And we're going to love you no matter what happens." She gave Marissa a motherly kiss on the cheek before pulling away.

Marissa looked at Kirsten and nodded slowly; what Kirsten had said was true, Ryan and her dad were going to love her no matter what happened with the operation. She wiped away her tears, her heart not hammering in her chest near as much as it had been moments before. "Thanks Ms. Cohen."

Kirsten nodded and offered the teenager a slight smile. Ryan walked into the room, carrying two Styrofoam cups filled with water and both girls looked over at him. "Are you okay Marissa?" He questioned, looking worried the instant he saw her tear-filled eyes.

Marissa nodded. "I think so." She answered, taking one of the cups from Ryan. "For now anyway." She studied the cup for a moment before setting it aside; the last doctor that had visited had reminded her not to eat or drink anything and she didn't want to take her chances.

The nurse that was most often in Marissa's room entered then, pushing a wheelchair in front of her and Marissa felt her heart start to hammer again. "Are you ready, Marissa?" The nurse questioned, her voice kind and gentle.

Marissa took a deep breath. "If I say no will you come back later?" She questioned but no one smiled and that was okay with her. She hadn't meant it to be funny. Ryan helped the nurse get Marissa out of bed and into the wheelchair waiting for her.

Ryan held Marissa's hand tightly. "I'll see you in a few hours." He whispered, kissing her. "I love you."

Marissa squeezed his hand and wished that she didn't have to ever let go. The nurse wheeled her down the hallway and Ryan watched the chair until it disappeared inside the elevator, feeling more lost and alone then he had ever had before in his life.

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Julie arrived with Caleb shortly after Marissa was given the anesthetic before her operation was due to start. Jimmy shot her a look but remained silent, worried about what would come out of his mouth if he let himself speak. Julie did look genuinely pained when she heard that Marissa was already in the ER and took her seat silently, looking worried for her daughter's sake.

Everyone was in the waiting room, aside from Ryan, who had remained in Marissa's room to make sure that he kept his promise to her. Summer was due for her therapy session in ten minutes and sat in her chair silently, with her knees drawn up to her chin and her legs wrapped tightly around her legs. Seth sat next to her, trying to get her mind off Marissa, therapy and her own private demons. Aside from Seth's near whispered words, the room was silent, with everyone thinking about Marissa and hoping that the operation would produce the results they all hoped for.

Dr. Browning entered the room and cleared his throat, which caused the entire room to look over at him. His eyes settled on Jimmy and Julie. "Can I speak to you two for a moment, please?" He questioned, waiting impatiently by the entrance of the room for them to stand and join him. They walked into the hallway and Browning wasted no time telling them the reason he had sought them out. "I know that you're both worried about your daughter, but we need to discuss how you're going to pay for her operations and hospital bills. Your insurance won't cover the cost of everything."

Jimmy sighed, shutting his eyes and rolling his fingers into slack fists; no matter what happened, everything always came back to money and, more often then not, money problems. He exhaled and looked up back at Browning. "We've been dealing with money issues lately; I'm not sure how we're going to be able to pay for everything."

Browning didn't look pleased by this statement but Julie spoke up before he had a chance to say anything. "I can ask Cal if he'll give us a loan." She said, seeming to speak more to Jimmy or herself then to the doctor. "I'm sure he'll be happy to help."

Browning nodded. "I'll bring you the necessary paperwork." He headed off toward the nurse's station to retrieve the paperwork in question.

Jimmy looked at his ex-wife, brow knitting. "You don't have to ask Caleb." He said, his voice low and harsh. "We can handle this."

Julie looked at him evenly. "By stealing more money?" She questioned sharply, continuing before Jimmy had a chance to respond. "As endearing as it is, your pride won't pay for your daughter's operation."

Jimmy was too surprised to speak and Julie used his silence to join Browning at the nurse's station. He watched her disappear, realizing she was right and hating himself for it.

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Seth held onto Summer's hands, a comforting gesture that didn't really succeed. "It's only thirty minutes." He reminded her. "And when that doctor gets down trying to shrink you, I'll be waiting out here."

Summer nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Cohen." She pulled her hands free and ducked inside the therapist's office.

Seth watched the door swing shut behind her and sighed, hoping that someone would be able to figure out how to help Summer when he seemed to be failing. He sat down on the wooden bench in the hallway and picked up a magazine but found himself unable to concentrate on anything in front of him. All he could think about was Summer.

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Only thirty minutes had passed but all the doughnuts were gone and Hailey was hungry again and so she stood in front of the collection of vending machines digging change out of her pocket.

Jimmy looked up from the water cooler, bringing his Styrofoam cup to his lips, his eyes scanning the hallways; Julie was still talking with Browning, as well as Caleb, about payment options for Marissa's hospital bills. Kirsten and Sandy were sitting alone in the waiting room, playing tic-tac-toe on the back of an old magazine. Jimmy's eyes finally settled on Hailey, who was counting the change in her palm and not looking too happy with the results. He set his cup aside and headed over to her.

"Hailey, can I talk to you?" Jimmy questioned. His sudden appearance caused Hailey to jump, most of the change falling to the floor; she spun around and let out a deep sigh.

"God, don't do that any more." She snapped. "I've been snuck up on enough times in the past month." Hailey mumbled this last part, bending down and starting to gather the change around her feet.

Jimmy bent down in front of her. "No kidding." She looked up at him. "Hailey, I've seen your eye, I know somebody hit you." Hailey's brow knitted. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Hailey got to her feet and attempted to make a quick getaway but the vending machines behind her only allowed her to back up so far. She looked at Jimmy and saw that his eyes were filled with concern, that he genuinely cared that she had been hurt. "What was I supposed to tell you? That some asshole in L.A. hit me whenever he felt like it?" Hailey snapped, staring down at the floor, unwilling to see the look in Jimmy's eyes when she spoke.

Jimmy took a step toward her. "Why did you let him?" He questioned, able to see her black eye more clearly now that the makeup had been rubbed off during sleep. "Why didn't you just leave." He touched her shoulder and Hailey didn't pull away.

"It wasn't that easy." Hailey whispered, tears stinging her swollen eye as she attempted to blink them away. "I had no where to go."

Jimmy gently cupped her cheek in his fingers and caused her to lift her head. "You could have come here." He told her, wondering what could have been so bad in New Port that staying with a man that hit her was a better choice.

"And what would I have told Kirsten?" Hailey questioned, a single tear slipping onto her cheek. "That her baby sister couldn't make a living at doing anything but being a striper in a nightclub? That she had to live with a man she had only known for a few days because she couldn't afford a place for herself? That she let him hit her because he gave her a place to stay?" More tears fell down and Hailey bowed her head.

Jimmy pulled her into his arms and she let him, trying to feel safe. For a while, he was silent, holding her because he knew that was what she needed the most, unable to think of anything to say. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, "You could have come to stay with me, there's a really nice fold out couch in the living room." He wasn't quite sure if he meant it to be a joke but Hailey let out a little laugh anyway and Jimmy smiled slightly.

Hailey finally lifted her head and looked at him. "When I told Jacob, that's the ass that hit me, that I was leaving he said he would kill me if I ever did leave him. That's when I decided that living with my father would even be better then staying with him."

Jimmy kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you left." He said, wishing to say more but knowing now was not the time.

For a moment, Hailey didn't look so sure. "He said he would find me if I left." She told Jimmy, resisting the urge to bit onto her bottom lip since it still throbbed from Jacob's parting blow. "You don't think he really meant it?" At that moment, Hailey wanted nothing more then for Jimmy to tell her that everything was going to be all right, that she could put everything behind her and start all over in New Port, whether it was true or not.

"If he shows up here, I won't let him touch you." Jimmy said, sounding more assured and strong then Hailey had ever heard someone sound before.

And that was why Hailey really believed that he was going to protect her and keep her safe from whatever she was running from. She leaned forward and gave him a light kiss, pulling away before he could even react, smiling at him. No matter how hard she had tried to overlook it, Jimmy really cared about her, Hailey realized that now and for the first time, that fact didn't scare her.

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Hours had passed and Ryan hadn't moved from Marissa's empty hospital room; throughout the day, Kirsten and Sandy had come in to give him a little company but had quickly left when they realized the only company he wanted was Marissa's. Until her operation was over and she was back in her hospital bed, he preferred to be alone with only his thoughts and worries.

When Dr. Browning finally arrived in the waiting room with news about Marissa's operation, it was nearly nightfall and everyone was trying to decide what to do for dinner. Seth and Summer were playing dominoes and Summer looked a more like her old self then she had in the past couple of days and even laughed when Seth told one of his more creative jokes.

As soon as Browning entered, however, everyone stopped whatever they were doing and talking about and looked in his direction. A palpable silence filled with the room and Jimmy's breath froze in his chest because, for a moment, he was certain that the doctor was going to tell him that something was wrong with his daughter.

"Marissa's operation is over." Browning began. "And though we won't know anything until Marissa's wakes up from the anesthetic, the doctors that preformed the operation believe it was a success."

A large smile spread across Jimmy's face and he squeezed Hailey's hand and she smiled as well; Julie let out a sigh of relief, a smile turning out the corners of her lips. "That's great news." Sandy said, nodded and patting Jimmy on the back, knowing that a huge burden had been removed from his heart. It had been removed from all of their hearts.

Seth looked over at Summer and was surprised to see that she was smiling as well, looking happier then she had in a long time. She looked over at him when she noticed he was staring at her and the smile didn't disappear. "Marissa's going to be all right." She said as though he hadn't heard the news for himself.

Seth nodded and smiled slightly. Marissa was going to be all right, maybe they all were.