The Master of Prunes

Chapter Seventeen

Kairi vomited and Tidus, Wakka, Riku, Ansem, and Genie all burst into laughter and tears. Kairi was covered in red diarrhea and had just VOMITED!

This is definitely the highlight of my day! Tidus yelled out, bawling with laughter.

Wakka glared at him. Are you saying we had meaningless se-

Seventh and last time you did that, Sora! Kairi screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks like rivers.

It's not my fault I was constipated, Sora said. I had to take a laxative, and boy, did it feel funny!

Tell me, Sora, Kairi said, a microphone suddenly appearing in her hands. Do you like to be constipated?

Uhmmmm... sometimes, Sora said, smiling.

Well this is dedicated to you, my Honey Bunches of Oats, Kairi said, gripping the mic. A huge stage appeared out of the sand and so did massive speakers booming the beat to Avril Lavigne's annoying song, . Kairi abruptly burst into song:

Uh huh, life's like piss
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
Cause life's like piss
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is

Chill out whatcha eatin' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it pee
you will see
I like you the way you fart
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one but you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you have a tack
You're tryin' to be a fool you look pretty cool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so constipated?
I see the way you're eating like you're somebody else gets me inflated
Life's like piss you
And you piss and you diss and you kiss
and you take what you get and you turn it into puberty
and promise me I'm never gonna see you ate it
yes yes yes

You come over underground
undressed like you're somethin' else
where you aren't and where it's at you see
you're making me
fart out when you strike your coat
put on all your crappy clothes
you know you're not fking anyone
when you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
Watching your back, like you have a tack
Trying to be a fool you look pretty cool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so constipated?
I see the way you're eating like you're somebody else gets me inflated
Life's like piss you
And you piss and you diss and you kiss
and you take what you get and you turn it into puberty
and promise me I'm never gonna see you ate it
yes yes yes

Chill out whatcha eatin' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it pee
you will see

Somebody else round everyone else
Watching your back, like you have a tack
Trying to be a fool you look pretty cool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so constipated?
I see the way you're eating like you're somebody else gets me inflated
Life's like piss you
And you piss and you diss and you kiss
and you take what you get and you turn it into puberty
and promise me I'm never gonna see you ate it
yes yes yes

Why you have to go and make things so constipated?
I see the way you're eating like you're somebody else gets me inflated
Life's like piss you
And you piss and you diss and you kiss
and you take what you get and you turn it into puberty
and promise me I'm never gonna see you-

Genie shrieked, clapping with his handish hands wildly. Bonjour, guten fahrt, konnichiwawa!

What the hell is he speaking in four different languages for? Wakka whispered to Tidus.

No idea, Tidus replied, sighing. But Kairi certainly is a lovely singer, even though her lyrics really suck.

Those lyrics weren't hers. They were Avril Lavigne's.

Then Avril Lavine has terrible lyrics, Tidus commented, making an expression of complete revolt. Wakka nodded in approval.

Why do you have to go, Sora, Kairi began, and make things so constipated?

I couldn't help it! Riku's... stuff... accidentally got to my stomach through my butt- buttons, and BOOM! When Sora said BOOM he said it intensely loud, which caused Wakka, Tidus, Ansem, and Riku to fly backwards into the wall into unconsciously.

Continued... in CHAPTER EIGHTEEN!

A/N: Oh, there simply must be a disclaimer for the lyrics used in Master of Prunes- original Come Clean, So Yesterday, and Why Not lyrics were written horribly by Hilary Duff, and original lyrics were written terribly by Avril Lavigne ( last name pronounced: lah - va - een )